Women Feel Sorry For Rapists

Women involved in any level of government other than putting the spun gold that comes out of men’s mouths onto paper or making the fucking coffee is a blueprint to disaster. Not a disaster like being two hours late to a party because you took the wrong freeway and then hit a watermelon truck because your wife can’t read directions either. This is a disaster like burning sulfur raining from the sky or lava shooting all the fuck over the place. That’s a biblical manner of shit.

Women with any kind of power means civilization is about to be proper fucked. That’s the battle we fight as men, constantly pulling the human race back from the edge of nothing with one hand tied behind our backs because we’re goddamn men and that’s how we do everything: easily.

Women feel sorry for themselves all the time. I mean all the time too. If a woman isn’t having fun somewhere fun like an awesome Nicolas Cage movie or doing a shitty job playing with a Frisbee at the beach, it’s because she’s fucking feeling sorry for herself again. Boo-hoo.

Women feel sorry for you too. Even if you’re filthy rich and for some reason you can fly you just don’t tell anyone about it — every woman out there feels sorry for you and hates the fuck out of you. Oh no. I’m still not done.

Women also feel sorry for puppies and kittens and little baby seals with their priceless little hides of fur and their cold little flippers. Think that’s stupid? Yes you do because you’re a man, but I’m just getting warmed up. Women also feel sorry for diet sodas and imitation Oreo cookies. “Does anyone really love diet sodas for diet sodas?” Women say. “Do they love diet soda because of its taste or in spite of it?”

Neither, you dumb broad! It’s diet fucking soda.

Women feel sorry for worn out T-shirts and washing machines that need to be replaced. They feel sorry for broken down cars that get traded in and old pairs of scissors that get lent to a child and then are never seen again. They feel sorry for fucking rocks and sticks and smudges on tissues. Women wallow in sorrow every day of their fucking lives, but here’s the one that won’t surprise you because you’re a man, but will make you chuckle.

Women feel sorry for rapists.

Yes, lets all have a good laugh at the implausibility of it.

Some brilliant man-scientists just performed a study which concluded the following:

When people who deserve it get what’s coming to them, men’s brains function as men’s brains do: 100% perfectly. Women’s brains, however, are donkey shit.

In a closed game system, women’s brains lit up with empathy like slot machines when a deserving party was administered a mild electric shock. Men’s brains lit up with glee — man-glee, which means that someone somewhere was getting the job done right.

By extension, we can assume women have zero concept of justice and therefore are the E-coli of a healthy civilization. We can assume that, but as men we should just go on our mighty man-stincts in the first place, which say the following:

Women are coddling know-nothings who can stop a buck about as well as they can hold one.

What a joke.

I could make this shit up, but why?

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