Women Still Suck At Computers
Women are leaving the profession of computing in record numbers. A recent study shows the percentage of women in engineering is down from 38% to 28% since 1985. I guess that’s why we call them “engineers” and not “politicians”. With no women around, they actually get things done.
Women suck at computers because they can’t evolve with technology and they don’t know a USB port from a hole in the ground, which they also don’t know from their ass.
I was just riding the elevator up to my flat with an elderly woman. I’m a gentleman so I held the door open for her despite the reeking aroma of rancid butterscotch and prunes. She reeked of it, not me. I always smell like a man: a hint of cedar, a dash of class, and a double douse of sexy, sweaty money. That’s class you can choke on.
The moment the old woman got in, her hand jabbed the “Close Doors” button like it was my wallet and she was about 50 years younger and about seven-cups sizes more statutory.
“Gross,” I thought.
Then she held onto the “Close Doors” button until long after the elevator started moving.
“Interesting choice,” I thought. “Everyone knows that button doesn’t fucking work.”
Women are the amoebas of technological sophistication. They can’t and will never evolve for shit.
Men, on the other hand, are constantly changing. We adapt to new things and also reproduce asexually with computers. I guess that makes us like amoebas of technology as well, but in a different way.
My point is, women keep on hammering the space bar when the Caps Lock key is what they’re looking for. They hit the “Log onto Myspace and Send Slutty Messages to My Ex-Boyfriends” button when what they should have done was taken two Advils and gone the fuck to bed. In twenty years, women will be looking for a place to plug their computer into the wall when plugs don’t even exist anymore.
Amoebas won’t have evolved in that time either.
I guess we’ll be using some kind of eco-fuel at that point instead of wall plugs. Like you’ll pour brandy into your computer.
Jesus, that is the manliest computer I have ever heard of. I just invented it here. I call it the Dick Masterson Masterbox.
I asked the woman on the elevator if she was getting off on the 3rd floor or in 1935. I don’t think she understood what I was talking about. Menopause will do that.
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May 10th, 2007 at 9:28 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
No you’re not. If you were an engineer, you would have followed the simple instructions for this web site. NO WOMEN ALLOWED.
Typical female argument. Don’t use any actual reason, just make emotional ad hominem attacks.
Woman, get back to work, bring some coffee for the predominantly male engineers who do most of the work in your company, and stay off this site.
May 10th, 2007 at 10:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 6ec6c2ab6784a
A truely original and informative femessay.
Not… cunt.
And I resent your existance. Correct it for me.
May 10th, 2007 at 11:22 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
I hope the top engineer actually knows how to spell his job.
-Dick
May 10th, 2007 at 11:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Well, perhaps she is the ‘Chief Percolated C. arabica Distribution Engineer’ for Lockheed Martin Tatical Defense Systems.
I guess her specialty is in the latest java preparation technologies.
July 28th, 2007 at 1:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
TSK!
July 28th, 2007 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
la di da
July 28th, 2007 at 1:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
who’s side do you think I’m on?
July 28th, 2007 at 1:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: ad75a60239238
this site is amazing, like looking at the human race through a fucked up telescope manufactured by David Lynch..a trip man how do you guys do your lives like this? I am interested in the same way I am interested in the many forms of plankton that exist, in a detached way gettit? (probably not lol) I t would def not work for me I could not be this angry all day! LOL
July 28th, 2007 at 2:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2559f72d0fa8d
How about that stupid? Can you stand being a whore all day?
And the angry part - your vagina pass doesn’t work here, or anywhere else for that matter, so I’m going to call you out on it. You seem to think that you are better than us. Why can we not think the same of you? Are you trying to control how we think?
And gurls say they wouldn’t vote for Hitler.
October 4th, 2007 at 3:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 506a83f4ff558
Question???????? What would happen if women were non-existent!!!!!! Where would yall ignorant asses be then??? hunh or would yall reproduce with each other (Adam and Adam)
October 4th, 2007 at 4:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Aren’t you just dying to know… Too much gay porn for you.
- Gusto - Disco’s Revenge (Original Remastered)
October 4th, 2007 at 5:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: eeb32e3dc6874
Notice her reply goes back to the only thing women can fall back on. Screwing. Something unfortunately their not even that good at.
October 4th, 2007 at 5:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6ba5a45dd6bd
Notice also that she fails to realize that wihtout men babies would not be born either. Self centered feminist.
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 80d616380ce3a
Your an ideot!
im a 13 year old girl.
you dont know shit.
if you dont like women, crawl into a hole and die :D
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 80d616380ce3a
im better at computers then you will ever be.
go die!
December 1st, 2007 at 8:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
maybe because we want to go into an interesting profession where we don’t sit in front of a computer all day
maybe we want to do something with our lives, such as making a difference, not some website that is dedicated to being a horrible human being
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2e156e431b91f
“Computer Science Takes Steps to Bring Women to the Fold”
Don’t you fucking dare!
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 673b8295d0ef7
As long as the women know what they’re doing it’s all okay.
You see where I’m going with that don’t you?
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8b7da5576e6e9
Wow, you are one of the few people I have met that somehow manages to radiate stupidity. Congratulations.
Oh, Dick IS making a difference. You are just too thick to realize it.
As for dedication, I suggest you read the page. Menarebetterthanwomen.com, not Iamahorribleperson.com.
See, that was not so hard, was it? It was? Oh, that just supports m assumption.
April 12th, 2008 at 12:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 09b607c8c4b90
Well, for starters, we -wouldn’t- be swimming in a sea of lost and abused punctuation marks.