Men Are Better Than Women…In Bed
Every time I piss a woman off by being especially profound, and every time I get a piece of hate mail, it starts with the same thing.
“Good luck getting laid, you gay jerk!”
Why is it that women never threaten to take away a meaningful relationship or a decent conversation? Or at least a conversation that doesn’t need a new type of punctuation invented to be properly transcribed.
Apparently, when I say all women are whores, I’m a “gay jerk”, but when women say it (or imply it in this case), they’re making the world a better place through name calling.
As I recall from my Women’s Studies classes at Bar University, being a jerk does not earn you a seat at the virgin table. Women treat assholes like rockstars and community college professors. They’ll do anything except show up on time and keep their mouths shut to get a piece.
Secondly, men are better at having sex with women than women are at having sex with men. Say that ten times fast — while you’re having sex.
If I don’t get laid, it’s the woman’s loss, not mine. It’s all women’s loss. What the fuck else are they going to talk about during Ladies Night? Their hopes and dreams? Isn’t that the same thing?
In order to determine which gender is the better cocksperson, we would need to ask some sort of half-man, half-woman bisexual type of creature — like something out of a Greek tragedy. Well call me Awesomecles because I have determined the answer exactly except without any of the gay sex.
Men fuck for our own benefits. Women fuck to please men. If women knew anything about economics, other than that they don’t understand them for shit, they would realize that the best way to do anything is selfishly.
The Old Man in the Sea wasn’t written to satisfy a contractual obligation or a quota. Neither was Cat Scratch Fever. And the pyramids weren’t built for the fuck of it.
Remember that movie where Sean Connery says “You’re the man now dog”. The point of that movie is that greatness comes from a desire to please yourself. And that includes sex.
Bill Gates is one selfish motherfucker. He has an unquenchable thirst for philanthropy. He’s so fucking selfish that he’s thrown away billions of dollars just to satisfy this insane lust for giving.
All men fuck like we’re Bill Gates.
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March 31st, 2008 at 12:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8dc65dcb8a93d
A: That’s already been shot down,
B: A woman can’t make anything without a man.
and C: If you really believed that you’ld spend more time telling off the bitches instead of “blaming the victim”
March 31st, 2008 at 12:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
The crucial gene on the Y chromosome that determines maleness is now speculated to be able to NEVER dissapear.
Bahahahahhaha!!!!!!!
Your stuck with half of population containing dicks for all of eternity, or at least until some gentically-modified virus wipes us all out. Of course Commander Scott will survive such a holocaust as he resembles a now-extinct lower primate, so he may be immune to its effects. In this horrific scenario, he could repopulate the earth. AGGGHHHHH!!!
March 31st, 2008 at 2:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
Quite aside from which, with the artificial womb nearly completed we can get rid of women for good. Gamma males can do the shit liberals-arts jobs they presently occupy, flipping burgers and stacking books in Border’s for 2 cents an hour with their IQs of 97.
March 31st, 2008 at 2:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
OK,OK. If you whack-off all the women, just get me a good Sex-bot. Top of the line.
March 31st, 2008 at 4:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
We’re working on it.
March 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb81c468d8b2c
You know, the idea of a sex-bot is extremely appealing. I’d come home after a hard day of work and there she would be in the lingerie I told her to wear for me, cooking me dinner. And then after dinner she’d fuck my brains out–I wouldn’t even have to take a shower beforehand. And she wouldn’t complain–she’d be happy to do it for me everynight.
What we need is some independently wealthy guy to privately fund a business to create sex-bots.
I think if women just fucked us silly things like wars and violence would never occur. Certainly the pornography industry would disappear to a large degree. As much as I think the Commander is a nut-job, he’s right about one thing: women do force men into hierarchies because they control the amount of sex we get.
March 31st, 2008 at 8:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
Judas.. in the morning you will betray me.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 271ca43bb0c55
Maybe it’s the chimpanzee/Bonobo dichotomy. Also, sex may not reduce aggression, it may just leave the male too physically drained to actualize his aggression.
March 31st, 2008 at 11:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: e7550e5c3da7c
I’m not your fucking Judas. I don’t betray anybody. Settle the fuck down. But feel free to turn yourself to the proper authorities, on your own accord.
April 1st, 2008 at 12:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
http://youtube.com/watch?v=KgxwPU0W-Wg
April 1st, 2008 at 6:12 am - IP Man-Hash: a5f3a30b88dc6
@Doubt-thanks for the link. I think that woman should be thrown in jail.
April 1st, 2008 at 6:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
That cocksucker talks too much, she’s going to choke to death after a while like Desire.
April 1st, 2008 at 7:53 am - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
I’m sure you’ll provide that function as soon as the bounty is high enough.
After all, a traitor to truth but one who still can’t get laid has nothing to live for but enriching himself and using it for pointless distraction.
Muse - Map of the Problematique
April 7th, 2008 at 9:56 am - IP Man-Hash: d533a9b77a69d
Americans are really too charming.
My first question is: Are you a woman, Masterson?
Because you obviously enjoy writing, and as you state above “Writing is for ladies.”
Secondly, I do hope you are joking in some of your writing. It is not a problem that you find men “better” than woman, that is of course up to you. But to state that “all women are cheating whores” is rather childish (referring to another article). We all know that such a statement is untrue. It is of course possible, not to say likely, that most women you have been involved with has been cheating on you, but I guess that says more about you than them (though I do not defend people that cheat.)
I also noted that you wrote “the best way to do anything is selfishly”. I find it hard to agree with you in that. And using mr. Gates as an example is not too clever either. Mr. Gates has been kind enough to donate 100 m USD to Rotary’s work against polio, and as every upstanding member of should know, Rotary’s motto is “service above self”. And still it is one of the most powerful non-profit organisations in the world. How does this fit into your theory?
I would also suggest you not to write “fuck” and “motherfucker” in your articles, as this only makes you seem unintelligent. And believe me, you are not a person who can afford to seem any less intelligent than you already are.
April 7th, 2008 at 10:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 33e87235f7d35
Why is it always the ones who can’t spell check and sense sarcasm who keep talking about intelligence?
The smallest dog always barks the loudest, you know.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Better not elude to the Bible. Why go there unless you want something to come down on you like the wrath of God?
But disucssing things more like the ‘Wrath of Khan’ and nobody is gets judged or needs to swear a secret oath…and who wants to piss across Dick’s opportunties to unleash his style across some other issues besides females?
April 24th, 2008 at 9:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Michelle? (I assume Mike is your nickname) you’re looking at it wrong.
Everybody needs a place to speak their opinions-there are over 6 billion chances that yours won’t agree w/ someone else’s.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Michelle?
April 24th, 2008 at 9:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
I searched for phrasing marks in your rant, and found none.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Look, please stop! Not only do you sound a little manic, but you sound like a dude who’s freakin’ out ‘cus that’s all you’re being offered lately.
(I’m not trying to be a jerk)