Men, on the whole, are a race of funny mans. We joke and are good at joking because it makes us feel good. It makes everyone feel good. Laughing is for pleasure. But just like half of an Oreo cookie, there is a dark side to comedy: sarcasm.

Men wield sarcasm with extreme prejudice. Lining up a battalion of facts to decimate their opponents’ defenses and bullshit and then toppling their Saddam like statue of dignity with a cutting sarcastic remark.

Women do not.

Women handling sarcasm is like a viking charging into battle with a giant salami. Dumb and embarassing. [Read more]

Is it any surprise to no one that a woman’s second favorite past-time: having a wedding, is a huge waste of time and money?

It sure is.

Or it sure isn’t. I’m not really sure how to answer that question, so I’ll just say it. Weddings are a complete waste of time and money and are the stupidest thing that a new couple can do. [Read more]

I can count the number of great women public speakers throughout history on one hand. Zero.

Women make lousy public speakers. They can’t engage an audience and they certainly can’t keep the attention of an audience for longer than a few minutes without relying on some kind of charlatan, amateur sexual provocation. That much is no secret.

What is worth discussing is just how much better than women men are when it comes to being eloquent with the mouth — lots better. [Read more]

A twenty-four year mistake in America is going to be sorted out soon enough. The mistake? Appointing the first woman ever to the Supreme Court.

Justice Sandra Day O’Connor retired this Fourth of July weekend to parts and for reasons unknown.

For those of you not familiar with the processes and protocols of the United States legal system, the Supreme Court is a body of either twelve or nine people who draw the line between right and wrong. They say you can do this, you can’t do that. We all know that women are very good at the latter, but does that qualify one to be on the Supreme Court?

No. [Read more]

Remember when you were in fifth grade and someone had to take the class guinea pig or sugar glider home for Christmas break? Then remember when all the little girls raised their hands excitedly and your male teacher hummed and hawed and pretended that he didn’t see anything until some boy raised his hand? Then he let the boy take care of the guinea pig for those three weeks.

Your male teacher did that because a good way to start a new school year is not by having some bawling little girl drag a dead guinea pig in a shoebox casket into class.

That’s morbid and sick. [Read more]