Honorary Man of the Month

Women who fight their gender handicaps and achieve on par with a man — for one man-tastic moment.

Pain in My Man Ass

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Myths and Lores on August 19th, 2005

Women only have one skill. The ability to have children. And it’s not so much a skill as much as it is a defense mechanism againt doing work. Like how an octopus shoots ink all over the place when a shark is trying to bite it or stab it with something. That’s how women use their natural defense of cranking out children whenever a job is about to bite ahold of them.

It’s also like how Yakov Smirnoff would say shit about Russia about everything, even when it didn’t apply at all. Women are exactly like Yakov Smirnoff except their broken crutch is their ovaries.

Take promiscuous sex for example. Women will explain away their debauchery with some kind of mythical “biological, reproductive clock” that apparently starts dinging up like a slot machine when they hit twenty-six and spits Spanish Fly into the air like a crop duster. Where I come from we have a term for that. Horseshit.

Women also use the act of bearing a child (even the poseurs who haven’t actually gone through with it yet) to prove that they can take more pain than men — and that women have a higher pain tolerance than we do. Where I come from we have a term for that too. Super horseshit. Here’s the horse to prove it. [Read more]

The Rule of Thumb

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Myths and Lores on July 22nd, 2005

Men, I want to ask you something. How many times have you been slapped? By women I mean. How many times has a simple argument or perhaps a bawdy and hilarious joke been countered by a flagrant personal foul?

I myself have been slapped more times than I can count — upwards of eight. But in return, I have never hit anyone that didn’t deserve it.

And women never deserve it. [Read more]

The Booby Trap’s Cousin

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on June 15th, 2005

Well think again. Apparently, in addition to everything in the world, men are also better than women at not getting raped.

I know this is a sensitive subject, so I’m going to be treading more lightly than usual today. Here’s the gist of what’s going on:

All feminists are more retarded than you think and would rather women be raped in far away countries than miss a chance to flip way the fuck out and ride a high tide of feminist agenda when it’s totally inappropriate and when no one gives a shit. [Read more]