Honorary Man of the Month

Women who fight their gender handicaps and achieve on par with a man — for one man-tastic moment.

Women are a Drag, Man. Drag Man?

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, The MANifesto on April 16th, 2006

Tootsie was a pretty good movie. So was Mrs. Doubtfire and Ladybugs. What did these movies have in common? Men in drag.

I’ve seen women in drag before and they would not make a good movie. You can always tell a woman in drag because women are shitty actors and know dick about men and/or acting like them. Usually it’s a couple of “lesbians” out playing a round of Normie for the Night; pretending either one of them is getting a second look from anything with a pulse, but sometimes it’s just some extremely ugly chick.

The point is that I’ve always written off women in drag with a big red marker that says, ‘Fuck you’ — until I heard about Norah Vincent. [Read more]

Three Times the Lady, Once Times the Whore

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on March 10th, 2006

Myself and every other man on Earth have been saying it for years: alimony is fucked — and it’s extremely sexist.

But wait, what about this?

Did you know you’re liable for child support if you knock some slut up who lies about being on the pill and then doesn’t want to have an abortion because of some ridiculous shit like she suddenly has “principles” or because her mother didn’t abort her? Well you are liable for that cash cow and it’s the biggest croc of shit and injustice that could ever be imagined. [Read more]

Winning Gold Fucking Medals

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on February 20th, 2006

I love a good showboater. For those of you who don’t understand the term, showboating is a manly activity that involves behaving poorly during a victory — sometimes extremely poorly.

Hell most of sporting is based on showboating; and just like sporting itself, it takes a man to do it in anyway where it’s worth a shit.

Babe Ruth, Johnny Unitas — these are the champions of showboaters who call their monumental victories in advance with the man-confidence of legend. This week I honor Lindsey “Free Ride” Jacobellis as February’s MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. A woman so committed to the man-principle of showboating that she pissed away a gold fucking medal for it.

Congratulations Lindsey! [Read more]

Kate O’Beirne to Feminism: Fuck You!

Posted in Doings and Dealings, Honorary Man of the Month on January 9th, 2006

Not everyone in the world can be a Cary Grant or a Carey Elwis — a Jim Carrey? No, this finely tuned machine man invented and named Civilization takes gears of grit and wear as well. It takes men who look like they’ve been punched in the face or fell down a tree into a wheelbarrow full of pool balls. It takes ugly.

It happens, and when it does we men don’t care about it. We don’t care about it so much that women don’t care about it either. Look at Vigo Mortensen. Women love him and he’s ugly as shit.

It’s too bad no women can say the same. [Read more]

There’s No Such Thing As a Free Lunch

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on December 21st, 2005

Since I began the Honorary Man of the Month program (in which an ordinary woman can honorarily have the prestige usually saved for men for a fleeting moment), I have never thought that Carmen Electra would not be among the herd.

This month she has done a man-deed by outing prostitutes worldwide while participating in a charity auction. The auctioned prize: a date with Carmen Electra. The price: high enough so that Miss December “actually felt obligated to, like, sleep with the guy.”

Brava Madam. By the way, when I said prostitutes earlier, I was talking about all women. Every single woman on Earth is a prostitute. Most are just lousy at it. [Read more]

MIT’s New Fall Courses: Prostitution 101

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on November 30th, 2005

There was a time when women would stand on street corners for something other than prostitution. They would stand in droves and chant silly rhymes and riddles in the cold, burn undergarments — some would even hold signs proclaiming loudly to the world that women were “equal” or as “able” as a man.

It was a silly time to be sure, and it was also a much different time to today.

Women still stand on street corners for reasons other than prostitution (even though this particular one is dressed like one), but when they hold up signs they say things like:

“Need $$ for BOOB JOB.”

With that, please welcome November’s Honorary Man of the Month! [Read more]

I Got a Rock.

Posted in Anecdotal Evidence, Honorary Man of the Month on October 31st, 2005

Halloween is a holiday invented by men for the purposes of having a good time. There’s candy for the kids, general mayhem and hedonism for the adults and forgive and forget attitudes all around. You can do whatever you want on Halloween and no one cares. That’s the way it’s always been and as long as shrill, big nosed women are kept out of things that’s the way it will always be. Halloween is what Christmas was supposed to be before women forced stores to put the decorations on sale in September.

Women suck at Halloween. [Read more]

You’re Not Pregnant? I Don’t Believe You

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Science Says... on September 23rd, 2005

It’s impossible to know which gender is the fatter. Mostly because women are so good at concealing additional bulk.

No, of course I’m joking. That’s not true at all. A large woman trying to cover herself up always ends up looking like a couch with one of those old lady doilies thrown on the top. Is that a big fat couch over there? I didn’t notice because of that dainty little scrap of lace on top.

Loss of a dozen Man Points for using the word ‘dainty’ I know, but my point is that in the case of weight, there’s no way to know if men are better than women at not becoming fat, or if men are better than women at being fat. Let me explain. [Read more]