Honorary Man of the Month

Women who fight their gender handicaps and achieve on par with a man — for one man-tastic moment.

MADD Can Go And Fuck Themselves

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Science Says... on April 24th, 2007

There’s nothing I love sticking to women more than a big slab of science.

Well almost nothing.

It’s every man’s dream to lead everything he does with a joke about his penis. Don’t be afraid to dream. It’s your birthright as a man.

Also, don’t be afraid to drink. As a man, drinking is not as harmful to your body and brain as it is to a woman. I question whether it’s even harmful at all. [Read more]

The Greatest Mother in America

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on December 15th, 2006

Since when did women know how to take a stand?

They must be putting Man Juice in the water of Scottsdale, Arizona because a local woman is finally standing up for what she believes in. This woman is defiant like a man. She believes in shit like a man. And godammit she’s making a fuss about it. Manly.

Gardenia Zakrzewski Johansson is this December’s MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month, and her message is: all women need to be immediately stripped of their children. Way to go, Gardenia. [Read more]

Use It Or Lose It — No Women In College

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on September 22nd, 2006

It has long been said that university is wasted on women. Grade school is wasted on them as well because women don’t need adding or spelling to sit on the couch all day and shop for fucking chicken ten minutes before their hungry man gets home, but that’s another point.

Unless they have some kind of school I don’t know about where women learn how to look thin, pretty, and shut the fuck up, all school is wasted on women. Want to know who agrees with me? MenAreBetterThanWomen’s Honorary Man of the Month for October, Sharon Dijksma. Congratulations Miss Dijk. Congratulations on the prestigious award and congratulations on having something that looks like dick in your name. That’s manly. [Read more]

Yoga Is For Sluts

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Myths and Lores on September 20th, 2006

In my second installment of Dick’s Week of Honorary Men, I would like to honor Kristina Kireeva. As you can tell by her first name, she’s a woman, and that makes her the MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Honorary Man of the Month for October. Good work Miss October.

You can follow the links at the bottom of this article (and I highly recommend you do), but I will sum it up for you here. That’s part of the reason men are so good at everything by the way. If one man does the work, that man shares it with other men. Women keep secrets like they’re poisonous.

Like everything I say about women, I didn’t know how brilliant that was until I proof read it — which as a man I never do. [Read more]

Dick’s Week of Honorary Men: Part 1

Posted in Anecdotal Evidence, Honorary Man of the Month on September 18th, 2006

The MenAreBetterThanWomen.com Honorary Man of the Month for August in the year of 2006 is a site visitor by the name of Jenny who knows better than to be on this site in the first place and also sent me this:

I’m a women and I agree with you. In fact I’m using a dictionary right now while I’m typing and I’m also using a typing program with automatic spell check to type everything out before I paste it into that little message box thingy[sic] and click submit. That’s the extent of my computer knowledge right there. I don’t think I even learned a thing past 4th grade, I have three little tiny fluff dogs all wearing pink jewel crusted collars with matching leashes. I wear school girl uniforms on a daily basis and like to pretend I’m dumber then I really am. I spend much of my time watching reality T.V shoes[sic], soap operas, reading fashion magazines like Seventeen and running on my treadmill. I don’t have a job and I live with my parents. I guess though you could say my job is looking cuteā€¦I think the only thing I could ever do is cook, clean, and help populate the species. That’s what we were put on this earth to do right? And wasn’t there something in the bill of writes[sic] or the constitution about all men are equal or something or other?

Anyway, like my point is I totally agree with you.

I apologize for the length and generally incompetence of that text, but it’s better you hear that kind of comment from the horses mouth — no matter how mutton-fisted her hooves are. [Read more]

Women Hate Boobs

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on July 28th, 2006

Women hate everything and anything that’s great in the world.

Drinking? Women hate the fuck out of that. That’s why they invented bullshit campaigns about drinking and driving. Where’s the MADD coalition? Mothers Against Daughters Driving. That would save some goddamn lives.

How about fun? Yea, women hate that. They hate fun so much they haven’t even figured out how to pee standing up. Men do that when they’re like two years old.

It turns out women and their Great-Hate of anything and everything great extends (like most things women do) into the realm of complete absurdity. Women also hate boobs. [Read more]

Britney Spears: Not Just Jailbat Anymore (Apparently)

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, World News on June 28th, 2006

I’ve always wanted to name a phony whore MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. Little did I know today would be my lucky day! I guess I should have read my horoscope, but I’m not a woman so I don’t waste my time reading fucking self-fulfilling bullshit and if I did I would give a fuck about it.

Gentlemen and all the women here who behave like little girls and not ladies and are fucking forbidden from reading this anyway, may I present MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month for July:

Britney Spears. [Read more]

The Heart of Darkness Should Have Been Called Golden Girls

Posted in Honorary Man of the Month, Wallow in It on May 19th, 2006

This is going to be one of my most controversial articles to date. I say that because I don’t even agree with it. In fact I’m disgusted by it; but that’s the burden of being a man. Even if you don’t agree with the truth or if you’re disgusted by the big fat obligation you have to keep shucking out the dough for, you do it. You do it and you shut your mouth.

Or in some cases you open your mouth in order to speak the truth. And then sometimes your mouth is a metaphor for fingers, which can do writing unless your hands are cuffed behind your back for some reason. In that case, the mouth can still be just a mouth. You understand. [Read more]