Women Hate Boobs

Women hate everything and anything that’s great in the world.

Drinking? Women hate the fuck out of that. That’s why they invented bullshit campaigns about drinking and driving. Where’s the MADD coalition? Mothers Against Daughters Driving. That would save some goddamn lives.

How about fun? Yea, women hate that. They hate fun so much they haven’t even figured out how to pee standing up. Men do that when they’re like two years old.

It turns out women and their Great-Hate of anything and everything great extends (like most things women do) into the realm of complete absurdity. Women also hate boobs.

Babytalk magazine, a magazine on how to be a good mother, recently published an issue featuring a cover with a baby tastefully pretending to feed on an enormous breast.

‘What a tasteful side-boob,’ I said upon seeing it. You can see what women had to say about it by following the link at the end of this article. To sum it up for you, their responses run the gamut of stupidity from, “Do we really need a picture of another fucking boob,” to the reactionary “I shredded it. I fucking shredded it!”

Think that’s fucking stupid? That’s because you’re a man and when you’re reading or listening to comments from women your idiot alarm goes off like a Skiball machine full of fireworks. Everything women say is dumb — especially dumb when they’re giving their opinions. Here, check this doozy of dog shit out.

“I don’t want my son or husband to accidentally see a breast they didn’t want to see.”

What in the name of fuck? First of all, you don’t want your son or your husband to ever see a boob at all, and with that retarded attitude you might have just gotten your wish — might have, except for a little man-saver I like to call Jagermeister.

Secondly, why the fuck did I even read this article past the tasteful picture? I already knew it would be full of how much women hated their bodies and anything that reminds them of themselves naked. I’ll tell you why. I wanted to find one woman who wasn’t foul with self-loathing to name this July’s MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month.

I found her in Caly “Do What Feels Good” Wood, who had some shit to say about rights or not eating off of a toilet. I don’t remember and it doesn’t really matter. Congratulations, Miss July. The point is, Caly doesn’t hate her body and neither do men. We eat and drink until we think we’re going to throw up and as long as it’s entertaining, we will always take off our shirts. That’s why God didn’t put zippers on shirts when he made them; so they’d be easy to take off.

Seriously, what the fuck. You can’t take them with you.

Women Freaking Out About Side-Boob