It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s…Invisible to Women!

Men are better than women at looking up.

It’s true; and I don’t mean men are better than women at being optimistic or at setting pie in the sky goals for themselves. Everyone knows that already. If women were in charge of setting goals for themselves and humanity we’d all be sitting in trees flinging shit at each other.

Actually, it wouldn’t take much for today’s modern woman to resort to that. They already go to the bathroom in packs.

Women never look up. Whenever they walk under anything, they never tilt their heads and look up. Every single man in the world does.

A friend of mine I have been visiting for the last few days has an office with a balcony. Below this balcony is the main entrance to his building. You can stand on this balcony for hours at a time, drink a six-pack, and never ever see a woman look up. Men are exactly the opposite.

With this in mind, I find it even more absurd that women are allowed to drive. They don’t know anything the fuck that’s going on around them ever. How is that safe? People have children on the road. Do we blindfold children and kick them into traffic? No. It’s reckless. That whole rule about looking 12 seconds ahead or 12 minutes ahead while driving — whatever the fuck it is — men do it naturally. Women can’t even be trained to.

At first I thought it was something instinctual. You know, something from The Hunt. I’m sure all you men already know what I’m going to say. I thought it must be a part of our man-nature that is still an integral part of our daily lives. Women don’t look up. They also don’t look sideways or any which ways. And if they do, they certainly don’t see or remember any fucking thing. That’s a man’s business.

But then I thought, ‘when the fuck did humans ever hunt birds? There’s no meat on them.’ And, ‘were there giant pterodactyls zooming around and snatching primitive men off the Earth whilst they were out scrounging up their man meals? I doubt it.’ I checked some sources on this and found that no, there was not. So man-stinct is right out.

No, I’m afraid what we’re dealing with is plain old laziness. And also the Damsel in Distress syndrome. Women don’t like being resourceful or having resources. They prefer at all times to have anything and everything in the world done for them every step of the way. That’s why pimps are so successful. They don’t even cut a paycheck. It’s a woman’s dream job. Women don’t look up or sideways or any ways because it puts them at a disadvantage in life. If it was fashionable, they’d wear blindfolds.

Try it for yourself. Drive a woman somewhere she hasn’t been before; try a different supermarket. Pick one as close to your house as possible. It would be preferable to make only one turn to get there. When you’re done driving around the parking lot, have her drive home. I fucking promise she won’t be able to do it without getting a narration.

Don’t forget to buckle your safety belt as well. Women on the road are fucking retarded.