Women Ruined Mel Gibson

Who doesn’t love Mel Gibson? I disagree with anyone who doesn’t. Not on account of their opinion, but because they’re obviously lying.

Mel Gibson ushered in a new area and archetype of hard ass, ass kicking in movies. He’s the Nicolas Cage of the 80’s. It’s hard to believe, but a mullet would get you laughed at before Mel Gibson gave it his Man Stamp of Manproval. And does anyone besides me remember the action movie scene before Mel introduced us to Mad Max? It was awesome. Then Mel happened and all movies B.G. (Before Gibson) looked like shite.

That’s a never ending well of Man Points as I see it. Minus fifty for taking the mullet five years too far and plus a billion for showing us Sigourney Weaver is just a woman after all.

Mel may have said some inflammatory things recently. And first I want to say I would defend to the death his right to say them. Don’t forget about that.

Besides it’s all women’s fault.

The whole Sugar Tits thing I can say for sure no woman actually gives a fuck about. I’ve called policewomen Sugar Tits before and I don’t have the box office grossings of China. Not even close. You can look that stat up as well if you’re a man. Women can’t count commas.

Celebrities are people and they have eccentricities. Remember when OJ murdered his wife? I don’t remember everyone throwing a hissy fit about that.

That’s exactly my point. This isn’t a problem with Mel Gibson. This is a problem with women. Women want every man they meet to be their father. And they all want their fathers to be God. They can’t do shit or take care of shit on their own, so they need to believe they’re being literally watched over by an infallible, untouchable, invincible Superman who can wash away their woes and fuckups when they’re having whatever problems women have. I don’t know what the fuck those are. Probably having to figure out a map or decide what size Cappuccino would go best with their handbag.

In other words: stupid, non-problems.

And another thing. Women make no separation between opinions, thoughts, and actions. That’s why you’d get slapped by your significant other for checking out a girl jogging in the park. To a woman, that’s the same as raping her. It’s horrible and tasteless I know, but when are women any different.

So what happened here? Some billionaire got drunk and said a bunch of shit he otherwise wouldn’t. Big fucking news. That doesn’t happen every single day of the year. It’s just not every day that the drunken billionaire happens to be every woman in the English speaking world’s father. Then it’s a big deal.

It’s a big deal and it’s completely true. Women ruined Mel Gibson.