Mommy Rage?

I’m sure I’ve already covered how completely fucking stupid it is that women can walk around like slap-happy drunks; high-fiving in the face anyone who annoys them and then grinning about it like they’ve just done something good.

But what can you do about it?

The answer is: who fucking cares? Like most things women get away with, women slapping anyone isn’t a big deal. As a man, you’re likely to not even notice. Just like when a woman gets a promotion. Nothing changes because she never did anything in the first place and isn’t about to start.

Do you smack a dog who spills your drink with its tail? No. You just pour another drink and feel sorry for the stupid thing.

The problem, of course, is that it doesn’t end in slapping. Read the article at the bottom of this one. It details the acts of an American woman who threw a can of beans at a man in what I imagine to be a nice car who was minding his own business.

By minding his own business, I mean not frantically dodging jay-walking, piss-poor mothers who prance through invisible intersections with strollers like they’re on a scavenger hunt. This wild bitch actually stopped in the middle of the street after being completely missed by a car (probably by like thirty feet if I know anything about women), pulled cans of beans out of her shopping bag one by one, and threw them until she shattered the man’s rear window. I’m hoping she at least wheeled her baby to safety before beginning this Bean Crusade, but she obviously didn’t. She’s a woman and that’s the smart thing to do. Don’t hold your fucking breath.

She was dubbed Super Mom for this.

Apparently this is a new craze sweeping the world of women with lifelong passes to do nothing all day. It’s called Mommy Rage and here’s the kicker. It’s infectious!

Big fucking surprise. Remember when the Sex and the City DVD set came out? I don’t know if any of you men work in an office with lots of women, but when that fucking series came out on DVD, productivity went absolutely to shit for a solid week. Not that those secretaries were doing anything anyway (monkeys can type) it was just that the deluge of woman bullshit plugged every metaphorical pipe in the fucking building. It was the Olympics — The Olympics of Backstabbing.

Women infect each other with hate like they’re rats with small pox. They’re like magnets for it. Don’t take my word though. Here’s an expert’s opinion from the article.

“Once upon a time, becoming a mother was something you did alone, in your home…Then came the internet…a place where a lot of New York mothers dump their most toxic feelings.” – An Expert

Women should stay the fuck off the internet first of all. Women can’t understand shit when you say it right to their face. That’s when you can snap your fingers and poke the air to stress parts that are important like “1:00 PM” and “the blue fucking shirt. Not the white one.” When it comes to text women are completely fucked.

Women should also be kept off the internet because they behave like they’re stuck in a B teen movie. Everyone’s got a stupid idea and they’re all trying like hell to get the others to do theirs first. As though somehow if the entire world went completely fucking insane and started throwing bean cans at one other instead of talking things out or using depth perception, the playing field would be even.

The last thing mothers need is support. What they need is to shut the fuck up.

The Bean Crusader!