All Women Hate Guns
Guns are awesome. In fact, a gun is the manliest thing there is.
I take that back. The manliest thing there is would be a hot car or some kind of super motorcycle with guns attached to it. In that case, it’s a case of chicken and egg. Is the car manlier because of the guns or are the guns manlier because of the car? What about a tank? Where does it play into this manly game?
Wherever the fuck it wants. It’s a tank.
All men like guns and think they’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to man-humanity. Did you know that without guns 99% of people would be slaves? Guns ended slavery and that’s 100% true.
Before the invention of the gun, mankind lived in a feudal society. I have seen the film Braveheart many times and I become more and more certain each time I see it that feudal life was fucked. You can thank guns for the end of that dicketry.
As a man, it is only natural you thank things for what they’ve done for you. If you were a woman, you would have to figure out some way to have sex with the invention of the gun. That’s the only way women show their gratitude: lackluster sex.
Oh wait, I’m just kidding because all women hate guns and would never thank them.
Like most everything that’s good for them, women hate guns. It could be because they’re loud. Women hate loud things don’t they? Things like fun parties, and football games, and little yappy, worthless dogs that give them an excuse to refer to themselves as “mommy” about six years too soon. No, that can’t be it. Maybe women hate guns because they’re complicated — guns mind you. Not women. Women are as simple broken vending machines. No matter what you put into them, you don’t get anything you want.
Guns have moving parts and require care-taking. Recently, I heard a female comedian say vaginas are complicated though, so that’s probably not the reason. I could hear her saying it crystal clear too because no one was laughing.
The truth is that women enjoy being in danger. That’s why they hate guns. Guns are safe so women hate them. It’s logic. Without guns you, me, and everyone in the world would be on constant alert for the Hun Alarm that would jolt us out of bed in the middle of the night and let us eloquently know our whole town was about to get burned to the goddamn ground.
Thank guns and thank your man military that doesn’t happen.
That’s also why women love safety belts so much. Safety belts are dangerous just like guns aren’t. They make women drive like chimpanzees on speed with absolutely no regard for anyone’s personal safety. Have you ever seen a woman drive without a safety belt? No. And you’ve never seen a woman drive worth a shit.
I rest my case.
Related Articles:
January 29th, 2008 at 10:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
One thing these Trolls O’ Whine ARE good for?
Turning food into shit. And they can obviously BARELY do that (since they are fat, you know they are fucked up inside).
Since they are walking trash compactors, I invite them all to Dicks’ house so he can feed them the Hot Dog, and let them vacuum the floor with their faces……….since all they do is Suck or Blow.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:31 pm - IP Man-Hash: 970dbae5e7d54
women are afraid of guns. there are women who have been taught to handle a gun, shoot a gun and care for a gun. they were taught by a man.
women are afraid of EVERYTHING. if women have their way they will regulate the hell out of EVERYTHING and recall anything they regulate but is still unsafe. life is unsafe. accidents happen. life is painful. every bad thing cannot be prevented with legislation and regulation.
i’m afraid of guns because i’ve never held one before.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: 970dbae5e7d54
women used to have men to protect them. now women say i can protect myself but no one gets to have a gun, otherwise i can’t really protect myself very well.
women want society to be SO safe that they can walk around the streets at night without a threat or fear. it’s never going to happen and it’s not because of men. men understood the dangers of the world and the fact it would never be perfect and stepped up and protected their women and children and always tried to make things better. now women can’t appreciate it and don’t see value in it, they take it for granted. hillary clinton will be their new daddy if they get their way.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:59 pm - IP Man-Hash: 83840612cda14
Sooo… What you are basically saying sounds to me a little bit like this kind of mindset:
There will always be hungry children in the world who do not get enough food, so why bother trying to make things better, and aim for no more hungry children in the world?
There will always be rapists who hurt people, so why try to prevent them from hurting those people?
Aiming for a safe place is ALWAYS a good goal, even though it may never happen. Men (and women) shouldnt make things like that better just because the oppisite sex said so, they should do it because it is the right thing to do.
February 5th, 2008 at 8:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
Good point, Proud.
And remember that a so-called “safe” place is generally patrolled……..by soldiers. A strong presence of someone, police, soldiers, whatever may do the job, but don’t forget that by doing that, you are fencing yourself in.
People are bad about letting someone else like the Govt. do the work so they won’t have to, and to pay for it, they give up quite a bit of power to get it done.
Don’t every look to someone else to get the job done. Look to yourself and happen to pack a snub-nosed .50 cal, THAT will make it safe enough.
When you trust someone else with your rights, you always regret it.
When you won’t do it yourself, it won’t get done.
February 5th, 2008 at 10:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 094d0f0404c7b
That’s fucking brilliant.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 31debd98bdcb9
“Guns are safe.”
Hahahahahahaha.
April 6th, 2008 at 11:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3c3ca5120d047
Man this guy is a fucking pathetic fagot. Horrible, go stick your shotgun up your ass and blow yourself away
April 6th, 2008 at 11:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3c3ca5120d047
Fucking American fagot, I bet you was raped under the shower by your army friends while you were doing service and now you are writing away your traumas, you cannot be called a man!!!!
April 7th, 2008 at 6:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 50879138ccfee
I looooove guns and i have one, uhm so this is bulllll******* btw i have boobs.
April 7th, 2008 at 6:13 am - IP Man-Hash: c67b4aff20eb6
I prefer the hands on approach and whip a girl in to shape. Maybe using a bullwhip or a quirt. And if that doesn’t help a few swings with a claymore usually do the trick.
Rock on!
April 7th, 2008 at 12:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 52aa3c71945b4
hey man great site my missus loves gones we regulerly field strip them just for kicks i think shes a rare breed lol kinda like sarah conner in terminater…..perfect
April 11th, 2008 at 9:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 56c3707592430
April 11th, 2008 at 9:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 56c3707592430
Demolition Man
go watch that movie you pathetic girly faggot
April 12th, 2008 at 12:35 am - IP Man-Hash: 09b607c8c4b90
Fixed.
April 15th, 2008 at 6:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 54842f8df3d94
Well I’m a chick and I carry a fucking gun. I learned how to shoot when I was nine. I also have knives. And I know plenty of chicks who do. So don’t fucking generalize and base your facts on movies like “Braveheart” because you only make yourself look like an idiot.
April 24th, 2008 at 10:51 am - IP Man-Hash: 11dc703261f67
I’ve seen a women driving without safety belt, I’ve drove without safety belt and I’m a woman!! I love guns, I love shooting and I’m good at it and I’m still a woman! How can u say things like that?? It’ bullshit!! Maybe some women hate guns and uses safety belt everytime they drive but not everyone!!
April 25th, 2008 at 12:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7f4aa80b49460
Um, I’m a woman, and I don’t hate guns…..I was in the army, and its kinda hard to be in the army if you hate guns….they make you sleep with it for Christ’s sake. I lugged my rifle around with me everywhere, and if I didn’t have a rifle then I had a pistol, or a machine gun. My favourite part of training was going to the range…..so women don’t hate guns…
May 5th, 2008 at 10:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 75ecb979d1f3c
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you’ve told her twice already.
May 10th, 2008 at 9:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
Women have this idea that we’re all safer if we’re helpless. Yeah! When Joe High-On-Crack is breaking through your locked bedroom door to kill you, rape your kids, and steal your valuables to sell for that ever-important next hit of crack, you’ll be real relieved to have a cop on the phone.
A person would think that a woman would give a shit about protecting her family. Oh no! Just lock the door and hope for the best.