All Women Hate Guns
Guns are awesome. In fact, a gun is the manliest thing there is.
I take that back. The manliest thing there is would be a hot car or some kind of super motorcycle with guns attached to it. In that case, it’s a case of chicken and egg. Is the car manlier because of the guns or are the guns manlier because of the car? What about a tank? Where does it play into this manly game?
Wherever the fuck it wants. It’s a tank.
All men like guns and think they’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to man-humanity. Did you know that without guns 99% of people would be slaves? Guns ended slavery and that’s 100% true.
Before the invention of the gun, mankind lived in a feudal society. I have seen the film Braveheart many times and I become more and more certain each time I see it that feudal life was fucked. You can thank guns for the end of that dicketry.
As a man, it is only natural you thank things for what they’ve done for you. If you were a woman, you would have to figure out some way to have sex with the invention of the gun. That’s the only way women show their gratitude: lackluster sex.
Oh wait, I’m just kidding because all women hate guns and would never thank them.
Like most everything that’s good for them, women hate guns. It could be because they’re loud. Women hate loud things don’t they? Things like fun parties, and football games, and little yappy, worthless dogs that give them an excuse to refer to themselves as “mommy” about six years too soon. No, that can’t be it. Maybe women hate guns because they’re complicated — guns mind you. Not women. Women are as simple broken vending machines. No matter what you put into them, you don’t get anything you want.
Guns have moving parts and require care-taking. Recently, I heard a female comedian say vaginas are complicated though, so that’s probably not the reason. I could hear her saying it crystal clear too because no one was laughing.
The truth is that women enjoy being in danger. That’s why they hate guns. Guns are safe so women hate them. It’s logic. Without guns you, me, and everyone in the world would be on constant alert for the Hun Alarm that would jolt us out of bed in the middle of the night and let us eloquently know our whole town was about to get burned to the goddamn ground.
Thank guns and thank your man military that doesn’t happen.
That’s also why women love safety belts so much. Safety belts are dangerous just like guns aren’t. They make women drive like chimpanzees on speed with absolutely no regard for anyone’s personal safety. Have you ever seen a woman drive without a safety belt? No. And you’ve never seen a woman drive worth a shit.
I rest my case.
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November 6th, 2006 at 1:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
All in the eye of the behooven, my trotting friend.
- Rage Against The Machine - Sleep Now In The Fire
November 6th, 2006 at 7:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: 84f7c5452f5d2
POLITIK people.. long posts for the comments section…
-Strength and Honor-
November 18th, 2006 at 10:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I have now seen the error of my belief.
I stand corrected. The manliest thing ever built by man’s hands. Except for the proud BattleShip Yamato.
Let’s then amend to ‘manliest thing ever built by man’s hands, that don’t float’.
- Selena - Nu Ma Uita Undeva
November 18th, 2006 at 2:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 85eb76704e398
That’s certainly impressive. But in that vein, I’m inclined to say if we’re looking at that vein, that this is an even manlier thing, for Richard Trevithick simply didn’t know what was possible and what wasn’t.
And that’s manly. Doing what everyone else thinks is impossible.
-wolfe
April 3rd, 2007 at 9:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2d92761d9c2f5
No really, My sister is a cop and she loves guns… = =
April 4th, 2007 at 9:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 35a3bf5e9bc19
HOW DID I MISS THIS ARTICLE??!! GUNS ARE THE HEAVIEST AND MANLIEST THING!!
Especially railguns.
April 30th, 2007 at 2:10 am - IP Man-Hash: e7adaccd90af8
Women hate guns because it reminds them of big hard dicks!
I prefer knives (I’m a primitive man) so I can *thrust* my weapon into my victim!
April 30th, 2007 at 2:28 am - IP Man-Hash: d4fa8b220332f
I like the katana. Clean and quick.
June 17th, 2007 at 9:40 am - IP Man-Hash: bf69147d1fc98
I’m not exactly sure which countries guns are illeagle in but here in the U.S.of A. though it’s getting tougher, it is still leagle.
I noticed that some of the posters are from the UK (which is really cool because I see that women are the same accross the pond too, besides, I love your accents).
As for guns, I love em. I have many and have many years experience with them thanks to Uncle Sam.
Women with guns makes about as much sense as a toddler driving a cadillac. Too irrational, no self control and oooooh that PMS! a recipe for disaster.
Proof is in the pudding though, although there are plenty of women shooters, I can’t recall ever seeing one female gun smith (a gun professional repair person-to the unindoctrinated).
I will give a plug now for the manliest of manly branches of our military: The “Navy Seabees” (Navy engineers, much like the army Corps of Engineers, except we shoot guns and drink lots of beer, sometimes not in that order).
I used to be one during my tour of duty. Our motto was “we build, We fight”
I drove big earthmoving equipment and got to shoot machine guns, It’s all there, building, shooting, and drinking.
What could be more fun or manley??
Off the point a little bit.
Simply stated, women and guns don’t mix.
There is a commonality here though, “women hate guns” and “we hate women with guns”.
Nuff said.
-banzai
July 14th, 2007 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: f80c5e3204b9b
One big mistake in the following sentence-
“All men like guns and think they’re the greatest thing that has ever happened to man-humanity.”
No not all men like guns.
Don’t tell me you have forgotten about the nancy boy slack jawed mouth breathers called liberals. You know the ones that take refuge in the over-sized skirts of the democratic party. They don’t like guns they hate them. Why? Because the represent FREEDOM.
If you free and armed how in the world are they going to tell you how to live?
They know what’s best just ask their daddy Hillery.
Or have you just out smarted me because they aren’t really men?
July 14th, 2007 at 4:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
Manginas Are My Hero
-Dick
September 23rd, 2007 at 1:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
Haha…you may hate this Dick…but oh well. I Love Guns.
I win…
Maroon 5: Wake Up Call
September 26th, 2007 at 3:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8e569e071584e
Almost like thrusting into a soft, unyielding ass, no? lol
November 10th, 2007 at 10:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9484e56d43218
that is bull, i love guns. my husband bought me one not long ago, and we go shooting all of the time. but then again, im one of the guys not your average female i guess..
November 10th, 2007 at 10:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9484e56d43218
oh and i can drive very well as a matter of a fact, so fuck off you faggots.. hahahahaha
November 10th, 2007 at 11:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 46bb66504b900
You also type like a child. Grow up.
November 13th, 2007 at 12:53 am - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
Again, wrong. Wolfe and I have disagreed quite virulently about black people’s contribution to our society, as well as the use and necessity of derogatory linguistics. And I still have some respect for Wolfe.
You on the other hand, spew a truckload of verbal garbage that even Bob the Builder couldn’t haul. And for that enormous crossword puzzle of a posting you say absolutely nothing of value. And nobody likes or understands those little inside jokes you constantly write to yourself at the bottom of all your postings. The fact that you send yourself secret messages on a public forum is pretty disturbing.
And your English sucks. I hope to god it’s not your first language.
November 18th, 2007 at 2:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 540f95f4d5a0c
December 24th, 2007 at 1:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: fc075dd1a3fff
I love gunownership! I am from the South, and women there are often portrayed sitting on the front porch cocking a rifle. While it may be a little exaggerated, not all women hate guns, that is one of the most common ways they murder people. Me, though, I prefer a beating to death, myself.
December 25th, 2007 at 12:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 44e6eae08303f
I got a freind who just retired from the seabies.. Shhh… the manliest of all branches is the Seals