Leave a Message After the Beep…Not a Fucking Monologue
Like most things, an answering machine is one thing and not a lot of other things. Just like how a screwdriver is a driver for screws and not a pry-er of shit out of other shit. Or how a car is not a chair; get the fuck off of it. Women are brilliant innovators in that way. They can take something with one obvious purpose and use it for a stupid and wrong one.
An answering machine is one thing: a machine to take your messages while you are away on man business. It isn’t a personal mechanical priest or therapist. Women must think it is though with their ten minute fucking messages that have no point.
Men are so great and so much better than women, sometimes the nuances of how fucking perfect we are slip through the cracks. Take leaving a message. Men leave messages like they’re speaking in Spanish — which they are also better than women at. In Spanish, if a question is a question, it starts with a question mark to let you know. If you go to Mexico, you will find this out for yourself.
“Call me back. This is Bill,” or “I need a ride to my car. This is Bill, again.”
That’s how it’s done correctly. Men put the purpose of the message right up front like they’re speaking Spanish. Women leave answering machine messages as though they are speaking Retarded, in which every sentence starts with ‘um’ or ‘so’ or a five second period of fucking silence while they change hands to pay for some bullshit. Fuck the people who are waiting in line!
If women are better than men at anything, it’s wasting as much and as many people’s time as possible through their fuck-upery. They’re not though. A man invented Sudoku.
Here’s a question. Does any woman actually know the rules to Sudoku? That is a man only question, like usual. If you’re a woman and you want to answer it, you can go fuck yourself. I’ve picked up three different women’s Sudoku books and I was not surprised to find the same thing in each: errors; errors every which way and not one puzzle completed. Here’s an FAQ for women playing Sudoku.
Dick’s Sudoku FAQ for Women:
Q: How many nine’s in a column count as more than one nine?
A: How many up’s count as a Shut the Fuck Up?
Here’s another question. Does any cell phone company offer a way to refuse all voice mails from women? No. That would save too many ten-minute, billable nougats of me deciphering what in the fuck a woman is talking about in my voice mail. Do I need to pick anyone up? Do I need to call anyone back? Is this urgent?
Of course it’s not urgent. Women never have anything urgent to talk about until they’re pregnant — and then the only thing urgent is you and your new drinking problem. Contragulations! It’s a neurotic mess — and also a baby of some kind!
Another one of the things an answering machine is not is an amateurish playground into the world of being a shitty disc jockey. If you have music on your answering machine, you are a slut. If you’re leaving a message on one, congratulations, you’re about to get laid.
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January 20th, 2007 at 9:30 am - IP Man-Hash: b9b7e9fe9772b
All these little girls know how to do is argue and they do that poorly.
….Yeah um you really can’t call ‘Womand hear me roar, pricks’s words arguements. More like insults.
January 20th, 2007 at 10:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: c7a298151bcdd
All these little girls know how to do is argue and they do that poorly.
Most women are simply a bunch of miserable parasites.
Poor Billy. Billy is dumb. Billy is a failure who can’t get laid. Billy’s Mommy wished she put a bullet or three in his head. Billy’s father wouldn’t have stopped her. ROFLOL
Well, if saying women are parasites means you can get your tiny little pecker up and jack off to your latest issue of “Pedophile Weekly” then by all means, loser…………
Gee Billy what scares women away from you? Your repulsively ugly face, your fat, smelly body, or the fact you are probably some anti-social, abuser loser with a prison record? Fill us in, shithead? LOL
January 21st, 2007 at 12:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 819b52dfd1c0c
It’s obvious this fat cow dont have a life.
January 22nd, 2007 at 2:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0699a14e97efd
This is one reason why I oppose much of Feminism so much. Much of it is like this woman. Insulting, mediocre and rabidly hateful. Much of their policy is derived from the hatred of Men. They seek to judge others when they cannot even control themselves. Whats worse is women like that are given money for it, because these “women” are seen to represent all women. How saddening that an immature child can get federal monies, while deserving Men and Fathers are left out of their familys due to a few rabid Misandrists.
What really saddens me is women like “Women hear me roar” are applauded for their hatred. All the while not understanding why people don’t really want to associate with her. Like most women she’s all bark, no bite.
-Strength and Honor-
January 22nd, 2007 at 3:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
And all bitch too.
January 22nd, 2007 at 8:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 734def3a21a2c
“What really saddens me is women like “Women hear me roarâ€? are applauded for their hatred. All the while not understanding why people don’t really want to associate with her. Like most women she’s all bark, no bite.”
Their hatred only fuels the fires of ours.
Soon a generation full of men raised by backstabbing whore misandrists will hate. And their bite will match their bark.
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: 926a1904cecf2
i just dont get why women think they’re the funniest things in the world when they just call guys ugly or fat or something. Seriously, i kicked my way out of the womb with funnier jokes than that.
What makes Dick such a great point prover? facts, humor, and vulgar language. If you’re missing any of the 3… your point is lost.
the end.
May 4th, 2007 at 4:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4136c1534ed3c
Ditto!
June 14th, 2007 at 11:45 am - IP Man-Hash: b166796810fe7
hi all.
June 14th, 2007 at 12:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 83b7e402ade4c
Cats think everybody else is cats.
Meaning… what insults and hurts them the most.. they project outwards.
Wanna see a female flip the fuck out?.. point to a random woman in public and say “You are ugly”
They will have to restrain her from trying to claw your eyes out.
Where as if you do the same to a man he most likely will just laugh and tell you to go fuck yerself and keep walking.. he’s got bigger stuff to do than stop and defend himself to a stranger.
August 10th, 2007 at 6:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 56cd7d82603b9
…please leave a message after the beep. **BEEP**
Hi, assholes of the menarebetterthanwomen.com club. It’s J. I hope you all rot in hell. Love ya!
–end message
August 10th, 2007 at 7:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b0b9a4016949
aw… looks like what was predicted. J just couldn’t handle a little abuse. Sorry J, no coming to my house and getting dominated. LMFAO! Well it was fun while it lasted (as usual less than 10 minutes for you women) but if you really want asshole I’m sure you’ll find the other 5-6 comments and rebuttals I left for you in all forums most intriguing.
August 10th, 2007 at 8:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: f32d1ac5471cf
J, your entire purpose of your messages is to do what? Be like Female? Attention whoring eh?
August 13th, 2007 at 7:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 84f51b832bd91
Being an asshole is all party of my manly essence.
P.S. Also note how women still love assholes.
P.S.S. The female anus is the new vagina!
P.S.S.S I’m gonna fuck a woman right in her shit pussy!
September 22nd, 2007 at 3:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3f1c500bb544
awww but dick! ten minute messages are fun to leave on answering machines :D especially when im bored
November 4th, 2007 at 8:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
From a woman: ***Poor Billy. Billy is dumb. Billy is a failure who can’t get laid. Billy’s Mommy wished she put a bullet or three in his head. Billy’s father wouldn’t have stopped her. ROFLOL***
Typical woman. Her idea of success is getting laid. There is no more womanly thing that could be said! Man, you just shot yourself in the foot with that one.
What’s even funnier, is when you say” ROFLOL”. It’s actually, RO “T” FLOL. You too incompetent to use proper words, so you use abbreviations. And when you DO use abbreviations, you STILL manages to fuck them up somehow.
Stay in school sweetheart.
***Well, if saying women are parasites means you can get your tiny little pecker up and jack off to your latest issue of “Pedophile Weekly” then by all means, loser.***
Again, typical woman crap. She doesn’t try to explain WHY woman AREN’T parasites. All she knows is her emotion at the statement. And since she can’t think beyond her emotions, all she can do is reply with a half-assed insult.
***Gee Billy what scares women away from you? Your repulsively ugly face, your fat, smelly body, or the fact you are probably some anti-social, abuser loser with a prison record? Fill us in, shithead? LOL***
What makes you think that Billy scares away women? If anything, his attitude probably gets him laid constantly, not that sex is any measure of a successful human. Unless that human is a woman. Face it, you woman like to feel, and be treated, like shit. That’s why you pick bad boys who cheat on you, and then cry about it for years afterwards to anyone who will listen. That’s also why you will fuck around on the one nice guy you DO find, and drive him crazy with your bullshit until he leaves you.
November 4th, 2007 at 8:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 904f55006453f
God damn, excuse the myriad of fucking typo’s above. I wouldn’t want you guys to mistake me for a woman. I apologize.
December 17th, 2007 at 7:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: e24370fe2bb3c
This is a random response that I want to say after reading this and comparing it to the episode with Dick that I recorded.
On this he speaks much more vulgar, cursing and using any insult he can come across, though on Dr.Phil, he didn’t use one curse word adressing women while being filmed, he may of off film, but certaintly not to the world without hiding behind his computer.
The harshest word he used while being there was vulgar. He would rathar say the harsh things behind his computer where no one can see his face.
I realize that he had no intention of changing, and was only there to merchandize, which I don’t care frankly because I do not particurally like Dr.Phil. But if he didn’t care about what they thought, and he still thought that women are inferior and should be spoken to as such, then why did he not use the personality that seems to only appear on this site.
Also, chauvinism is prejudice in itself.
January 26th, 2008 at 6:13 am - IP Man-Hash: e3b96eea9e962
Unlike women who arent able to control what they say and then consider themselves to be ‘confident and outspoken’, men actually have the ability to work out in a split second in their heads the consequences of what they’re about to say and make adjustments accordingly.
Thats how women like you ever get laid. A guy looks into your eyes and thinks to himself ‘how will the probability of me getting you in the sack be affected if I tell you what a stupid whore you are?’ and the words ‘you’re such a beautiful and interesting person’ come out. Without you knowing it he’s done you a huge favour. He hasnt hurt your feelings, he’s stoked your fragile female ego and upped your chances of getting your frigid ass getting some.
Dicks views are on the internet for everyone to read and the guy then appeared on national television and was prepared to back his views.
And you think thats hiding behind a computer?
March 18th, 2008 at 9:42 am - IP Man-Hash: a46ebe44e86ce
WHMR is a fat ugly cunt with a sense of entitlement. WHMR has an IQ of 90. WHMR has never known a man, or had an orgasm. WHMR will be alone at 50. WHMR has a liberal arts degree that means nothing. WHMR is facing certain genetic extinction, lol.