Leave a Message After the Beep…Not a Fucking Monologue
Like most things, an answering machine is one thing and not a lot of other things. Just like how a screwdriver is a driver for screws and not a pry-er of shit out of other shit. Or how a car is not a chair; get the fuck off of it. Women are brilliant innovators in that way. They can take something with one obvious purpose and use it for a stupid and wrong one.
An answering machine is one thing: a machine to take your messages while you are away on man business. It isn’t a personal mechanical priest or therapist. Women must think it is though with their ten minute fucking messages that have no point.
Men are so great and so much better than women, sometimes the nuances of how fucking perfect we are slip through the cracks. Take leaving a message. Men leave messages like they’re speaking in Spanish — which they are also better than women at. In Spanish, if a question is a question, it starts with a question mark to let you know. If you go to Mexico, you will find this out for yourself.
“Call me back. This is Bill,” or “I need a ride to my car. This is Bill, again.”
That’s how it’s done correctly. Men put the purpose of the message right up front like they’re speaking Spanish. Women leave answering machine messages as though they are speaking Retarded, in which every sentence starts with ‘um’ or ‘so’ or a five second period of fucking silence while they change hands to pay for some bullshit. Fuck the people who are waiting in line!
If women are better than men at anything, it’s wasting as much and as many people’s time as possible through their fuck-upery. They’re not though. A man invented Sudoku.
Here’s a question. Does any woman actually know the rules to Sudoku? That is a man only question, like usual. If you’re a woman and you want to answer it, you can go fuck yourself. I’ve picked up three different women’s Sudoku books and I was not surprised to find the same thing in each: errors; errors every which way and not one puzzle completed. Here’s an FAQ for women playing Sudoku.
Dick’s Sudoku FAQ for Women:
Q: How many nine’s in a column count as more than one nine?
A: How many up’s count as a Shut the Fuck Up?
Here’s another question. Does any cell phone company offer a way to refuse all voice mails from women? No. That would save too many ten-minute, billable nougats of me deciphering what in the fuck a woman is talking about in my voice mail. Do I need to pick anyone up? Do I need to call anyone back? Is this urgent?
Of course it’s not urgent. Women never have anything urgent to talk about until they’re pregnant — and then the only thing urgent is you and your new drinking problem. Contragulations! It’s a neurotic mess — and also a baby of some kind!
Another one of the things an answering machine is not is an amateurish playground into the world of being a shitty disc jockey. If you have music on your answering machine, you are a slut. If you’re leaving a message on one, congratulations, you’re about to get laid.
Related Articles:
Pages: [4] 3 2 1 » Show All
leavenworth federal prison how long must a presidential candidate live in the us wsyx and columbus savings withdrawal tables spanktrovision
Men need to be preached to, and read the long ass bible, yet they are the first to criticise speech. The less somebody says the less brain they use, the less they analyze what they say…
Religion has nothing to do with it, Religion is merely story telling for the purpose of teaching the person listing morals and values. Not all men feel they need a guiding structure to their existences though so alot such as me are atheist.
When telling a story you unravel a tapestry of new thoughts and ways of thinking that enlighten the consumer to whole new worlds, As i am attempting to do here and now. If this were a phone message i would simply say: You are a fool and your argument is ridicules.
I explain what i am saying because i am talking to a female. And if i do not explicitly say WHY you are foolish you wont fucking understand.
What a Mantastic world we would have if everyone could understand more important principles with a sentence; but as we cannot we must still cling to the existence of long winded chattering (such as this reply).
To put it simply, Saying more does not by default mean you’re getting more points across. Unless the argument has weight of fact and point, you are just making noise and wasting mens time.
Men Are Better Then Women.
“I don’t wanna know your name, i just wanna bang bang bang!!
I don’t want relationship, I don’t want to meet your mom! I just wanna bang bang bang! Bang bang bang!!”
-Dico, CkY
lol, well then you’ll just LOVE me! XD
I was bored.
He IS proving his manliness honorably. Women’s definition of honor involves a sort of pay-for-sex system that makes them feel important to modern day society. Dick is being an honorable gentleman by exposing the truths, the tabooish truths that you all have.
Amen Dick, Amen.
♂dBoss iNc.
First of all, don’t associate everything that a woman does or likes with ’sex’. It’s not on their minds 24/7, unlike men. And second, how is it ‘the truths’ if it’s never been proven?? He’s talking about ALL women. And guess what!? Not ALL women are as bad as he labels them to be. So he really needs to stfu. And basically, so do you, my friend.
-highfives -
^_^
John_Petrucci,
That didn’t actually make any fucking sense. First of all, don’t begin with first of all if there isn’t going to be another demand. Because having just the solo demand negates the need to use the term.
Second, (see how I did that?) everything human beings do can be associated with sex. It is our primary function and therefore, in some way or another, affects everything we do. Especially women because getting fucked is the only time they can fulfill their whorish desires.
Third, there is no labeling of women as bad. Dick just presents the truth as he sees it. By the way, something doesn’t have to be proved to be true. Not in the sense that facts need proof to support them. Truth is a relative concept, meaning it is entirely based on perception. Not fact.
Fourth, if you dislike something on this site, then leave it. None of us show up at your website and rail about how you need to shut the fuck up.
Fifth, learn to use commas or leave them out of your sentences. I undserstand how difficult it can be for a cum disposal like yourself to learn things, but give it your best shot.
For men this is true in theory. For women, power is gained through her looks/body and the man’s illogical/instinctual drive for it. C’mon, do you really think Mort Zuckermann would have dated Gloria Steinem if she looked like Andrea Dworkin?
* mothers I meant to add under women
Haha. Leave a simple I hate women, not a book…. You talk also. Everybody communicates. Why did you honestly make your living off of an old age concept and go on every television show you could to prove this typical social concept? Why not make a living off your character and hard work? Why didn’t you just prove your manliness by achieving an honorable life path? Instead I just see sad men who obviously seem to be proving my points.I can understand some men who obviously have had bad experiences with women or bad women. You think we can’t handle this stereotype? Do you think feminism is a good idea? Actually it was designed to oppress women, not give them power. Power is achieved through an honorable life and a good character.
Why would you not make a living at something your good at? That’s what men do.
WHMR is a fat ugly cunt with a sense of entitlement. WHMR has an IQ of 90. WHMR has never known a man, or had an orgasm. WHMR will be alone at 50. WHMR has a liberal arts degree that means nothing. WHMR is facing certain genetic extinction, lol.
Unlike women who arent able to control what they say and then consider themselves to be ‘confident and outspoken’, men actually have the ability to work out in a split second in their heads the consequences of what they’re about to say and make adjustments accordingly.
Thats how women like you ever get laid. A guy looks into your eyes and thinks to himself ‘how will the probability of me getting you in the sack be affected if I tell you what a stupid whore you are?’ and the words ‘you’re such a beautiful and interesting person’ come out. Without you knowing it he’s done you a huge favour. He hasnt hurt your feelings, he’s stoked your fragile female ego and upped your chances of getting your frigid ass getting some.
Dicks views are on the internet for everyone to read and the guy then appeared on national television and was prepared to back his views.
And you think thats hiding behind a computer?
This is a random response that I want to say after reading this and comparing it to the episode with Dick that I recorded.
On this he speaks much more vulgar, cursing and using any insult he can come across, though on Dr.Phil, he didn’t use one curse word adressing women while being filmed, he may of off film, but certaintly not to the world without hiding behind his computer.
The harshest word he used while being there was vulgar. He would rathar say the harsh things behind his computer where no one can see his face.
I realize that he had no intention of changing, and was only there to merchandize, which I don’t care frankly because I do not particurally like Dr.Phil. But if he didn’t care about what they thought, and he still thought that women are inferior and should be spoken to as such, then why did he not use the personality that seems to only appear on this site.
Also, chauvinism is prejudice in itself.
God damn, excuse the myriad of fucking typo’s above. I wouldn’t want you guys to mistake me for a woman. I apologize.
Fuck you. I knew you were a guy all along. It was pretty obvious.
From a woman: ***Poor Billy. Billy is dumb. Billy is a failure who can’t get laid. Billy’s Mommy wished she put a bullet or three in his head. Billy’s father wouldn’t have stopped her. ROFLOL***
Typical woman. Her idea of success is getting laid. There is no more womanly thing that could be said! Man, you just shot yourself in the foot with that one.
What’s even funnier, is when you say” ROFLOL”. It’s actually, RO “T” FLOL. You too incompetent to use proper words, so you use abbreviations. And when you DO use abbreviations, you STILL manages to fuck them up somehow.
Stay in school sweetheart.
***Well, if saying women are parasites means you can get your tiny little pecker up and jack off to your latest issue of “Pedophile Weekly” then by all means, loser.***
Again, typical woman crap. She doesn’t try to explain WHY woman AREN’T parasites. All she knows is her emotion at the statement. And since she can’t think beyond her emotions, all she can do is reply with a half-assed insult.
***Gee Billy what scares women away from you? Your repulsively ugly face, your fat, smelly body, or the fact you are probably some anti-social, abuser loser with a prison record? Fill us in, shithead? LOL***
What makes you think that Billy scares away women? If anything, his attitude probably gets him laid constantly, not that sex is any measure of a successful human. Unless that human is a woman. Face it, you woman like to feel, and be treated, like shit. That’s why you pick bad boys who cheat on you, and then cry about it for years afterwards to anyone who will listen. That’s also why you will fuck around on the one nice guy you DO find, and drive him crazy with your bullshit until he leaves you.
awww but dick! ten minute messages are fun to leave on answering machines :D especially when im bored
Being an asshole is all party of my manly essence.
P.S. Also note how women still love assholes.
P.S.S. The female anus is the new vagina!
P.S.S.S I’m gonna fuck a woman right in her shit pussy!
J, your entire purpose of your messages is to do what? Be like Female? Attention whoring eh?
aw… looks like what was predicted. J just couldn’t handle a little abuse. Sorry J, no coming to my house and getting dominated. LMFAO! Well it was fun while it lasted (as usual less than 10 minutes for you women) but if you really want asshole I’m sure you’ll find the other 5-6 comments and rebuttals I left for you in all forums most intriguing.
…please leave a message after the beep. **BEEP**
Hi, assholes of the menarebetterthanwomen.com club. It’s J. I hope you all rot in hell. Love ya!
–end message
Cats think everybody else is cats.
Meaning… what insults and hurts them the most.. they project outwards.
Wanna see a female flip the fuck out?.. point to a random woman in public and say “You are ugly”
They will have to restrain her from trying to claw your eyes out.
Where as if you do the same to a man he most likely will just laugh and tell you to go fuck yerself and keep walking.. he’s got bigger stuff to do than stop and defend himself to a stranger.
hi all.