Leave a Message After the Beep…Not a Fucking Monologue

Like most things, an answering machine is one thing and not a lot of other things. Just like how a screwdriver is a driver for screws and not a pry-er of shit out of other shit. Or how a car is not a chair; get the fuck off of it. Women are brilliant innovators in that way. They can take something with one obvious purpose and use it for a stupid and wrong one.

An answering machine is one thing: a machine to take your messages while you are away on man business. It isn’t a personal mechanical priest or therapist. Women must think it is though with their ten minute fucking messages that have no point.

Men are so great and so much better than women, sometimes the nuances of how fucking perfect we are slip through the cracks. Take leaving a message. Men leave messages like they’re speaking in Spanish — which they are also better than women at. In Spanish, if a question is a question, it starts with a question mark to let you know. If you go to Mexico, you will find this out for yourself.

“Call me back. This is Bill,” or “I need a ride to my car. This is Bill, again.”

That’s how it’s done correctly. Men put the purpose of the message right up front like they’re speaking Spanish. Women leave answering machine messages as though they are speaking Retarded, in which every sentence starts with ‘um’ or ‘so’ or a five second period of fucking silence while they change hands to pay for some bullshit. Fuck the people who are waiting in line!

If women are better than men at anything, it’s wasting as much and as many people’s time as possible through their fuck-upery. They’re not though. A man invented Sudoku.

Here’s a question. Does any woman actually know the rules to Sudoku? That is a man only question, like usual. If you’re a woman and you want to answer it, you can go fuck yourself. I’ve picked up three different women’s Sudoku books and I was not surprised to find the same thing in each: errors; errors every which way and not one puzzle completed. Here’s an FAQ for women playing Sudoku.

Dick’s Sudoku FAQ for Women:

Q: How many nine’s in a column count as more than one nine?

A: How many up’s count as a Shut the Fuck Up?

Here’s another question. Does any cell phone company offer a way to refuse all voice mails from women? No. That would save too many ten-minute, billable nougats of me deciphering what in the fuck a woman is talking about in my voice mail. Do I need to pick anyone up? Do I need to call anyone back? Is this urgent?

Of course it’s not urgent. Women never have anything urgent to talk about until they’re pregnant — and then the only thing urgent is you and your new drinking problem. Contragulations! It’s a neurotic mess — and also a baby of some kind!

Another one of the things an answering machine is not is an amateurish playground into the world of being a shitty disc jockey. If you have music on your answering machine, you are a slut. If you’re leaving a message on one, congratulations, you’re about to get laid.

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59 Comments in 59 threads.»

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Comment by abaddon_fff
2007-01-22 14:20:50

This is one reason why I oppose much of Feminism so much. Much of it is like this woman. Insulting, mediocre and rabidly hateful. Much of their policy is derived from the hatred of Men. They seek to judge others when they cannot even control themselves. Whats worse is women like that are given money for it, because these “women” are seen to represent all women. How saddening that an immature child can get federal monies, while deserving Men and Fathers are left out of their familys due to a few rabid Misandrists.

What really saddens me is women like “Women hear me roar” are applauded for their hatred. All the while not understanding why people don’t really want to associate with her. Like most women she’s all bark, no bite.

-Strength and Honor-

 
Comment by Billy
2007-01-21 00:33:30

It’s obvious this fat cow dont have a life.

 
Comment by Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks
2007-01-20 22:46:27

Billy said:

Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

All these little girls know how to do is argue and they do that poorly.
Most women are simply a bunch of miserable parasites.

Poor Billy. Billy is dumb. Billy is a failure who can’t get laid. Billy’s Mommy wished she put a bullet or three in his head. Billy’s father wouldn’t have stopped her. ROFLOL

Well, if saying women are parasites means you can get your tiny little pecker up and jack off to your latest issue of “Pedophile Weekly” then by all means, loser…………
Gee Billy what scares women away from you? Your repulsively ugly face, your fat, smelly body, or the fact you are probably some anti-social, abuser loser with a prison record? Fill us in, shithead? LOL

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-01-20 09:30:08

Billy said:

Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

All these little girls know how to do is argue and they do that poorly.

….Yeah um you really can’t call ‘Womand hear me roar, pricks’s words arguements. More like insults.

 
Comment by Billy
2007-01-19 20:54:01

Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

All these little girls know how to do is argue and they do that poorly.
Most women are simply a bunch of miserable parasites.

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-01-19 18:40:16

Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

My mommy is an angel, yours was trash…..ha ha ha HA ha.

Well its what you were doing. If you cant take shit, dont give shit. Capish?

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-01-19 18:37:31

My mother was too busy walking the streets like you to beat me senseless, tramp.

Why are you here on a Friday, she-bitch? Should you not be out trolling the city bars for rich men, like all Happy and Successful whores?

 
Comment by sonyad
2007-01-19 18:33:38

Be very afraid. She^ only comes out at night.

- Maidens of War

 
Comment by Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks
2007-01-19 18:16:25

Necroswordsman said:

Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

It’s too bad you are uneducated, lazy, and lacking social skills. No wonder your Mom beat you senseless and nobody stepped in to care. ROFLOL

Yeah don’t mix our personal histories with your own

My mommy is an angel, yours was trash…..ha ha ha HA ha.

 
Comment by Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks
2007-01-19 18:15:12

son of the suns said:

“Morality is fluid, much like Time. It changes all the time. What is “moralâ€? “today, might be “immoralâ€? next year. ”

I disagree. Moral trends are for women who can’t fucking make a right decision ever. Hence they need to be braindead nodes in a social hivemind. The problem is the current social hivement is dominated by the memes of Boomer scum and the “do what feels good” suicide dive.

Men.. we know what’s right. It’s manstincts.

You’re borderline retarded, huh?

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-01-19 18:12:58

Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

It’s too bad you are uneducated, lazy, and lacking social skills. No wonder your Mom beat you senseless and nobody stepped in to care. ROFLOL

Yeah don’t mix our personal histories with your own

 
Comment by Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks
2007-01-19 18:10:31

son of the suns said:

The kingdoms of the Mid Ages had it right. If we had tougher and more dangerous penalties then sharing a cell with a buddy and getting fed till you’re a fat pig.. crime would plummit. One thing the Arabs have right.

It’s too bad you are uneducated, lazy, and lacking social skills. No wonder your Mom beat you senseless and nobody stepped in to care. ROFLOL

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-01-19 12:45:29

The kingdoms of the Mid Ages had it right. If we had tougher and more dangerous penalties then sharing a cell with a buddy and getting fed till you’re a fat pig.. crime would plummit. One thing the Arabs have right.

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-01-19 12:22:59

son of the suns said:

“Morality is fluid, much like Time. It changes all the time. What is “moralâ€? “today, might be “immoralâ€? next year. ”

I disagree. Moral trends are for women who can’t fucking make a right decision ever. Hence they need to be braindead nodes in a social hivemind. The problem is the current social hivement is dominated by the memes of Boomer scum and the “do what feels good” suicide dive.

Men.. we know what’s right. It’s manstincts.

I agree with the last line. However, it is true that moralism changes with time (Not a year) but longer. For instance, in the middle ages, public hangings were allowed and were treated like shows. Now, we have people opposing the death penalty etc and there are no more public executions.

That’s not counting what the church will change to keep its power though

 
Comment by son of the suns
2007-01-19 10:38:06

“Morality is fluid, much like Time. It changes all the time. What is “moralâ€? “today, might be “immoralâ€? next year. ”

I disagree. Moral trends are for women who can’t fucking make a right decision ever. Hence they need to be braindead nodes in a social hivemind. The problem is the current social hivement is dominated by the memes of Boomer scum and the “do what feels good” suicide dive.

Men.. we know what’s right. It’s manstincts.

 
Comment by mc
2007-01-19 07:06:24

hey Dick
this is message for YOU my man!

hahahaha
everytime when im checking out your website for new articles and i read one, im delighted! hahaaha makes me smile every single time man!
makes me feel good! there should be more guys out there, like you, defending our gender
i know how it feels cause for me being a man is important
i always tell them what i think when they piss me off
the women of today, most of them, have a serious problem
the situation is messed up, ***** up! no woman bringing me down yo
take care
peter

 
Comment by abaddon_fff
2007-01-08 19:05:13

thinker said:

Gentlemen, since you seem to read and respond to a lot of poor quality posts from both males and females I hope that you will have the patience to read this. I’ve read a fair amount of the discussion on this site and I must say that I feel it is sadly lacking in rhetorical or logical merit.

Your findings are somewhat lacking “thinker”. Maybe you should “think” about how you came off to garner such responses?

To begin with, if we women are so incredibly loquacious (which we are- we have 20% more of our brain proportionally devoted to language than men- and that’s a scientifically proven fact-

What does that say exactly? That women have spent much more of their evolution talking to everyone? I wonder what the Men were doing?

but I’m sure you all knew that because apparently men know everything)

Strange I thought women were the ones that thought they knew everything?

then I would have thought that you would understand that it is going to take a lot more than an expletive to keep us from posting ;-) and yet your moderator freely registers people with obviously forbidden names like “female”.

It’s because a lot of Men are repelled by censorship of any kind, and have a full respect for the freedom of speech, whatever that speech may be in my view.

Considering that the constant implication on this site is that men’s superiority obligates them to use masculine force to keep women under control, it seems like Dick or someone else has lost some man points somewhere along the line.

What exactly is “masculine force”? I don’t think that this site implies that at all. Is this what they teach in womens studies? I think that this site would be offensive to women, however I don’t think that its all wrong either. Simply because something is offensive, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t contain truth. Where exactly do you read that we want to subjugate women? I haven’t read anything like that in Dicks articles. I have found that many women would like to subjugate Men however, if not castrate or enslave them.

Secondly, I find nothing here but emotional ranting, with little argument or evidence.

The evidence is availible for anyone with an open mind and a PAIR OF EYES thinker. However this site isn’t a strictly scientific site, there’s much humor to be had, and individual experience. I wonder how much scientific evidence was provided when it was said that “All Men are rapists” or “All Men are pigs”?

For example, the above posts are all based entirely on intuition, personal experience and emotion. As a woman,

This is pretty much where I stop listening to you. As a woman, you have no idea what a Mans life is like. Not. A. Clue.

I believe that these are valuable human attributes that have an important role to play in humanity, but I am under the impression that they are associated with the “pathos” side of the derridean logos/pathos dichotomy and hence with femininity.

What is so “female” about Men experiencing emotion? Or discussing it for that matter? Most Men consider their emotions to be a private matter. Not something to be discussed with everyone, nor shown. Do you honestly think that Men don’t have any intuition? Why do you think that Men would keep their emotions private? In my view it’s because they’re so strong that we have to learn how to control them at a very young age. How are we taught that? Through our fathers, which are becoming more and more absent as feminism wreaks havok upon the familial structure. Womens “choices” are infringing upon our rights as fathers and as basic human beings.

I happen to value to logos side of that dichotomy as much as the pathos side, but it seems that on this supposedly patriarchal site, it is pathos which reigns.

No, actually many of us try to strike a balance between the two. Some more than others that is.

Thirdly, let me show you the problem with pure pathos. Those on this site have provided no concrete statistical or qualitative proof of your claims that women are immoral, selfish and stupid.

There’s the problem thinker. You can’t quantify “life” on a purely mathmatical level. Although I have been reading some stuff which might change my mind, I still think that life isn’t all about the numbers. I think the problem is that women are “allowed” to be immoral, selfish and stupid, without any consequences placed upon their behavior. In fact many are rewarded for their negative behavior. Which in turn breeds more of the same.

My own personal experience would suggest otherwise. I am a 21 year old female virgin Sunday School teacher. Over the years I have been involved in campaigns to fight world poverty and promote the rights of hte disabled (who, incidentally I feel are greatly disadvantaged by your definition of masculinity as suggested by posts).

I am a 26 year old felon and construction worker. I have sex on the weekends after I drink a lot of beer. So what? I have an IQ of 127-130, does this change anything? I feel greatly disadvantaged by feminisms definition of masculinity as well. I don’t worship the sheep god either. I am an agnostic in the loosest sense of the term.

I started university at 16 and was valedictorian of my undergraduate class. Now I am attending graduate school (well actually I’m from Australia so we don’t have valedictorians, but my faculty dean said he had never seen anyone with marks as good as mine).

I find university/college to be almost a complete waste of time. I got a similar education with a library card and some mental effort.

Now some of you have been hurt by women, and in an emotional reaction against the excesses of feminism you have said that I am a cheating, lying whore who is worse than a rapist and would be of much greater value to the world if I spent all my time cooking, cleaning, sewing and servicing the sexual needs of my non-existent husband (or perhaps I should just go out there and service as many men as I can- or would that make me a whore?).

You will decide what you want to do with your life, this is called free will, something your “god” gave us right? However it IS surprising that many women cannot even do that correctly. Yes I have been hurt by women, however does that mean that I hate them? For a time I did, however you try having something that you love ripped away from you, and then be forced to pay for it. However I found that Wolfe is correct, hatred is a wasteful emotion, useful sometimes but ultimitely self-destructive.

I teach volunteer English to male migrants and they show me their gratitude by interrupting and refusing to listen to my corrections. I have even had men show blatant discourtesy and make sexual innuendos. Do you have any idea how threatened and confused that makes a young inexperienced teacher feel? How is that sort of hurtful and intimidating behaviour a demonstration of superiority?

I want to tell you something thinker. You have no idea what intimidation is, nor fear, nor confusion, nor pain. I have some knowledge of it, and the real thing is far beyond standing in front of a bunch of “adults” and teaching them english or computer skills.

Maybe this is just a feminine naive hearts and flowers view of the world, but for me superiority is entirely a matter of moral worth. Moral worth is entirely a matter of personal responsibility. If men are meant to rule the world then they should behave in ways which show their moral superiority.

Morality is fluid, much like Time. It changes all the time. What is “moral” today, might be “immoral” next year. It used to be moral to have several wives, it used to be moral to have sex with children as well. Morality is simply a changable code that we live by in this present date and time. However I do applaud your posts thinker, you have definitly broken the mould.

-Strength and Honor-

 
Comment by Necroswordsman
2007-01-08 17:12:49

Anon, they are women. They will never listen. At all.

 
Comment by Anon
2007-01-08 15:40:39

Thinker, I must give the same advice to you as every other woman who has the cheek to post here: please exit. Dick’s instruction on the homepage is in black and white “No Women Allowed”. That rule is there for a reason. Time and energy is wasted on your opinions which come through only in estrogen-fuelled shrieks and hysterics. You’re not welcome here, is that okay?

Having said that, you’re post was not full of the usual female emotional bile and you sound like a respectable person. But, do respect that this site was not designed for women, it’s a man’s website. You suggested a link out of MABTW on “No Women Allowed”, that’s a good idea. It might divert women from the site which would be good.

In the same principal that men are not welcomed to Womens Studies, I ask you and all the other women who are posting to kindly shut up and if you are not happy to lurk, leave the site altogether. Consider this a men’s society, a men’s club, in the same way Womens Studies is a women’s “secret society”. We know there’s things we probably disagree with going on there, but for the sake of peace and quiet, we just leave it alone. Can you do the same with MABTW please?

MABTW is for debate - however that debate is to be conducted among men only. Unlike women, men’s opinions are marginalised in the mainstream media. This website is one way in which we can deal with the isolation we receive from the effeminate media. We ask that you leave us alone to discuss our opinions here because we are sick of being censored and trivialised by women in the mainstream media.

 
Comment by sonyad
2007-01-06 04:25:32

In respect to what I’ve said regarding your uncle. The way you chose to phrase that commentary conjures, to my mind at least, a tainting of frivolousness. How your uncle’s done everything, killed lots of these and those. But the one thing he never kills is time. No, that would acutally be wrong(sardonic imputance mine).

It’s ever so slightly pushing war and killing into derisory. Like that obvious crack about the French traditionally excelling at capitulation. Coupled with your prior statement, still fresh in my mind, that killing is not inherently evil, though murder obviously is. Glad there’s always some ethics and morals committee handy to tell them apart.

You believe it is I who am ascribing valences of meaning to a text that’s simply free of them. I dissent. You rightfully took exception to my not diligently answering. I now have. I maintain it’s you who’s inscribing meaning to a text that ought be free of it.

Has it occurred to you that there is the distinct possibility that someone reading who’s had their father, brother or husband killed, not murdered(indeed, this was war after all - kill or be killed - ), by your uncle? Or is it inconsequential? How would your words read to them? Somewhat demeaning and hurtful, wouldn’t they?

Pardon me for my caustic language or if all this is unfounded and irrational emotionalism. Perhaps my interpretation is in indeed skewed and subjective.

Respects.

 
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