Ask Dick: Who Can I Fuck?

This question was sent to me by Jordan:

My problem is inherently sexual. I am completely disgusted by American women. I am 22 years old, and I have spent the last three years avoiding sex because I refuse to allow these ugly American bitches to feel “pretty”, regardless of the benefit to me.

It’s driving me up the wall. I honestly feel that if I don’t get laid soon, I will kill myself. Any advice?

This Ask Dick question affected me deeply, as the loss of a man’s life is one of the biggest tragedies there is. Every time I see a bunch of women on television whining about some puppy mill that was just discovered in the trailer next door, it makes me want to throw a cinder block through the television.

Fuck puppies. Some man somewhere didn’t get laid today. That’s a tragedy.

But I’m not a woman, so I don’t let my emotions ruin my possessions or sex drive.

First of all, Jordan, no matter where you are, there are always alternatives to American women. Even in America there are Mexican women, Canadian women, even Polish women. Granted, women from all countries have massive failings that ultimately cannot be compensated for by anything other than your manly charity and pity, but it doesn’t hurt to mix up the genetic deck every once in a while.

That’s why God gave men dicks: to stir up the genetic melting pot.

It may also surprise you that American women are not the most self-obsessed prostitutes on the face of the Earth. That’s an honor that could only go to Australian women. A good and manly way to appreciate what you have is to deprive yourself of it. That’s one of the reasons I throw sandwiches in the street all the time. It only increases my appreciation of them.

Why not take a trip to Australia? A land where women’s noses are bigger than kangaroos, their laughs are as nasal as a dentist’s drill, and their opinions are twice as loud as they are stupid. Also, they’re the worst in bed.

Australian women are so bad in bed, they don’t even know when sex is happening. The rape statistics down there are completely fucked.

Lastly, and perhaps my best piece of manvice is: lower your expectations.

Women can’t meet anything with grace. Deadlines, your parents, your expectations; no matter what, you end up with fuck ups, embarrassment, and a three-year dry spell.

Would you try to engage a child on the merits of Reaganomics? No, but you might perform a magic trick for them and send them on their way. Would you expect a man to wash your dishes after you were done eating? Would you expect a broken television to fix itself after I threw a cinderblock through it?

No.

Men are better than women. Having sex with women is basically a form bestiality; albeit a socially condoned one. And it always will be. At least until they invent a word for having sex with someone who is mildly retarded.

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206 Comments in 148 threads.»

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Comment by Andria
2009-11-13 14:30:19 - IP Man-Hash: 4fce75f894ae3

Aww, how sweet :) The last part was especially touching. Onmly one problem — I’m not retarded. Or even mildly retarded. So…. I guess that’s proof that your articled wrong?

Sorry to break it to you, though. ‘Didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.

Comment by Watcher
2009-11-13 15:31:52 - IP Man-Hash: dc2258566578b

Beg to differ…

Comment by Andria
2009-11-14 08:40:49 - IP Man-Hash: 4fce75f894ae3

Lol. Really? Do you? It’s far to bad that you don’t have any logical proof. It doesn’t matter. This site’s a joke anyway. :)

Although, I will say, mildly retarded people are generally not valedictorians.

Comment by Harry
2009-11-14 08:52:27 - IP Man-Hash: 7e922a00473bb

proof? I think if you read your first post you’ve given it yourself, that’s no doubt why Watcher didn’t even bother explaining to you, we got it. Valedictorian, whoopdefuckingdoo. Whats that prove btw? You’re capable of regurgitating knowledge? whoopdefuckingdoodeedoodee. :)) There ya go valedictorian, I tried to write it in a way you’d understand. :))) Lets all go shopping and by some shite and make someone richer with our greed. I know, another pair of expensive shoes I’ll likely only wear once if at all, doesn’t matter, my man’s paying. :))))

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Comment by Watcher
2009-11-14 11:19:56 - IP Man-Hash: dc2258566578b

Proof eh?

umm…

The site specifically says “No Women Allowed”, you understood the message yet still posted. Mildly retarded.

You say this site is a joke yet you waste your time here. Moderately retarded.

Believing that anybody is in the least bit interested in what you have to say. Moderately retarded.

Demanding ‘proof’ when this site has a large number of articles and links to credible data for you to evaluate yourself. Comically retarded.

Being the student valedictorian at a school for retards still makes you a retard. Utterly retarded.

Sorry, did I hurt your feelings?

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Comment by Jack-The-Ripper
2009-10-21 18:27:39 - IP Man-Hash: 5104b5e0893bc

ALL THE MEN RISE UP ALL THE BROTHERS RISE UP ANSWER THE BATTLE CALL TRACK THE CUNTS WHO COME ON THIS SITES TO THEIR HOMES LET THEM THINK TWICE ABOUT HW MUCH THEIR CUNTS CAN BLEED I HAVE FORMED A HUGE ARMY OF FRIENDS AROUND THE WORLD WE ARE GOING TO DESTROY THESE CUNTS IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME! ALL THE MEN START RECRUITING OTHER BROTHERS AROUND THE WORLD YOUR FRIENDS FAMILY WORKMATES THE TIME IS NOW! THE EARTH WILL BLOOD WHEN WE MAKE THESE FUCKING CUNT WHORES BLEED STABBING VICIOUSLY THERE’S NO STOPPING US CUNTS! EVERYTHING YOU CAN SEE WITH YOUR EYES BELONG TO MEN SO TAKE IT BACK! FIGHT NOW! STAND UP NOW! STRIKE NOW! 3 BILLION MEN HUNTING YOU CUNTS DOWN WHERE CAN YOU RUN WHERE CAN YOU HIDE! CHAINSAW RIPPING YOUR CUNTS OPEN FOR ALL THE BILLIONS OF BABIES ABORTED! ALL CUNTS WILL PAY!

 
Comment by Keke
2009-03-26 02:51:47 - IP Man-Hash: 510c741343597

I think this guy got his heart broken by too many women that didnt want his ugly 70’s porn star looking scrawny ass failure of a “man.” He is more than likely gay and loves to recieve. I have no problems with gay people. I happened to be bisexual, but when a man says this shit about a women, he needs to be shot out of a high powered cannon into space and die. I hope all of you realize how much he decreased your IQ by reading his stuff.

Comment by Dustin Grey
2009-06-17 11:59:41 - IP Man-Hash: edff3a0264b63

Wow chubs, this is exactly why women deserve no respect. Women think a person having standards is gay by default, and a person having standards should result in violence towards that person.
And just saying that you don’t have a problem with gay people doesn’t change the fact that clearly you must. If your first instinct is to refer to being gay in a derogatory sense, it really spells out something about your personality. Try a little tolerance. I would also tell you to read a book that at least matches your weight (200+?), but there’s no reward in trying to teach a woman. It always ends in astonishment and frustration.

Comment by allie
2009-09-05 03:11:40 - IP Man-Hash: 89ab2e4a36356

I don’t believe she used gay in a derogatory way, seems to me as though she looked at how much this boy despises women, deducted that he could not engage in any romantic relationship with one, and thus came to the conclusion that he would be far more content with a male life partner.

Comment by Banderman
2009-09-22 17:04:43 - IP Man-Hash: bd4f7d0a3a68e

These women sound like democrats. According to those idiots, if you don’t like or agree with everything Obama, you’re automatically a racist. Same with pop tarts, if you don’t agree with everything ‘woman’ or support their B.S. wholeheartedly, voi la, you must hate women. Stupid is as stupid does. The argument is both camps is all they have; they don’t have anything else; this makes it twice as hilarious and absurd.

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Comment by Andria
2009-11-13 14:38:41 - IP Man-Hash: 4fce75f894ae3

Well, I’m a Democrat, a woman, and am not racist…. And I don’t agree with everything Obama says.

So…. Better luck next time.

 
 
 
Comment by Andria
2009-11-13 14:33:54 - IP Man-Hash: 4fce75f894ae3

THAT’s especially funny. Because one of the biggest problems MEN have with women are our stubborn standards, isn’t it?

We have the audacity not to have sex with anyone that we don’t actually LIKE.
We have the confidence not to want to be an assistant, but to work for ourselves.
And we want men that like us for something other than sex and service.

How dare we? =D

 
 
 
Comment by Jordan
2009-01-02 16:16:50 - IP Man-Hash: 33a7f74b5e7a9

Jordan is a jew name so its especially likely that you are a homo jordan.

 
Comment by ratix240sx
2008-12-15 18:08:46 - IP Man-Hash: 224989f0fbed3

lol maybe he is just gay? I consider myself to have high standards(not moral ones, just physical ones, morals are for bitches) but really if you can’t find a woman you want to fuck, you must be gay.

Comment by Chris
2008-12-15 20:16:42 - IP Man-Hash: cfb61523380ca

That’s not entirely true. Some men are not interested in fucking women for the sake of fucking and nothing else. I am not one of them, but I know one who is.

Some men have no interest in sexual relations with women that are not attached to something ELSE.

…. in exactly the same way that women don’t spread their legs for the sake of it either. Even when they SHOULD.

Those women aren’t gay.
Those women actually pretend they are “GOOD” and “NOBLE”.

But everyone knows they are WHORES –>>> who don’t believe in enjoying sex for the joy and pleasure of it… UNLESS some other condition has been met – or payment has been made.

Whores!

A straight man like that can exist.
And they do.

 
 
Comment by Lux
2008-12-14 14:40:22 - IP Man-Hash: 1627d25b6fae6

No wonder women like their puppies so much – because men like you are such dicks.

Comment by Bob
2008-12-15 09:09:53 - IP Man-Hash: a73a45f9b321b

The only time a whore should open her mouth is when she’s giving head.

 
 
Comment by WTF ftl
2008-11-27 18:30:31 - IP Man-Hash: 0c07434e4c655

I can’t believe what I see. We all. Bleed the same blood. I guess everyone needs to have someone to blame for their problems. Like Hitler blamed Jews this guy blames women!

Comment by Killinmachine
2008-12-10 21:01:46 - IP Man-Hash: 9377ef43ecb6b

And you blame Dick, Your problem: Men are better than you, Solution: Blame Dick and Lie to yourself that it’s not true and Dick is just making it up, sad…

Comment by skaffz
2008-12-15 05:08:04 - IP Man-Hash: 7ea35544437db

HAHAHAHA

 
 
 
Comment by pamela
2008-10-18 09:37:03 - IP Man-Hash: f278d91baf183

how many people have u fucked i bet i will be the best fucker of all

Comment by Psiros
2008-10-18 09:45:00 - IP Man-Hash: 9c6673c05603d

I submit the above as one of so many tragic exhibits of female “communication.” No attempt at courtesy; vulgar, incoherent and hateful in one succinct line.

 
 
Comment by Vagrath666
2008-10-01 01:13:32 - IP Man-Hash: be21f66e116b3

That sounds like insecurity, actually though, perhaps he just wants to be pretty himself and gain the compliments or he hates it secretly.

Comment by mark
2008-11-23 00:42:57 - IP Man-Hash: e70d8980a6ae7

what is this even referring to?????

 
 
Comment by Chas
2008-09-23 21:44:04 - IP Man-Hash: c245bade7a057

Fuck American women. And I say that as a white American male. Pack up and move to Pattaya. Or at the very least, just stay here in the U.S. and find a non-American whore.

 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 10:54:43 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

But why would you f*ck a woman who’s not good enough for you. Like you giving yourself the worst thing ever. Or you can f*ck a real men, you said it your self ; they are better then woman even sexually. So you already tried a men. Otherwise you don’t know.

Comment by Keb/PWaM
2008-08-20 10:57:02 - IP Man-Hash: d3e78449c9f2c

FUCK…….see, it’s not that hard.

Comment by Commander Scott
2008-08-20 11:26:25 - IP Man-Hash: 5b21d905c3469

To Sandra and Keb:

Piss off the site, frigid cunts.

 
 
Comment by STARCK
2008-08-20 11:11:35 - IP Man-Hash: 8fdae3316d084

SANDRA – We fuck women who are “not good enough for us” because there are MORE women like that out there.

If we waited around for women who are “equal” or “good enough” (like men), we would never get laid.

Bessides, women WANT men who are BETTER than they are anyway…. so it’s not a problem. It works out great. We fuck women who are INFERIOR, and the women get men who are SUPERIOR.

It works!

What YOU are doing, does NOT work.

 
 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 08:44:00 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

Men or woman who forbidden to enter a site, are the issue of problems, but they cannot respons it? No one learns about it. I think that you Chris and other members of Dick Masterson wants to talk about it. But if you want to meet a woman for sex or maybe something else, then you are playing mister nice guy who’s isn’t really himself? Then everything wat you are saying and agreed with it will come out whenever? So then youre not for real in here or out there? Then you are a lie-ing men? Really tell me , why not open?

Comment by Chris
2008-08-20 08:53:53 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

No. The problem exists because of you.
If you shut your cumpooter off,

“Playing Mr. nice guy” doesn’t get a man laid.

TREATING WOMEN LIKE SHIT
–>> GETS MEN LAID.

TREATING WOMEN “like mister nice guy”
GETS MEN —>> MARRIED.

We don’t need to lie to women to get laid.
We can tell them they are worthless whores right to their face.
We can publish it on a website.

AND YOU WILL NOTICE THAT WOMEN (LIKE YOU) WON’T LEAVE!
YOU JUST KEEP COMING BACK TO MEN LIKE US FOR MORE.

That’s why you will never get our respect.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

Comment by Mark
2008-08-20 08:59:00 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

Chris – FUCK that’s funny.

Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 10:23:19 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

That’s why you never get our respect !!!

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Comment by none
2008-09-09 21:56:26 - IP Man-Hash: 1ec8eb18e7d32

well its cuz women be actin like bitches some of em or majority of dem for ex. i fuked a girl den after i fuked her she left me and went to fuk wit another man and dats real bitchy..dats y we boys do the same thin play u b4 u play us..

 
 
 
 
Comment by mark
2008-11-23 00:47:29 - IP Man-Hash: e70d8980a6ae7

jesus, are you shitting me? women suck, but i didn’t think they were retarded. how can this be for real? Most of the men in here make coherent, articulate arguments for why women are a waste of carbon. By being such a dumb shit you know you’re only confirming us in our superiority, right? Sandra? right? stop trying. you’re only making it worse.

 
 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 07:53:25 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

And you want to talk with men about woman. Then we are importent after all. Otherwise you din’t mention it. Only you can do your own story, but not about woman you don’t know of never met. How stupid is that!!!!!

 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 07:03:54 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

Am not a bad woman at all. My husbund doesn’t have to work for me. And I don’t have to work for him. We have both own money. We are married. And sometimes he wants to shout and sometimes I want to shout. And the rest of the time we make love, go our own way and do things together. We learn a lot of each other. Sometimes he can see thro woman eyes. Sometimes I can see thro men eyes. Its amazing that my husbund has learnd that. And he was shocked that I understand him. No woman is better then a men. And no men is better then a woman. But you have different type of humans. And some are dumber. And some are smarter. But you cannot always know for sure. A wise human respected life and see possibility’s in life and not no possibility’s who leads you to nowhere and can make you lost.

Comment by detached
2008-08-20 07:17:17 - IP Man-Hash: ce5d8f645eab4

Sandra, go blog somewhere else. Men are better than women, its a fact Jack. Nowhere on this website can you quote dick as not respecting life. In case your little brain can’t understand, life is also nature, very respected.

What we don’t respect is bitches coming to our place, seeking attention and blogging their little diatribes about how stupid and mundane their life is.

Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 07:45:38 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

Haha. But I m not here to amuse you. If the story is stupid, then you get stupid reactions. Bla Bla. Bitches Bla Bla.

Comment by Chris
2008-08-20 08:14:37 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

Thats right. You are here to INTENTIONALLY be annoying – LIKE ALL WOMEN – in a place where you do not belong, are not welcome , or invited.

Men would never do that.

THAT’S WHY MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN.

A man would never walk into a room full of women where he was not welcome or invited. That would be rude.

Women have no manners or integrity,
and that’s why you are here.

Don’t worry, we get it.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

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Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 08:28:48 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

So Chris you don’t feel understanding by woman?
Maybe you better discusse your issue with woman then with a men. Learn to speak normal with a woman. And woman doent have a site with; woman are better than a men, how stupid is that!!!

 
Comment by Mark
2008-08-20 08:39:54 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

Nothing is more stupid than your shitty english and the fact that you are here.

If you go to http://womenarebetterthanmen.com you will just end up here.

You’re right! To say “Womenarebetterthanmen” WOULD be extremely stupid.

Menarebetterthanwomen.

 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 08:49:12 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

Hi Mark,
My englisch is shitty, because am spaeking Dutch. And do you know what stupid is, that you talk to me.

Why do you o that Mark? Do you enjoying talking to me!!

 
Comment by Mark
2008-08-20 08:57:07 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

Well then go to a Dutch website.

like . . . .

“Wantwewetennietwatwedoen.com”

It’s for stupid women.

 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 10:36:47 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

Staat tussen aanhalingstekens,dus dan moet ik het niet letterlijk nemen; maar voor het geval dat;
Tuurlijk weet ik wat ik doe !!!

Sandra to Mark.

 
 
 
 
 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 06:46:44 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

If a woman has beauty, then a men needs brains if he’ s not, otherwise be a real nice men.
You said ugly woman ? But who’s says you are beautiful? I think if people love thimself with body and mind ,thats beautiful.

Comment by Chris
2008-08-20 06:54:23 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

Really? Most women say men who “love themselves” are ASSHOLES WITH HUGE EGOS WHO MUST DIE.

Women hate that.
Because women hate themselves.

That’s why women have a “problem” with men who DON’T hate themselves.

 
 
Comment by Sandra
2008-08-20 06:40:35 - IP Man-Hash: ba1df3127e870

Do you want that woman enjoying ? No? Why should a woman want that you are enjoying ?

 
Comment by LivanaKristinM
2008-07-30 12:04:09 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

Probably nobody… It is his need to be seen as attractive, important and etc…. His superiority crisis might get in the way of his attractiveness, ego has always been a major turn off for men and women…

Comment by detached
2008-08-20 07:19:06 - IP Man-Hash: ce5d8f645eab4

Wow, you are one stupid whore.

 
 
Comment by LivianaMari
2008-07-30 12:02:00 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

Probably nobody… It is his need to be seen as attractive, important and etc…. His superiority crisis might get in the way of his attractiveness, ego has always been a major turn off for men and women…

Comment by LivanaKristinM
2008-07-30 12:05:01 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

Duplicator… ;)

Comment by Hans
2008-07-30 14:17:33 - IP Man-Hash: 75e3b984e09c6

What part of “No Woman Allowed” is it that you don´t get?

Get your hen-party fucking off this site

Comment by Demi
2008-07-30 14:23:14 - IP Man-Hash: 158e62b7d4bd7

We’re just hoping some men might actually have a brain rather than worshipping the Dickless-wonder

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Comment by Hans
2008-07-30 14:35:45 - IP Man-Hash: 75e3b984e09c6

The fact that you can read and respond to this using devices and mathematical concepts invented by M E N should give you a slight clue on man-brainpower.

Although I´m a realist and don´t expect nothing but cluelessness, because “NO WOMAN ALLOWED” just doesn´t sink in, does it?

 
Comment by Lucy
2008-08-04 23:23:40 - IP Man-Hash: 6e88bfed06d8f

Well we are just standing up for ourselves. We’re not gonna leave just because Dick-wad said so. He cannot legally make women stay off of this site, and it’s a free country. Even for us women, yes, who deserve it very much.

 
Comment by Hans
2008-08-05 03:40:38 - IP Man-Hash: c8207f50e2b18

You deserve fuck-all. You got all kinds of right granted by men and all you do is still piss and moan AND destroy western civilisation by refusing to have enough children, abolishing stable families through rampant divorce rates and permanent whorish behavior well through your most fertile and beautiful years. Women fucked up their best chance in all known human history to prove they´re at least equal.
You done fucked up.
Get the fuck off this site!

 
 
 
 
 
Comment by LivianaMari
2008-07-30 11:59:05 - IP Man-Hash: 8a37b6454e781

http://tribes.tribe.net/bebopdeluxeaxevictim/thread/b7149540-3bec-400d -bc44-193efac7cf9b

or you can spend eternity with Jesus here…haha

http://youtube.com/watch?v=3EPswCbgFJE

Should I care about what this insecure man thinks? Maybe if he’d grow up he’d stop worrying about his lack of ‘attractiveness’ is it because women do not want him? I can see where his personality might affect the way women see him. Also perhaps it is a cover up for the fact that his ego and need for superiority is most likely the cause…

Comment by Lucy
2008-07-31 15:55:26 - IP Man-Hash: 25fa8201bf430

Lol AMEN LivianaMari!

 
 
Comment by Amber
2008-07-29 19:55:18 - IP Man-Hash: 6fc996c59f59b

umm hii i just wanted to say that you all are right about us women. lol. we sooo try to be lesbians to get your attention! like totally! and OH EHM GEE! im such a whore. like seriously. thanks for setting me straight Deck!

Comment by Hans
2008-07-30 14:14:39 - IP Man-Hash: 75e3b984e09c6

Newsflash: It´s irony only when it´s NOT true.
Now FUCK OFF this site.

 
 

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