Ask Dick: Who Can I Fuck?
This question was sent to me by Jordan:
My problem is inherently sexual. I am completely disgusted by American women. I am 22 years old, and I have spent the last three years avoiding sex because I refuse to allow these ugly American bitches to feel “pretty”, regardless of the benefit to me.
It’s driving me up the wall. I honestly feel that if I don’t get laid soon, I will kill myself. Any advice?
This Ask Dick question affected me deeply, as the loss of a man’s life is one of the biggest tragedies there is. Every time I see a bunch of women on television whining about some puppy mill that was just discovered in the trailer next door, it makes me want to throw a cinder block through the television.
Fuck puppies. Some man somewhere didn’t get laid today. That’s a tragedy.
But I’m not a woman, so I don’t let my emotions ruin my possessions or sex drive.
First of all, Jordan, no matter where you are, there are always alternatives to American women. Even in America there are Mexican women, Canadian women, even Polish women. Granted, women from all countries have massive failings that ultimately cannot be compensated for by anything other than your manly charity and pity, but it doesn’t hurt to mix up the genetic deck every once in a while.
That’s why God gave men dicks: to stir up the genetic melting pot.
It may also surprise you that American women are not the most self-obsessed prostitutes on the face of the Earth. That’s an honor that could only go to Australian women. A good and manly way to appreciate what you have is to deprive yourself of it. That’s one of the reasons I throw sandwiches in the street all the time. It only increases my appreciation of them.
Why not take a trip to Australia? A land where women’s noses are bigger than kangaroos, their laughs are as nasal as a dentist’s drill, and their opinions are twice as loud as they are stupid. Also, they’re the worst in bed.
Australian women are so bad in bed, they don’t even know when sex is happening. The rape statistics down there are completely fucked.
Lastly, and perhaps my best piece of manvice is: lower your expectations.
Women can’t meet anything with grace. Deadlines, your parents, your expectations; no matter what, you end up with fuck ups, embarrassment, and a three-year dry spell.
Would you try to engage a child on the merits of Reaganomics? No, but you might perform a magic trick for them and send them on their way. Would you expect a man to wash your dishes after you were done eating? Would you expect a broken television to fix itself after I threw a cinderblock through it?
No.
Men are better than women. Having sex with women is basically a form bestiality; albeit a socially condoned one. And it always will be. At least until they invent a word for having sex with someone who is mildly retarded.
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August 22nd, 2007 at 2:50 pm - IP Man-Hash: 49119190473c9
Wear a wedding ring.
-Dick
August 22nd, 2007 at 4:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2dc7d33608540
Tell the whore that you’re rich as fuck, then nail her in the back of your ‘87 Honda.
Alternatively, you could just tell her you volunteer at the animal shelter. Then, nail her in one of those cages.
August 22nd, 2007 at 5:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: c72d3d7fa1251
@ El Chauvinisto - “Tell the whore that you’re rich as fuck, then nail her in the back of your ‘87 Honda.”
HA! Perfect!
August 22nd, 2007 at 7:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 52ddc4a390467
American women are the rudest, fattest and ugliest bitches on Planet Earth. It is a shame, because back in the 1950s and before many of them were actually very pretty and feminine.
P Coderch
August 22nd, 2007 at 8:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
Not only that, but asian women secretly look down on american women for their lack of feminity. When you’re at the store or something, and the american women is bitching about this and that to the cashier, the asian girl behind her will usually just stand there looking at the ground and being silent. What she’s thinking is that american women are lower than shit and don’t know their place. Not only do asian women know their place, but they take pride in it, and shun the western women.
Watch the way asian girls look at american girls, and they way asian girls go out of their way to ignore and avoid american girls.
They also look down on the american asian girls for the same reason. Notice how the american asian girls have all porked up.
And the brazillian women take the butt-plug.
This is an excellent way of putting it. As soon as I stopped treating women like equals, and started treating them like children, I suddenly found that I could have almost any women I wanted. You have to see a women as only an object of sexual desire (even the “smart” ones), because that is all they are by nature. If you treat them any other way, they will hate you. The reason they always get upset or angry when you try to talk intelligently with them is because their brains literally can’t handle it, and you’re putting WAY too high of an expectation on them.
Actually, Trek, that may just work better than you realize. Have you tried it? Commedy goes a long way with these animals.
LOL!!! That just might be true!
Excellent advice. Also, listen to Tom Leykis and you will be getting laid before you know it. He advocates making a business card with Dr. or Esquire before or after your name. Want to see how women are truly whores? Just watch how fast you get laid when you change your business card. It will be an eye opening experience, and you will lose all respect for women (which is a good thing).
I’ve had two girls ask me flat out, “Are you rich?” Can you believe this shit? Prepare an answer to this question so you’re ready, like, “Well, I don’t like to flaunt it, but you are welcome to come on my yacht sometime”. Then just fuck her before you have to produce a yacht.
Get a yacht brochure, pick a yacht, and learn everything about it though, so you can describe it to her.
August 22nd, 2007 at 11:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 66d38a12d22d6
@Ralohcs… I am a Leykis101 graduate, and a son of two fathers.
To speak realistically, I find it very depressing. I was raised by my mom and dad to beleive that you could be the President, people would treat you how you treated them, falling in love & romance was the best thing ever, and “the right girl is out there, you just have to find her.”
1. You won’t be the president. You won’t be the Vice-president either. You may not even be the manager at Starbucks. Career advancement requires work… unless you can “work” the system. …cough… vagina..
2. MEN will treat you with respect. Walk up to any normal white, black, mexican… any guy and strike up a conversation. Men of every color, creed, religion can find common ground. Women, on the other hand, can’t even talk to their own species, let alone men. Women don’t understand respect.
3. Falling in love is a myth. There is no romantic way in the world to impale your girlfriend on the hood of your car, and Norah Jones will NEVER magically start playing in the background. Relationships from start to finish are work, and bloody hard. The only way to make a relationship work is cold, hard communication. And that’s NEVER romantic.
4. She’s not out there. There’s no such thing as a right girl. There’s only “better options than my last train-wreck”.
You may have heard the saying, “don’t hate the player, hate the game”. Well, hate em’ both, because the game is fucked, and those that play a shitty game are fools. I respect men who don’t put out the effort anymore.
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:43 am - IP Man-Hash: c406e944e31e4
I know where Dick lives!!!
http://thrownfood.blogspot.com/2007/06/sandwich-bun.html
He’s the neighbour from hell.
August 23rd, 2007 at 3:57 am - IP Man-Hash: d8dfaf3496c8b
I am Singaporean and I can safely say most Asian women respect their men alot. Although there are alot of laws defending women’s right, the women here usually dont abuse them. Thats why I said I dont mind dying for my country or serving the army because there are people whom i wish to protect. Its no question that down here, the men wear the pants and thats the way it should be. The sad thing is that more and more women are turning to feminism and believing in their “rights” - yeah fucking right.
August 23rd, 2007 at 4:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 2fc9c80dda615
Im glad the asian above is fucking fellow asians. It is only right. I am a separatist myself, not a ‘racist’. I do find yellow slit eyed, brown labia gooks abhorrent, but that is beside the point.
August 23rd, 2007 at 6:21 am - IP Man-Hash: 66d38a12d22d6
Being a piece of trash isn’t all that hard.
Take a 20 mile hike in boots and wool socks, pull your socks off, pick out that nasty green stuff that festers down there in the sweaty confines between your toes, and that is what you are. At least you are good at something, even if it is sucking at life.
Yes MALESTROM, I’m talking to you.
August 23rd, 2007 at 7:22 am - IP Man-Hash: ba5c3ae320e07
Doesn’t the term Savant mean no common sense?
Which would be apt since you think tribalism is “trash”.
Tribalism is the only thing that will destroy feminism.
Let the people of all colors and breeds be nationalist and protective of their land and dominant of their females.
Universalism under a bunch of Jewish myths that some skygod worshipping cuckolds thought up is the path to hell.
August 23rd, 2007 at 7:51 am - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
The post has withered without even the rants of women. :/
August 23rd, 2007 at 8:24 am - IP Man-Hash: c46011aeb3b2a
For many men, yes, it does, and especially with sex. I’ve met very few men who refer to it as “making love” except when they’re being polite. For men it’s “getting laid”, “fucking” or more neutrally, “having sex”. There may be an emotional component to it, but that’s secondary to the biological imperative.
Generally speaking, men prefer to keep the upper hand in sexual relationships. Men know when they let women control their sexuality, they’ve lost control of their masculinity.
That’s why women try to control men by withholding sex. Smart men don’t play that game.
August 23rd, 2007 at 8:30 am - IP Man-Hash: dc0655c283574
Well, who the fuck wants to fuck your white bitches who probably got fucked so many times in their life they arent tight anymore….
August 23rd, 2007 at 8:41 am - IP Man-Hash: dc0655c283574
Yes, men love to dominate.
August 23rd, 2007 at 8:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 66d38a12d22d6
I was refering to “yellow slit eyed, brown labia gooks”, when I unleashed the “trash” comment. Why am I being insulted?
August 23rd, 2007 at 10:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 3bcc5739d3207
If you’re Asian I absolutely gaurauntee whatever your native country is, they say the same shit about white tourists when it can’t be heard.
August 23rd, 2007 at 11:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Akira Lane is one “yellow slit eyed, brown labia gook” I’d like get to know.
- David West - Make U Mine (Original Mix)
August 23rd, 2007 at 6:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: a2b828af8d625
Asain women are hot! They’re hot at everything. Their good lovers, cooks, they don’t complain (unless they’ve been here in america too long) (wow, I just had a problem with my back space key- fuckin piece of shit Compaq laptops! Malestrom must’ve had something to do with it-it’s all fucked up like him!!!).
The posts here are almost as good as the ones for the “rape” podcast.
-Banzai
August 23rd, 2007 at 7:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2fc9c80dda615
Well, who the fuck wants to fuck your white bitches who probably got fucked so many times in their life they arent tight anymore….
Good…fuckhead…I don’t want you fucking white bitches, so I am glad you are not doing so.
You ridiculous cunt. Suck a turd out of my arse.