Caught Red Dildo’ed
Remember a time in history when women didn’t trip all over themselves to be the first to talk about their dildo collection at a social engagement. Fuck. It’s getting to the point where an office birthday cake can set the harpies off on a ten minute discourse on the best boyfriend they ever had — and still do have.
I have two words for that: ina-fucking-ppropriate.
That’s two words. I just mixed them together.
As if we needed any more proof women are ten times more obsessed with sex than men. Well here’s the dildo in the coffin: the Dildo.
I can hear the wave of righteous squawking even as I write the following.
The dildo is a woman’s best friend. Fuck diamonds.
It’s the sound of millions of women all over the Earth wallowing in their “sexual reclamation” like a million headed sow in a cesspool of truffles and pig shit. A dildo is sexual empowerment you say? More like it’s proof that men are better than women.
Dildos prove women are lazy as fuck when it comes to sex. They’re so lazy that they actually have to take a cell of energy (invented and manufactured by men) and apply it to their pleasure process in the form of two AA batteries. What a joke. The most a man has to put into his sex toy is 50 dollars for dinner and a movie.
I’m kidding because that’s obviously not true. Men also have to do all the work in bed and then usually have to go so far as to remind the woman to get the fuck back to her own house when it’s over. Holy hell, I’ve even heard cases where a post-coital man was expected to garner the wherewithal to transport said sex toy back to her apartment! Now what the fuck is that all about? Do women go to the movies and then just sit there until the cleaning crew tells them to fuck off? I doubt we’ll ever know because that would mean a woman went to a movie without a man and that would mean that she paid for it — something that women never fucking do.
How many men have fake women’s asses at home? I don’t know any. And I also don’t know any women who are sans the Plasticine penis they wish they had. By a simple mathematical equation, it means women are infinity more obsessed with sex than men.
So what’s the myth? It’s not that women are sex fiends, I already did that one. The myth is that the plague of dildos is any greater today than it was in older times. The only difference is that the women of yesteryear knew not to call them “sexual empowerment devices” and instead use their correct name: deviant sex toys for whores.
That’s because it makes the whole experience better and they figured that out while they weren’t wasting time and sixty grand pretending to learn shit in college. Women are sick in the head like that. Call them a whore, slap them — they love it. Any who says she doesn’t loves it twice as much.
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April 7th, 2006 at 8:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 5950bb08d3016
You’re right, they are deviant little whores. It’s funny that when a man thinks about sex or wants to instigate something with a woman that he is dating he gets called a pervert. Yet women talk about blasting things in their poon as if they are brushing their teeth, another double standard. They laugh at Sex and the City and think it’s great that they have dildos. It is just sad after all that they are so damn lazy or can’t get a man to get them off, but that would mean that they might have to think about someone else’s feelings, truly self-sacrifice is not in the female dictionary, along with patience and ambition.
April 7th, 2006 at 6:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: f02acd4334e0c
“Lukasz Says:
but that would mean that they might have to think about someone else’s feelings”
Hit’s it right on the head, Lukasz. I am amazed as to why they don’t call some other gadget as representative of “grrrrllll power”, items like a vacuum cleaner or a bamix. They appear to have the same ability at exciting that sex and made from similar materials.
I can hear it now…
Grrlllll power idiot ” I get really excited when I use my Bamix, it is such a turn on”.
April 9th, 2006 at 7:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
well when you have a seriously sexy vac such as this
http://www.electrolux.com.au/node35.asp?ProdID=26446
what can I say…cleaning simply becomes a sexy act.
July 2nd, 2007 at 1:38 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5dcd9f2d31d63
Most women can have sex whenever they want, with whoever they want. Think of any woman you know, even if she doesnt have a boyfriend or husband, or both for that matter - almost any woman has at least two guys she knows who she calls “friends” who are just hovering around putting up with her blathering all the while waiting for the moment of opportunity - the one and only reason they are handing around her. So if they choose the sex toy over sex act, its their choice not because they have no alternative.
We’ve all heard women bitch about men in bed, men are selfish, dont know how to please a woman, dont know how to touch her, and bla bla bla, if what these broads said were true, (and if the man bitched to the woman the same way) it would be possible to simply listen to what they say they want, do it, and voila! Woman pleased! Does this ever happen? Sure - Haley’s comet will come around again too.
The reason for the popularity of sex toys is cause most women simply CAN’T be pleased. No matter what you say or do for them, they’ll never be pleased for longer than 5 minutes. So for them its a choice, not a last resort.
As for guys, we tend to be much less demanding, of course - all it takes for us is a naked and willing woman, and a hard on, and when we are done, we, unlike women, are usually TOTALLY pleased. No complaints, no bitching that she “did it wrong”. Simple and easy. Thats why i think they are so very reluctant to legalize prostitution in this country - because what man in his right mind would ever get married if it were?
September 2nd, 2007 at 7:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: a2b828af8d625
The band “Steely Dan” got it’s name fom a dildo (back in the old days they were made of steel and used to cure -so they say- nymphomaia).
YOU’VE COME ALONG WAY BABY
Women get to vote, smoke and have careers now (all unheard of in the 19-twenties).
I once heard (from a woman of course) that once they invent a dildo that can take out the trash, they won’t need a man anymore (that dildo better be able to bring home the bacon too).
Women are lazy. With one exception, I have not seen a woman that did not own her own dildo and enjoy it emensley.
You would always know when my “ex” was using her dildo because all the streetlights on our block would dim or go out completely!
Recently there was this radio DJ that (with the insistance of her boyfriend) posed as an “adult toy company representative” and called a woman to say that they were recalling specific marital aids because they were causing illness due to the chemicals in the rubber from which they were made.
You could hardly contain your laughter as the DJ continued to ask the woman personal and probing questions about the recent purchase of the dildo.
Long story short, she went from saying that she didn’t have one, to, “well I only bought it as a gift for a girlfriend and the package was unopened”, to “she only used it once” to see what it was like, she then finally admitted that she used it so often that she wore it out (what a lying fucking cunt).
She was finally let in on the joke, the whole studio and her boyfriend were in hysterics.
Holy shit, she wore the fucking thing out!
Now there’s a woman you want to bring home to meet the parents!
-Banzai
February 15th, 2008 at 10:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 5c8336b56fb06
just to be clear, there is a difference between a dildo and a vibrator. they are not one and the same.
February 15th, 2008 at 11:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 40d1e72f888cc
You’re so right guys. It’s pathetic that anyone would want to do something so ridiculous as have an orgasm every once in awhile.
February 15th, 2008 at 11:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 34a76056addc0
I like my orgasms the old fashioned way…..
February 15th, 2008 at 2:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: f68191fe56ea6
…women actually talk about this in public??
February 15th, 2008 at 2:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
The normal, human response would be, “What a dumbass.” The feminist response is, apparantly, “How do I shift my world view to justify my sister’s laziness/incompetence/stupidity/etc.”
It shocks me senseless when girly-girls say, “You’re living in the past” like it’s a bad thing. Ironically, values and morals never change throughout history, just our interpretation of them - but then bitches like Jen, Keb, PC and Manhole just see us as a bunch of people who fail to grasp their brilliance. Yes, sweetie, it’s you against the world, isn’t it? And then you speak for this so-called average society by justifying theft, with plenty of snot-nosed immaturity on the side.
Subhuman disposable parasites.
February 15th, 2008 at 3:48 pm - IP Man-Hash: b3a2efed6b834
Wrong Butthead (Doubt): Values and Morals DO change. 50 years ago it was immoral for blacks to use the same bathroom as whites. 100 years ago it was immoral for women to vote. But today we respect individual rights and freedoms more than ever before, so its now moral and ethical for these things to occur, and that’s a great thing.
In the future, I suggest that you think before you write, dill-weed. Because when you say something as ridiculous as you did you drive people off the site, and that’s not going to make Master Dick too happy.
I think the only woman you might get along with is one that does not understand the English language. I don’t think there is a single woman on this planet that Beavis (King Wang) could get along with.
All is not lost, however; ask me politely, young man, I will be happy to lead the way to an enlightened future….
February 15th, 2008 at 4:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Girly-girls are cute when they’re angry, aren’t they? This little teen mommy likes to pretend she’s an old man on the internet - the media states it should be the other way around. Oh well, you know what they say about girlys and bars…
Random woman: “How do you write about women so well?!”
Jack Nicholson: “Its easy, I first imagine a man and then I take away logic and accountability.”
Dick Masterson, I’ll bet you never imagined honesty could get you this far in life. I mean, he has an entire book out and his only critics are butthurt little girls - you’ve got to be doing something right when fascists go to such extremes as to impersonate incest fetishists on the internet - and even then, the site and book both remain!
February 15th, 2008 at 4:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
That’s funny. Girly-girls are such pieces of shit at lying, it’s unbelievable.
April 16th, 2008 at 2:46 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0fe5a0ae5dd98
@manhole
It was never “immoral” for blacks to use the same restroom, it wasn’t alowed… was never immoral, morals don’t change…
For instance cheeting is immoral but is perfectly legal, these do not mean the same thing.
Dipshit
April 16th, 2008 at 3:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 11e48c7b83260
My dictionary defines “morality” as follows (1st one of several definitions): The evaluation of or means of evaluating human conduct as, A SET OF IDEAS OF RIGHT AND WRONG.”
So in the 1950’s it was considered wrong by a majority of members of American society (white caucasians) that blacks can use the same bathrooms as whites; now, this is no longer the case. So morality in America is changing, dumb-dumb.
April 28th, 2008 at 5:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
Uh oh. The dildo is the sex object-hence; the woman has directed her raw, animal lust at a ’something’, not a penis.
This explains where all female imagination was ciphoned off-in the produce dept….the constant visualization that a substitute that doesn’t induce pregnancy and emotional submission can be found.
“Bad girl!” Ever see a cat in heat? Kitty wanton, that’s what the streets would be would out this occult off ramp for female libdo.
So, how assinine is it that women claim men constantly let them down in the sack? They are in there for the wrong flippin’ reason! All that’s left is your head, spirit and soul to destroy and devour. They’ve already had their desserts.
I’ve noticed that women who rely on battery toys become over-stimulated and their muscles go pot, so-after awhile, they’ll just go back to being a complete bitch.