The Dick Guide: An Incompetent Truth
Every day, I get another question from a young man who clearly doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing. That’s to be expected in this modern age of Kim Possible and Dr. Cuddy. On TV, women don’t fuck up constantly the way they do in real life — at least not on the channels men watch. The only way to discover the Incompetent Truth is by living life or by listening to someone with a set of balls.
That’s why I’m writing this guide. I’ve got the balls, I’ve got the stamps on my passport, and I would love to fuck a 17 year old girl without getting sent to prison.
That was a pun. Besides, vicarious rape is still legal.
That was another pun.
Is it okay to cry?
No, it’s never okay to cry.
Unless it’s after something really moving, right?
No.
My girlfriend said something outrageously stupid and I…
There’s no reason to finish that sentence. The biggest mistake a young man can make is having a girlfriend. Girlfriends are like dead rats. You can barely do anything fun with them, and once they sink their teeth into your arm, it’s a messy and brutal enterprise to pry them loose. Grab your manliest crowbar.
Girlfriends are a bigger drain on your time than alcohol, marijuana, and masturbating, combined. Even alcoholics can function 20% of the day. People stoned off their asses become carpenters and avant-garde chefs. Baloo-ing the Bear reduces stress, depression, and will eventually give you some hilarious stories. On a long enough time line, everyone gets caught.
Girlfriends, however, are Waste Incarnate, crammed into pants made for someone half their size and twice their price.
A girlfriend is like a garbage disposal of life. You step up, you dump your garbage in — garbage like roses, stuffed animals, and “I see my unborn puppies in your eyes,” and then you walk away. You don’t stand over the garbage disposal and wait for it to shoot out a Pepsi or an original thought. Expecting that for whatever reason — especially because television told you to while it wasn’t selling Tag body perfume — is a loss of Man Points.
Women on TV act reasonable and interesting for the same reason Snuffleupagus has a cardboard cock. He isn’t fucking real.
Next time you’re forcing the sink to chug down a plate of rotten chicken, try to imagine it with a pair of tits. That’s your girlfriend. And if you stand there trying to reason with the garbage disposal like a dumb fuck, it’ll suck down your dreams, your soul, and the shirt off your back.
Next time you’re spending time with your girlfriend, think about this: you could be learning about “options” right now; how to sell them, how to buy them, and how to get so rich off them that in twenty years you could rent this stupid slut’s daughter by the hour. That’s a man plan.
Women in high school are at their peak. Think about it. Every man in history has wanted to fuck a high school girl. Even gay men want to fuck high school girls. I don’t know why, but obviously I don’t really understand how gayness works. Also, grown up women and women in high school both:
1. Work shitty minimum wage jobs.
2. Don’t own a house.
3. Spend most of their time chatting about stupid nonsense.
4. Buy whatever car they think is the cutest.
5. Can’t handle alcohol.
Women in high school and full grown women are exactly the same. Your potential as a man is limitless. The only difference between the whore handling your father’s calls and the whore in Home Ec is that yours has more customers. That means higher prices! It’s called supply and demand, and you can learn all about that while you’re learning about “options”.
When you’re done, break up with your girlfriend. She’s wasting your time.
And when you’re done with that, try a Gummi worm pizza. They’re Manlicious.
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Dick is making money out of other mens misfortunes, he sides with mens sorrows over how they really loathe women and makes his income out of men who hate women through all the books he sells them/products and publicity from a highly public dr phil segment and now through his own website. Spread the hate of women today on Dicks women hating website and always remember him as being a famous spreader of hate for others that has led to his own power fame and fortune from others hate like Adolf gained fans to feed his power. When Dick showed up on Dr Phil as a troll who had the perfect way to make money out of all those women haters by leading them on as his now loyal fans. Make Dick rich and famous through Dicks loyal fans of women haters everywhere who buy into his hype!
If he makes money giving women a verbal slap in the face, fair play to him. You need it.
Your visiting this site helps Dick btw. Just a thought from a man, as you apear to have missed the point. Thanks for your donation, to us and Dick.
Too bad! It’s funny and provocative, and it’s been fascinating to learn about the some of the thoughts and feelings men seldom air. Here’s to freedom of speech in America… use it or lose it!
Agreed, don’t forget the rest of the world.
I am shutting this site down.
Dick Masterson=Dildo wearing a Groucho mask! http://www.maleenhancement.org/
Chris AND MarkEMark=Mr. Empty-pants
Sup men. I saw Dick on Dr. Phil and thought he was fucking awesome. So I have a question for Dick. I’m in high school (9th grade) and I want pussy. I want to fuck high school girls. How do I do this? How do I make them consent? I don’t want to waste my time with girlfriends, I just want lays.
I must say, I’m a girl and I find you absolutely fucking hilarious. The truth in most of what you say makes me laugh my ass off. I like to think I’m an exception to the rule but you know … I’m probably not.
I’d just like to say thanks for taking it upon yourself to degrade our sex. I don’t know if your trying to make these men “like you” or whatever but making these people think what they are saying is okay is just horrible. Really horrible.
You are nothing but a dumb fuck hole to these losers FYI!
Feminism is a fraud. It made women believe it was for them, to benefit them and women really believe this to be true or at least want to believe. That’s not the puropse of the feminism, it is to misslead woman so they wont be competent about men therefore they will be unhappy and unsatisfied. This way they are just an easier target for companies who sell stuff. More money can be made on unhappy women than happy ones. That’s why women shop so religously, cos that’s the main purpose of feminism. It is basically the biggest business there is, just not a specific business like selling books or ideas but a foundation for a much bigger scheme, where the bigest victims are women, because they are robed this way out of ever raching whats important form them. Feminism does one more trick it points to men as the ones who women should blame for the way things are and at the same time spreads an idea that men cant speak about this issues, so there is no one “NO KNIGHT”, so to speak, to save them. Because men are out of the picture this way this pathology can spread itself, just like the cancer. Insted of making their life emotionally meaningfull women turn into maniac cuntzombies, which they hate and don’t know who to blame for, men? themself? or both?
Women: Maybe the better idea is to blame something else, or insted of blaming and live by blaming, just stop listening to feminism. Also keep in mind that todays feminism has nothing in common with the feminism as it started. Todays feminism is just using you and originally it was supposed to benefit you, therefore todays feminism is not feminism but pseudo- feminism. And the truth is I was not the first one who said it. It was a woman a feminist who was the one of the first ones who back in 60′ were starting this movement together with other women and men.
The only benfit you can have out of the way things are today is by stealing or trying to steal men/s money, so you can buy more things you don’t really need to wipe out your tears. But soon even this wont work, because the world is constantly changing, You dont have to make men your victims because you are the victims of the Social Matrix and pseudo-feminism. Soon men will refuse to be your victims anyway, and you can’t stop this. So insted of concentrating on protecting the system which is screewing you up, ask us men we know the solution, what to do.
Allow me finish that sentence. Just for fun.
“Before women had equal rights . . . .” –>> THEY HAD SPECIAL RIGHTS.
So the question is –>> “Why the fuck would women fight tooth and nail to LOWER their status to ‘EQUAL’ . . . . when throughout history they were always glorified and given SPECIAL privileges”.
If the TITANIC were sinking today,
It would not be “women and children first”.
It would be “WHOEVER COULD GET TO THE LIFE BOAT THE FASTEST”.
I wish to congratulate women everywhere – who proudly think they accomplished something with feminism – for handing over the right TO DROWN ONE OF YOU AND USE YOU AS A LIFE RAFT.
Feminism is a screaming failure.
LMFAO!
Chris,
Seriously though, it would be nice if that is how it was. But the fact is, women RETAIN those SPECIAL RIGHTS while having EQUAL RIGHTS too. This is why women now have rights AND privileges, while men only have OBLIGATIONS.
A good example would be the Draft in the States: while women are over-represented at college and given SPECIAL (i.e. preferential) treatment by the media, the medical profession, the Welfare state, schools (and everywhere else) they are still not obliged to defend the country that gives them those privileges. If a ship was sinking, women would still be first even in a POST-FEMINIST, POST-’EQUALITY’ framework.
I am sure you see my point.
Naturally. I absolutely see your point.
But the beautiful part is -> a man does NOT have ANY obligations to women.
ZERO. NADA. ZILCH. ZIP.
That’s only something women WANT men to believe.
• “You’re supposed to take me out and show me a good time”
• “You’re supposed to treat me like a lady (even when she’s not)”
• “You’re supposed to pay for the dates”
• “You’re supposed to treat me with respect”
No he’s not.
He’s not SUPPOSED to do anything for you selfish cunts.
THAT’S WHERE FEMINISM IS COMPLETE AND TOTAL FAILURE.
Feminism tried.
And feminism FAILED.
Instead of holding the door open for a cunt that won’t even say thank you, you can let a door slam in a woman’s face – and say “OMG I’m really sorry. Are you OK? I didn’t see you there.”
I actually did this about 3 days ago for a girl in my building who I see frequently and I say good morning to. She doesn’t even respond. She’s one of those super-hot girls who think behaving like a cunt is attractive female behavior.
So I let the door bruise her forehead.
And LOOK! Feminism just failed.
Cunt has the bump to prove it.
I have no obligation to extend her ANY courtesy beyond ordinary everyday politeness. And I was polite. I accidentally let the door close on her head and I apologized for that.
You can accidentally NOT marry a woman either.
Men are NOT REQUIRED to pay attention to women.
Men are NOT REQUIRED to fix their flat tires.
Men are NOT REQUIRED to make women happy.
Men are not required to help women with their computers.
Men are NOT EXPECTED to give women what they want.
Men are NOT required to give the women the life boats.
Men are NOT OBLIGATED to women in any way – unless he CHOSES to be obligated.
FEMINISM IS A FAILURE.
If you simply refuse to buy into it – it doesn’t exist.
You are not required to respect women who merely “demand” respect. THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF IT ALL. Just tell a woman to fuck off and get lost. Especially the kind you don’t even care to spend time with.
Obligation gone.
Done.
You don’t HAVE to tell her she’s beautiful.
That’s only something women WANT.
• “I just want a man to love me and respect me, is that too much to ask?”
Proper Male response:
“YES! Its too much to ask!! You don’t ask for that shit. Are you fucking crazy? Don’t you know how to make a man love and respect you or give you anything willingly —>> WITHOUT asking for it?????”
FACT: Most women DON’T.
And that’s why they DEMAND it instead.
She can’t MAKE you respect her,
unless SHE can make you respect her.
Many women – especially American women – have no idea how to earn the respect they demand. None.
And what the fuck is she doing walking up to you and telling you WHAT SHE WANTS??? Does SHE think it’s your obligation TOO???
What would she think if a man responded with:
“I just want you to lick my sweaty balls – is that too much to ask???”
Because even THAT is far less than what these greedy bitches are asking for.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
While that is true at a personal level, at an institutional level women STILL HAVE first access to the lifeboats – their advantage is backed up by the law, and then by the public authorities. The Draft is a good example – males have to register, while women don’t. AND YET – women can vote (in fact, landowning women always could), pursue any career they choose and generally do as they damn well please with near impunity. For example, if a male teacher has an affair with a female pupil he is locked up; while his female counterpart gets away scot-free.
Yes, more and more men are treating women as they deserve as a personal lifestyle choice; but the unmerited privileges they still enjoy are enshrined in LAW and CUSTOM whether we like it or not. Women in the Anglosphere are like the old European aristocracy: omnipotent, entitled and above the law.
YES. EXACTLY.
I totally agree, understand, and IT IS DISGUSTING to me what endless entitlements these bitches have.
And on Christmas Eve a man who decided he wasn’t going to let a greedy cunt get away with it, he set the example with the Santa Claus Massacre.
He dressed up on Christmas Eve., after his divorce of a cunt wife of only 9 months… and he shot her and her family with a shot gun.
THAT is what Feminism Achieved.
Congratulations to all cunts everywhere.
You earned the right to be shot in the face on Christmas eve.
Way to go bitches!
He also shot a CHILD in the face. If that matters to you you fucking coward
Coward? How am I a coward?
There’s a difference “bravery” and “stupidity”.
…. and most women FAIL a cost benefit analysis.
Women are alway calling men “cowards” because they think men are not BRAVE enough to tell the same shit to their face with a shotgun.
Look like someone proved these cunts wrong.
There’s a difference “bravery” and “stupidity”.
The only RISKS worth taking are CALCULATED risks.
And women FAIL a cost benefit analysis.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
I have to agree with the not getting a girlfriend thing. All of my friends who have been in relationships have been hurt by their woman, but have never hurt the woman they’ve loved. I have never met a more barbaric, self-centered, and cruel group of people than women. Let me share some “man wisdom” about the so called “equality” in this country we call the United States. Before women had equal rights, they were treated as delicate creatures, expected to do nothing but cook, clean, and keep children in line. Men were never treated this way back in those days. The men fought the wars, worked the rough jobs, and made important decisions, and were never treated delicately like women. Now, supposedly we’ve made women “equal”(they can get the same job as a man). Here’s the problem. Women still expect to be treated as delicate and fragile, but want to have every right that a man does(right to work wherever she pleases, freedom from sexism). So, logically, if men and women are equal, since women have their rights and are expected to be treated like royalty, shouldn’t men get the same kind of loving and forgiving treatment from society? In theory, if we were equal, yes. Is this a reality? No. We still have to work our asses off only to be treated like shit by shitty women. We are equal before the law, but not before society. Women act like rough, wretched men and are still treated as angels. Men act like men and are treated like men. Sounds like sexism to me.
I’m sorry but I think what you are talking about is rich women.
In the victorian era PREGNANT women worked in coal mines. Not all women were treated “delicately” and the ones who were had husbands who had the legal right to own, beat and rape them. These “delicately” treated women usually had “delicately” treated husbands who rode along on daddy’s coat tails.
Treated as angels? By who? Men are treated like men? By who?
It seems to me your talking about how your own sex treats people. Sorry to break it to you but that isn’t women’s fault.
I have now read every single post on this site and I can only say one thing. Dick, you are my hero. I have found new light in your thoughts. Thanks for saying what we all have known our whole lives. Mantastic
Do you go around worshipping sexual organs? Wtf is wrong with you?
So does this mean you worship dick?
You want a man to do your thinking for you? I think you just burned yourself Amber.
thats why your a virgin
Also have something to add Amazons is the first real incounter of feminism they would kill only males and cut theirs penis off and shove them into the mouths of who they cut them off from the truth is we need each other do not resort to genocide here!
I have something to say to beth or whatever her name really is. Look What I really think is men in a way really are better, but women have their fine points but Number1. Most of the time women are to emotional Number2. Hilary played the gender card which angers me she is setting up boundaries between genders which I knew she would I hypothosized that she would, when she started running for presidential office. And what annoys me is how the double standard like if a man is raped by a teacher(female) they do not take is as serouisly as if it had happend to a member of the female gender. And in medival era men are the only ones that went to war women and children would just be shielded by the man. And men can say women are whores but can still be a headrosexual just because you call a women a hoe or such dosen’t mean you do not enjoy them because the word love holds no meaning women only like two things is he cute? is he rich(money)? No one cares really about each other I live in florida and there are pimp’s hookers prostitutes or strippers and tons of crime and such but where did the love go? Women along the lines turned on their shield (men) have done so much feminism is fucking dumb because what if men do the same More Men’s Rights! women are too sensitive most of the time they thought they didn’t have equal rights and were juged unfairly but that is not true we in times are always juged unfairly gender or race dose not matter but I am not sexist just tired of the sensitivity Tho in my opinion women are works of art. And also I admit women are creators of life but also I think Dick sees women as pets because he dosen’t hate women but makes issues of inferiority well can be viewed as inferiority. And also I think dick made this website cause he is tired of the female baggage cause it is also the issue of African Americans (Black) Blacks don’t feel equaled to white but that is not true And tv television shows, I saw a Television series that is only about African Americans and It is just about daily life people (Black) just getting jobs and being sucessful I mean do they have to broadcast it that they can be sucessful we know they can be they are still realing from past hatreds. When can be bury the Hatchet? This is sensitive that all it is Defending and attacking.But about the pet thing I said I meant that as you have a dog you love him but in your mind your family comes before him you don’t value him as much in truth all life should be valued equally.
doesn’t it make sense to you that men fight a war started by the male leaders?
If women had any say at all in what happened in the war it would’ve made sense for them to fight.
On another note, the men said the women weren’t allowed to fight. So how could they?
Schools have been catering specifically to girls for almost twenty years now. At least they’ve been trying to. According the US News and World Report, despite the educational system trying to cater specifically to young girls, the girls are in worse trouble than ever, becoming more violent and highly sexual at younger ages. Young boys, however, rallied in the adversity of a system that now largely ignores them, and are doing better than ever.
And as far as women being looked over for jobs? Well I know that if I had a company, I would probably pick the man over the woman, but not because she has a vagina. It would be because…
The man is far more likely to be competent, the man is far more likely to be on time, the man is far more likely to have some semblance of loyalty and work ethic for the job at hand, and I have a far smaller chance of having to deal with eventual maternity leave.
I would hire the man because he is BETTER FOR THE JOB. Men are naturally awesome workers (as well as naturally awesome everything else.) Who wouldn’t want the man?
Hell, even ask women. Your average women who calls for a repairman and find she received a repairWOMAN is disappointed.
In Australia, which is where I live, Girls schools quite regularly come up above many high rate Boys schools.
In fact we’ve had three Rhodes Scholars come out of my school.
Girls ‘regularly’ outperform girls at school, and men consistently outperform women in all other fora of education.
I’m sorry but the end of year testing is ranked in the state so if a girl school comes out on top then the girls of that school have out performed many many men.
Rhodes Scholarships are a great honour that has something to do with university not school.
I’ve never heard of the Rhodes scholarship. All I know is that all American universities award 100% of their field medals to men every year.
Also, what do you mean by university? What do you mean by ’something to do’? Does university imply bachelor degrees or masters? If it’s bachelors, then sorry, that doesn’t really count as ‘higher education,’ unless you take into account professional degrees like medicine, law or engineering.
Also, your education system is heavily biased towards women. Ever heard of ‘affirmative action’?
Because they are given preferential treatment.
how so?
In every way. Anglo-American culture is reflexively misandrist.
Don’t know.
Just amused me.
You really believe that? I sure as hell don’t. My dad who is a senior vice president of a company told me he *does* prefer hiring men *BUT* this is only when the tasks involved require physical work. Why? This is because women today cannot handle the simplest of manual labour. Move a bunch of boxes? No, my nails will break. Climb up that ladder? I am afraid of heights.
What kind of bullshit are you trying to pull? I sure as hell don’t believe women are discriminated against in getting jobs. Its fair competition. If the man gets it, it is because he is more competent in some way or another.