Dick Responds: The Mid-Wife Crisis

Marriage is a daily compromise of your money, time, and happiness for the senseless whims of some unpredictable bitch who stopped maturing when she started menstruating.

Short version: Fuck marriage.

Today, I have a new reason why none of you men should get married. And that reason comes from the last place you would ever expect: Oprah Magazine.

Gentlemen, I present the Mid-Wife Crisis. Get ready to see a journalist package self-loathing and selfishness as introspection — and then sell that shit to the dumbest bunch of cows on Earth: readers of Oprah Magazine.

Read this for a reason to say, “I don’t.”

This post is a reply to an article published in Oprah Magazine entitled, “She’s happily married, dreaming of divorce.

What is a Mid-Wife Crisis?

Oprah Magazine calls a “Mid-Wife Crisis” a “period of high irritation” lasting “one to two decades”, in which a married woman is nagged by lingering regrets over her marriage. During this time she constructively “resents the shit out of her husband”, “acts like a little cunt”, and “makes life bitchy and miserable for anyone who gives a shit about her stupid ass.” One to two decades? That means your average Oprah wife is a grumpy, passive-aggressive princess for twice as long as her average marriage!

A “Mid-Wife Crisis” can more easily be explained as every man’s worst nightmare: a sexless marriage that can only be solved by writing a big fucking check.

Today, I’m going to explore this phenomenon as experienced by Ellen Tien of Oprah Magazine. I’m sure you will see (as I have) that all this bullshit is nothing more than the half-assed rantings of a neurotic, 30-something whore who thinks her husband owes her personal happiness.

Your husband is not your personal fucking Santa Claus, Ellen. It’s not his fault you’re miserable. It’s just his fault you have a roof over your head while you pout. Happiness is like orgasms. If you don’t work for it, you don’t get any.

How Can I Have a Mid-Wife Crisis?

In her shitty article, Ellen quotes a small sample of minor grievances and narcissistic assumptions as evidence to support her husband’s general “crapness”. In theory, it is the forced acceptance of this “crapness” through publishing that ultimately validates her own projected feelings of worthlessness. But I’ll get to that later.

“I contemplate divorce every day. It tugs on my sleeve each morning when my husband, Will, greets me in his chipper, smug morning-person voice, because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn’t quite pieced out that I’m not viable before 10 a.m.” -Ellen Tien

Fuck you, bitch. Get out of bed and be glad someone wants to see your fucked-up, ugly ass before Maybelline takes ten years off.

Cunt Buttons

“Not being a morning person” is what I call a Cunt Button. And it’s a collection of these arbitrary Cunt Buttons that make up every woman’s personality. For example, some women “really care about the environment”. That’s a Cunt Button. If you hit it, said girl will act like a total bitch because you left the faucet running for thirty seconds while you brushed your fucking teeth. Big deal. If saving Mother Earth is so important, why don’t you turn your car off at stop lights?

Because women are never cunts to themselves.

Not being a “morning person” is another Cunt Button; one that is commonly found alongside a fanatically practiced morning coffee routine and a confusion between confidence and arrogance. They hand these out in a combo pack at the same place women pick up their Barbie Briefcases. It’s no surprise that Ellen has the first at least!

Fuck your husband for wanting to see you in the morning, right honey? I’m with you. He fucked up by marrying your ass in the first place. Just look at the difference a ring makes.

Married Women Are Old

Here’s another gem.

“…with our 21st-century access to youth …we are still visually tolerable if not downright irresistible when we’re 30 or 35 or 40.” -Ellen Tien

False. None of you fucking broads are worth shit after 26. I’ll humor you to get head. I’ll say whatever it takes to fuck. But not one of you is irresistible. You’re just desperate. To girls with a choice, there’s a difference.

A woman’s self-esteem is maintained by continually burning cash — sometimes by shoving it directly into her ass. Once they’ve been married for a few years, women are so desperate for a free drink, they’ll let any loser with a credit card line up some shots. That’s the grace and beauty of an unmarried 40 year old woman.

Don’t Eat Shit

“Marriage and its cruel cohort, fidelity, are a lot to expect from anyone, much less from swift-flying us.” -Ellen Tien

Women all want to see themselves as whatever would happen if you bred Lucy Lawless with Tina Fey. Some Amazonian freak who’s inner strength was matched only by her inner beauty which was also matched by her inner irresistible quirkiness. And this myth of the over-acheiving, hyper-independant Woman 2.0 is never more prevalent as it is in journalism.

The truth is, women are just as incompetent today as they were fifty years ago. And they’re ten times as desperate for a man. Fuck, today’s modern girl considers herself a spinster at the age of 23. As well she should! If she hasn’t gotten at least one proposal before daddy’s done paying for college, panic sets in like crows feet.

Infidelity and the Call of the Slut is the last refuge of a desperate woman trying to convince herself that she’s having a good time. Women hate sex. It’s easy for them to get and since men will pay for it, it’s a loss if they don’t cash in on the highest bid.

Calling women sluts when they sleep around is like calling Mike Tyson a dickhead for beating up a random guy. Yes ladies, we get it. You’re great boxers. But you’re still fucking sluts. Men sleeping around is like a new Rocky sequel. You know he’s gonna win, but he’s still gonna work his goddamn ass off.

Children: Tools To Shame

“I watch in frustration as my son desperately tries to talk to Will through a newspaper or computer screen or whatever other large, flat surfaces fathers place between themselves and filial communication, and yet I know in my heart that I would be mightily hard-pressed to remove this father from his son’s house.”

Fuck you, Ellen. Children talk about dumb bullshit all day. You can listen to every forth sentence and still know exactly what they’re talking about. If it’s not some goddamn toy they want, it’s some goddamn toy they don’t like. And if it’s not that then it’s something they want attention for. Maybe constant attention isn’t something today’s children need.

When you tell children everything they shit out is a work of art, they turn into mumbling, mush-mouth little pussies who can’t deal with real life. Ellen, you don’t even know how to be a mother properly so shut your goddamn pie hole. Why not learn the basics of motherhood before trying your Papa Hat on and internationally criticizing a man who’s doing a perfectly fine job of ignoring your chatty little brat.

How to be a Mother:

Rule #1 Don’t Remove the Fucking Father

Children without fathers are 100% more likely to fail than their fatherful brethren. We all know that Genius is 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration. But what we don’t know is that Perspiration is 1% having seen the movie Die Hard and 99% having a fucking father around to piss you off. That’s what fathers do. They make you a little pissed off and that makes you kick ass.

“But what if the father is abusive, Dick! That makes your generalized statement wrong in one extreme case, you gay queer. How does it feel to be wrong? Call me!”

If the father is abusive, so is the mother. How the fuck do you think he got there? Either way the kid’s fucked.

Fuck You, Ellen Tien

The real reason all you selfish, con artist wives out there “silently” resent your husbands for one to two decades is because you’re disappointments as wives and mothers and you fucking know it. Get him before he gets you. That’s the game. And there’s no more womanly way to do that than by keeping track of minor grievances.

But you’re women. Why realize any of this and fix it when you could just blame the nearest man, take half his money, and get some dick on the side when circumstances get beyond your control. Right, Ellen? When Oprah Magazine is your conscience, you can sign your own report card.

You know what, don’t, “Fuck you, Ellen Tien.” You’re just a writer filling pages between tampon ads of an emotional smut rag targeted towards the world’s biggest cash cow: American women. Don’t get me wrong, women all over the world are just as stupid as American women — and hate responsibility just as much — there just aren’t as many of them and international distribution is a pain in the ass.

Oprah

Instead, fuck you Oprah. I fucked your psychiatrist. I’ll fuck you too.

Marriage is Retirement for Women

The reason not-so-happily married women don’t work for their own happiness is because women see marriage as retirement.

That’s why the number of bridal magazines outnumber finance magazines 140 to 97. They’re both covering the same thing: retirement, women just need extra instruction. Men are better than women.

Manclusion: The “Good Woman”

Dr. Phil told me that all I needed was a “good woman” and I would shut my ass up — and possibly feel stupid for saying so many hilarious and 100% true things all these years. I want all you men to look at the woman who wrote this article. She’s clearly “good” enough to maintain a job as a writer. She’s clearly “good” enough to not be swinging around a pole for dollar bills ya’ll. She’s clearly “good” enough to think she’s not a skank. But how good is a “good” woman really?

Any woman with a Mid-Wife Crisis is a petulant little bitch who can’t accept that being happy isn’t someone else’s responsibility. It’s not a husband’s responsibility to make his fucking wife happy. It’s a husband’s responsibility to not act like a dickhead on purpose.

Apparently, a “good woman” isn’t good enough to realize that. Way to go Phil. You really fucking nailed that one.

She’s happily married, dreaming of divorce.
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583 Comments in 88 threads.»

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Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 20:22:05 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

What “no woman” rule? This should tell you something.

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 21:02:08 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Women are forbidden from this site to protect their feeble tiny brains. Truth is kryptonite for women.

Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 03:29:38 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Women are forbidden from this site? So, who’s minding the store?

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 04:43:49 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

No one needs to mind the store. Though you are forbidden, it is for your own good, not for ours. Since we are men, we believe in free speech. Appropriately, Dick has chosen not to filter comments, so that even women have the opportunity to voice their views, regardless of how silly, fanciful or hateful those views are.

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Comment by Bravo!
2008-08-31 20:18:43 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

I wonder when Commander Scott and Muzalon get together, who brings the lube and who gets to play”Piggy”. :)

Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 20:22:59 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Maybe they’re nice and take turns!

 
Comment by Benignbullet
2008-09-02 01:11:58 - IP Man-Hash: 540f95f4d5a0c

My guess is that once you and SHareya get over there, Commander Scott and Muzalon will recoil in terror, kick you and your pig out, and get back to playing cards.

 
 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 18:17:26 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Does JJ have all the rules memorized for buttsex? Bet he does. He can join the Fab Five, making the Sexy Six as the “Rules Martinet.”

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 20:10:38 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

R2-AC/GC

Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 20:23:49 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

See what I mean? He really IS ‘that way’!

 
 
Comment by SMashy
2008-08-31 22:44:53 - IP Man-Hash: c7b307297ee32

See women hate faggots. Maybe that is the only thing good about women, they hate faggots.

They also hate themselves and other women, and kids, and men, and the elderly.

I guess cats were never better cared for and loved than in post feminist dystopian america,

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 23:14:37 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

LOL Smashy. Thats some serious shit.

Comment by Take your fecal
2008-09-01 02:22:49 - IP Man-Hash: 58126eab5b835

games elsewhere you sick fucks.

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Comment by boris
2008-08-31 16:58:02 - IP Man-Hash: fb4157454c7bb

o hai guyz

Comment by Bravo!
2008-08-31 17:16:05 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

They are all bent over, waiting for your puny tool, boy. Give it something good, boy……….

Comment by Arbalest
2008-08-31 19:09:57 - IP Man-Hash: 8463b92aa6c53

http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/women-hate-gay-men

Dick proving again how easy it is to predict women when they’re mad at something.

Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 20:12:14 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

And just what do gay men do that benefits women? How about cultural appropriation, like when white people want to hold sweat lodges and dance in pow-wows. Sorry, there are dues to be paid. Other than that, they compete with us for jobs and are way cattier and treacherous than we ever thought to be. Never turn your back on one. They network.

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Comment by Arbalest
2008-08-31 22:03:18 - IP Man-Hash: 8463b92aa6c53

Heard of paranoia kiddo? Seriously, gay men, no men in general have better things to do than plan some high end coup like you fantisize. Seriously, you’re not that important or threatening so get over yourself.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 22:31:44 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Ahaha. Notice though she tries another game of three card monty. Let’s not admit..hey you know you are right I should not use gay men to mock you men. That really just says I hate gay men. …Instead she is going to do, like all women do, turn it around on someone else.

Everyone competes for jobs. God, she really proves that women hate gay men. Amazing the prejudice that will come out of a woman’s mouth.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 03:32:09 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

What’s wrong with being aware of a rival faction? You ever played office politics hardball? No? Or maybe you never won. It ain’t about who’s good and who’s not. Get your head out of the porn mag and you’d see that.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 04:47:05 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Still not admitting that you hate gay men.

I don’t need to play office politics, I work for a living.You should try it sometime.

 
Comment by Bravo!
2008-09-01 07:19:47 - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab

Oh, you work? REALLY? Does stating that make your puny little unloved penis feel really BIG and MASSIVE?
Get help, idiot. It’s pathetic pukes like you that make one hate the human race. :(

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 10:04:34 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Anyone who thinks that work and ability alone will be enough in a corporate setting must never have held an actual job.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 11:14:14 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

You must think that all corporations are incredibly large. You must also think that even in the large ones, incredible skill goes unnoticed. I’m very good at what I do, so I don’t need to play politics. It’s been tried on me before and I let them all know I’m there to get a job done. I don’t need to play any politics beyond that kind of statement to someone.

Bravo! Since I am Irish, I most definitely do have a small penis. However, it is not puny little. That would be OVER estimating its size. Studies have shown that Irish men and men of Irish descent have amongst the smallest penises on the planet. One well known scientific study labeled them “Itty fuckin bitty”. The Good Lord gave us tiny penises because we are fuck all amazing. So, in order to boost the confidence of menu of other races, he less endowed us in one area. Still, we are so far superior in every other way that it’s hardly worked.

I am assuming Bravo! is a woman. Only a woman would think that ANY penis is “unloved.” Ever man knows how much loved his penis is, both by himself and by women. Women are as eager for cock, ANY cock (even a paltry Irish cock) as they are for air. It’s like nitrous oxide to them. It’s cocaine mixed with heroin and a dab of chocolate. Sometimes literally.

Gonna have to do better sugar tits.

Sheerah, think about how the low depths of pathetic your statement here really has sunk. I mean for cryin out loud “an actual job.” Please, You are capable of so much more than these useless retorts.

 
 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 20:13:37 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Arbalest, Yeah I say it more simply now: L2, that is Laws of Women, Law 2.

The predictability of a woman’s responses here is matched only by the predictability of her decline with age.

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Comment by Bravo!
2008-08-31 20:20:52 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

Again, in proper english, retard. :)

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 20:26:09 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Da boi JJ don’t know jack. That much is obvious. The real women of earth will ovulate and conceive without him. That’s a good thing. He shouldn’t use his real name. If he’s using someone else’s name, he should stop and apologize. Should I look into his ID?

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 21:07:29 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

I am very public sugar. It’s silly to presume that I want a woman to ovulate or conceive for me. It’s more intelligent to refuse breeding with a female. You’ll actually rarely find a dude asking a woman to have a baby. It’s generally the woman, in her sick, sad desire to be cared for, that she harps upon a man to have a child.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 03:36:04 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Then I can sigh with relief - this kind won’t reproduce. We will bread from the ones who are human, those missing that piece will vanish from the earth over time. As I am hearing they just about have, from the caterwauling of the ‘men’ here. The days of Conan are long gone. The future is ours, not yours. Your clubs and your pelts can be stored in mothballs. The Amish have doubled in the last 16 yers (it was in the news, you saw it, right?). Other subgroups are continuing to multiply, economy notwithstanding. Just not your kind. Fine with us.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 04:45:14 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

The days of Conan never were. Conan is fantasy.

 
Comment by Bravo!
2008-09-01 08:53:30 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

I bet Frantzy boy wishes he had the “Arnuld’s” dick. :)

Bet Dick is jealous cause his widdle boyfriend doesn’t want his smelly wanker anymore. Awh.

 
 
 
 
 
Comment by Somebody neuter Chris.
2008-08-31 13:44:03 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

Shithead, my grandmother had 5 (can you count that high, stupid?) children in her forties. I have 4 girlfriends who had babies in their forties. Look around you, women can have babies up to menopause, idiot. Man, you are one STUPID, jealous crud.

P.S. 2 of my aunts are doctors, 1 is a lawyer, the other two are successful business owners. Jealous much, fucktard? LOL

Comment by Sal
2008-08-31 13:54:30 - IP Man-Hash: 5df6f6fd6cd51

Learn to use the reply function appropriately, please.

 
Comment by Muzalon
2008-08-31 14:04:09 - IP Man-Hash: 7ef64dc45ee81

Considering most of your family are mongoloids, I find that most unlikely.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 14:17:12 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Men diss the childbearing and rearing functions of women because a) they can’t produce children and aren’t immortal, therefore do the math [they need us for something after all], and b) they lack the perseverence for the day-to-day minutia of raising the kids they cause. Three score and ten, guys. Oh, wait, we live longer too.

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 15:02:44 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

This is the dumbest shit a mangina or woman has ever said on here. Men do produce children. Without men, there would be no children. However, the same is NOT true of women. Already artificial womb technology has been demonstrated to work.

Further, while men CURRENTLY need women to produce children, that is ALL we need them to do. EVERYTHING that has been done besides gestating a fetus, has been done by a man.

Again Law 2.

Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 15:11:05 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

When you get your artificial womb farm going, good riddance to you. What you are forgetting is that we may seize on to such technology with more gusto than you. If you imagine women not appreciating you now, just wait. And, the list of things that women can do that men have done grows longer and longer. Filled out that Taliban application yet?

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Comment by Bravo!
2008-08-31 18:00:15 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

Sheerah, you are brilliant! Just brilliant!! :)

 
Comment by He-Man
2008-08-31 20:40:11 - IP Man-Hash: e0f0a45876d85

You’re not allowed to post here because these subjects are too heavy for the feeble female brain to comprehend. You dont even comprehend the stupid shit that comes out of your own mouth.

The only thing lower than the standard American female is a dyke. You want to munch on each others carpet, fuck off this site.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 21:00:36 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Women are really unable to seize on anything without the assistance of a man. Even the misandric laws that have been passed are so wildly successful only because men are the ones passing and enforcing them. You women were unable to accomplish these things on your own, despite having greater numbers at the polls. So men had to step in and help you. And look how few men it actually took.

Your original statements here demonstrate the well known fact that, currently, the only thing women are good for is breeding. Thus, fucking. It is why we do not see women making statements about other things that men cannot do without women. We’d never see someone say “Without women you’d not be able to build that bridge!!!” Or, “Without women you could not build the internet!” Why is this? Because everyone knows that such statements are simply untrue. If all women workers went home today, the world would carry on with nary a bump. Thus, women have to stomp their feet like small children and insist that we need their wombs.

Except, that *we* don’t need their wombs. Nor their vaginas. Some men *want* their vaginas. Even fewer of us *want* their wombs. Men are opting out of marriage, cohabiting and dating in record numbers. Today’s modern feminist has demonstrated that her worth lies entirely in her fuckability rating. This rating is related to a number of facts, age being one of them. After 23 her fuckability rating drops dramatically. Another contributing factor is her ability to shut the fuck up. Those that are smart enough for a few hours to moan, instead of talking, find that more quality men are willing to fuck and chuck. Those that insist on not shutting the fuck up, do find a man that’s willing still, but the degree of his desirability and the intensity of his desperateness to fuck anything with a vagina is matched, only by her incredibly overarching need for *any* wiling cock. It is for this reason that women flee into the arms of abusive wicked men. She does this with the sort of senseless glee only a woman could have at the prospect that she’s about to fuck herself up royally. Women love these leeches on society, because, such a man is at least truthful. He sees her as no more valuable than she sees herself. His loathing of her, matches her own self-loathing. And of course the intensity of loathing that all her sisters fling upon her, for make no mistake gentlemen, no one loathes a woman more, than another woman.

A good example of this desperate mindset of the modern female, is the reactions of females to Dick’s post here. Most will not say, you are right, the woman in that article trivializes her marriage. Even though it is clearly evident that she does. Women expect men to stick with them no matter the extent of their bad and disgusting behavior. Yet, they are quite willing to contemplate divorce for reasons as minimalist as a shirt buttoned wrong. Were a man to be so shallow as to leave a woman because her blouse was as misshapen as her ever aging and fatting figure, the harpy brigade would be seething, claws slashing at the air, mouths foaming. The abundant lack of morality of women is demonstrated in the fact that for a mere pittance of coin from the government, she will sell out her husband, her children, and even her own life.

And so it is that we have so many women living in utter squalor, desperate in the lowest degrees of poverty that they have inflicted upon themselves and their children through sheer personal hatred. Only a woman could hate herself so much, that she would destroy any chance she has at happiness, fulfillment and a life of utter ease. Then she is reduced to begging pitifully at the hands of any man for the slightest touch which will allow her to pretend that some man, somewhere, in some fashion, is interested actually in her, and not simply ejaculating in her ear or nasal cavity. This sad display gives her a few moments of respite from her debased condition as she clutches for the last remaining seconds of “affection” she’s fantasizes she’s been offered. This condition grows only worse and more disgusting as she grows ages. Women age terribly.

No, women will not fare well with the open availability of artificial wombs. Their uselessness to men will then be fully complete. Whereas now their usefulness is at about .00666%, at that time in the future it will be a sad 0.

Of course some men then will happily purchase a female slave just for its entertainment value. Which is really all a woman has now, or has ever had, entertainment value.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 03:40:55 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Men may be opting out in record numbers, but those numbers are tiny. And, we are breeding with the ones who didn’t. Who cares about the woman in that article? The whoring press will always seize upon something they can whip up into a ‘trend’ if they think it will sell an ad. The vast majority of men are still willing to cut deals with woman and still enjoy their company just because, and that is more than sufficient for us to ride our your lifespans.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 04:49:58 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Actually Irlandes posted those numbers. They are not tiny. HUGE numbers of men are refusing marriage. We’re not talking press here sugartits, but numbers.

We’re fine with women having longer lifespans. Men burn the candle at all four ends and get amazing shit done. Women are incredibly lazy fucks who live off of others. We’ve a term for that in science, it’s called woman.

 
Comment by Bravo!
2008-09-01 07:25:11 - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab

Women have longer lifespans because they deserve peace and quiet after working hard and solely raising their families.
You pieces of shit wouldn’t know work if somebody spelled it out VERY, VERY slowly to you. You don’t have egos or balls, so you have to put others down to make your pathetic selves seem useful. But you are useless, and you filthy, jealous, lazy PRICKS know that. ROFLOL

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 10:12:42 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Yeah, they get a lot done. Loud noises, explosions, fights, revving engines, burning hydrocarbons like they were getting paid to do it (and some of them are, but not as many as them that do it), whining about their hurt feelings, licking their wounds, telling women they don’t want them (like we are going to beg them to come back or something), bragging, hanging out with other men who do all of the above and then some, yeah, men have busy days.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 11:17:55 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

You’re opposed to burning hydrocarbons? I hope then that you have actually reduced your carbon footprint. I certainly have reduced mine.

Sugartits, no one wants you to beg for anything from us. You’re old, which means you’re likely fat and most certainly ugly, thus useless.

Besides the things you listed what other shit do men get done? Little things, like, building the entire world.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 12:46:15 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Me reduce my carbon footprint? I’ve been driving high mpg low emission vehicles for 10 years, putting plastic on my windows, turning the thermostat WAY down (just enough to keep pipes from freezing) and I just bought the poles for a clothesline. Are we trading tips here? Of course, us old dames don’t like the heat turned up anyhow, so it works out good for us.

 
Comment by Commander Scott
2008-09-01 12:51:54 - IP Man-Hash: 8292fb1246b05

Fuck all women.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 13:44:43 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Certainly we are trading tips. I walk just about everywhere. So I one up your low emission vehicle. Is it the same vehicle or have you bout a new one in those years? A new vehicle takes about 10 thousand gallons of gasoline worth of emissions to produce. Buying used vehicles can save drastically on this as well.

I don’t put plastic up. That’s a terrible way to save emissions because of the emissions created to produce the plastic. UNLESS you are using the same plastic over and over. I just wear extra clothes and keep the heat MODERATE…actually about 50. You should know that that number. It’s an age you once were, remember, when you were young and attractive. Even then I only run the heat when it’s absolutely blisteringly cold out. Then I mostly just run it because I have cats.

Did you buy the poles used? I hope so.

Notice how we can be civil, even to old disgusting hags like yourself, when you are at least slightly reasonable. Men are better than women at being civil. We’re even better than women at being assholes, as myself, Commander Scott and Smashy prove consistently.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 13:59:08 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

I raise you one: over the last 10 years I’ve bought two cars - used. Low emissions, high mpg both of them. No new cars. I keep them running beyond all natural expectations.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 15:27:25 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

I see your raise and raise you yet again. I’ve NEVER bought a new car. All of my cars have been fuel efficient. In 20 years I’ve owned 6 used cars. Now I own none.

 
 
 
 
Comment by SMashy
2008-08-31 15:24:49 - IP Man-Hash: 42d8cffc259ba

Listen here you fucking malignant cunt. This is the fucking simple science to it you fucking childish slut….

Woman is alive for 16 years and has child, her part of the DNA is young and healthy. Throughout homo sapiens’ evolution young DNA was used to produce thousands of generations ok you cunt?

It is documented that first born children to young mothers live the longest out of any human beings.

It is documented that mothers over 40 have the most retarded babies.

Fuck you, you pathetic motherfucking cunt, you are so fucking useless, kill yourself and donate your organs and put yourself to some use.

Comment by Feels great, don't it,
2008-08-31 15:37:18 - IP Man-Hash: 58126eab5b835

to get all that hate out? redtube.com. Get productive.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 16:04:45 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Actually, the statistics show that while the odds of mishaps increases with age, the odds are still overwhelmingly in favor of a healthy child even in the 40s (and later). Exageration to make a point is evidence of sloppy, emotional thinking. Yes, I mean you.

Comment by He-Man
2008-08-31 20:42:54 - IP Man-Hash: e0f0a45876d85

Who the fuck wants to have a kid with a woman over 25?

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Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 21:04:01 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

We call them manginas.

 
Comment by Bravo!
2008-09-01 08:59:55 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

Ask the fathers of the 4 out of 5 men who father children with women over 25 years old, shit. :) Not that any thinking woman wants anything to do with a fat, repulsively ugly, vile, stupid thing like you. :)

 
 
Comment by SMashy
2008-08-31 22:36:09 - IP Man-Hash: c7b307297ee32

Mishaps? You fucking spastic cunt? I wasn’t just referring to birth ‘mishaps’ you pathetic scum, children born to fucking old hags are more susceptible to a HOST of diseases THROUGHOUT LIFE. IE: 80 years and it will play out this century just how fucking susceptible ok you malignancy?

Cancer, more likely if you are MADE OUT OF OLD DIESEL FUME AND CONTRACEPTIVE PILL AND PROZAC AND MAKEUP COSMETIC POLLUTED DNA.

It’s called body burden. You fucking malignancy.

I hope you are brutally raped by ten coons.

You’d probably love that.

Now go and create a test tube baby with two 48 year old lezzer’s polluted DNA you fucking polluted minge.

I want to see your fucking skull cracked open with a tire iron watermelon style.

You know nothing. Because your brain is smaller than a mans.

And you sit down to piss out your prozac laden urine which then washes through the ocean into dolphins hearts.

You rotten woman. Nothing but hate for those that are so far from great.

You were dead to the upward surge of mankind the moment you were born a western woman.

Go look in the mirror while you are driving.

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Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 03:43:42 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Questionable science will get you nowhere. Dream on as to the defectiveness of children of older women. You are imagining the world you want, to justify your views, but that doesn’t make it true. You are fantasizing out loud, in ways you need to tone down in public. Does someone have to come up with a list of great people born to mothers older than their mid twenties?

 
 
 
 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 15:38:27 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

God help us all then.

 
 
Comment by Dick/Prick certainly not real men
2008-08-31 13:06:51 - IP Man-Hash: e79bbbb6f2d40

on the contrary, uneducated shit. :) God, you are so stupid. :) Die young, pretty please? :)

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 15:03:21 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

L2.

 
 
Comment by AJ
2008-08-31 08:29:10 - IP Man-Hash: 99db3cbd416b7

I only read maybe half of Tien’s article (the extreme levels of snarkiness, run-on sentences and self-satisfaction in her writing style were just too much to handle). But, in at least three of the examples she gives as to why she secretly hates her husband, she’s angry at the guy for doing something that benefits her.

1) She’s pissed that he wakes her up and says good morning before 10am. This may just be so that he can get to work at a reasonable time (apparently Oprah magazine has some pretty lenient hours… or maybe Ellen just grabs a little shuteye at the office or does the daily jumble or something, since she clearly isn’t “viable” at such an ungodly hour). Would Ellen really be happier if her husband quit his job so that they could both sleep in every day? Short of that, would she be happier if he fed into her shitty attitude every morning by losing his apparently sincere proactive attitude?

2) He messes up his shirt buttons. Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, men have to work for a living. This not only includes getting up early but also putting on, in many cases, a collared shirt. Women can basically wear whatever the fuck they want and call it formal because they have no concrete standards for formality. Whereas Steve Jobs had to make a shitload of money before he could stop wearing buttoned shirts, women can pretty much make it up as they go along.

Ellen seems to have written herself a pass on attendance for anything that occurs before 10am. And yet, she is quick to judge her husband very harshly during this time frame. This goes for the instance when he wasn’t listening to their kid too.

3) Lastly, getting hit by the car. The only reason that Ellen was in front of the car (a likely place to be hit by it) was because her husband was dropping her off at the restaurant. This is a commonplace, selfless maneuver carried out by husbands with cars everywhere. It allows the wife to avoid the treacherous 10-yard walk from the parking space to the restaurant while the husband takes care of the grunt work often associated with parking a car. Everybody wins because the woman can keep her body movement to a minimum and feel pampered and the man gets to do what he knows he’s supposed to do.

Regardless, Ellen got hit by a car because her husband was doing something for her that she didn’t want to do for herself. This is actually the case for all of her grievances, yet she’s capable only of thinking about herself. Yes, maybe her husband makes little fuckups here and there. But it’s pretty easy to avoid fucking up when you don’t DO ANYthing, isn’t it Ellen?

Another possibility is that her husband does all of these things on purpose because maybe, just maybe, he secretly hates her for being such a cunt all the time. Sadly, what’s more likely is that he just doesn’t give a shit anymore. Ellen Tien has, over the years, sapped her husband’s will to control his own life, forcing him to turn his brain on autopilot until he either dies or his wife (finally) gives him that divorce.

Maybe if more women made an effort to be book smart rather than magazine “smart”, these kinds of shitty, self-absorbed opinions wouldn’t be rewarded and propagated.

Comment by Sal
2008-08-31 11:37:43 - IP Man-Hash: 5df6f6fd6cd51

“Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, men have to work for a living. This not only includes getting up early but also putting on, in many cases, a collared shirt. Women can basically wear whatever the fuck they want and call it formal because they have no concrete standards for formality.”

This is one of the damn truest things I’ve ever read. Women think every single day is Casual Friday. They wouldn’t know how to look professional in the workplace if it slapped them in the face. That’s why they say such ridiculous bullshit as - and I quote - “I need to find some sexy work shoes” or “I don’t have anything nice to wear, I need to look sexy to work.”

What the fuck? The office is about working, you stupid cunts. The floorspace is not a catwalk for the retarded. Jesus. Women fuck up everything. What used to be a place where men worked their asses of to collectively and individually achieve goals, it’s now full of chattering, gabbing, moronic females who have no idea who to dress appropriately, and never do any work.

Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 15:07:57 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Ever had to sit through a woman getting ready for work? It takes them an hour to fucking PICK something to work. If your office is casual this is a man’s definition of finding something to wear:

Step 1. Pick up the pants of the floor.
Step 2. Sniff them. If they smell return to step 1.
Step 3. Put the fuckin pants on and get yo bitch azz to work.

How the fuck hard is that shit?

Comment by Sheerah
2008-08-31 15:22:56 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

How about wash your pants, put them in a drawer or hang them, then you can skip the sniffing step and never have the danger of going through all the pants on your floor. Your carpet will wear out faster, though, if you don’t cover it with pants or shirts or something.

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Comment by He-Man
2008-08-31 20:51:21 - IP Man-Hash: e0f0a45876d85

YOU wash his pants you useless fat bitch.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-08-31 21:10:50 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

He-man, women are not particularly good at much of anything. Cleaning is one in a long list of things we’d not waste our time allowing a woman to do.

 
Comment by Chris
2008-08-31 21:18:30 - IP Man-Hash: bfb1a642aa2b9

How about you remind yourself of ALL THE USELESS UNECESSARY CUNT STUNTS you “wish” men would perform for you.

Count them.
It’s OK . . . I’ll wait.

Now, pick up his fucking pants and hang them once in a while you greedy fucking cow.

 
Comment by Sheerah
2008-09-01 03:45:59 - IP Man-Hash: da092f34816ad

Now the men who claim total self sufficiency and omnipotent power to create everything and do without women are yelling at a women to clean and pick up their pants? I love it. Make up your minds. Maybe you can automate laundry along with the artificial womb farm.

 
Comment by Joseph James Frantz
2008-09-01 05:24:55 - IP Man-Hash: 843c6f66c2e88

Laundry is already automated. Only a woman would think the following steps are work:
1.Open lid.
2.Drop clothes in.
3.Put in powder.
4.Turn Knob.
5.Watch tv.
6.Eat bon bons.

I do my own laundry, eat my own bon bons, watch my own Tv. I clean my own home, cook my own meals. None of these things are difficult and women are easily replaced.

Yet no men claim total self sufficiency. See, it is women that stomp their little feet, aint she cute, and insist they don’t need anyone and they are independent. Men understand the nature of interdependence. We understand that we need each other, because men get fantastic shit done. Sometimes that shit is incredibly complex like the internet, brain surgery, and sending spacecrafts to Mars. Other times it is incredibly simple like laundry or getting dressed. In all cases a woman is completely befuddled.

Even the use of simple terms like “self sufficiency” and “omnipotent” she gets wrong.

Chris, she cannot even hang her OWN pants, please lets not set her on my pants, she’s bound to fuck it up somehow. However, I bet she can hang her skirt, from her head, while wearing it. Women are good at begging for a man’s touch ins such obvious disgusting ways.

On last thought, how much you want to bet that she’s incredibly fat?