Dick Responds: The Mid-Wife Crisis
Marriage is a daily compromise of your money, time, and happiness for the senseless whims of some unpredictable bitch who stopped maturing when she started menstruating.
Short version: Fuck marriage.
Today, I have a new reason why none of you men should get married. And that reason comes from the last place you would ever expect: Oprah Magazine.
Gentlemen, I present the Mid-Wife Crisis. Get ready to see a journalist package self-loathing and selfishness as introspection — and then sell that shit to the dumbest bunch of cows on Earth: readers of Oprah Magazine.
Read this for a reason to say, “I don’t.”
This post is a reply to an article published in Oprah Magazine entitled, “She’s happily married, dreaming of divorce.”
What is a Mid-Wife Crisis?
Oprah Magazine calls a “Mid-Wife Crisis” a “period of high irritation” lasting “one to two decades”, in which a married woman is nagged by lingering regrets over her marriage. During this time she constructively “resents the shit out of her husband”, “acts like a little cunt”, and “makes life bitchy and miserable for anyone who gives a shit about her stupid ass.” One to two decades? That means your average Oprah wife is a grumpy, passive-aggressive princess for twice as long as her average marriage!
A “Mid-Wife Crisis” can more easily be explained as every man’s worst nightmare: a sexless marriage that can only be solved by writing a big fucking check.
Today, I’m going to explore this phenomenon as experienced by Ellen Tien of Oprah Magazine. I’m sure you will see (as I have) that all this bullshit is nothing more than the half-assed rantings of a neurotic, 30-something whore who thinks her husband owes her personal happiness.
Your husband is not your personal fucking Santa Claus, Ellen. It’s not his fault you’re miserable. It’s just his fault you have a roof over your head while you pout. Happiness is like orgasms. If you don’t work for it, you don’t get any.
How Can I Have a Mid-Wife Crisis?
In her shitty article, Ellen quotes a small sample of minor grievances and narcissistic assumptions as evidence to support her husband’s general “crapness”. In theory, it is the forced acceptance of this “crapness” through publishing that ultimately validates her own projected feelings of worthlessness. But I’ll get to that later.
“I contemplate divorce every day. It tugs on my sleeve each morning when my husband, Will, greets me in his chipper, smug morning-person voice, because after 16 years of waking up together, he still hasn’t quite pieced out that I’m not viable before 10 a.m.” -Ellen Tien
Fuck you, bitch. Get out of bed and be glad someone wants to see your fucked-up, ugly ass before Maybelline takes ten years off.
Cunt Buttons
“Not being a morning person” is what I call a Cunt Button. And it’s a collection of these arbitrary Cunt Buttons that make up every woman’s personality. For example, some women “really care about the environment”. That’s a Cunt Button. If you hit it, said girl will act like a total bitch because you left the faucet running for thirty seconds while you brushed your fucking teeth. Big deal. If saving Mother Earth is so important, why don’t you turn your car off at stop lights?
Because women are never cunts to themselves.
Not being a “morning person” is another Cunt Button; one that is commonly found alongside a fanatically practiced morning coffee routine and a confusion between confidence and arrogance. They hand these out in a combo pack at the same place women pick up their Barbie Briefcases. It’s no surprise that Ellen has the first at least!
Fuck your husband for wanting to see you in the morning, right honey? I’m with you. He fucked up by marrying your ass in the first place. Just look at the difference a ring makes.
Married Women Are Old
Here’s another gem.
“…with our 21st-century access to youth …we are still visually tolerable if not downright irresistible when we’re 30 or 35 or 40.” -Ellen Tien
False. None of you fucking broads are worth shit after 26. I’ll humor you to get head. I’ll say whatever it takes to fuck. But not one of you is irresistible. You’re just desperate. To girls with a choice, there’s a difference.
A woman’s self-esteem is maintained by continually burning cash — sometimes by shoving it directly into her ass. Once they’ve been married for a few years, women are so desperate for a free drink, they’ll let any loser with a credit card line up some shots. That’s the grace and beauty of an unmarried 40 year old woman.
Don’t Eat Shit
“Marriage and its cruel cohort, fidelity, are a lot to expect from anyone, much less from swift-flying us.” -Ellen Tien
Women all want to see themselves as whatever would happen if you bred Lucy Lawless with Tina Fey. Some Amazonian freak who’s inner strength was matched only by her inner beauty which was also matched by her inner irresistible quirkiness. And this myth of the over-acheiving, hyper-independant Woman 2.0 is never more prevalent as it is in journalism.
The truth is, women are just as incompetent today as they were fifty years ago. And they’re ten times as desperate for a man. Fuck, today’s modern girl considers herself a spinster at the age of 23. As well she should! If she hasn’t gotten at least one proposal before daddy’s done paying for college, panic sets in like crows feet.
Infidelity and the Call of the Slut is the last refuge of a desperate woman trying to convince herself that she’s having a good time. Women hate sex. It’s easy for them to get and since men will pay for it, it’s a loss if they don’t cash in on the highest bid.
Calling women sluts when they sleep around is like calling Mike Tyson a dickhead for beating up a random guy. Yes ladies, we get it. You’re great boxers. But you’re still fucking sluts. Men sleeping around is like a new Rocky sequel. You know he’s gonna win, but he’s still gonna work his goddamn ass off.
Children: Tools To Shame
“I watch in frustration as my son desperately tries to talk to Will through a newspaper or computer screen or whatever other large, flat surfaces fathers place between themselves and filial communication, and yet I know in my heart that I would be mightily hard-pressed to remove this father from his son’s house.”
Fuck you, Ellen. Children talk about dumb bullshit all day. You can listen to every forth sentence and still know exactly what they’re talking about. If it’s not some goddamn toy they want, it’s some goddamn toy they don’t like. And if it’s not that then it’s something they want attention for. Maybe constant attention isn’t something today’s children need.
When you tell children everything they shit out is a work of art, they turn into mumbling, mush-mouth little pussies who can’t deal with real life. Ellen, you don’t even know how to be a mother properly so shut your goddamn pie hole. Why not learn the basics of motherhood before trying your Papa Hat on and internationally criticizing a man who’s doing a perfectly fine job of ignoring your chatty little brat.
How to be a Mother:
Rule #1 Don’t Remove the Fucking Father
Children without fathers are 100% more likely to fail than their fatherful brethren. We all know that Genius is 1% Inspiration and 99% Perspiration. But what we don’t know is that Perspiration is 1% having seen the movie Die Hard and 99% having a fucking father around to piss you off. That’s what fathers do. They make you a little pissed off and that makes you kick ass.
“But what if the father is abusive, Dick! That makes your generalized statement wrong in one extreme case, you gay queer. How does it feel to be wrong? Call me!”
If the father is abusive, so is the mother. How the fuck do you think he got there? Either way the kid’s fucked.
Fuck You, Ellen Tien
The real reason all you selfish, con artist wives out there “silently” resent your husbands for one to two decades is because you’re disappointments as wives and mothers and you fucking know it. Get him before he gets you. That’s the game. And there’s no more womanly way to do that than by keeping track of minor grievances.
But you’re women. Why realize any of this and fix it when you could just blame the nearest man, take half his money, and get some dick on the side when circumstances get beyond your control. Right, Ellen? When Oprah Magazine is your conscience, you can sign your own report card.
You know what, don’t, “Fuck you, Ellen Tien.” You’re just a writer filling pages between tampon ads of an emotional smut rag targeted towards the world’s biggest cash cow: American women. Don’t get me wrong, women all over the world are just as stupid as American women — and hate responsibility just as much — there just aren’t as many of them and international distribution is a pain in the ass.
Oprah
Instead, fuck you Oprah. I fucked your psychiatrist. I’ll fuck you too.
Marriage is Retirement for Women
The reason not-so-happily married women don’t work for their own happiness is because women see marriage as retirement.
That’s why the number of bridal magazines outnumber finance magazines 140 to 97. They’re both covering the same thing: retirement, women just need extra instruction. Men are better than women.
Manclusion: The “Good Woman”
Dr. Phil told me that all I needed was a “good woman” and I would shut my ass up — and possibly feel stupid for saying so many hilarious and 100% true things all these years. I want all you men to look at the woman who wrote this article. She’s clearly “good” enough to maintain a job as a writer. She’s clearly “good” enough to not be swinging around a pole for dollar bills ya’ll. She’s clearly “good” enough to think she’s not a skank. But how good is a “good” woman really?
Any woman with a Mid-Wife Crisis is a petulant little bitch who can’t accept that being happy isn’t someone else’s responsibility. It’s not a husband’s responsibility to make his fucking wife happy. It’s a husband’s responsibility to not act like a dickhead on purpose.
Apparently, a “good woman” isn’t good enough to realize that. Way to go Phil. You really fucking nailed that one.
She’s happily married, dreaming of divorce.
Magazine Trends
Related Articles:
Pages: « 5 [4] 3 2 1 » Show All
I fully support you, Dick. Ya’know what bullshit? Us men have nipples and slightly developed breasts(ya, that’s right). Men really shouldn’t have any estrogen within, we should be fucking 100% man. BTW, every little invention a woman has ever come up with was just the testosterone acting up. Viceversa for us.
We have DHT which is anti-estrogen ,if you have breasts than you’re severely affected by the chemicals in the today products and food.
You should go and check your testosterone and estrogen levels because if you have breasts than you have huge imbalance in hormones.
Then take some medicinal herbs which block estrogen and increase testosterone, and then you’ll be 100% a man.
And those very,very,very few women who did some insignificant things were mutants and the proof is that today women are as useless as always.
I know that it should not amaze me, because I should just expect it from a man. But, the manwisdom flowing from the words of some of you bastards like Kalel, Chris, Smashy, Captain Orbit or whatever the fuck his name is, just makes me so fuckin proud to be a man . Sniff.
In response to: the proof is that today women are as useless as always.
I love it!!!! And guess what…I am a woman…just not an every day woman. I strongly agree. I only disagree at one thing….you all seem really angry. Yes we are fucked up and yes we ask way too much of you but if you really feel that strongly about how fucked up we are what does that say about you? If it wasnt for the both of “us” none of us would exist at this point…..there has to be some point of respect for both sexes…(even if we are crazy which like I said I strongly agree) I am one of the few that know where you guys are coming from but at the same time I cant help but think you are gay. Unless you depend on a man…you need us! Just like we need you even though we hate you as well. It goes both ways….and if you can preach it than you are MAN enough to face it…We dont like you either…for the most part. No this site is not for woman and a lot of woman would hate you guys for even saying such a thing…but holy shit you guys are way too angry to be straight. Somthing is serioulsy wrong with you guys….do you hate your mom cause guess what…………………..SHE BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD…doesnt that cout for something? Doesnt that stand for something? That is if your not a straight flaming fag!
Yes you certainly are a woman. Only a fucking idiot cunt would ever begin a sentence with “YOU SEEM”. Its the first give away.
- YOU SEEM ANGRY
- YOU SEEM LIKE YOU CANT GET LAID
- YOU SEEM GAY.
Cunt, noone cares about it “FEELS” or “SEEMS” to you.
It doesn’t make it based on any kind of reality.
An if you don’t like us either “for the most part” tell all of your greedy, useless, wife cunt friends to stop BEGGING US TO MARRY YOU.
FYI…. my MOM didn’t bring me into this world.
My DAD pounded is cock ball-deep into my mothers pussy and shot his sperm deep into her vagina.
THAT’S where babies come from.
They don’t come from YOU.
All you cunts gotta do is lift your skirt or bend over. You could be a fat lazy tub of shit and do NOTHING for 9 months. Your father worked ALOT hard at just FUCKING YOUR MOTHER ONCE than she did to PUNCH YOU OUT INTO THIS WORLD.
When you are having a kid…. remind yourself of the pain. THATS NOTHING compared to you lazy entitled cunts going on about a few hours compared to the lifetime of MISERABLE SHIT you try to get away with putting men through.
Think about it.
And who brainwashed you into thinking “being angry” means a man is gay?? What fucking doormat men are YOU used to????
If you want to tell my cock and taint how gay I am,
Feel free. Until then, shut the fuck up and hit the treadmill.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Alright your entire premise is wrong. We are right that women are fucked up and bitches, but we are “too” angry about it. Just how angry are we “allowed” to be based on your standards your highness?
Next, though you agree with us you go right for the “she brought you into this world” bullshit. No she didn’t. A doctor brought me into this world. My mother was heavily sedated and had me via cesarean section. Most women today have very little to do with “bringing a man into the world.” Rather, she gestates him. The bringing is mostly done by men, and the creating is ENTIRELY done by men. Women just lay on their fucking backs. Or if they know ANYTHING about sex, they’re bent over the kitchen counter. Or maybe the computer desk. A slight possibility over the bathtub. Once in a while on her back on the porch swing. Could be in the bushes, I almost forget the fuck about that one. Considering that all women are lesbians she could be on her back on the belly of another broad that is on her back as well, while the man thrusts in one, out, in the other, out, back in the first. Fuck all I am brilliant sometimes. But no need to praise me for that shit, I’m a man, chalk it up to that and move the fuck on.
So men create children and men bring children into the world. Women do fuck all but get high and piss on the floor for no fuck reason at all. Then you are standing there looking at her standing over the floor and you are thinking, GOD DAMNIT what the fuck did you just piss on the floor for? IF I wanted an animal to piss on the floor I’d get a fuckin dog. But then I could count on the dog to whine at the door because a dog thinks shit like “damn he got pissed at that bitch for pissin on the floor, I sure as fuck ain’t gonna do that shit. But then I’m a male dog, and we’re better than women.”
I mean honestly WHY piss on the floor when you can shut the fuck up and fuck off this website. Just because you agree with some things doesn’t mean that shit don’t apply to yo azz.
Haha! Your right if this is what you guys enjoy doing on a daily basis is sit around on a computer and bitch about how much you BOYS hate woman more power to you. Woman arnt allowed on this site and we all suck how fucking retarded is that? All you guys do is sit around swinging your cocks downing us. Good lord you bitch more than we do…fucking fags….wahhhh! Quit your fucking crying already you guys are grown ass men and you are bitching more than we ever have. Your a discrase to all men…fucking babies.
See, this is where Chris is going to come in and explain a few things, his way. I will state something similar, just without his class and style. See, I’m a man, so I can admit when someone is better than me. Fuck all fucked women are simply unable to do that.
1. It’s forbidden for you to be here. The reason is because women have delicate sensibilities. We do not mean by this that their feelings are easily hurt. Or that they need to be tenderly cared for. Rather, it means that women are fuck all stupid and will think they are smart when they are clearly not.
2. We decide what we do, and in the manner that we do it. We give fuck all about pleasing you. Are you naked and in chains writhing on the floor in front of me? No. Why? Because you are fuck all fat that’s why.
3. It’s called educating and being funny. Something women are incapable of doing.
No I take that back. Women are capable of being funny. For instance, when a woman talks, she thinks men actually care to hear what she has to say. THAT is fuck all funny.
Hell it’s so funny I’m laughin my ass off right now as I type this shit. And so is every man that’s reading it. They’re thinking..god damned that mother fucker is right about EVERYTHING. It IS fuck all funny that women think that. They’re thinking about the time they were at work and a woman-superior* told them to do some fuck all stupid shit. She left and all the men laughed.
*Woman-superior - Another laughable term, since there really is no such thing. We pretend to work FOR women in order to shut them the fuck up about equal rights. Because damned if women don’t make fuck all poor decisions about everything.
18. My original comment stands. Fuck off this website.
aww like all women would say wahh…..stop your bitching and stick a Qtip up it to stop the fucking bleeding.
Honey, if you are gonna call yourself a “BITCH” and wear it around your neck like Olympic gold, you should remind yourself that men are not required to tolerate you.
You don’t get to behave like a cunt and blame MEN for it.
Go learn something crack-baby.
Your pussy stinks.
Megan, if you have to resort to calling the guys ‘fags’, you have lost the argument. The best form of argument is solid reasoning, anything else just illustrates the guys points.
Lee, is that the Lee I know?
Ah, there is but one of me. I have been away (up a glacier to be precise) but now i am back. Hey, whats been going on? Any good arguments?
Okay first off, I dont think you are actually “fags” I just dont understand how you “boys” say these fucked up things and then turn around and lay down with a woman…if you can lay with women and then turn around and down us what does that say about you? It says you have lowered your standards to what you consider us to be….now thats funny
Lee, why do you think I am glad you are back? Not a single good argument. The broads of the world are just about completely fucked and those that have a way to disagree with me and prove their position are as rare as, well, you.
Now let’s get naked.
@MEGA-BITCH
— “OK first off, I dont think you are actually “fags” I just dont understand how you “boys” say these fucked up things and then turn around and lay down with a woman” —-
Why not? We don’t have to “LIKE” the women we fuck. Could you imagine if we DID?? If I waited around to meet a woman I actually liked, I would never have sex.
That makes perfect sense.
And it’s not “lowering your standards”. Because however LOW a man LOWERS the floor of expectation for women . . . . women ALWAYS somehow manage to fall BELOW it.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Well, the logical conclusion to your argument, is that men just shack up together. You can get married (well, you can here), and adopt children, so why not? The world is over populated, so if men stop impregnating women, say today, get married to another man and adopt a child, then you would be reducing the population, puting women in their place and solving global warming, food shortages, and you might even help the economy.
If all men just married each other…
Lol see and I said you wern’t fags and here Lee comes proving me wrong again!
Ya know Chris you hit that with a forty five foot sledge hammer. For a long time I kept lowering my standards. Until finally it got to the point that she JUST had to be reasonably nice and, not talk. I mean, how more lower can I go than that, just do not talk? Cannot be too terribly difficult? ONE skill ladies, just one. A single thing, and it is not even something you have to DO, but rather, this is something you don’t do.
So you can be lazy, sit on your ass, eat bon bons, watch tv. Just shut the fuck up and right there about a million men will start marrying again. And yet, as Chris pointed out, no matter how low, even this single goal cannot be met by women.
MeganDUMSHIT, Lee is a broad. She was pointing out how stupid you are to conclude, that if we do not like something women do, or like a particular woman, we should therefore be uninterested in fucking her. I don’t care too much to be in a meat processing plant, but I sure as fuck like my steak. A filet please. Medium Rare. Thick. 9 ounce. Scalded on each side is enough for me. Does anyone give a fuck what a meat processing plant is like? No. Fuck no. Shit no times three. Add that shit up and that’s why men do not have to be liking women in order to fuck them.
Lee’s statement is just the logical progression of your claim. Assuming that men must like a woman in order to want to have sex with her, then the only one’s we’d really want to have sex with are men. It’s not our fault that you’re about as dumb as shit and unable to comprehend that.
Lee, I really think you need to be on Dick’s Classy Ladies. That is assumin’ yer not as ugly as shit as me.
I honestly am amused! Thank you for the entertainment….lol. I dont disagree with “everything” you guys have to say, I am simply trying to see your point of view. Also, its not that I was unable to comprehend what “Lee” was saying its that being new on this site and knowing that women arn’t allowed on here, its not a rediculous assumption to asume she was a man.
@LEE
— “Well, the logical conclusion to your argument, is that men just shack up together.” —-
What?? Where’s the logic in that? I already told you we don’t HAVE to “LIKE” the women we fuck. And we certainly don’t have to shack up with them either. Who the fuck brainwashed you?
Maybe YOU think that you fucked a guy - and now he is supposed to automatically want to “shack up” with you…. but you should really keep that thought to yourself.
— “You can get married (well, you can here), and adopt children, so why not? ” —-
What makes you think MEN are interested in getting MARRIED? Are you insane? Too much top-flight pussy grows on trees to get married…. no man will ever actually “NEED” just YOURS. So get over the marriage thing. We’re not buying.
— “The world is over populated, so if men stop impregnating women” ——
OH! Now lemme get this straight…..
You women are always trying to take credit for being the ones who bring babies into the world….. the miracle of child birth is the greatest gift and WOMEN are to be thanked for that…..
But when you call it “OVER POPULATION” …. suddenly its the fault of the “men who impregnated you”. When its the women who want the babies MORE than the men.
Every woman who wants a child in the US wants HER OWN more than a ADOPTED one. You know why? So she can use it as a bargaining tool against her own fucking husband…. who she claims to love.
You should be fucked by a coat hanger just for saying something that fucking retarded.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
@MEGA-BITCH
MEGA-BITCH: “I honestly am amused!”
MANSLATION: “I am fucking FURIOUS”
•••
MEGA-BITCH: “I dont disagree with everything you guys have to say.”
MANSLATION: “I can’t disagree with anything you guys have to say.”
•••
MEGA-BITCH: “I am simply trying to see your point of view.”
MANSLATION: “I know that it’s not just opinion –> it’s fact. But I can’t afford to communicate that to you.”
lol
MEGA-BITCH: “lol”
MANSLATION: “Fuck. He’s right.”
Triple fucking right.
Hell it’s so funny I’m laughin my ass off right now as I type this shit. And so is every man that’s reading it. They’re thinking..god damned that mother fucker is right about EVERYTHING. It IS fuck all funny that women think that. They’re thinking about the time they were at work and a woman-superior* told them to do some fuck all stupid shit. She left and all the men laughed.
This is so true. Everyone I link to this website laughs their ass off. Because it’s true.
My girlfriend started reading some of it, and she pulled a DrPhil audience lady and said it was stupid and closed the page.
I love this site. Dick, you are doing a great job.
Dude, that’s the fuck all that I’ve been saying!
Is your girlfriend fat? If not then tell her she should support dick, because only the nasty and ugly ones don’t.
Chris, once again you OWN every annoying woman who posts here thinking she’s making a stand for women.
Deathslayer
Cheers, Maestro.
wtf dude. dont try to speak in italian you sad mother fucker. mamma mia- che idiota, manco parli italiano e gia provi a scrivere ‘maestro!’ ma che retardato, giusto dudette02? e non hai manco wualcosa valdo da dire, perche non ti STAI ZITTO figlio di puttana.
Your stupidity is just as bad when not in English. Try gibberish, at least that would be manmusing.
You’re wrong on one point. Men don’t need a women or anybody. We can do without you.
Just to prove that you should take your stinking ass somewhere and we won’t shed a tear.
We get angry at dumb cunts who come and post when they are not welcome.
I love it! Get with YOUR - a woman’s - program, suck up the anger and BE A MAN. Let’s NEVER discuss the level of feminine malice men have been obliged to suck up. Only wimps - a man only term - do that. If men and women had a pissing match over that issue, men would come out looking like saints.
“but holy shit you guys are way too angry to be straight.”
Ever had someone take you to jail for keeping a man from stabbing you to death? No? Didn’t think so. You’d be pretty pissed off too if you were automatically legally liable for everything the opposite sex wants, regardless of the fact that what they want is often batshit insane.
“We dont like you either…for the most part. No this site is not for woman and a lot of woman would hate you guys for even saying such a thing”
Most of us are well aware of this fact, since we’ve had it drilled into us from birth. In fact, I can’t watch t.v. without hearing woman after woman say the same thing. The only difference is when they do it, they’re “standing up for themselves”(from whom, I wonder), when we do it, we’re “straight flaming fag(s)”. Double-standard much? That right there is pretty infuriating by itself. But hey, if we’re gay because after 50 years of tolerating this shit we’ve finally had enough, you must be REALLY gay because you’ve been doing it since the 20’s.
I don’t believe you have ever hit the nail so squarely on the head as you have this time. [up-nod]
I am, without a doubt, the biggest male chauvinist on this site. No one HATES women more than I do. I am also the biggest woman-hater on this site as well. Although SMashy, Muzalon, Chris, and Joseph James Frantz are close runners-up, they still do not match me in terms of my great hatred of all womankind.
Roger that.
But I don’t have any “hatred” for all womankind.
They are too fucking easy to make to “hate”.
And P.S. is “womankind” a word?
. . . there’s no such thing as a “kind” woman.
If women were kind, they wouldn’t even be here.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
All women are bitches then ay? Fine we’re bitchy. But you guys can be complete and utter asses at times.
Wrong, bitchpig.
Being bitchy is NOT FINE. While YOU may think it’s attractive and tolerable female behavior, you must remind yourself that MEN ARE NOT REQUIRED TO TOLERATE YOU.
MEN decide what is tolerable to MEN –>> YOU DON’T.
Example:
You don’t waltz into a room full of men (like this website) where - YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT WELCOME OR INVITED - and start blaming men for telling you to go fuck yourself, get lost, leave, die, etc…
When will you get this through your DENSE, CUNT SKULL… that a MAN is not a “complete utter ass” because he doesn’t want you around.
THAT’S –>> YOUR FUCKIN’ PROBLEM.
It means you’re doing something WRONG.
Now go fuckyourself.
Yam-yam-yam-yam-yam!
That’s why nobody likes you! You don’t shut up! You just keep talking.
For once in that miserable chain of handouts that is your life, listen. Listen to a man, listen to a womanizer, listen to a USER. Then you can tell me off, you can slap my face, but I’ll just brush it off because I know that every time the shit hits the fan, you’re at my door (usually with nothing for me but banter about morality and obligations). I’m not polite and I don’t kiss your feet, but I get the job done. The world doesn’t need you or owe you anything; nobody even likes you for that matter!
I get it!!
Just remind yourself… I am not here for your approval. Repeat that to yourself over and over again. If I wanted you to “like me” I would just LIE to you and tell you what you want to hear.
Done.
We all KNOW these are not “fashionable” opinions. That’s the very POINT. That’s why women are forbidden to comment, read, post, or phone in. MEN KNOW you will not “LIKE” it.
Too fuckin’ bad.
No men here are expecting anyone to LIKE them.
Men are not required to be interested in anyone else’s approval. You GET that, right??? So stop pretending that they ARE.
Dick doesn’t post profound rants on important issues because he wants people to “LIKE” him. If that were the GOAL, this website wouldn’t exist, no men would post what they REALLY think, and that would be that.
Think about it.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Chris,
There might have even been a time in the lives of some of us where we did care what women think and what they think of us. Sooner or later though, the majority of intelligent men realize that women are completely fucked in their thinking. It doesn’t matter what she thinks because of this. I recall reading a scientific study one time about the bell curve. The lead scientist had this to say about women’s thinking abilities:
“Women are completely fucked in their thinking and they can fuck off this website.”
Now, when you have one of the worlds most prominent and renown leaders in the scientific community verifying information like that, backed up with manscience and penistory, you can only conclude one thing yourself. Who gives a flippin fuck what some stupid broad thinks?
I don’t give a fuck about what some stupid broad (99% redundant) thinks.
But I do (pretend) to give a fuck about what the 1% of broads who manage to (if only temporarily) subordinate emotional reasoning to logic think, if only to be stuck in momentary awe at such a spectacle, and to get her panties down (as this is the sole value whimmin have relegated themselves to).
shut your fatface and go gargle summers eve.
Ahaha I love it. I’m included in the list of close runners-up.
I think it is not that I hate women. It is just that I recognize they are fuck all stupid and completely useless at anything. They are even useless at being insulted with generalities by people they do not even fuckin know. I said Smashy was nuts, he didn’t get pissed. Why? Because he’s not a fuckin fucked up fucking stupid fucking woman that’s why. If I were to say
“Smashy is fucked up and he can eat dogshit” I will get no response.
If I say:
“Women are fucked up and they can eat dogshit” (and they are and they can), you only have to blink for but a moment and you can instantly hear the screeching of some useless disgusting harpy who is pissed off that I dared insult HER. Fuck, even IRISH women get pissed off if you insult them. IRISH women for fuck sake!!! Insulting is an art among the Irish and these broads can’t take it.
So you see I don’t hate the dumb cunts. I just don’t want to be around them.
I dont think thats true. A massive part of Scottish culture is the art of taking the piss, and the women give as good as they get. Its actually quite a friendly exchange, eg “Oy, you doss cunt, your teas ready,” Reply - “I, aw right you fucking twat i ken,” and so on.
Women over here have very thick skin, in part to deal with neds, and its also bloody cold.
Lee, Any of the comments I make are of course generalizations. I generalize because what I am saying is *generally* true, but not always.
When I was growing up, I was around enough Irish Americans to know that the Irish Bitches could dish out some serious shit, intellectually. Even in the short time since then, a lot more women have been fucked. Actually I started a thread on the forums titled Irish Bitches (I have to get back to it). As well one about women that deserved to be lauded. So it’s not all women, but enough that are fucked to form an overhelming majority.
If a woman could take it, dish it back, be funny and learned the language of Grace Murray Hopper, I would fuck her senseless, and with a smile. When we say we don’t hate women we mean it. We LOVE women. We just won’t tolerate bullshit. But then should a woman tolerate bullshit from a man? If not, I think the same is reasonably applied to men as well.
What’s a ned?
And if they have a thick skin but are not BITCHES (vs bitches) then I’m all for that shit. But you need to deal with your misandrist laws.
So, you see I don’t mean all women, just a fuck all lot of them. Particularly most that are on this site. You should get a shot and post yourself over on Dick’s Classy Broads. You fit the cat.
I’m Scottish blood across the big pond.
Now what are neds?
Comm. it is entirely possible for you to be the “biggest male chauvinist on this site”. However your claim to being the biggest “hater” of women must be considered dubious. Nobody can hate women or any given woman more than another woman can.
Comment by Kay
2008-09-01 10:07:15
Well, that was illuminating.
“Men are better than women” is an amibiguous statement that could be taken to mean either “all men are better than all women” or “men are generally better than women.” I see now that the generally accepted meaning of the premise on this website is the latter, not the former, and my “evidence” was in response to the former.”
You’re a lying sack of shit.
If I made the statement, “Florida is warmer than New York,” are you telling us that you would take this to mean that every single day in Florida is warmer than every single day in New York?
That is a very good argument.
-Dick
Looks like someone just pushed the “I’m right, your wrong” Cunt Button.
Very good point! It kind of made me think for a moment. But in terms of marketing, menarebetterthanwomen.com is more appealing and catchy than http://www.allmenarebetterthanallwomen.com or http://www.menaregenerallybetterthanwomen.com you cant deny that.
Fuckin brilliant. The fact that we have to explain this to broads only proves the contention.
that there, “pardner” is what is called “fallacy of composition” kind of a statement.
read up on that.
then repost maybe?
later
FT
No.
You thought wrong.
But we love watching you waste your life.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Oh jesus Manly Christ, Now Palin’s daughter turns out to be a little whore. Dick, time and time again women come here to wave their meager accomplishments in your face and say “look at how equal we are to men. yays” then more and more women show off how they can’t even keep their legs shut. This is hilarious. You’re telling me the first potential vice president with breasts wants people to ignore the fact that she can’t raise her kids properly. Get the fuck out of here with that. Damnit, anybody can be pres these days.
Its fucking hilarious….. that 17 year old bitch will be on suicide watch by the weekend with all this press about her. It just goes to show….
WOMEN WHO WORK FULL TIME NEGLECT THE PROPER PARENTING OF THEIR CHILDREN!
CAN’T JUGGLE IT ALL SMEGMA FACE!!!!
Women are the new niggers.
No, black people are cool as hell, full of soul and style. Everything a typical woman lacks honestly regardless of race.
Chris, you aren’t fit to wipe the shit off your own tiny dick, asshole. Be respectful to Sheerah, she’s 1,000, 000 times the human being a jealous, lazy, repulsive piece of crap will never be. Do the world a favour, off yourself. Everybody obviously does NOT care, you useless chunk of stool. :)
That’s why it’s YOUR job to lick your shit off my dick FOR me.
You have absolutely no idea, cunt.
None.
What brought me here? Ah, yes. Another online board, this time about the FLDS raid in Texas. Odd, the people who showed up to defend them. Many of them were obviously fighting some other battle, and saw them as a surrogate for their personal fight. Some were Christian polygamists who saw an opportunity to argue that menarche is God’s sign that a woman is ready to marry and don’t you dare defy God (see 1st Corinthians, or something). Other men took the opportunity to point out how much more desirable these young ‘wives’ were than us old bags and how we must envy seeing them treasured as full women. One guy in particular didn’t give a hoot about their, or any religion. He, and several others, admired the FLDS for keeping their women under control. Specifically, for cutting their education short, marrying them off before they were adults, and restricting their lifestyle by weighing them down with multiple children right away. (Note: the FLDS weren’t always like this - they’ve changed in the last few decades a LOT from what they were once like)
The idea that more education would provide benefit to the girl and/or society, he swatted away like it was a pesky mosquito. The idea that women had accomplished, and were able to accomplish ANYTHING, ditto. Women possessing talents? Swat!
Wotthehell, I wondered. Where is this philosophy coming from? And there was more than one such minded man posting. Trolls? Too fervent and consistent. Trolls are more over-the-top and playful. Like they were representing some philosophy or world view they’d come to present and argue. Something totally inconsistent with the real world we all live in. More than a few spoke glowingly of a coming revolt that would crush feminism and put all women in their (not very enjoyable) place. Wotthehell, I said again.
These guys irritated me like hornets. There can’t really be any such movement underfoot? How could I have missed this subculture fulminating, since I know about all sorts of other weird stuff most other people don’t? (unrestricted internet access has its pitfalls)
Well, you know how it is with hornets. There’s no such thing as just one hornet, you gotta find the nest. It’s starting to look like I’ve found the nest, or at least got a lot closer to it.
SHEESH… QUICK! Someone open a window.
Sheerah’s pussy REEEEEEKS.
To continue in the Mormon vein: Brigham Young said, “Hit pigeons flutter.”