Fuck Marriage
This is a very important and very special MenAreBetterThanWomen because it’s a treatise on my favourite topic: marriage. The conclusion is this:
Do not get married!
Do not do it now. Do not do it later. Do not do it for looks. Do not do it for money. Do not do it for sex. Do not do it because people want you to. Do not do it because a woman wants you to. Do not do it because The Bible says to do it. Do not do it to have children. Do not do it for tax purposes. And especially — the most important reason of all reasons every thrown into a reason oven and baked on Man degrees for a day and a half — do not get fucking married for love!
There’re three reasons why you shouldn’t get married, and when I say three I mean there are about a fucking billion reasons why not to get married. That’s one for every skin cell of the woman you’re dating that’s going to turn into a wrinkled mess inside of 20 years.
There are three big reasons though.
1. It’s against your manstincts.
When in the whole universe of fuck has a man’s manstincts ever been wrong about anything. I’ve seen a man punch through a wall twice in a row using his manstincts and not hit a single fucking stud. I’ve seen a man win 30,000 American Dollars at a Black Jack table using his manstincts. My cousin had a dog who wandered over 100 miles home from a stranger’s house in the course of two weeks. Guess what gender that dog was. I’ll give you a hint. It had a fucking dick.
Men’s manstincts are never wrong. That’s because men’s brains are super-charged with experience, a special lubricating coating I call Think Juice, and about 60 times the processing power of women. Women don’t have the brains to have instincts. They barely have the fucking brain power to walk upright. That’s probably why women used to wear gloves.
2. You don’t have to.
Have you ever seen one of those tags on the bottom of a mattress that says “Fuck Off. Don’t Remove This Tag”? I’ve never seen one, but I’ve seen plenty of comedians talk about them so they might as well be real for the purposes here. You know what happens when you remove one of those tags? Not a fucking thing.
How about this. Have you ever walked on grass where a sign said “Do Not Fuck Around on the Grass” or had a fourth pint when woman said you shouldn’t have a fourth pint?
Fucking of course! That’s called being a goddamn man. And what happened after you perpetrated that shit? Absolutely nothing. That is exactly what happens when a women threatens you with anything in exchange for marriage.
I’ve seen the fucking The Rock. I’ve seen every movie starring Nicholas Cage like six times because he’s the most mantastic actor of the day. I remember the part where his hot girlfriend threatened him with a break-up if they didn’t get married.
Scary huh? She was awfully hot.
The I also remember the part in The Rock when Sean Connery had hair and the US President didn’t sound like a fucking hillbilly. The Rock was a piece of fucking fiction. Real women never follow through on anything in their goddamn lives. Only women who are written by men do that. If a woman ever threatens you over a missing ring, tell her to go fuck herself. She won’t. Women are too sex crazed to stop coming back for it over some fucking ring. Please. We’re talking about the gender who’d fuck Lionel Ritchie because he can sing. You think they can cut off sex on tap over a dowry. Fuck you.
3. Plausible Deniability
If you go into a bank with a ski mask on a gun in your pocket, you’re probably going to get stopped at the door — or sent into some kind of fucking man trap, I don’t know. I don’t run a bank. Better yet, if you see someone in the middle of the street crack a beer, unbelt, and then drop their pants to the ground; guess what. They’re about to do something fucking stupid.
That’s what getting married is. You’re signing a fucking binding — a Fuck You binding contract in an imaginary, somehow non-sexist world where women have no earning power past 30, that says you will support their ass out of pure benevolence and with no expectation other than getting harangued by a raging fucking bitch about 6 years passed her prime.
Do not go into a bank with fucking ski mask on and a sack of potatoes in your pocket. Do not pull down your pants in public if you aren’t about to do something funny. Do not get married unless you can look in the mirror and say this:
“Hello, <your name said derisively>. Five years from now, I want to indefinitely support an adult woman long after she has stopped fucking me, started fucking as many other guys as possible, and always, always acts like a raging bitch.”
Trick question. You can’t say that because you’re a fucking man.
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December 17th, 2007 at 9:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b8661e6da7fc
no, the problem is we don’t like paying high fees for hookers like you. hope that helps.
January 26th, 2008 at 3:07 am - IP Man-Hash: ee8f49bc006e9
What the hell is your problem? If all women are “hookers”, then you must be a virgin. Psychology tells me that you are an uneducated momma’s boy, who has had his heart broken. Okay, so what? Everyone has, but they don’t act like you! The truth is, I have ALWAYS been a faithful, loving girlfriend, and I have been treated like SHIT!! I have a son whom his father won’t even recognize, when HE KNOWS that my 3-year old is HIS. I worked 2 jobs to try and pay our bills, meanwhile, he was “trying” to hide a cocaine habit in which he spent ALL of my money!! We got kicked out of our house, all on HIM!! Now he thinks he’s some hot shit, because he’s a fucking truck driver. OOOOhhh, what an excellent career!! I know I’m a dumb-ass for ignoring it, but he is the father of my first child. So, when you wanna claim “we” on all this shit, maybe you should stop being so ignorant and realize that YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING!!! And, before you wanna make some bullshit mean comment that I’m “ugly” or “fat” or something, look at my myspace page. http://www.myspace.com/psychlover82 I am SMART, BEAUTIFUL, and FAITHFUL……and yet, I don’t have a “man-hating” page just because I’m a sore loser in the game of love. I’ll bet you DESERVED whatever that woman did to you to make you this way. Psychology teaches me to be able to see into people, and I can read you like a book! Some insecure, unattractive LOSER got his poor little heart broken and now “hates” women. How much do you hate women when your dick is hard? I’m sure you beat off every night to pics of women you’ll never, ever have. I’ll bet not nearly as much as you allege on this site, huh? You know who else was a woman hater, Ed Gein. Though, you are probably too stupid to know who that is. I’d like to see a picture of you, I’m sure you’re a fat, ugly loser that thinks he’s important by dissing women. I mean, the “hookers” comment you made earlier doesn’t even make any sense! At least get an education to be on the level of the “hookers” you are referring to. The truth is you’re either A: still in the closet B: mad that you can’t have a hot girl or C: never got through Freud’s “I wanna fuck my Mommy” stage and you are psychologically stunted in your development.
Wait-I’m sure you will not post this comment because I’m right, or you are too stupid to understand what I am saying. Which one will it be??????
January 26th, 2008 at 3:09 am - IP Man-Hash: ee8f49bc006e9
Maybe you would have better luck with women if you would learn to spell. Get an education higher than first grade.
January 26th, 2008 at 3:16 am - IP Man-Hash: ee8f49bc006e9
I think the moral is this: you are a loser. You are transferring your own inadequacies on women. Maybe stop being such a dork loser and a woman will notice you. Fuck your “limited social skills”-that’s a cop-out to avoid accepting rejection. Accept yourself and stop blaming everyone else, then maybe you will be happy instead of a bitter loser. By the way, how often do you look at computer porn? I’m sure it replaces real women for you and every other loser who high-fives you for this site. I can smell the dried-up lonely semen from here. Gross. Glad I have a REAL man with a REAL penis, not some fake-ass picture I know all of you look at while getting pleasure from your bestest buddy-your hand. You wanna talk all this shit; meanwhile how do you get off? WOMEN
January 26th, 2008 at 4:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
Ummmmmmm………….please refer to the part where you are “stupid” and the right to vote and speak was basically given to you by a man hoping you would cook a decent meal instead of talking stupid shit like you are now.
Hey, that frying pan is waiting sister, show us your REAL skills, because debate and intelligence is not one of them………….
Stop laying on your back and speaking as if you know anything, and someone might take the steam coming out of your blubber-hole to be serious, and not just another ‘Tween speaking about a subject she knows little if not at all.
January 26th, 2008 at 7:09 am - IP Man-Hash: e3b96eea9e962
@shellcbell
Too much nonsensical babbling to be addressed point by point. While there may be a few guys here who do hate women the vast majority of men here do not.
We just have a very very low opinion of them, thats all. Apart from a natural sexual attraction to women, there is very little left that we actually find appealing anymore.
So kindly take your copy of ‘Psychology for Fucking Dumb Women’ and get the fuck back to your myspace page where people actually want to read your bullshit.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
push on the gay revolution. bye.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:57 am - IP Man-Hash: 55b15841bb40b
Running late for your lesbian rights march?
January 26th, 2008 at 12:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
IM NOT LESBIAN IM STRAIGHT…bye
January 26th, 2008 at 12:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: a04a4d42d0797
Nobody here gives a shit.
January 26th, 2008 at 12:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: cbbf87a6b3cfc
GEEZA I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU, SHUT THE FUCK UP
January 26th, 2008 at 12:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: a04a4d42d0797
You forgot to say ‘bye’,
again.
April 9th, 2008 at 9:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: af2d6acb00bc9
“Men’s manstincts are never wrong. That’s because men’s brains are super-charged with experience, a special lubricating coating I call Think Juice, and about 60 times the processing power of women. Women don’t have the brains to have instincts. They barely have the fucking brain power to walk upright. That’s probably why women used to wear gloves.”
HAHAHAHA that was fucking hilarious. It’s honestly funny. That last line is the best though.
April 10th, 2008 at 5:42 am - IP Man-Hash: 3d14933c43e43
Good attitude,
Still not convinced not to do it but you wouldn’t care,
because you’re the man
April 11th, 2008 at 1:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3343e5f9b00e8
This website is all me Dick. You are a revolutionary! i wish i had done this.
I say why get married when you can get women that will cook, clean, and suck cock without a gordy ring on their index fingers. In fact with proper Hoe Training or attending my “Hoe Training School for Hoes that dont act proper” you can have that girl and a whole rotation or stable of hoes that act right.
i will be back!
April 12th, 2008 at 4:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae5667617b91
LoL Nice
April 12th, 2008 at 12:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 062703d978411
I don’t have patience for rants, anymore than I have patience for wearing a maxipad.
But I will say this: I was the oldest in a household of three girls, and I’m mystified everyday as to why they always got everything they wanted.
I mean, all they had to do was jump up and squirm on my old man’s lap, and everything’s golden?
I call them ‘cackling hens’ to this day, and I can’t stand to be around them for more than a couple of hours…
I was pushed outside my family and invented my own rules on account of female…drama.
In my opinion, the way to break a bitch and put a stop to all the bias is to make sure she does alot of manual labor.
“I’ll run you ragged”, that’s my motto. Shopping ain’t how you’re gonna drop.
Afterall, after a couple kids…they get to lookin’ like cattle, don’t they?
Why mismanage your resources?
April 21st, 2008 at 7:08 am - IP Man-Hash: ef04cdfbe6cb5
This website is awesome!
April 25th, 2008 at 3:55 am - IP Man-Hash: 8d933cef4b487
Finally, something you and and the feminist movement agree on. What’s next?
April 30th, 2008 at 9:22 am - IP Man-Hash: 1f4eded23142d
I like what you said here