Heather Mills McCartney is a One-Legged Bitch
Having one leg and being a tremendous bitch have nothing to do with one another in the case of Heather Mills ex-McCartney. Or perhaps they do. I’m unfamiliar with the circumstances that led to the loss of her leg so I can’t be sure.
You see, as a man I have a natural revulsion to celebrity drama-news — something I shall start calling drews because it’s an amalgamation of the two words ‘drama’ and ‘news’ and it sounds completely pointless and stupid. I hate drews like I hate the plague.
Wait, I know how losing a leg and being a bitch could go hand in hand. Perhaps Heather Mills was at a sob-fest for endangered bears and accidentally used a honey-based body moisturizing cream that she stole from one of her hippie friends just an hour before. Every idiot knows bears love honey.
Lady McCartney (as she would prefer to be called even after the divorce) has what I call the Trifecta of Bitchdom. They are as follows:
1. Gives a shit about animal rights.
2. Fucked some rock stars.
3. Was a topless model.
You’ll find in life that the Trifecta of Bitchdom is necessarily a progressive one. That is to say animal rights leads to topless modeling in the same way a non-stop train to Whoreville leads to a town full of whores. Is it Whoreville? No one fucking cares.
Heather Mills and rock legend Paul McCartney are getting a divorce and if I know anything about divorce and women, I can say for sure it’s 100% her fault. I can prove it too!
Women who throw themselves into political causes and social agendas are not right in the head if you know what I mean. They’re an egg short of a dozen. They’re a blanket short of a picnic. They’re a soda short of a six-pack. They’re a leg short of a pair (no pun intended). They’re fucking insane.
Women who try to fix their husbands “problems” (”problems” like hair that isn’t dyed, loyal publicists who aren’t sacked, and names of said husbands who don’t appear before those of said husbands’ life-long friends and band mates) are one thing. But when they take it to a global level they’re playing the same game in a totally different league. Like how video game football is in a different league than the fucking World Cup.
That is a game called Hide and Go Seek. Women hide from their problems and their raving psychoses seek them out and self-destruct the whole fucking shit four years down the line. Sometimes it’s in the form of the pool boy and sometimes it’s in the form of a bitter resentment of hard work, celebrity, and success.
Also, you don’t marry some dude whose wife just died. It’s extremely low class.
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This makes a far bigger statement about women that it does about Sir Paul. Men shouldn’t need to rely on pre-nups. It just shows how morally corrupt you women really are.
Some few of us are sad at viewing women as ‘rentable’ whores for casual sex. But, I think you’re quite right. We are naive, and just too old-school.
Glad to hear it.
-wolfe
By pure accident, I have come to this site and can’t believe the shite written… To humour myself (being Female) I have decided to enlighten the masses with mine!
While I totally agree with everything said about “the one legged bitch”. Most people, could see this coming from a mile away right from the beginning… I have found this site not only to be totally amusing!!! (exclamation marks put in for Rap) Spelling mistakes put in for others!!! After reading and reading and reading, the many comments and articles in here by men, It ain’t hard to read behind the lines…. It appears many of you are either scorned, or have no idea how to relate to a woman! Sorry life has been soooo hard on you….. However if you choose to put ALL of us females in the same boat, you will keep getting that same sort of female! (ok, for those that just want sex, there are lots of us like that just want that too!) We are not all money hungry sluts ready to screw you, or your best mate, when your backs turned. If Sir Paul used his brains (pre-nup or HELLLOOOO 1 - 2yr, lets fuck and see if your worth it) instead of his balls, he would not be joining the “I’ve been fucked by a woman” club! How about taking a bit of responsibility for your part…. Realising it…..LEARN from it!!! and then let it go!!! Once you start to leave the “CLUB” you will be amazed how many beaut women are out there, trying to find a BEAUT man, (even just for a basic conversation ) without a chauvanistic attitude. Anyway, Knock ya selves out with your comments, “water of a ducks back”! It’s a beaut day, sun is out and life is great!!!
who does she this she is? JK Rolling (in the dough)!
wow guys, we’re with u on this. her other leg ran away because it was lonely. she shouldn’t get a penny. did u see her on larry king. a more strident fishwife one never saw. we brits hate people who take themselves too seriously.
BOO!
I am the long lost leg of Heather Mills. When me and my other leg were together we were frequently (Every day and night) forced apart since some dude or dudess was between them. I personally miss the emotion of being parted by a huge bildo type vibrator and being covered in baby oil. As for dear Paul. You’re well out of it mate. I watched them both on ‘Larry King’ CNN TV. Paul was twisting his wedding ring around and around trying to figure out the combination. Well! Good on ya mate. Here’s to the future. I hope the fucking bitch gets cancer and loses the other leg. That would indeed be very funny. Cheers
About standard, typical, normal, female behaviour.
You can take the leg off the bitch, but you can’t take the bitch out of the leg.
-Dick
I ‘ain’t sayin’ she’s a gold digger,
but she ‘aint’ playin’ with no broke n|66er
Is flaunting one’s capabilities in stupid a tactic to winning an argument? Wait, I think I remember an article of Dick’s on that. Yes, I suppose it is.
Well, it’s a stupid tactic anyway.
That fuckin stump-rubbin cunt! Paul, dont give her a goddamn penny..uh, or shilling, or pence..or whatever constitutes the smallest coin o’ currency for you limey bastards. Yeah yeah..I know..those fuckin powdered wigged judges you got over there across the pond are every bit as likely to hand over half (or more) of your money and loot as ours are. But Paul, if I had your money and the judge comes down on her side, demanding that you give over half your money, Id just hire a private army of the meanest badass mercs money can buy to make sure your accounts stay untouched, and Id tell em to all get fucked!
To get back to the subject of Dick’s post, it appears that she was once a two-legged bitch.
-Big Al
It is interesting Wolfe,
They must think it gives them more credibility, in the same vein as assuming a male pseudonym - another common tactic they love to employ, as you well know.
Most of the time you don’t even need to check their Ip man-hash, they give themselves away almost every time, in the most humorous ways.
Bless em
how offinsive, u mysoginist!!!!!!11
…sorry, that was my sister.
Heh, too true mike. And note: As a rule, I don’t make fun of a woman’s spelling or grammar (unless it’s egregiously bad) unless she’s made fun of someone else’s. Then… well… too bad.
It’s interesting to note that they also seem to favor multiple punctuation marks in a row for emphasis.
-wolfe
It’s amazing the amount of women here who cannot spell their 3 favorite words;
“misogynistâ€?, ““chauvanisticâ€?.” and “offensive”.
Hey dummy, get an education! “mysogynist” should read “misogynist”.
-wolfe
Hey dummy - get an education! ” You don’t marry a man who’s wife has
just died” should read as follows, “You don’t marry a man WHOSE wife….”
Why are you such a mysogynist? After all, you came from a woman!!
Do you hate your MOMMY????
Undergroundpatriot, what’s with all the racism?
Ha ha, pity she didn’t marry a gutter ape! The savage would’ve just wasted her sorry ass. I swear white men are too nice, Charles Manson was right you know. Even if he was a loony :) LMFWAO !!!