Heather Mills McCartney is a One-Legged Bitch

Having one leg and being a tremendous bitch have nothing to do with one another in the case of Heather Mills ex-McCartney. Or perhaps they do. I’m unfamiliar with the circumstances that led to the loss of her leg so I can’t be sure.

You see, as a man I have a natural revulsion to celebrity drama-news — something I shall start calling drews because it’s an amalgamation of the two words ‘drama’ and ‘news’ and it sounds completely pointless and stupid. I hate drews like I hate the plague.

Wait, I know how losing a leg and being a bitch could go hand in hand. Perhaps Heather Mills was at a sob-fest for endangered bears and accidentally used a honey-based body moisturizing cream that she stole from one of her hippie friends just an hour before. Every idiot knows bears love honey.

Lady McCartney (as she would prefer to be called even after the divorce) has what I call the Trifecta of Bitchdom. They are as follows:

1. Gives a shit about animal rights.
2. Fucked some rock stars.
3. Was a topless model.

You’ll find in life that the Trifecta of Bitchdom is necessarily a progressive one. That is to say animal rights leads to topless modeling in the same way a non-stop train to Whoreville leads to a town full of whores. Is it Whoreville? No one fucking cares.

Heather Mills and rock legend Paul McCartney are getting a divorce and if I know anything about divorce and women, I can say for sure it’s 100% her fault. I can prove it too!

Women who throw themselves into political causes and social agendas are not right in the head if you know what I mean. They’re an egg short of a dozen. They’re a blanket short of a picnic. They’re a soda short of a six-pack. They’re a leg short of a pair (no pun intended). They’re fucking insane.

Women who try to fix their husbands “problems” (”problems” like hair that isn’t dyed, loyal publicists who aren’t sacked, and names of said husbands who don’t appear before those of said husbands’ life-long friends and band mates) are one thing. But when they take it to a global level they’re playing the same game in a totally different league. Like how video game football is in a different league than the fucking World Cup.

That is a game called Hide and Go Seek. Women hide from their problems and their raving psychoses seek them out and self-destruct the whole fucking shit four years down the line. Sometimes it’s in the form of the pool boy and sometimes it’s in the form of a bitter resentment of hard work, celebrity, and success.

Also, you don’t marry some dude whose wife just died. It’s extremely low class.

Drews
Drews
And More Drews

Related Articles:

165 Responses to “Heather Mills McCartney is a One-Legged Bitch”

Pages: « 13 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 » Show All

  1. sonyad Says:

    Are you implying each and every single woman is dolus hidden in plain sight?

    - System of a Down - Lonely Day

  2. sonyad Says:

    That is certainly congruent with my own experience, I must say.

    - || -

  3. smrtpants Says:

    Sounds to me like to have a nasty case of “Gonorrhea gorgonzola” which is why you “Don’t eat the fish”; “There’s something wrong with you”.

    ‘Caveat Emptor’ refers to anyone stupid enough to be a buyer, as I said Men and Women alike.

    From: http://www.theoi.com/Daimon/Dolos.html

    “DOLOS (or Dolus) was the god or spirit (daimon) of trickery, cunning deception, craftiness, treachery and guile.

    He was an apprentice of the crafty Titan Prometheus and a companion of the Pseudologoi (Lies).

    His female counterpart was Apate, the spirit of fraud and deception.”

  4. sonyad Says:

    I see. Well, let us proceed unto more earthly matters, such as law of the land, shall we?

    Might I say you consistently demonstrate abysmal manners. Non issue.

    I’ve been thankfully spared venereal and othe STDs. However, I do appreciate your concern. After all, it’s utterly poor form to rejoyce over the ills and misfortune of another, don’t you concur? Non issue.

    Let’s see what mister Iordan has to say on the issue at hand, shall we? You’ve made me sift for this through heaps of books so do have the wherewithal to bear it:

    Dol (viciu) ascuns (hidden flaw or fault - vice).

    dol, doluri. neutral noun. (Jurisprudence) Action undertaken in bad faith, with forethought or malicious intent, towards deceiving someone into signing off on an unfavourable contract or agreement or admitting an unfavourable clause into a contract or agreement.

    ascuns, -ã, ascunÅŸi, -se, adjective 1. Which has yet to be discovered, valorized or used. Ex: Hidden resources. 2. (referring to people) Who is in the habbit of obscuring one’s thoughts or deeds. * (referring to people’s deeds, thoughts, intentions) Which is not revealed to anyone. - see “ascunde”.

    ascunde, ascund, verb III. Transitive and reflexive. To place oneself in a place where one cannot be seen or found. * Tranz. Fig. To make something not understood, unacquainted, unknown of to others. To secretise. Simple perfect: ascunsei. Participle: ascuns. - Lat. “abscondere”.

    And also the government definition, by way of the National A. for Consumer Protection:

    The qualitative deficiency of a delivered good or performed service which was unknown and unknowable by the consumer through ordinary means of verification.

    Translations mine. Issue: concept of law. Profoundly ignorant thereof.
    Status: summarily dismantled.

    Read, educate yourself.

    - Fistfunk - Bob your head (total mass confusion)

    Yes, I purposefully chose from my playlist as deemed appropriate, lest you might presume it mere coincidence and draw no seve of meaning.

  5. smrtpants Says:

    Dragul meu,

    The words in quotations in my first paragraph are lyrics from another song on the S.O.D./Mezmerize album and I was doing no such thing as taking pleasure in your circumstances.

    Holy shit, finding a satisfactory free online R>E text translation page proved to be much more work than I thought…and I loved every minute of it!

    Now I will take the time to digest your delicious words.

    Drăgăstos,

    k.

  6. sonyad Says:

    Surely, you have bested me. Or have I thee? Why don’t you join the forums?

    - Dax - Say goodbye (club extended)

  7. sonyad Says:

    It seems a tiny tautology slipped in there.

    - Chemical Brothers - Believe (featuring Kele Okereke)

  8. sonyad Says:

    You’ve absolutely no clue how corny that translation is.

    - || -

  9. Dick Masterson Says:

    smrtpants said:

    For bloody sakes who in their right mind gets married without a pre-nup these days? Men and women alike.

    I wish a woman saying something profoundly fucking stupid was a rare occurrence around here.

    -Dick

  10. smrtpants Says:

    sonyad said:

    You’ve absolutely no clue how corny that translation is.

    - || -

    you’re right i don’t, but there’s nothing wrong with making the effort…in my books at least.

    Dick Masterson said:

    smrtpants said:

    For bloody sakes who in their right mind gets married without a pre-nup these days? Men and women alike.

    I wish a woman saying something profoundly fucking stupid was a rare occurrence around here.

    -Dick

    so dick, just what’s so stupid about what i said [this time]; if you’re not gonna back up/substantiate your disdain, how can i possibly get the full effect of the spanking…

  11. Dick Masterson Says:

    smrtpants said:

    so dick, just what’s so stupid about what i said [this time]; if you’re not gonna back up/substantiate your disdain, how can i possibly get the full effect of the spanking…

    Spanking? Fuck off, you little trollop.

    -Dick

  12. smrtpants Says:

    Dick Masterson said:Spanking? Fuck off, you little trollop.

    -Dick

    What’s the matter Dick, are your palms too sore?

    You still haven’t articulated the details of my [most recent] stupidity.

  13. Billy Says:

    bunny wunny said:

    I’m pleased peg leg is getting $$$$$$$.Ha ha-you cant keep a good woman down one leg or no one leg and shes gonna bleed the dumb fucker that is Sir Paul McCartney dry -as dry as a nuns twat.
    Come on peg leg I am rooting for you,cos the money you get means his miserable boot of a daughter Stella wont.4 dat I am pleased

    Never ceases to amaze how many stupid women defend more stupid women.
    You call a thieving whore a good woman… You have a poor sense
    of what is good. Then again its another jealous women who knows and continues to prove that “Men are better than women.”

    In fewer words women are too stupid and lazy to make big money without stealing it from a man. How pathetic women are.

    Women just simply suck as human beings.

  14. sonyad Says:

    Quite the monorail mind, it seems.

    - ES Posthumus - Nara; at pains to get a hold of LoW soundtrack.

  15. sonyad Says:

    Nice albums, btw.

    - || -

  16. bunny wunny Says:

    Bollox Billy and abaddon_FFF-Heather Mills is no theiving whore-she aint had anything yet.
    She will have her day in court,I for one will be watching with great amusement.
    Why do all men think its always the womans fault.You are all dumb arses
    Women are more intelligent,cunning,calculating then any man,this is a good thing.Men think with their cocks-its a fact and then come on websites like this-CRY ME A RIVER!!
    Paul McCartney could have married a woman with two legs but he didnt,he has to be seen as Saint Paul,Linda McCartney fitted that bill as the animal rights activist/vegge meal maker,Heather is the Queen of Landmines who happens to have one leg-yet again another good worthy cause.
    He wouldn’t have married any old bird off the telly,doesnt fit in with his saintly image.
    All of you blokes get off your high horse and admit that hes bee done over fair and square and its all his own doing.
    AMEN

  17. son of the suns Says:

    All walking incubators fuck off the site.

  18. abaddon_fff Says:

    Wow, you must be psyhic bunny wunny, you are a complete waste of time as well. What are you 15? 16?

    -Strength and Honor-

  19. bunny wunny Says:

    Bite me ,arsehole.If it wasnt for your mamma you wouldnt be here moron,think about that.

  20. bunny wunny Says:

    No prick,thats your cock length in centimeteres.
    Its a free country and I’ll say what the fuck I like.

Pages: « 13 4 5 [6] 7 8 9 » Show All

Leave a Reply


Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis