Take My Car…Please! No Wait Don’t
Any successful business venture is one of two things.
One: it offers a needed product or service at a better price or superior quality.
Two: women are whores.
What happens when you combine the two? I’ll tell you what you don’t get. You don’t get a valet service that brings a bunch of bikini clad bimbos to your house to park your guests’ cars — in a non-euphamistic sense.
How’s that for a door prize?
“What did I win, Mr. Masteron?”
“Dings all the fuck over your Hummer! Thanks for coming!”
Women should never ever be in charge of anything — especially expensive cars. Look at it this way: men like cars. Anything men like should be off limits to women.
What I’m talking about today is a rash of businesses cropping up across the globe that bring hot girls to your house in bikinis and have them park your friends’ cars for parties or Toastmasters meetings — I don’t fucking know.
I saw it in a segment on the news. When I tuned in, one of the girls was getting interviewed.
Interviewer: “Can you drive a stick shift?”
I didn’t need to see the rest of the report to know the answer. No woman can drive a stick shift. If you disagree, go look up the word “drive” in a dictionary and then kiss my fucking ass.
Women can’t handle a stick just like they can’t change a flat tire. Take the bad tire off, put the good tire on. Step one and two. What’s the fucking problem? The problem is that women can’t fill in any blanks. They are blanks so they sure as shit can’t fill them in. They just make more. Men, however, have a magical man-goo called ingenuity that powers into those blanks and holds society together.
One of the “gorgeous” valet attendants (probably a B or C lister, but I don’t know why you’d put that nonsense on the news) explained to me the process of parking a car. Apparently the secret to being a valet is the ticket stub. It identifies which key goes with which car. Since I’m not retarded, I already knew that.
Is there a man on the whole of Earth who doesn’t understand that process by the time he’s 19? Fuck no. Unless you’re the Bubble Boy and your parents haven’t paid the cable since you were 2, you understand how the valet system works.
The whole news story left me thinking of some way this brilliant idea — selling women for sex — could be incorporated into the business to business world. That’s a huge market after all. Then I remembered something: it already is.
They’re called secretaries.
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February 11th, 2006 at 12:27 am - IP Man-Hash: e4caf524df8b3
It what happens when Female tries to post.. a gear sticks and prevents her brain from from shifting into gear.
February 11th, 2006 at 12:36 am - IP Man-Hash: 5bf02b5343b0b
Devek, you are on fire.
What you need are some MABTW business cards.
-Dick
February 12th, 2006 at 1:47 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
You call them stick-shifts. Imagine that, a different word for the same thing. I also drive manual and I’m a woman. Wowsers!!
February 12th, 2006 at 11:50 am - IP Man-Hash: e4caf524df8b3
So in your world, manual is a different word for poorly?
February 16th, 2007 at 9:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
I drive a new bmw sportscar and I take care of it and love it. Im not bad with the stick. I dont have to worry about changing tires i just push a button and they come for me.
February 16th, 2007 at 9:25 am - IP Man-Hash: 001a1de92075b
It’s said a man buys his wife a Mercedes and his mistress a BMW. I guess that’s true.
Fascinating. All that technology and what do women do with it? Push a button.
-wolfe
February 16th, 2007 at 9:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 82ef1f6f2aafa
if it makes life easier , why not? No, I had the money to buy the Mercedes, instead I chose the BMW. Mercedes reminds me of an old mans car. Not my style.
March 2nd, 2007 at 5:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 73f9de907ea55
Their all mans cars anyways idiot.
March 15th, 2007 at 8:07 am - IP Man-Hash: 86f79bd2f8407
So in your world, manual is a different word for poorly?
oh fucking bam!
March 15th, 2007 at 7:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: 771a520544aad
So in your world, manual is a different word for poorly?
oh fucking bam!
heh!
March 16th, 2007 at 2:10 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Is it just me or are women’s thoughts on automotive engineering and technology about as opportune as bicycles for fish or their (women’s; fish might actually have something of relevance to contribute) thoughts on manpoints and allocating such?
January 6th, 2008 at 8:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 557cf002c6a29
I drive just fine in my new BMW.
January 26th, 2008 at 10:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
”There are all man’s cars anyway idiot” = Dumbest statement of the year.
January 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
Hey, bitch, sit down, shut the fuck up, and listen before you spam up the board. Did you read my analysis of you? Every time you push it off the front page, I’ll repost it so you don’t have to worry about losing it in your hormonal self-obsession. Used goods slut.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
Give it to me one more time. Must’ve missed it.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
Used goods? lol.. where did you come to that conclusion from?
January 26th, 2008 at 11:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
** sits down and shuts up**
January 26th, 2008 at 11:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 55b15841bb40b
I’d say leave her to it. The stupidity of these feminuts doesnt even astound me anymore.
There have been so many of these losers who spend hours and hours typing and clicking frantically thinking they’re winning some kind of crusade. Within hours their nonsense is always despatched off the front pages never to be read again while Dicks articles always stay in front.
Well worth the effort I’m sure.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 704442c4e98b2
Well duh, this is a woman hating website. I’m sure you wouldnt have it any other way geeeza. And so many of you losers with such dediction to wasting your time bad mouthing women.
January 26th, 2008 at 11:50 am - IP Man-Hash: 55b15841bb40b
While we have idiots like you here, who needs to bad mouth women?
Please do carry on.