I’m Keeping My What With You?

Has anyone ever put some serious man thought into the great trifuckta that is women and money.

They can’t make money.
They can’t keep money.
They can’t spend money.

So why the fuck do women work in banks anyway? Women don’t work as bouncers or as Secret Service agents.

I’ve decided to throw my mighty man brain at the issue.

Women bank tellers don’t know the first thing about money because they don’t know the first thing about expediency or taking things seriously. This is my fucking money we’re talking about. However I did make it, I worked my ass off because I’m a man and that’s what we do. I don’t want any smiles or pleasantries while I’m talking about my fucking money. I don’t want pens to be fumbled for. I don’t want to be flirted with. That’s actually the last thing I want when I’ve got my hand or my mind on my money — and my money on my mind.

Also, you can shove your promotional Spongebob checks up your ass.

Aside from tellers, women in the banking industry are non-existent. That’s why I always tell kids to be bankers. Little boys will grow into the vacation lifestyle of a permanent men’s club, and little girls aren’t listening to a fucking word I’m saying.

So why are women absent from the banking industry? Is it because no insurance company in the world could cover something so reckless? No. The real reason is because women can’t count and are afraid of money.

That right. They’re terrified of it.

That’s why women don’t make any money. They’re scared of it. That’s also why they spend it as quickly as fucking possible and why women’s purses are such a mess all the time. They like to stuff all their money in there like a Christmas turkey so that if they don’t see it, they can pretend it isn’t there — at least until they get to the store.

Money turns women on like Spanish Fly for the same reason. It’s like having sex in a restroom or someone else’s car. It’s exciting and thrilling because there’s an element of apprehension. Women are always ten times more turned on knowing that some money might be right around the corner, waiting to jump out and give them money rabies or whatever stupid thing women are afraid of.

And that thing is the following: If women had any money, then they wouldn’t be dependant on men. That’s what scares them. Women crave their place more than anything. If you threaten to take it away from them with a huge wad of cash, you’re essentially making them watch all the Freddy and Jason movies in series and at the same time and also giving them a mirror that reflects what they’ll look like fifteen years in the future.

Clock’s ticking, ladies.

And fuck, I just realized there really are no women in the Secret Service.

Related Articles:

100 Responses to “I’m Keeping My What With You?”

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 » Show All

  1. diamatik Says:

    Billy said:

    Women did invent whoriculture.

    and that is why women have the cooties. Did you know that women are more likely to have or contract an STI than men? That is why men had to invent condoms.

  2. gwallan Says:

    QueenMalice said:
    Why would I want to start a site like this one? If anyone has a reason or a right to start a site like this bashing men, it would be me, however, I don’t think generalization is fair, right, or even logical, therefore I don’t do it.

    What reasons do you have? Sounds to me as though the only difference between you and Dick is that he did something about it. Meanwhile you simply take the passive aggressive approach and complain about sombody else who does what you’re too weak to do yourself. Where have I seen that before? Oh yeah, feminism.

    QueenMalice said:
    Yes look at our society. Women suffer and go through so much more than men do. Do you realize that only 1% of rape victims are men, whereas the other 99% are women?

    So much more? Please expand on this.

    Your using rape as an example is somewhat deceptive. The proportion of all women who are actually rape victims is quite small. Are you suggesting that ALL women are rape victims or that the rape of one woman is a crime against ALL women? What have you to say about men being the victims of 85% of all violence?

    QueenMalice said:
    Do you realize that the majority of child molesters are also men? There are some female pedaphiles, but most of them are men.

    In actual fact women constitute a third of child sexual abusers, two thirds of child murderers and three quarters of child physical abusers. They also commit 100% of abortions and 100% of paternity fraud.

    sonyad said:
    I am assuming that women cannot rape men here (because I think that is inherently impossible since an erection is needed).

    You assume incorrectly.

    sonyad said:
    @Diamatik I believe Gwallan will rightfully take exception at your inference.

    Rape exists when coercion is used to obtain sex. This coercion can be physical in nature but does not need to be. There are many ways of forcing others to do your bidding some of which women excel at relative to men.

    Alex said:

    Diamatik and Necroswordsman- A woman can rape a man. And to imply that a woman who is raped suffers less than a man who is raped, or that a woman could ENJOY being raped, is one of the most evil, vile, disgusting things I have read on this site and is absolutely inexcuseable. That truly is beneath even the worst misogynists.

    Agreed.
    The long term effects are surprisingly similar for both genders.

    Luka said:

    I’m curious where Billy got the statistic that 50% of allegations of rape are false, not least because it sounds a massive percentage.

    I despise women who lie about rape, for the damage the accusation does to the man in question, and the damage done to those women who have genuinely been through rape, who may not be believed due to the disgusting actions of morally bankrupt women . Yes, such women should get time in jail for their actions, I think.

    If Billy’s statistic is correct, 50% of women are liars, but what about the 50% who have genuinely been through such an ordeal?

    Do not confuse false allegers with victims. The majority of real rape victims do not report. Meanwhile significant proportions of reported rapes are false allegations. The US armed services has recorded false reporting at sixty percent within it’s ranks. New Zealand’s South Island had false allegations at 80% of all reports during 2005.

    Research Shows False Accusations of Rape Common By Marc Angelucci and Glenn Sacks is worth a look. They reference work by Eugene J. Kanin which wolfe cited. The essay False rape allegations by Kanin himself discusses his work.

  3. Sparky Says:

    The majority of real rape victims do not report.

    And that is a fact. I worked as a rape counselor in college. It was amazing observing the number of women who reported rapes accessed our services. There were two types.

    The women who reported their rapes that seemed sincere usually had a friend that picked her up and having that backing, was the only reason they reported it. They were broken and there was a deep sense of violation. They had genuine fear for their alleged attacker.

    The ones that shocked me were the ones I believed just got drunk and put themselves in bad situations. Those women went straight to legal counseling. The sense of vengence was unbelievable. They didn’t seem to have anything to heal. They couldn’t wait to punish the alleged rapist and ‘get him on the stand’.

    The first group mentioned had a very hard time pursuing prosecution. As they got stronger, they were more interested in pursuing self defense courses.

    The contrasts were striking.

  4. Wolfe Says:

    @Sparky a striking observation.
    @Gwallan - very good point on false allegers vs victims. Moreover, the issue of erection is complete obfuscation. A woman is no less a victim of rape if she lubricates in response to penetration. Both are semi-autonomous involuntary physiological responses.

    Do you realize that only 1% of rape victims are men, whereas the other 99% are women?

    This is absolutely false. The US Department of Justice puts male victims of rapes outside prisons as at least 10%. Given that men are even more likely than women to underreport/not report rape, it seems this is a bare minimum. Now we turn to prisons.

    According to Human Rights Watch (are they correct? I don’t know, but they do have one of the very few 50-state National surveys of US prison rape), one in 10 male inmates reported being raped; one in 5 reported being forcibly sexually assaulted.

    With two million incarcerated (mostly men), if the above figures are correct, this suggests (if we assume ‘only’ one rape per inmate per month) roughly 2 million rapes of men per year in prisons. (deducting for female inmates).

    On the crude order of 500,000 women per year report being victims of rape, sexual assault (or attempted rape or sexual assault).

    It thus may very well be that a majority of the rapes committed in the US feature male victims. (Of course, these mostly feature the same male being repeatedly victimized, still resulting in more women than men being victims of rape).

    This assertion breaks down somewhat when we recognize the rate of underreporting rapes (and add in US female prison inmates), but nevertheless, it suggests that there are serious problems we’re not remotely recognizing.

    Also, these figures wouldn’t hold in other countries where (hopefully) prison rape is less of a problem, and a lower percentage of the population is incarcerated.

    -wolfe

  5. Martin Sewell Says:

    >From: Martin Sewell
    >Date: Wed, 13 Sep 2000 02:10:26 +0100
    >Local: Wed 13 Sep 2000 01:10

    >I don’t work. No real reason, I’m simply far too lazy.

    >I’ve only ever worked one full tax year in my life.

    >I refuse to even have a clock in the bedroom, let alone an alarm
    clock. My girlfriend sets the alarm on her mobile phone.

    >I’m a perpetual student and currently doing a PhD at UCL.

    >Is there anyone out there lazier than me? I’d be interested. How
    lazy are you?

    True then - true now. LOL

  6. diamatik Says:

    @Martin Sewell

    cough, cough, cough, cough.

    Wow, look at that; the word cough, four times.

    Now try saying ‘4 cough’ five times very quickly.

  7. e v i l e d d y Says:

    Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

    Necroswordsman said:

    I thought I had made it clear that I opposed all rape aswell. But fine I’ll say it now. I don’t think rape is right, I never thought it was right, and I think it is the vilest thing imaginable. I also think the same of women who make false rape allegations who almost deserve to be raped. Note the word ‘almost’.

    You hate women because you are an ugly failure who can’t get a date.
    By the way, I think a real man should have put an ax through your abusive, idiotic father’s skull. LOL

    If he was ugly.. he’d love women because he wouldn’t have ever gone on a date with any of them to learn just how fucked up women are.

    You sound like a fat single mom who is raising her kids with a bowl of mac and cheese and a TV for a babysitter while you hunt for a new source of income from a man all day as your fat ass gets bigger and bigger.

    -cheers!

  8. Billy Says:

    Woman Hear Me Roar, pricks said:

    You are still an idiot.
    It’s sad that most women and girls are treated like shit by the, uh, men in their lives. Too bad women are not taken seriously because a few retarded pieces of shit dicks couldn’t treat them well.
    Grow a brain by the way………

    It’s too bad that women are too stupid to see that they treat everybody like shit most of the time and whine when they don’t get their way the rest of the time. Women make everyones life miserable.

    Now go learn how to someone happy which is nearly impossible for your kind. You could start by Fukin off

  9. Eric Says:

    Women are ” Dirty” “money Scabbing” , Selfish, Self orientated, gutless, heartless, Singleminded Rats,

    Billy you Stupid DimSim, just go and grow yourself a big pair of tits , You disgust the male race,
    Go work for a female, “if you can find one” !!!!

  10. Eric Says:

    apologies to Billy, the abuse was intented to “Women hear me roar”

  11. Ralohcs Denrael Says:

    All women crumple their money. No man crumples his money. A man folds his money properly. ’nuff said.

  12. sonyad Says:

    Yup. Folds with my wallet.
    Kinda hard to crumple plastic money anyway, though you still see bills like that.

  13. Necroswordsman Says:

    I always fold my notes carefully and slip it into my wallet. Neat.

  14. Female Says:

    Don’t worry fellas, women won’t be albe to borrow a few bucks of your cash to spend when we’ve all got microchips instead of money. Not unless they cut your arm off and stuff it in their handbag for the trip to the convenience store.

  15. wolfe Says:

    It already feels like that.
    -wolfe

  16. Billy Says:

    Women don’t borrow, thats just a polite way of saying “I’m entitled to you hard earned money and of course you won’t eve see it again.”

    Women simply suck as people

  17. Female Says:

    I foresee many problems with these chips. What if you have a broken arm and have to wear a cast and your chip cant send the signal through the plaster? What if your chip malfunctions, you will have to have your partner or someone else always with you to pay for things until it gets fixed. This is going to be really annoying, I can see it.

    Billy just because youve always managed to associate with parasitic scabs doesnt mean all women are like that. It says something about you if that is the only kind of woman you have ever come into contact with, probably that you allow women to act like parasites and then you complain about it.

  18. Female Says:

    What about homeless people and buskers? How are they going to survive in a cashless society? I think amputees are going to become more common.

  19. Mansman Says:

    Female said:

    Billy just because youve always managed to associate with parasitic scabs doesnt mean all women are like that. It says something about you if that is the only kind of woman you have ever come into contact with…

    Or it might just be that finding an elusive needle in a haystack is a very hard thing to do. That would be a more logical conclusion than implying Billy has some imagined deficiency. True?

  20. BrokenJohnny Says:

    diamatik said:

    Billy said:

    Women did invent whoriculture.

    and that is why women have the cooties. Did you know that women are more likely to have or contract an STI than men? That is why men had to invent condoms.

    Oh man, I love STI’s!

    ….we’re talking Subaru’s right?

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 » Show All

Leave a Reply


Close
E-mail It
Powered by ShareThis