867-530…4?
Men are better at using a phone than women. Unlike popular myth says.
Want to know how bad women are at using the phone?
Women using a telephone is like dropping a human invention off on an alien planet. Like a Frisbee for example. What are aliens going to do with a Frisbee? Who knows, maybe eat off of it or worship it. It doesn’t matter because what they won’t do is use it for its purpose: to throw in the air.
That’s what women are like with phones. Endless using, no purpose.
Like usual, when it comes to using phones, women fuck up right off the starting block. Seriously, watch a woman dial a phone. They stare at the buttons as they dial like they’re trying to solve a crossword puzzle with no questions. You want to know why that is? It’s because they have no idea where the fuck the next button is. No woman on Earth from 8 to 80 has the button order of a telephone memorized. And that’s laughable. When women dial a phone they go on a seven digit scavenger hunt. And if it’s long distance good luck. Ask a woman to order Chinese food or a pizza and see what kind of bullshit excuse you get. That’s why.
Women should never be allowed to use an ATM for the same reason. It wastes everyone’s time. Of course if you’ve got a woman on your hands with access to an ATM card you’ve got bigger problems than sitting around waiting for her to find the ‘5′. Women should be able to use ATM cards like a 5 year old should be able to drive a car: only on the drive home and on a man’s lap at all times. That’s common sense.
Women jabber on the phone non-stop. In the car, on the job, in the church. No matter where they’re doing it it’s inappropriate because it’s never about anything. Everyone knows that and it isn’t funny. Besides, isn’t that what a phone is for?
Let me tell you that you’re right. Telephones are for communicating par excellence. Let me also tell you that you’re about as wrong as a man can possibly be — barely.
When women are gabbing away on the phone, they’re gabbing away just like they do in real life. Prattling on and on like mules about inane bullshit and how the barley tastes while never once listening to anyone but themselves. Actually I take that back. Without ever listening to anyone at all period. Women definitely don’t listen to themselves talk. That’s why you can never bust them on anything they just said. When it comes to listening to words and ideas women have less memory retention than a kid’s chalkboard that got left out in the rain. Have you ever tried to write on one of those? They don’t fucking work and they make noises like the world is coming to an end.
If you have a woman in the house, replace the telephone handset with a banana with the number ‘3′ on it and see if she even notices the difference.
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You’ll know that this article is true when you sit behind a woman at the drive-up ATM. Christ, the only thing that will stop you from going nuts is that you’re sitting in your air-conditioned car with a radio available. It makes you wish you’d stopped at the mini-mart for a drink on the way over, too.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen women open the car door, put one foot on the ground, stick their face real close to the ATM screen, and then keep looking between the screen and the keyboard as if the screen is telling them to find and press keys with hieroglyphics on them. And if the screen tells them something they don’t believe (usually it’s the checking account balance, your last trip to the mall was a lot more expensive than you remember, you stupid twat), they cancel the transaction, reinsert the card, hunt-and-peck the PIN, and start all over again. Degree of difficulty: she’s usually talking on the phone, too. Christ, it’s faster to eat a 4-course meal in an upscale restaurant than it is to sit behind these bitches at the drive-up ATM.
i work at a 10 billion dollar company. All the senior level managers are men, all the admen and busy work positions are women. Its amazing how much stupidity wome get away with, even though the company by law has to promote equality. But women are smart- they act like morons ans people stops going to them for work. We ahve a 400 pound secretary that hasn’t done a days work in 5 years, but we cant fire her because that would be sexist. What a scam. We actually had to hire another girl to help with ‘all the work’, so we just give her jobs and avoid the fat admin.
Funny, you’re eloquence with the English language seems to shine brightly as much, if not less than, Polaris. Who’s dick did you suck to get so high up in the company you currently work for?
Guess what? Your mother is a whore.
“Well, I was going to type out a response but then I forgot that something as complex as a keyboard can only be used by men.
Fuck you buddy.”
You got that right.
Well, I was going to type out a response but then I forgot that something as complex as a keyboard can only be used by men.
Fuck you buddy.
dalsgaard, i fucking applaud you.
so fucking right. i have NEVER given them any of these “special rights”. First off, they dont deserve them. Second, they want equality – send it to them on a fucking plate so hard they jump off faster than when you press their hands down a frying pan…
HELL FUCKING YEAH!!!
Mantastic advice!
Thank you man. I can’t stress this fact enough: They want to be equals. So treat them like equals. If they fuck up, call them out. If they hit you, hit again. If they demand an apology, don’t fucking give it to them…. And so on.
Most males of our generation has been raised by feminist propagonda, and men-loathing bitches promoting psychiatry and feelings in terms of conflict-solving. Any of you ever truly found that bullshit natural? I never did.
Now, someone do this with me. Remember a conflict you had with a woman. Imagine the way she behaved towards you, what she demanded of you, and for how long a time she went on babbling. Now remember how YOU reacted.
Can you look me straight in the eye and say, that you would react excactly as you did, if it was a man that treated you so horribly?
Very few people can. We guys have respect for women, even if we don’t think about it. For some reason, we think that we should put up with 10 times more bullshit, just because it’s coming out of a person with boobs.
STOP. DOING IT.
Mantastic advice!
Of course, this is a field where no woman will ever be the wiser. They simply can’t learn it. But here’s an entirely different example of one of my observations.
My ex and i was at a party, and we were discussing politics. Then she came with the dumbest remark I’ve ever heard: “Is’nt…. USA… A part of America or something?”. Neither of us has grown up in the states, but this is still common fucking knowledge. We’re supposed to learn this stuff in first grade.
So what you do in these situations is very important. I know for a fact that a lot of guys would just have brushed this off, and laugh at her thinking it was cute. On the other hand, if I could’nt tell the difference (Or the lack thereoff perhaps) – i would get my balls busted. Hard.
So i laughed at her as hard as i could, even though i found it embarrassing as hell. Then i said: “Seriously. Dyeing your hair does’nt help. Your still dumb as fuck”, and corrected her. I continued teasing her with this remark for days. She got sad and embarrassed, and tell you one thing: She WILL remember this time. Like us guys remember the mistakes WE make.
So if they ask dumb questions, treat them as they really are. Dumb. It’s the only way they will ever get smarter: And they will even cut down on the talking in fear of embarrassing themselves further. So don’t hold back. It’s important to the intelligence of the entire human race.
This is true. We men have a visual map of literally everything in our minds, and even an inner compas.
I saw a test on television, where they gave directions to 5 random men, and 5 random women. They told them to go east, west, north, or south in order to find a specific destination point. “First 200 steps west, then turn north for 500 steps, west, south, east.”, and so on. It was’nt too much to remember. The women wandered off in laughable directions. Only one of the 5 women actually followed the instructions because they have no clue or sence how to interpret directions, or construct an inner map in the eyes of their mind.
That being said, the same challenge was given to 5 men too. All 5 made it to the destination. 4 followed the instructions perfectly, and 1 walked a bit too far.
Women suck at finding their way around. It’s simply incredible. I would never rely on any woman – ever – even if she had a map. They just can’t. That’s why all women are so horrible at video-games too. They have absolutely zero visual intelligence.
Truer words have absolutely never been spoken. Thank god for men and being able to think.
Ahhh, yes…
Wallowing in the “ocean of emotion”.
Absolutely true. It’s a problem well exacerbated by this new “text messaging” feature. Women love problems. Heaps and heaps of problems. The only thing that can save a pleasant conversation is a call from one of their broken bottle rocket friends.
-Dick
It’s because they have no tact. They also believe the world revolves around them, so they treat their cell phone like the President treats the red phone that’s hooked directly into the Kremlin.
I notice that women cannot wait to answer mobile phones, they stop in mid-conversation ( not easy for a women as you may think) so eager is she to use it that she doesn’t even care whom the caller may be.
Itmust always be life or death situations as far as anwering that phone.
I think it’s a combination of a gadget and numbers that floors the female mind. One of those alone is tough for them to handle; so two together must make it a near impossibility. Just my theory, but I haven’t had it disproved yet.
I have noticed time and again that women take at least twice as long as men over getting money out of an ATM. And often they walk away without getting any money at all. Of course, they might just be checking their balance, but if so, that should be quicker than getting money – but it isn’t.
So if I see two ATMs, one with a woman on it and no queue, and the other with a man on it and three men waiting behind him, I will join the men’s queue. It’s always quicker.