Life In A Cage

When I think of a man I think of several things: successful, smells great, nuclear explosions of brilliance and poignancy. When I think of a woman, I usually think of something retarded, like a mule or a donkey with no real friends who can’t drive and has a lifespan that stretches well beyond her years of usefulness.

Maybe that’s why women are always so pissed off. Donkeys are stubborn because they have hooves and can’t do anything. Women are opinionated loud-mouths for the same reason. They just don’t have the hooves.

Amber Willits is this July’s MenAreBetterThanWomen.com’s Honorary Man of the Month. Way to go, Willty. Amber has done what all other women have failed to do in the face of impending success.

She shut her fucking mouth.

You can read about it below, but I’ll give you the manst of it here. Professional baseball super-athlete Reggie Willits, built a cage for his wife to live in to help him with his baseball career.

What a surprise, it worked.

That’s what I was talking about earlier when I said explosions of nuclear brilliance. Building a cage for your wife just as your career is taking off is nuclear brilliance.

Any time a woman gets a whiff of some success brewing up in the man-kitchen of a bustling male career, she gets her Felix the Cat Magical Bag of Fuck-Ups out and goes to work wronging the rights. Bitching at inappropriate times, making snide and un-clever remarks in front of your workmates, remembering her birthday; these are poison to a career.

This cage that Reggie Willits built wasn’t an actual “cage”, it was a batting cage in his bedroom, but it proves my point. Success for a man means buckling down, honing skills, and basically anything that would fit into a montage. Success for women means anything that happens during a movie.

Not to the actors, I mean to you while you’re watching a movie. Success for a woman means shutting the fuck up, going to the bathroom when nothing is happening, and getting popcorn for everyone on your way back.

Women and their Nature of Ruin will wreck every single thing you as a man ever put your life to. You’re a man. You could build the Great Wall of China or invent a great cereal like Frosted Flakes.

Take a lesson from Amber Willits. If you don’t do those things, it’s probably some woman’s fault.

The Manliest Wife in Baseball.

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15 Responses to “Life In A Cage”

  1. Necroswordsman Says:

    Let’s see the feminist bitches call that and every other man of the month article ‘hate speak’.

  2. Necroswordsman Says:

    By the way that is me, I’m just in Inverness!

  3. diamatik Says:

    She is well deserving of this prestigious award. She is a role model to women everywhere.

    http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/sports/pros/angels/abox/article_1 750502.php

  4. biff Says:

    “I may have thought that a few times,” she acknowledged. “But I never said it.”

    That one line is priceless.

    It is amazing how women want successful men but never the actions that bring success.

    “why don’t we ever spend time together?” Well, do you want a bum who never leaves the house or a rich lawyer for a husband? guess what, rich lawyers know what the sunrise looks like from the office. They probably know what 10:pm traffic looks like too.

  5. son of the suns Says:

    biff said:

    “I may have thought that a few times,” she acknowledged. “But I never said it.”

    That one line is priceless.

    It is amazing how women want successful men but never the actions that bring success.

    “why don’t we ever spend time together?” Well, do you want a bum who never leaves the house or a rich lawyer for a husband? guess what, rich lawyers know what the sunrise looks like from the office. They probably know what 10:pm traffic looks like too.

    They want the bum to fuck and boss around all day and the lawyer to pay for both their lifestyles. It’s called marriage and when the lawyer finds out and raises hell he’s a “posessive neanderthal sociopath”.

    Get it?

  6. Dan the Man Says:

    >> When I think of a man I think of several things:
    >> successful, smells great

    Men smell great? What kind of homo shit is this? The only thing that smells great is 19 year old pussy. Everything else is a booby prize.

  7. GILBERT Says:

    Dan the Man said:

    >> When I think of a man I think of several things:
    >> successful, smells great

    Men smell great? What kind of homo shit is this? The only thing that smells great is 19 year old pussy. Everything else is a booby prize.

    WELL AT LEAST DICKS DON’T BLEED LIKE PUSSIES I DON’T KNOW YOU MIGHT BE A BLOODSUCKER OR SOMETHING PLUS THOSE DISGUSTING VAGINAL INFECTIONS THEY HAVE I TRULLY THINKS IT DOES MAKE IT SMELL VERY VERY GOOOOOOOD BY THE WAY I’M 100 % STRAIGHT BROTHER BUT THE DISGUSTING VAGINAL INFECTION OF GARDENELLA THAT MIGHT WIFE HAS TRULLY MAKE ME THINK THAT MY OWN FUCKING GENDER IS MUCH BETTER !!

  8. Ian Says:

    Women need a regular SPANKING! That will keep them in order. No less than five minutes with a wooden paddle and believe me, they´ll do anything for you after that…It works!

  9. KellyMac Says:

    Ooh, Ian. Promises, promises…

  10. Female Says:

    Urgh

  11. diamatik Says:

    Female said:

    Urgh

    Looks like someone is a bit jealous that she hasn’t been spanked in a while.

  12. Female Says:

    You men sure do project quite a lot.

  13. Doubt Says:

    Female said:

    You men sure do project quite a lot.

    Like accusing men of homosexuality?
    Oh, I see. You get a vagina pass. Nope, I don’t buy it. As much as I hate to keep handing your fat ass to you on a platter with five different sides, I must admit that being too used up to argue without a double-standard is no excuse. In fact, you only have yourself to blame for being so used up to begin with.

  14. diamatik Says:

    Logial deduction ≠ projection

  15. S.M. Says:

    A spanking? ha ha ha. That would be so funny to witness.

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