Manservation
Protecting the environment is a lot like changing your oil or cleaning a septic tank. If a man’s not in charge, everything’s going to get covered in shit.
But if a man’s not in charge, no one’s going to be there to say things are fucked anyway.
Man Zen.
Women will track mud straight up the fucking walls without batting an eye if they’re the ones doing it. You and I call that being a hypocrite. Women call it “letting their hair down”. I have a question. Where was all that hair when I wanted to see Ghost Rider on opening night? Was it stuck right up your ass?
Douglas Tompkins knows exactly what I’m talking about. He’s purchased over a million acres of untouched rain forest in South America for the sole purpose of preserving it and turning it over to a national parks service in the future.
That’s manservation: conservation done right!
The only way to save the planet is to buy it. Everything else is cheap and womanly. I guess the planet is a woman after all. Big ole Mother Earth just keeps whoring out her resources until she can’t take anymore, and the only way to stop her is to fill up her dance card for the night. Was that the plot of Pretty Woman? I don’t know because I didn’t see that movie. You can say “hooker” as much as you like, I can smell a love story a mile away. They smell like Band Aids.
To women, conservation involves buying a lot of new appliances.
How the fuck is manufacturing a bunch of new shit going to conserve resources? Women just want new toys. To a woman, a new washing machine is like having a threesome. Think about what you’d do to have a threesome. Lying about energy efficiency isn’t even the tip of the iceberg. Women would kill someone to get a new dishwasher.
Frankly, it makes me sick to my man ass to see resources not being squandered. If you leave a full drink alone anywhere around me, I will tip that motherfucker over. That’s how serious I am about wasting resources. Still it warms my man ass to see something done in a manly way.
Manservation: Conservation Done Right!
I’m not talking about a beer either. Obviously I wouldn’t tip a beer over. Then I’d have to lick a bunch of beer off the dirt, and I don’t want to do that now do I. It is, however, possible that I will drink your beer, and tell you I poured it out.
Men are better than women.
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June 15th, 2007 at 7:00 am - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Which is rather odd, because I always thought women made rather good dishwashers themselves.
-wolfe
June 15th, 2007 at 7:49 am - IP Man-Hash: 83b7e402ade4c
Why do women wear white at their wedding?
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So the dishwasher matches the stove.
June 15th, 2007 at 10:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 83b7e402ade4c
“If you leave a full drink alone anywhere around me, I will tip that motherfucker over. That’s how serious I am about wasting resources.”
HAHAHAAHAHAHAH AWESOME!!
June 15th, 2007 at 10:32 am - IP Man-Hash: 1efed18bc64f6
I feel the man points leaving my essence for merely considering the possibility that you may have been refering to tipping over an alcoholic beverage.
June 15th, 2007 at 11:54 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
I will.
-Dick
June 15th, 2007 at 12:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: eb0193ec17432
Know why men cannot clean toilets?
Because it’s women’s work.
June 15th, 2007 at 2:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Why are you stating the obvious?
June 15th, 2007 at 2:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2dc7d33608540
I don’t think you guys know how serious he is about wasting resources. I think to get a real good idea everyone should listen to this…it’s an eyeopener.
http://www.moviewavs.com/0028375953/MP3S/Movies/Team_America_World_Pol ice/kindofmanheis.mp3
heheh…
June 15th, 2007 at 6:10 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
That’s fantastic, evileddy. You win the wolfe weekly prize for best funny comment, and 153 manpoints!
@elchauvinsto, I’d actually call that mp3 clip more of a mouth-closer than an eye-opener.
-wolfe
June 16th, 2007 at 10:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 11105a0512eaa
You transitioned from women’s hair to saving the rain forest to new appliances to licking beer off the dirt all in one article. Only a man could do that and make it awesome. That is a true MANservation….. of words. It would have taken a woman 100 fucking pages to tie in all that.
June 16th, 2007 at 10:09 pm - IP Man-Hash: bf753c15979fe
I’ve posted a new video for you men on youtube. This should put those cunts in their places…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTWkeM7BY9A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTWkeM7BY9A
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTWkeM7BY9A
OR SIMPLY CLICK THE BLUE WRITING OF MY NAME ABOVE….
June 21st, 2007 at 6:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 6406ed0e7d6a6
Video over done and overly aimed at abortions and obnoxious imaging…
If this had been done a little better and a little shorter, I would have logged it onto my blog….
June 27th, 2007 at 1:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0fd1420567085
Women and hypocrisy go together like apple crumble and custard.
May 9th, 2008 at 9:34 pm - IP Man-Hash: 35ab21bf6af5e
It was Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President, who created the National Parks and Reserves.
It was Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President, who passed meat, food and drug inspection and purity laws that benefit us all. Another fine example of a man in action, looking out for the masses. How can you kick ass and live a decent life if you eat unhealthy?
It was Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th President, who built the United States Navy into a formidable force, whereby, the United States could then project its awesome might. He, much like Dick Masterson, knew that battleships and aircraft carriers are much like penises- awesome at first glance, dangerous in a group, rain hell when fired and cause others to open their closed ports.
Theodore Roosevelt is one of the finest examples of manservation, man-of-war, manstrosity, manevolence and manleticism. He earned the manspect of the masses back then. He is one of the best United States Presidents in our penistory. He also wore a mustache too.
This is why this man is on Mt. Rushmore and one of my fucking heroes.