Men Are Man-Prettier Than Women
Here’s one of my least favorite Shit-A-Myths. It’s so sneaky and seemingly fucking harmless, I don’t think there’s a man on Earth who hasn’t said it without a second thought.
“Men are big and ugly while women are graceful, beautiful, and attractive.”
Women are none of those things. Women are clumsy, monkey-lipped, and gross.
I don’t know who the fuck started this myth. It was probably some 17th century Mangina — which just proves how awesomely powerful men are. Even when firing on only half their cylinders, Mangina men can fabricate lies that last through the generations. That’s manly!
There’s just one thing. It isn’t true.
Women are not better looking than men. Women are not better or as good as men at anything. Watch me unfold this like a deck of cards. You ladies out there — who shouldn’t fucking be out there and who are frothing at the mouth right now with anti-homosexual and anti-Semitic epithets for yours truly — be prepared to go fuck yourselves because I took all the Jokers out of the this deck.
Proof #1
The male of every other species on Earth is the more attractive one; from flora to fuck-off insects and fish. How about male peacocks — nature’s pimp? They look completely awesome. They look so incredible and man-jestic they should all just have sex with each other until nature figures out a way to get rid of those dumpy looking female peacocks.
Ever heard of a lion? Fuck off.
Proof #2
I can count the number of classical works of beauty and art of the highest antiquity that feature women on my penis. One. There’s only the Mona Lisa and as everyone knows that’s not even really considered all that great a painting. It’s just famous because of that book.
Michelangelo’s David, Van Gogh’s Self Portrait in a Grey Hat, da Vinci’s Man in the Circle Thing; each one an unforgettable masterpiece and all featuring men. If women were so fucking attractive, you think they could at least make a cameo in the art history of an entire species? Is it laziness or ugliness? When women are involved, it’s always both.
Proof #3
Women are so embarrassed at the idea of touching their own ugly asses, they won’t even admit it. Fuck, I admit that at least once a day. There could be no other possible reason for that shame.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the myth stated at the beginning of this dissertation requires clarification. It should not read, ‘Men are big and ugly while women are graceful, beautiful, and attractive,’ but should instead probably say something like, ‘Women will believe any excuse you tell them to get laid because they’re whores, even if a lifetime of mirrors is telling them the exact opposite.’
That even rolls off my man-tongue better; probably because I’m not choking on bile.
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August 29th, 2006 at 12:55 am - IP Man-Hash: fee1a4dd46bcd
Do you live in the US John?
I’m assuming this from your references to slavery.
Unfortunately John the culture you live in is not the same culture as the rest of the world. Ever heard of cultural imperialism?
In Australia where I live, and grew up, the joke was always on me. You see, in this country a chucker is somebody who is in the process of vomiting.
August 29th, 2006 at 1:12 am - IP Man-Hash: fee1a4dd46bcd
I wouldn’t be blaming everything on feminism, sobs. Sorry, sots. Whatever.
Sure you can pass the buck to whoever you like but if you are a mean, selfish , stupid bastard, then it’s pretty much guaranteed you’ll get no respect and your partner will run off. That’s called logic, not feminism.
That’s why I’m surprised most men don’t run off.
@John
Wasn’t there a character in MASH called Oliver Harmon ‘Spearchucker’ Jones?
Wasn’t ‘Spearchucker’ Jones a black man?
Was it true that ‘Spearchucker’ Jones was called ‘Spearchucker’ because he played quaterback in college and had a deadly arm?
Wasn’t MASH one of the most leftie TV shows of all time and created at the height of political correctness?
Do you really think Alan Alda would allow the type of racism you allege in HIS show?
August 29th, 2006 at 2:28 am - IP Man-Hash: fee1a4dd46bcd
@wolfe
Arguably most of the early European settlers of Australia were slaves. White ones at that. Nary a spear chucker amongst them. That’s how my ancestors got here. If they had a crime it was poverty. But they were slaves here nonetheless.
I wonder if the Tag-Team Trio(the Bee Gees as I think of them ie “singing in very high voices”) realise how this type of politically correct thinking enslaves them. They have to be constantly alert to everything they say and do. They are expected to feel ashamed because of what their ancestors did generations ago. The sins of their fathers are constantly being visited upon them. In that I don’t envy them but I endeavour to understand them because they mean well.
John has unfortunately given in to what is known in politics and debating as playing the man. And while I’m willing to understand when folk have been programmed by their culture’s specific political correctness I am not very forgiving of that type of behaviour.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:03 am - IP Man-Hash: 57029bf491952
Wolfe, some American demoncrats are salivating over 21st century slavery.
It’s what illegal Mexican workers amount to… cheap salads and landscaping for rich leftists. In the Clintons town, Mexicans pay $300 a night of their meager wages just to have a bed in shifts, not even their own room.
When did we slip into illogical emo Paris Hilton backworlds universe, where patricians who inherit or marry money(John Kerry) are “of the people”… and people who make money in business are “evil”?
Oh wait I remember, when we let women vote.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:04 am - IP Man-Hash: c984a75816a9f
I live in the US and never heard of spear chuckers as reference to anything. There were many differenet peoples and tribes that used spears. Black africans used blow darts also..
I think this guy is off the beaten path.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:08 am - IP Man-Hash: c984a75816a9f
$300 a night is insane.
Kerry is a nut tryed to act like he is for the poeple. Heinze uses foreign workers and Kerry campaigned against companies who go foreign.
He should be a liberal democraper.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 57029bf491952
$300 a night should have been $300 a month.
But if you consider how little money they make, and the enourmous cost of living in these affluent places in the northeast.. just wow.
August 29th, 2006 at 6:34 am - IP Man-Hash: 109bcf0dfd9d2
The term “Spear Chucker” is well known and derogatory. It basically means uncivilised, savage. Neanderthal, if you will.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:43 am - IP Man-Hash: c984a75816a9f
That’s cheap considering how many live together at times.
Their homeland isn’t as good or they wouldn’t be here.
August 29th, 2006 at 11:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 6897e3ddf8ad0
Female, the manner in which you speak betrays the maturity of a young teenage girl. For God’s sake, let a man speak for you.
-Dick
August 29th, 2006 at 11:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 348cd3f7864c2
I’ve never heard of spear chucker as a slave term.
I know all about cause and effect, that is simple to men and something women only wish they understood.
Example: Cause you can’t understand “no women allowed” or how to make people happy you effect everyone around you with negative bullshit that no one wants to hear.
Try to make someone happy for a change, no it’s not a modern female trait but I can give you a pointer… Farking leave and don’t come back!
August 29th, 2006 at 11:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 112cf22f4a588
Actually I dropped out in grade 11 to help fight the war, but facts show I could have dropped out in 8th grade and still been more educated than you with a Masters degree.
Must not compute for it. Sacrifice. War. It only thinks of diamonds and cars and uncomfortable furniture that it didn’t pay for.
Don’t worry, maybe some day you’ll get your wish an alpha males like myself will be culled. And then your pathetic feminist movement will be under the powerful jackboot of the Indonesians or Chinese… who simply won’t tolerate such cuntery.
August 29th, 2006 at 12:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 112cf22f4a588
Actually I dropped out in 11th grade to go fight the war, but facts show I could have dropped out in grade 8 and still be smarter than you with a million years of womynz studies.
August 29th, 2006 at 3:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
No, Female, you’re wrong on this.
Spear Chucker, to the degree it exists racially, seems oft-aimed at the Zulus. Look at Islandwana. Or Rorke’s Drift. Google them if you are staggeringly ignorant on history.
Yes, it can be racist. No, it does not refer to savages or neanderthals.
In the case used above, it was patently non-racist.
I despise racism. I think people who criticize or prejudge individuals simply because they are of another ‘race’ (I’d prefer skin color/heritage, since we are all the freaking human race) are contemptible.
I also think that people who categorize others primarily in terms of their race are also, well, yeah, at least a little racist. Sorry. That puts me at odds with a lot of people. All of the left, and most of the right.
A woman saying “I F-d a black man”? Yeah, if she’s trumpeting that decision on the basis of his skin color/heritage that seems to verge into racism to me. No, that is not a hit at you. That is a hit at a great many women of superficially ‘liberal’ views though.
The whole Mexican illegal immigration thing? If the kids worked as hard as the parents, it wouldn’t be an issue. It just wouldn’t. Second generation illegals seem to statistically be prone to crime (way beyond illegal immigration). This is a problem. A serious problem that deserves a serious response.
@Son sadly, some Republicans are salivating over the same thing (cheap labor). Don’t get me wrong; I lean right, but I don’t think the GOP knows what it’s doing on this issue.
@gwallan No, early Aussies weren’t slaves. They were, however, serfs. Call that a fine distinction? Yeah, we can discuss it. It’s interesting to note that blacks were viewed as superior to Irish, even Plantation Irish in NE US in the early 19th Century. The then-NY Times would run ads along these lines: “Maid wanted: Must be good European or African stock. No Irish need apply”.
-wolfe
August 29th, 2006 at 4:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: 348cd3f7864c2
Also similar signs pointed to the Italians who immagrated and were seen as troublesome. Signs like No Irish or Italians need apply were common.” Many Italians and Irish mated back then.
There is also mexican gangs who immigrated. Many mexican girls aren’t allowed out of the house and many more boys have jumped this fence.
The mexicans can be very rude and they ogle evey woman like they have never seen one before. Billions of people have immigrated and learned English, the Mexicans come here and demand we speak there langauge and act like we owe them. Remember the Alamo!
As for white women f-ing blacks it appears they do it just to annoy Daddy or white men. MTV has pushed this image in their heads for years now. Videos with black men, black & white women.
Void white men and go to a commercial with black men, black & white women. I suppose this is not racially motivated but affirmative action at work. These 3 groups of people are the only ones with rights in the workplace.
Every since woman got control of MTV rap has become the choice of music for young women and kids. Who is controlling what the kids listen too? I know who owns the program.
August 29th, 2006 at 5:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Omg, they weren’t serfs. There is a great mini-series about the first boatload that arrived which you should definately check out - it’s called Mary Bryant. Basically they were criminals/slaves (some no doubt falsely accused) were sent to a wild country where they had no clue about which plants were edible or what crops could be sown in the soil or when (as seasons reversed) and ordered to set up a civilisation - without the necessary skills to do so. It’s a wonder any survived.
August 29th, 2006 at 7:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: 348cd3f7864c2
You should thank men for the talents and skills that led to survival.
If it was up to women they went of went the way to the dodo bird.
August 29th, 2006 at 8:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 49c9ff889fded
I only saw one episode of Mary Bryant and would like to see the rest of them.
Never thought about the seasons being reversed. That type of thing can warp your mind.
August 29th, 2006 at 9:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
Spoilers
Mary, her husband, 2 kids and three violent convicts escape the colony to survive. The crops they planted didn’t survive in the Oz environment and they had no food. They didn’t know if they could eat kangaroos etc and they didn’t seem too expert at hunting. The guards were hoarding the food for themselves and starving the workers. So they took a dinghy and fled. After some serious jousts in the dinghey about where to go and who they should eat first if necessary, Mary naturally assumed control by threatening to shoot them all (though she only had one bullet and everyone knew it).
They got to Timor and pretended to be shipwrecked English Aristocrats taken prisoner by pirates and dressed in rags. They were adopted by Timor’s Governor and lived royally for months. They got found out because Mary’s husband got drunk one night and jealous of all the attention Mary was getting, he blurted out their true origins. They fled.
Husband got shot. Mary survived and was deported back to England with the other 2 or 3 convicts who escaped with her. Mary’s children died, she lost her mind with grief in prison.
They went to trial and found her guilty but the public clamoured for her to be free and she and the other convicts were pardoned. Mary regained her sanity and went back to Cornwell. Probably not historically accurate but very cool. Now you don’t need to see it. No need to thank me.
Yea. No.
August 30th, 2006 at 1:44 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Sounds like a historically shite, politically correct anglosaxon soap. And all soaps are crap. ‘Cept for some the women in them though, well the latin ones :).
Don’t get me wrong, they still suck at acting.