Oprah Knows Shit About Shit
I was walking through an airport recently and I saw the following headline on a shitty magazine:
“What do Men Really Think About Boob Jobs?”
I was filled with dismay. Of course a question like this wouldn’t be on a men’s magazine. First of all, men’s magazines don’t phrase their headlines so fucking stupidly. What do men really think about boob jobs? I don’t know, why the fuck don’t you just say what they think on the front so I actually give a shit about reading the why’s and how’s. That’s called marketing, you fucks.
But that’s not the way it was. This was Oprah.
I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same. That’s why we’re always right. You know that old saying, “there’s more than one way to skin a cat”? Well there are. There about a million ways to skin a cat and 999,999 of them are fucking wrong. Women know every single one of them.
All men agree that boob jobs are good. Not for all women of course, but for the one’s boob jobs are good for, they’re good for. See, men don’t live by hard and fast stupid rules like women do. Rules that women invent when they’re 5 years old because they think it’s cute or because their fucking mother tells them that’s what you have to do to be an adult.
Here’s my point. Myself and all men like anything that encourages women to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask themselves, “Why do I look like shit?”
Because they do. They all fucking do. All women look completely like shit pretty much most of the time. Have you seen those fucking bug-eye sunglasses women wear? They look asinine. Case closed.
Every day I get home from work and ask myself, “how can I do a better job? What do I need to learn or practice to be more productive?” With women, looks should be treated exactly the same. Women are nothing more than their looks after all and they all know it. That’s why Curves the women’s only gym is so successful. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. That would be sexist, which I’m not. It’s just the way it works. Anything else would be like trying to pound a square peg into a cannonball.
Oprah is humongously fat. She knows absolutely nothing about what men think about anything so fuck off Oprah magazine. I’m pretty sure whatever your article said on what men think about anything was fucked and full of self-fellating shit about inner beauty and the best color shoes to wear to make your tits look bigger. Blue isn’t magic. It’s just an ugly color for shoes.
Fuck what men think about boob jobs. What do women think about boob jobs? That’s the interesting question. They’re the ones that are so fucking obsessed with them.
Related Articles:
December 14th, 2006 at 9:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 5fdb78f644952
First link below is almost certainly safe for work, (it’s in the Daily Mirror) but if your work is very strict, don’t chance it; click the second (but less funny) link.
Well they make (SFW?) Christmas trees shaped like penises, in the aptly named (I am not making this up) PENISTONE, South Yorkshire.
If your work is very strict, you can try this link (Definitely SFW; without picture):
http://www.mirror.co.uk/northernireland/news/tm_method=full%26objectid =18248220%26siteid=94762-name_page.html
-wolfe
March 31st, 2007 at 4:16 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7bd7408f21a9a
Alright, I hate Oprah, but no one has yet mentioned her brainwashed sidekick Dr. Phil. I believe he has already been castrated and turned into a female. He must be wearing a man costume, for no man could say the things he does without having a gun in his mouth. Also, what actions are being taken here? I understand publicly complaining about “all women being whores,” and promoting men being better than women… But what next? Is it my goal as a firm believer of men being greater to just fuck every random whore? Should I degrade every woman I meet to a point where she has a clue about what is going on?
March 31st, 2007 at 11:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9d1bff40f6840
Randall the mangina is making a living off of the women he appeases with words. And a damn good living. But he is still a mangina and a turncoat.
April 1st, 2007 at 10:05 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
and a damn rich one too.
May 28th, 2007 at 4:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: e77bb56a88352
men who are misogynists are angry because no one wants to sleep with them… lol
May 28th, 2007 at 4:56 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
yuck, yuck, you’re dumb as bricks… lol
May 28th, 2007 at 5:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8f51a83d2ff57
That doesn’t explain how I was almost raped friday night.. me being one of the most radical “mysoganists” here.
May 28th, 2007 at 5:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Poetic justice, SotS.
- Papa Roach - Infest
May 28th, 2007 at 8:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1173e8f091881
Isn’t justice supposed to hurt?
Handjobs don’t..
September 5th, 2007 at 3:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
You proceed from a false assumption…not all women are like you.
It would be nicer if you were more feminine and understanding of the REASONS for this site. Men would much prefer it if you looked up to them.
You’ll find this easier from a kneeling position.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
So true!
November 8th, 2007 at 11:42 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6db513bcef547
FUCK OPRAH FAT BITCH! IF SHE DIES THERE WILL BE 100′S OF IDOITS LISTING TO HER BULLSHIT SHE’S FOR THE BLACK PEOPLE THAT IS HOW SHE GOT STARTED SHE KNOWS NOTHING. SHE’S NOT FUNNY!!!!! AND THE TOPICS ON THE SHOW SUCK!!!!! FUCK YOU OPRAH.
December 17th, 2007 at 7:41 pm - IP Man-Hash: e0f131a688f70
Hmm, maybe you should just not watch Oprah? If lots of people want to watch, let them. Why work yourself up over it? If they are so stupid to listen to her bullshit, why are you expending the time and effort to criticize?
Maybe you need to find something better to do than criticize. If you want to praise the male sex, please do. There are many worthy things about men but don’t say you are praising the male sex by criticizing the female sex that apparently, you as men still want to fuck. It makes me think you are just comparing shit with diarrhea, it’s still bad regardless of which one is better.
So why don’t you try and come up with reasons why men rock without bringing women into the picture. I thought men don’t need women, so why not reasons for men rocking without women in the picture?
I really hope you don’t have some significant other you are making miserable with that attitude. Unless she is sticking around hoping you will grow up. Then she is just stupid and that is something separate of gender.
Learn to think, please.
January 18th, 2008 at 6:28 am - IP Man-Hash: d0d480944d0c9
My question is, being that she’s a woman, how would Oprah know anything about what men think about boob-jobs? And does she consider the fact that not all men share the same opinion on the subject? Some men like boob-jobs, some don’t. Shit, some guys HAVE boob-jobs. Does she put that in her magazine? I doubt it.
January 18th, 2008 at 7:28 am - IP Man-Hash: cde4d6da17a7a
@David- i’m sorry but according to Mr Masterson you are wrong-
“I’ll tell you what men think about boob jobs. They love them. I know this because I’m a man and all men think the same”
March 8th, 2008 at 10:01 pm - IP Man-Hash: 454a457f80c82
You are damn right. All they do is bring women down to try to feel better about themselves. They have no real argument on why men are “better” than women. The thing is, they have nothing to do with their lives except watch Oprah even if they don’t like her and criticize about everything. I wouldn’t want my life to be that meaningless… Find something better to do, something you actually enjoy and is usefull.
March 8th, 2008 at 11:03 pm - IP Man-Hash: f8347e3431c87
This from someone replying to a topic that’s been dead for two months?
April 29th, 2008 at 2:30 am - IP Man-Hash: ecf592c8a1466
women suck, they really do, im married, 2 kids still dont like them(women that is). All they have is their looks…they try so hard to hold on to them, once they are gone… well they are just the moaning, annoying fuckhead they always were, only difference is you dont want t stick your dick’n'them nemore…oh yea, fuck oprah
May 4th, 2008 at 8:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: 161691d039713
amazing how oprah gives advice yet doesnt have the self control to maintain weight. honestly why do people listen to her? shes just a fat fucking hippo who promotes the “you go girl” attitude.
May 12th, 2008 at 8:35 pm - IP Man-Hash: 2bc5844a0f6c6
hilarious…..keep it up