Pregnancy Does Not Imply Equality
A screwdriver has a purpose. Without this tool, men wouldn’t be able to screw anything for less than the cost of a video game — and women wouldn’t be able to dent my car by dropping one on the hood while trying to put the Christmas decorations away on a shelf two feet above their fucking head.
If it’s out of reach, get a man. If it’s got buttons, get a man. If it affects the fate of anything more than an unboiled egg or the color of drapes, get a man.
Texas Instruments once had a social conscience. They devised a pink Speak N Spell that flashed only the following:
In case of thought, get a man!
Sadly, it was recalled. Oh the lives it may have saved.
A screwdriver is matched in usefulness only by the chainsaw or pistol. Without these things, we would all have been eaten by bears or raped by trees long ago. When women say, “none of you would be here without us,” they’re inviting you to live in this world, where guns and penicillin are just as important as pumping out spawn.
Horses can have babies too. Why don’t we let them vote? Why don’t we put Mr. Ed on the ballot?
Also, none of us would be here without monkey-rape. “Consent” was invented about ten seconds after “money”. It’s as “mandatory” as taxes.
As much as it pains me to say, chainsaws and pistols are not equal to men. They’re just tools. I love them and they’re useful, but it’s true. Men are better than pistols and chainsaws and pizza scissors.
Women have a purpose too. Women are good for making babies.
They’re so “good for” it, they base their entire lives around it. Just like men do with money, sports, and anything else that involves achievement. Achievement is betterment through personal sacrifice. Achievement is the success that results from an increase in the global quality of life. Achievement is what makes a person rich when they can’t hit their “pay day” by forgetting to take some birth control. Men are as obsessed with all that shit as women are with babies.
Women aren’t good for raising babies, unfortunately — at least that what every crime statistic says — but no one can deny their petri dish powers of procreation.
The pregnancy card is as desperate to play as, “I’m with the band,” or grabbing a sleeping girl’s boob. In the Deck of Women, they’ve got 13 of that card in every suit.
When asked, all of Americans say they would rather follow a man than a woman into the unknown. These Americans are commonly called: voters, the army, the employed, families, children, all religions, and anyone who has ever watched TV. That’s because while “the unknown” could include a Baby Crank-Out competition, it most likely won’t. And if it doesn’t, you’re going to need a dick around.
-Dick
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November 6th, 2007 at 9:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 211e08f8f5cf6
are you gay? really
November 6th, 2007 at 9:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 2e5d5b257e885
Ok… just curiously ‘chris’ what about that is gay? There is not a word there that isnt the truth.
November 6th, 2007 at 9:47 am - IP Man-Hash: 829be8a41e45b
Joseph, about time people started calling them out on this. The gay accusation is by and large the first one made against any inconvenient truth said about women. I’m wondering why, for some reason women tend to pretend they love gay men. Gay men continually kiss their ass too so looking at these trends one has to conclude that Dick is as far away from gay as one can possibly be.
and as a general question I would like to know why all Dick’s detractors wish him to be gay with such fervor.
November 6th, 2007 at 10:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 87229dd417c99
“Consent� was invented about ten seconds after “money�.
Extremely wise Dick!
November 6th, 2007 at 11:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 514935029475b
‘Are you gay? really.’ — There isn’t an iota of this article that even hints towards gay. Everything in this article is spot on as usual and the pregnancy card and gay remarks are as predictable as the sun coming up in the morning. Having been in the service the number one issue we had with women in our command was when being deployed. The minute operations got rough the easiest way out was to get pregnant and with all the dick around this was the easiest thing in the world to do. The other issue was women passing diseases on to entire platoons. Chris? Fuck off. Menarebetterthanwomen!
November 6th, 2007 at 11:32 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
I always enjoy your perspective on women in the army, Sgt Reyes.
It’s manducational.
-Dick
November 6th, 2007 at 1:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: b602a7ad7d54b
all ihave to say is nice fucking mustche dick. i love it. your sunglasses are pretty sweet too. no wander you hate woman you can get any. have fun licking assholes
November 6th, 2007 at 1:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: feba14e9dd84e
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU STUPID, INSECURE, JERK!! YOU MAKE ALL MEN SEEM LIKE ASSHOLES. I CANT BELIEVE YOKU HAVE THE AUDASITY TO DEGRADE AND TALK DOWN ABOUT WOMEN LIKE YOU DO. YOUR BALLS OUGHT TO BE CONFISCATED, YOU MORAN.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:51 pm - IP Man-Hash: d570985696bd7
You people disgust me. Do you think of your mothers or sisters this way? What would you do if someone spoke to them in this manner? I don’t believe you would do one thing to help them, because you are cowards. You would never be able to stand up to another man. You just enjoy picking on people that you feel are inferior to you. I find it funny that you think you are so much better than women. If you are so much better, why waste your time trying to prove it? Wouldn’t your greatness speak for itself? Why not spend more time bringing your great contributions to humanity.
November 6th, 2007 at 1:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d756cb5b42d9
I agree with Chris, are you fucking gay or something? Why else would you make a women bashing website! Is it because no women wanted you so you felt the need to insult them to made yourself feel better…are you mad and trying to compensate for the small things that you were cursed with? You fucking misogynist prick, you deserve to spend the rest of your live alone! So you might as well switch sides now because you are never going to find a girl that wants you! You really need to open your eyes and see past the 1950’s! Women are just as smart as men if not more smart…we can do anything that men can do..so next time you want to judge someone else take your head out of your ass and see that we are all equal!
November 6th, 2007 at 1:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8d756cb5b42d9
Oh yeah by the way…have fun jacking off in a corner by yourself because thats as close to sex as you are ever going to get asshole!
November 6th, 2007 at 2:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab
Wow! I saw the Dr. Phil show and that was the most pathetic show I have ever seen. Dick clearly has never been laid before. Hm.. bad childhood I suppose Mommy not show you enough love?? Clearly he’s never been with a real women. Of course he think’s all women are whore’s because that’s the only way that he can get laid. How sad.
November 6th, 2007 at 2:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 59f08c8e7dfab
all i have to say, dick, is that the name fits.you are a coward, and i feel so sorry for you. you say only men can achieve anything? try being a man! i’m a fifteen year old girl, and i have more balls than you do. seems like someone didn’t get enough hugs as a child.