The Car Says…Vroom
Women love purses and shoes and all kinds of other glittery shit that wouldn’t turn the head of someone in need of an exorcist. It’s true across the board too. Don’t let any woman tell you that she’s not into it — or anything else for that matter — because she’s lying.
There isn’t a single woman alive who can resist the charm of a cheap looking handbag made by a pack of orphans in another part of the world who are whipped and starved half to death everyday while they slave away over a pair of pink flip flops with little snowmen wearing sunglasses on the bottoms.
See. That’s how easy it is to make a hot women’s fashion. Just think of the stupidest thing you can think of: flip flops with snowmen wearing sunglasses. Look at me I just shit myself with the cutest fucking thing ever seen on the beach. How about a cat with a little pilot’s hat flying a bi-plane. And his name is Oscar the Flying Kitty.
Fuck I just made myself sick. And also — as a warning for you teenage men out there — those kinds of cutesy bullshit things are not signs that a woman is fun, easy going, or interested in snowmen or anything else that they might seem at first glance. They’re actually signs of the exact fucking opposite.
Now we get to the part of this article — what I like to call the meat of this article — where we discuss how men are better than women. Today it’s because men like sports and cars and sports cars and not purses, shoes, lip gloss, cheap-shit jewelry or anything else made by whipped Asian children.
Cars and sports are totally different. Firstly, no one is whipped. Second, they’re both awesome in the most man-tastic of ways. And if you’re a woman who doesn’t want that proved to you right now, you should stop reading this and get the fuck off of my website.
Cars and sports and men talking about them nonstop, are all ways of sharing experiences. To men, everything we do is about growing emotionally and sharing. Women wouldn’t know that even if it punched them in the side of the head because men don’t hold a fucking parade for themselves when they’ve broadened their horizons by an inch and three community college courses, but it’s still completely true.
Cars and sports are about going fast and feeling the speed and ultimately — wielding the kind of power that men have to wield on a daily basis to keep the entire fucking world spinning in place. That’s why we talk about these things so much. To learn from each other and be helpful. If you listen to women talking about their useless knick-knacks on the other hand, all they’ll talk about is price. Typical.
Women only want to expand their horizons if it involves a shirtless, pretty-man guru of some kind. That’s why their hobbies and interests are all stupid-ass junk and also immature.
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Your momma says vroom…Hahahahahahahaha!!!! Watcher=Mr. Empty-pants!!! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
Where do footballs come from? They come from whipped orphans in sweatshops in southeast Asia, that’s where.
“And if you’re a woman who doesn’t want that proved to you right now…”
Should be, “proven.” Just a heads up.
Alen well done! I love the fact you can shut that bitch Nicole up with some man facts.
Something a woman will never be able to do. Nicole get the fuck off this website. If this site is bothering you start your own… wait you are a woman and don’t know how. If you manage to learn the basics of HTML your site will undoubtedly suck… FUCK YOU!
All a woman has to do to get a Web site like this one (BTW, notice the correct spelling of “Web site”) is open a Blogger account. All the hard work has already been done for them by men.
Dick – so true, -
Women adore frivolity because it’s easily dealt with, and dispensed with. Men are persistent, annoying, and need constant maintenance, just like cars – if a woman doesnt like a purse or her earrings, off to the trash they go! And thats that. She can work her female mind to the maximum extent, i.e. the next 5 minutes. If the car doesnt work, the plane flight is late, or the man is drunk in her bed cause he left the tolet seat up and he is, indeed, whipped – thats a problem a woman doesnt want to have. How to deal with it? Can’t! Time to change your mind, car, or best of all, boyfriend or husband! (FOOL!) If its the latter, it works even better – you get to double the pain for all humanity! (My theory on what ultimately starts wars: Men get to manifest their manliness by blowing other people into hamburger. However, I could be so wrong.)
if its got tits or tires its bound to give you trouble
You know what starts wars? Women. Think Helen of Troy. Every woman wants to be Helen of Troy.
Never mind Helen of troy…. there was a bitch on here YESTERDAY who actually ENCOURAGE VIOLENCE toward women.
“BEAT ME – OR YOU’RE NOT A MAN”
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/top-ten/#comment-385472
and “SAY THAT TO MY FACE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS”
Over 100 posts initiating and endorsing violence JUST because a man didn’t tell her exactly what she wanted to hear.
I printed it out and can’t wait to fax it to battered women’s shelters across this country…. which wouldn’t even EXIST if women know how to SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
That’s all the proof anyone needs that women initiate violence and stat wars at home. SuperBowl Sunday boasts the most domestic violence in the US out of any other day.
No it’s not because the Men are “drunk”
Its because its just ONE FUCKING DAY out of the year that the GUYS want to do something OTHER than running around appeasing their girlfriends and wives…. and WOMEN BELITTLE THEM FOR IT INSTEAD OF SHUTTING THE FUCK UP.
• “What do you mean you want to watch a game??? Grow up and be a man!”
• “Why can’t you pay more attention to ME??? Be a Man!”
• “And while you’re at it…. why don’t you BEAT ME or you’re not a Man”.
http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/top-ten/#comment-385472
And that explains it.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
I’d openly condone violence towards women like Gloria Steinem and Germaine Greer, but towards normal women?That’s disgusting.
However, I think most women have a fantasy of getting beaten or raped.They virtually ask for it some times.Just take a look at this video:
http://in.youtube.com/watch?v=9-YzqD0jxfE
I really hope she gets her wish. I hope I see a video of her getting decked by some average guy on youtube one of these days.
I don’t encourage violence against women normally, because any man with real balls doesn’t need to beat a woman’s ass to show her who’s in charge. But this chick is just begging for it, literally.
She better wise the fuck up because she is gonna get her jaw broke by some man who won’t tolerate her shit one of these days.
“Women are responsible for 83% of all consumer purchases.”
http://www.roadandtravel.com/newsworthy/newsandviews04/womeninmarketpl ace.htm
How do you know this? Where are you’re facts?
Is Dick saying that the people who run these slave labour factories are all women?
Typical of your kind, you have clumped inferences with assumptions and misguided questioning so I have helped you by itemizing your bullshit.
“1) How do you know this? Where are you’re facts?
2) Is Dick saying that the people who run these slave labour factories are all women?”
1) you’re = you are. The word you are shooting for is ‘your’ – “Where are your facts?” And due to the nature of Dick’s claim, providing facts to back up a generalization about women is impossible. This means that just because you can provide evidence to the contrary does make his statements false. If you want evidence to his claim, look around you. More women fit Dick’s generalizations than those who do not. I can say this is factual because since discovering Dick’s website, my personal relationship with the female in my life has improved exponentially. I am in control of my life and yet she is happy and fulfilled in all ways I am in control of. This is because women are simple and, like pets, can only be as satiated as their owner can go into. Of course, she is unhappy but that’s because she’s a woman and women largely can not make themselves happy (so since I can’t be around at all times because I have a job and hobbies, she’s not happy with herself at all times). Hence, the desire for cheap-shit jewelry, cutesy shoes and clothing, and the soulless drive to own more stuff.
2) No.
“This means that just because you can provide evidence to the contrary does make his statements false.”
The only reason I’m pointing out this sentence is because you can’t go around correcting someone else’s grammar or English and then make common mistakes yourself. Just something for consideration.
nicole’s got a point about that, it’s not like Nike pays their people more. But that doesn’t detract from the point that women buy much more retarded shit than men.
Don’t kid yourself that rich well paid men made those trainers and fancy sport jackets you wear.
If your going to insult us for wearing things which are not fair-trade then at least make sure you’re not guilty of the same crime you fucking hypocrite.
And why would a man wear such a flashy suit made by poor vietnamese children? To attract the attention of hot chicks who are interested in expensive things made by poor children. Hey my $2000 hand bag was made by starving cambodian kids. His suit was made by starving vietnamese kids. We must be fucking meant for each other.
>Women love purses and shoes and all kinds of other glittery shit that wouldn’t turn the head of someone in need of an exorcist.
You’re getting better man! You’re getting better all the fucking time! Keep it up.
Nice observations, you may want to patent the sandal idea ASAP.