Rock the Vote, Don’t Tip the Vote Over
The world used to be a much nicer place. I know this because I’m a man and that means that I read books. Books and dogs and the spirits of liquor are a man’s best friend, whereas a woman’s best friend is a fun house mirror that makes her look even fatter than she is and a tape recorder shaped like a man’s head she can bitch to about it.
The only mistake man ever made was valuing a woman’s opinion at more than the worth of a dead dog. They can’t do shit. They can’t think for shit. What the fuck is the point. Also, women shouldn’t vote.
Here’s a quotable quote for you:
“A sure sign of an empire’s decline is the rise of feminism.”
-Sir John Glubb, 1897-1986
Feminism is that term they used in Deep Impact for that big asteroid that’s going to fuck everything on Earth. I forget what the term is because I’m a man and I have more important things to do than remember or look up the minutiae of some stupid fantasy world. It meant that everything was about to get completely fucked in a terrible way and that’s good enough. Sir John knew this about feminism for one reason: feminism begets women voting and women voting begets a system of government so fucked up that it picks up the platter of civilization and throws it against the wall like a plate of spaghetti in the hands of a petulant toddler.
It’s not because women have haired brained ideas either! Or because the only reason women ever work for a cause is to piss off their fathers and really have absolutely no understanding of the true nature of social activism.
Women vote with their sexual organs. That’s the problem. They don’t even get the chance to fuck up the decision with their heads, which are full of mulch and chicken shit. That sounds like a good thing, but it actually isn’t. It’s actually a bad thing.
Like usual, it’s not women’s fault. Who can blame them for voting with their sex drive? Politicians are powerful, sinister bastards who love babies. Women love that. Of course they’re going to vote for the candidate they’d most like to fuck! It’s the only thing they can think of when they’ve got their pretty little overwhelmed heads in the voting booth and the wand or pencil or chad-puncher or whatever the hell they’re using to vote with in their hand.
Letting women vote is like men shopping when they’re hungry and everything in the store has Elvira on the package. Fuck. Ten packs of frozen corn dogs and fried onions teaches you that’s a stupid idea. Then you don’t do it anymore. With women, it’s the same thing, except their always hungry. Hungry for a sexual carnality that has no place in the processes of government.
Women shouldn’t be allowed to vote. In the best case scenario, it gives married men the advantage of having two votes (because a good wife shuts the hell up and votes with the brain of the family). And that’s bad because being married is a mistake in the first place. Should the government be decided by the betrothed? Those of us bewitched, beguiled, bedeviled by the not as good sex?
No. That’s stupid.
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April 14th, 2006 at 4:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: b09524cfe42bd
Here’s a fun fact. Take two polititions. One is a 45 five year old white male who knows how to run the country the right way, because he is a man. The other, a 25 year old male who looks like he can be on the cover of a GQ magazine but has no political sense what-so-ever. Now take a total of 10 women and have them vote on who they would like to be their next president. I absolutly fucking positive that all 10 would vote for the 25 year old. And how do I know this. Because I have listened to these exact words come out of so many womens mouths it almost makes me sick. “Hey Jessica? Who did you vote for”, I ask. “The other guy because hes cuter”. You are without a doubt completely correct about this one Dick. I think its time we enforced the womens suffurage act.
April 14th, 2006 at 4:45 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
We gave them the right to vote. We can take it away any time we want.
-Dick
April 14th, 2006 at 9:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7fdd7e454b2cb
To this day I’m still firmly in the belief that Kerry’s only reason for picking up Edwards as a VP was so his campaign would look more palatable to the incompetent demographic of voters. I.E., women.
Right on as usual Dick.
April 16th, 2006 at 1:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 3b14a63bd139c
Well, it´s put a bit boldly but I agree in the essence.
Of course, many man don´t give a shit about politics either,
but it´s like so often: dumb (man) - and dumber (women)
“Women vote with their sexual organs. “: niecely said !
Cheers,