Television, Syphilis, and Cats!
Like every man in the world, I fucking hate cats.
Women can’t get enough of them though. Apparently women also can’t get enough of having their brains eaten parasites.
Guess what that explains!
A lot.
Toxoplasma gondii is a damn brain parasite found in cats’ intestines. I didn’t read very much about it because this site isn’t about a bunch of boring medical bullshit — and because as far as I’m concerned having a house that reeks of cat piss and shit is worse than any low grade brain parasites anyway. Both are permanent conditions and a miserable way to live your life. If you want the medical stuff, take a day off work and go to the doctor. You might meet a hot nurse. I can’t say for sure because I don’t know where you live. I just give the options.
I read enough about Toxoplasma to see the words “cats” and “severe brain damage”.
Holy Plausible Theory, Batman! Could this explain why women are so hopelessly not as good as men at anything? Widespread acute brain damage? If you have a mighty man-mind like I do — and you do because you’re a man, you bet it can.
Women love cats. As it turns out it’s probably much in the same way that women love high heels and abusive boyfriends. They just can’t get enough of anything that will leave them black and blue. Why wouldn’t that extend to their brains as well? I looked up some brain damage symptoms to prove my suspicions.
“Symptoms include: eating too much or too little…”
If I could summarize women in one sentence, that would be it. It’s like inney/outey belly button classifications for the entirety of womankind. Either she’s a too-muchy or a too-littley — most likely the former.
“Agitation, lethargy, or irritability. Feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness or inappropriate guilt.”
Inappropriate guilt! Can you say anal? In all seriousness, these symptoms proved fuck all to me. Apparently all women have brain damage, and I could not find a separate list of brain damage symptoms for women only. Things like she can’t see purple. I don’t know.
Then I thought it might just be a rare and unique occurrence for a cat to transfer this horrible parasite to a woman host. I used the search function on my internet browsing program to find the word “occur” in the boring document I wasn’t about to read and here’s what I found:
“…by cleaning a cat’s litter box, or touching anything that has come into contact with cat feces.”
Well that’s pretty much every single fucking thing in a cat woman’s house. Including her pillow. If you go into a cat woman’s house, which you shouldn’t, but if you do, just throw your jacket in the mud outside because there’s no chance in hell you’re not bringing it out of that house as toilet paper.
I also searched the document for “symptoms”.
“Possible symptoms include: muscle aches and pains that last for a month or more…”
Again, that’s every woman ever — mysterious pains that prevent her from doing goddamn everything.
Fuck it. All men know when the deck is stacked against them. And that’s when it’s time to quit and walk away. In the case of proving whether or not some women have brain damage, it’s a lost cause. How the hell do you tell if a useless pile of shit is broken? It’s a useless pile of shit! What the hell’s it supposed to do? I guess this brain rot parasite just makes some women even more not as good as men than they already were.
We have learned one thing though. Children know a lot about a lot of things. They have an innocent wisdom that is revered in spiritual texts throughout humanity — boys do anyway. Girls are known only for saying stupid and selfish things that seem poignant in context and only when interpreted by a man. In this case I think we can learn something from the children. Women really do have fucking cooties — millions of little wriggly, brain-eating cooties.
What are three things that rot your brain?
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February 22nd, 2006 at 11:00 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
You get the honour of being the most obnoxious asshole I have ever come across.
I think I’ll get some shirts made up.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b
Another day in the life of an obnoxious bitch no one cares about.
Brought to you by Female.
-Dick
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:15 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
You’re the one going on about contagion of parasitic germs from cats, Dick. Guess your day was action packed.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 8c78dc5304b3b
Yeah. But at least people care about what Dick has to say. Dick has more valid and entertaining thoughts about parastic germs about cats then you will in the entire span of your life. You know what makes it worse. Is when the fucking cat throws up and shits all over the place……who cleans it up? The man. Women and cats have something in common. They’re both useless, and men always have to clean up the messes make.
February 22nd, 2006 at 11:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5475964f1d333
LOL
Your comment contributed nothing whatsover to an evolution in individual or social consciousness. It was purely opinion combined with a whinge. Yawnfest city.
February 23rd, 2006 at 1:23 am - IP Man-Hash: 527da1e4b605d
Female do you realize how stupid you look coming onto to a website like this trying to talk with a person busting on your gender? You’re a fucking troll. Go to weight watchers lose a 100lbs and find some Dr Phil whipped sucker to date you. Man, I can’t believe a woman actually hangs out on this website. Shit cracks me up.
You’re over here all busting on Dick’s writings like they suck. Please who the fuck are you? Do you have a website with rank 87,000 on Alexa? Ya right.
I guess Dick was ABSOLUTELY correct when he said this, “As it turns out it’s probably much in the same way that women love high heels and abusive boyfriends. They just can’t get enough of anything that will leave them black and blue”.
Dick, keep up the good work! You have an awesome website that brings me great joy. Finally someone has grown the balls to start acting like a fucking man and speaking what’s REALLY on his mind.
I salute you Dick!
February 23rd, 2006 at 1:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 38a2f30530df7
Female must be constantly monitoring this site so it can continue to spew it’s venom at every opportunity.
Helpwanted puts it very nicely with…
” You’re a fucking troll. Go to weight watchers lose a 100lbs and find some Dr Phil whipped sucker to date you. Man, I can’t believe a woman actually hangs out on this website. Shit cracks me up.”
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:31 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Not as stupid as you and co. who I imagine would do near anything to please him.
That’s cause they do, bruder.
Who the fuck are you busting on my arse? Do I tell you how you could spend your days off from oogling porn sites in between waiting for your pizza delivery? I can if you ask nicely.
LOLZ!!1!! 87,000!!! Jeezus, dat’s the bigtime right there, dat is.
See this Dick, you’ve influenced this here cretin to believe women like abuse and he should start acting like a REAL man. Real man, my arse.
Real men have always said what’s on their mind, and this here isn’t it fool.
I salute you Dick!
Another seaman I see, bloody figures. You’re all probably on a boat off Venezuela.
February 23rd, 2006 at 2:32 am - IP Man-Hash: ee94550bfe94c
Christian, you’re too pathetic. I don’t even have the words for it.
February 23rd, 2006 at 5:11 am - IP Man-Hash: 76cebfba7c181
I’d say it’s getting there. Better yet, his monthly average is closer to 29k and change. 87k certainly isn’t bad either (that’s his dated 3 month rolling average).
As for “the big time”, the National Organization for Women’s (the premiere US feminist organization) website is sitting at 85k, and most other “popular” feminist sites are in the 100k-450k range. (I hope I didn’t make anyone faint with laughter by combining the words “feminist” and “popular”).
(The common entry point for Australian government services ranks at a mere 111k.)
For the niche he’s addressing, that’s very impressive.
-wolfe