Voluntary Incompetence

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Volunteer charity work is for suckers and chumps and every woman who does it is both and then some.

Men who volunteer are geniuses. Volunteering is so much work, there’s barely any competition for all the retarded girls they’re about to nail. A dog shelter is my idea of heaven. Tons of hot and easy women lubing up their emotional sexacoasters by fucking around with abandoned puppies all day, and then putting those same cretins to death left and right because billionaires would rather have another yacht to sail around their private islands on than save a bunch of homeless shit-rats.

Fuck that’s manly.

Everyone knows, a woman’s intellect occurs in an inverse relationship to her bust size.

The stupider they are, the bigger they bounce.

Bill Gates has donated over a third of his lifetime earnings to charity.

A girl I slept with in college — before I dropped out and dropped into Man School — once worked every third weekend a month at soup kitchen until the death of her grandmother made her “forget” to do it anymore.

Men are better than women.

Warren Buffet donate 30 billion dollars to the Gates Foundation because he lost a bet.

In grammar school, one of my she-teachers suggested the class think about the less fortunate during the upcoming Christmas season. The thought might count when it means giving your parents a shitty Christmas card made of glitter, noodles, and construction paper, but thoughts aren’t going to keep any bums warm. Not even thoughts of Nicolas Cage nailing Heidi Klum.

Men are better than women.

When men donate to charity, we give fully and appropriately of our man-selves. Men, for instance, will start an organization like the Red Cross or Holy Shirts. Organizations that get the fucking job done in a charitable fashion. Howard Stern has given away dozens of free boob jobs. That’s a charity anyone can get behind — or should I say in front of?

Women, being cheap as shit, give absolutely nothing to charity. On average, women volunteer nearly 30% more than men, but 30% of nothing is fucking nothing. Go to a bank and open up a money market account with all the shit in your pocket. What you have in five years is what women have now.

If you don’t think a woman’s time is worthless, imagine this. If you had a woman to command for an hour, what would you have her do? Exactly. You can’t put a value on that. Either it’s priceless or it’s called prostitution and that’s illegal. Either way, women aren’t worth a damn.

Here’s something else that’s of no worth: puppies and kittens. One homeless man dies every year because a bunch of crazy broads teamed up to take care of some dumb fuck shelter puppies instead of throwing some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at a vagrant.

Women are all sick and dangerous. Not in the way a man can be dangerous like Son of Sam or Charles Chaplin, but dangerous in a way a fork is when it gets caught in the garbage disposal. Even if you’re smart enough to not reach for it instinctively, you might still cut your tongue on it a week later while eating some tater tots.

Men are better than women.

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