WAS…LOL
This question comes to me from William Black.
I wonder why women use “LOL”, “ROFL”, and “STFU”’s when they type. Is it some cutesy, stupid thing added to distract from the fact that their woman argument holds no water? Have you ever seen a man use one of those? I think not.
I talk to my man-mates with instant messaging as little as possible. Each instant message you send is a loss of 2 Man Points. You better believe I lose Man Points as little as possible.
The same rate goes for text messaging as well. Unless you’ve worked out an unlimited Man Point text messaging program with your local Man Bank.
Text and instant messaging are what happens when you take 100 billion dollars of telecommunications technology and paint it pink.
Whenever I see women communicating online, I see a number of things:
1. Gratuitous typos.
2. Shitty punctuation.
3. Arcane symbols of which I am unfamiliar: LOL, BRB, IDK, IJAG.
That last one stands for: I’m just a girl.
As a man, my punctuation is beyond perfection. Women with degrees and without children constantly try to correct me on it, but I ask you ladies this: why does my punctuation need correction if you understood what I was saying in the first place?
Fuck off my website.
It seems like women use abbreviations like LOL and STFU because they have no personality. However, this is not the case. The reason women obsessively list their favorite bands and books is because they have no personality. As if being a whore with favorite books somehow makes you better than the whore who likes Christina Aguilera.
Women use internet abbreviations because they have a neurotic compulsion to adhere to rules like pieces of magnetic shit on the front of a fridge — a fridge in the middle of the city dump. At all times, women are concerned with how they “should be” acting. Should they be excited about something? Should they be sad about something? If it means taking a risk and ruffling some feathers, a woman isn’t going to say it.
That’s why women’s magazines constantly crap out boilerplate articles on the same uninspired topic:
“How to like men.”
“It’s okay to like men.”
“Get over yourself, you frigid cow.”
Women need to know it’s okay to do anything. That’s why they vow to obey men when they get married. Obeying eases their fragile woman minds. And that’s also why they use LOL, STFU, and GIWIWAS. Women need to tell each other it’s okay to proceed. Subtlety, context, and tact is something completely foreign to them.
Women give each other lame clues and codes like marines give each other hand signs on the battlefield. The only difference is, marines are saving the free world, whereas woman are trying not to make each other feel bad for being fucking fat.
GIWIWAS = God, I Wish I Was A Stripper.
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October 8th, 2007 at 1:08 am - IP Man-Hash: 422940479a69d
Dick, I disagree.
I think it’s manly to use instant messengers. It’s quicker, efficient, and more satisfying to feel a bitch cry in real time.
Good article though. What I hate is also how they make ones like ROFLMAO.
October 8th, 2007 at 3:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: e5765c6a6556f
I’d never thought of it that way. That’s brilliant.
October 8th, 2007 at 10:49 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc1d350da2aab
I’ve seen men, ranging in ages from 12-28 use all three of those examples, & more just like them.
MR. WILLIAM BLACK,
YOU’RE STUPID.
Thus, should “stfu” as many dumb men [& women alike] would put it.
October 12th, 2007 at 1:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: fdc2777593bc6
I’ve seen lots of guys use lol and stuff like it
October 13th, 2007 at 11:38 am - IP Man-Hash: 2ba964ccd78f2
Exactly. You (usually) don’t have to repeat yourself with a text. Plus it’s good for addresses and forwarded phone numbers.
October 17th, 2007 at 11:56 am - IP Man-Hash: b7f3b0863c76f
Men are better than women?? Isn’t that a laughing matter.
Men can’t or aren’t able to do half the things a women could.
Most men are a pathetic waste of air.
You’re probably just angry because a women could get laid by another women faster than you could get her number
You remember you ignorant, narrow minded, should’ve been swallowed spermie, that if it wasn’t for a women your small dicked self wouldn’t be here.
So tell me what couldn’t a women do?
October 17th, 2007 at 12:13 pm - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
A woman couldn’t fuck off my site.
-Dick
October 17th, 2007 at 12:17 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
The Laws of Women strike again.
Here’s what women can’t do: Shut the fuck up.
October 19th, 2007 at 5:37 pm - IP Man-Hash: ca8f1893ef3f6
What’s worse is when women use these acronyms in everyday speech, in letters, in term papers…
November 1st, 2007 at 1:54 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
Bullshit. Texting is good for booty calls and sending porn, don’t take away the Man-Aspects of it, Dick.
I use instant messaging to bang chicks, what it was MEANT for, which is what the entire Internet was meant for, not for fucking defense satellites and foreign country intel, BUT FOR THE RAPID LAYS AND KICK-ASS PORN MEN REQUIRE AT HIGH SPEED!
November 1st, 2007 at 1:56 am - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
That and I have my MANLY fuckin’ Samsung Blackjack that can play downloaded porn, AC/DC ring tones, send porn to people, and take pictures of my own…….Dick.
Tell me that fuckin’ shit isn’t Man-Brilliant in nature.
December 18th, 2007 at 5:21 pm - IP Man-Hash: ceba0b864d3bc
Item one: Women can’t use correct grammar. (See first bold item.)
Item two: Women can’t be decent. Women can’t respect other women. You called Dick’s mother a whore by implying she’s a cum guzzling slut. (Reference bold item number two.)
December 18th, 2007 at 5:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: ceba0b864d3bc
I almost forgot. You also should have made correct grammatical use of punctuation in your ever so original adjectives. Your hate post, done properly, should have read “narrow-minded, should’ve-been-swallowed, and small-dicked.”
December 22nd, 2007 at 4:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 57628421459e1
Text messaging is for people who have too much money and not enough words. Since the people I talk to are on the same network as me, I can call them for free whenever I want. Not so with text messaging. That costs me money. Money I could be spending on things that aren’t text messaging. Like the rest of my phone bill.
And the phrase “LOL” is inaccurate anyways. Seriously, when people type that, are they really laughing out loud? No. They never are. That’s why I use “FLOL”. Fake LOL. Luckily, I don’t need to use it often, but there are times where a sarcastic, cryptic response is sorely needed.
February 14th, 2008 at 5:47 pm - IP Man-Hash: 1ace054919063
LOLZ….Oh my God, I’m sorry :[
March 11th, 2008 at 9:25 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7247a1a1cd502
Women just don’t use the internet quick slang, a lot of people do it chat forums, msn, the list doesn’t end. The fact is that little girls who this because they’ve got nothing else to say of interest, be siding the point they can’t spell things out ether. As for the magazines god knows why they print this shit and females read it.
GIWIWAS = God, I Wish I Was A Stripper.
brilliant!
March 22nd, 2008 at 8:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 822c948329db7
I think, as most people have pointed out, women just don’t use these things. Girls do, and boys.
I have no idea what half of those abbreviations mean.
I do confess to often making spelling and punctuation errors, this is for the purposes of time saving. I type things quickly, how I think them, and see no point in reviewing what someone will clearly understand anyway. After all, this is an informal environment. I wouldn’t spell things incorrectly on a cv as much as you would say “cunt” in an interview.
Why would I waste my time correcting everything I type, after all, there is all that washing to be done, that cock to be sucked, that hoovering to do, right?
You know when you are winning an argument when the only responses fathomed are “you spelt that word wrong”.
yeah, wow, coz that was the fucking point! They have clearly understood it. Really they have no come back and this was the best they could fathom. What is next?your dad is bigger than my dad?
March 26th, 2008 at 12:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: 43b802c950302
Text messaging is only a loss of man-points if you’re not passing information over it. Witness the text-messaged conversation between me (on the Kenai Peninsula) and my roomate (stuck in Juneau).
Him: the entire office staff at XXXXXXX, inc. just got fired.
Me: Did Shannon know it was coming?
Him: Nope.
Me: What’s her husband got to say?
Him: He’s ok with it, for now.
Me: Incredibly weak. You gonna make it home by wednesday?
Him: No, I’ve asked Joe to swing by and take care of the animals tuesday night.
Me: Ok, thanks. Cheers!
three topics covered, useful information passed, and a difficulty overcome (I was in a high noise area and couldn’t ‘talk’ per se)
Tell me that isn’t manly.
April 11th, 2008 at 11:20 pm - IP Man-Hash: 09b607c8c4b90
Not being a cunt, for one. Seems like you can’t quite grasp that yet.
April 25th, 2008 at 2:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 635b9c8a2a462
what a fucking joke it doesnt surprise me at all that your single and always will be LMFAO
ROFL