What’s On Oxygen At 11:30PM?
I was sent this question by Marco the Man.
I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host. Why are most talk-show hosts men?
All late night talk-show hosts are men because people are trying to have sex during “late night”. There’s nothing that’s more unpleasant to hear during sex than a woman comedian laughing awkwardly at her own jokes, while a studio audience sits in silence, twiddling their funny-bones.
Sex is why Leno has higher ratings than Letterman. The presence of a black man in the bedroom (even on television) sends women into a frenetic sexual hysteria. Paul Schafer is not even a little bit black.
Letterman is so manly he even has “man” right there in his name.
If women hosted late night talk shows, every single joke in every single monologue would be followed by one woman monkey-shrieking with laughter: the host. Women laugh like pigs getting branded. And they orgasm just like they laugh. I don’t want to hear either of that shit coming from my television set after midnight. My neighbors might think I’m some sort of porn addict.
That’s bad because my neighbors watch a lot of Law and Order, and on that show, the porn addicts are always stashing bodies somewhere.
To judge the “goodness” of something, I find a reliable indicator is to gage how much women dislike that something.
For example: ass slapping. Women pretend like they hate getting slapped on the ass, but they love it. It’s a good thing. Also, hearing how much weight they’ve gained or how much they act like their mother. Ignoring a spare tire isn’t going to make it go away. Ignoring is bad. Honesty is good. Rewarding a woman for muttering to herself when she takes issue with something isn’t going to discourage that behavior. That’s like jerking off a dog because he won’t stop humping your leg. That’s sick and wrong.
Men are better than women.
Women dislike late night talk-shows. They would rather watch reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond because that way it would be completely fucking impossible for anyone to have sex with anyone – even themselves.
Late night talk-shows are commercial and promotional machines. If women were hosts, their attention mongering and greed would be the twenty-pound, greasy wrench that ruined the music, movie, and publishing industries.
It takes four women to host the View and that’s only possible because they all hate each other, and their audience is just slightly dumber than the group watching The Wiggles.
Women will never be late night talk-show hosts because a Jeep commercial and a musical interlude is not a perfect segue into a woman talking about her cheating husband. Maybe he cheated because she’s the kind of woman who would go on national television and talk about it. Maybe she preemptively deserved it?
No, that’s not true. That would mean some women don’t pre-emptively deserve it.
Related Articles:
August 20th, 2007 at 7:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
I’d shit a condom-inium all by my little self if you could come up with a valid reference for that figure.
Sonyad, the reference is right here on Wikipedia.
August 21st, 2007 at 12:48 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Anus_of_a_model_by_David_Shankbone.jpg
Really?! Cross your heart and hope to die atop a turd?
- Bump - Im Rushing (Dave Spoon Vocal Mix)
August 21st, 2007 at 9:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae179e9967da1
What’s your fucking beef with me, dude? So I tore up your post because you didn’t put an ounce of thought into it. Write a better post next time. Be a man and get over it. The grudges are soooooo tatoos and nipple piercings.
August 22nd, 2007 at 5:40 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
That fact that you’re an ass.
September 26th, 2007 at 8:33 pm - IP Man-Hash: 510ea78f5e3c3
Dick you know some femoes actully think men are less evoled than women because our y has less genes but i have one statment for them”less is more”
December 7th, 2007 at 12:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: b4fa96aec9c0e
Dear Dick,
How many generation will it take for men to grow up and stop trying to repress women? How long will it take for men to stop being ignorant and treat the rest of mankind with respect? Oh man, you make me laugh! Everything I read about you makes me wonder if I’m actually a woman because none of it applies to me… BUT then I realize it doesn’t apply to a lot of women… you are so ignorant and I’m not even trying to insult, I just feel so bad for you. There is no way you can lead a life filled with such disrespect and hate and still look in the mirror and night and think you are a good person. Well, whether you are a good person or not I have no idea, but I do know you have some radical views that are more dangerous than you realize. Is this how you earn your income? Do you like this fame? I know you don’t believe everything you say, you may be able to fool everyone else, but not me. You get on here and you babble about this and that and go off forever on some rant but when I email you with real questions you can’t come up with anything more than “Are you hot?” So what the fuck is the deal?
December 7th, 2007 at 1:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: b8405237488c6
Dear Kelly B,
I’m sorry your a childless cat-herder. The end.
December 10th, 2007 at 12:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: b4fa96aec9c0e
Okay that made no sense at all… I’m a childless cat-herder? What does that have to do with Dick’s ignorance? It disgusts me I feel like when I come on this website I step 100 years back in time… that’s how backwards and ignorant you men are. Pathetic really. Anyways I’m going to go spend time with my boyfriend now and be happy while you guys sit there and mope and bitch and complain cause no girl will want your sorry fucking asses.
December 10th, 2007 at 1:28 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0264d76590fb0
Fine by me.
December 12th, 2007 at 10:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 2e05bce9aa92e
“I feel like when I come on this website I step 100 years back in time… ”
I can see how you’d feel that way; what with the global military issues , US economy facing financial turmoil, and a small group of people building gender-specific clubs, and directing radical banter at an entire gender.
But those women got it wrong, as they often do, and really screwed things up.
We’re here to fix that.
December 12th, 2007 at 10:15 am - IP Man-Hash: 60c984a618a05
It’s good that she at least has a nice mangina to define herself by. Of course, more likely than not, her boyfriend knows that she’s just an insecure fuck buddy but she lacks the life experience to accept the blindingly obvious, as girlys always do. Hence, she makes the wedding plans and practices telling him that she won’t want to work after the baby, he notices that she’s a creepy fuck-and-chuck and leaves while he still can.
Run along, little girly-girl. Just the fact that you define today’s society as advanced proves beyond doubt that you are just another stupid little girly-girl. Stupid whore, just fuck off.
A-fucking-men. We need to fix things up and put girly-girls like Kelley back on the streets - where they belong, and can show exactly how independent and free-spirited they are. A good first step would be to distribute those girly-girl homepages to suspicious parents along with the necessary forms to get the girly disowned and placed in a special center for special people who are so warped and jaded, they can not contribute to society.
February 7th, 2008 at 7:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 59cfdf4919a1b
February 7th, 2008 at 1:36 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7288b00e588db
Chelsea Handler.
February 7th, 2008 at 1:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0a379370a5fd8
I am sure that made sense to the clairvoyents among us……..Erin.
February 7th, 2008 at 10:12 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7288b00e588db
I was responding to part of the initial question.
“I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host.”
Chelsea Handler.
I don’t usually read the posts because the conclusions people come to are lacking facts. It’s pointless.
February 11th, 2008 at 11:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0e3864174cdfb
I was responding to part of the initial question.
“I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host.”
Chelsea Handler.
I don’t usually read the posts because the conclusions people come to are lacking facts. It’s pointless.
Too bad nobody fucking knows who Chelsea Handler is.
February 20th, 2008 at 12:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 7288b00e588db
That’s because the only thing you probably watch is “Trick My Truck” and “Dog the Bounty Hunter.” Two manly shows for the manliest of the manly. Besides, Chelsea’s tits are better than David Letterman’s… as are the jokes.
April 8th, 2008 at 1:07 am - IP Man-Hash: e6ba0505713d8
*The presence of a black man in the bedroom (even on television) sends women into a frenetic sexual hysteria.*
i thought all women were racist.. hah fuck i know i am..and that statement is disgusting.. filthy niggers
April 8th, 2008 at 1:14 am - IP Man-Hash: e6ba0505713d8
who gives a fuck about man points… dick has lost many many white points.. what a piece of shit nigger luvin piece of garbage he is
May 8th, 2008 at 7:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 51b46cd8e4d07
A. Who the fuck is Chelsea Handler?
B. She probably has a room full of Man writers telling her how not to be a dumb fucking slut on TV, yet she probably still fucks up.
C. I’d google her if I wasnt damn sure that the first 20 links would lose me man points and the second 20 links would be her taking her top off in a mardi gras video or some shit