What’s On Oxygen At 11:30PM?

I was sent this question by Marco the Man.

I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host. Why are most talk-show hosts men?

All late night talk-show hosts are men because people are trying to have sex during “late night”. There’s nothing that’s more unpleasant to hear during sex than a woman comedian laughing awkwardly at her own jokes, while a studio audience sits in silence, twiddling their funny-bones.

Sex is why Leno has higher ratings than Letterman. The presence of a black man in the bedroom (even on television) sends women into a frenetic sexual hysteria. Paul Schafer is not even a little bit black.

Letterman is so manly he even has “man” right there in his name.

If women hosted late night talk shows, every single joke in every single monologue would be followed by one woman monkey-shrieking with laughter: the host. Women laugh like pigs getting branded. And they orgasm just like they laugh. I don’t want to hear either of that shit coming from my television set after midnight. My neighbors might think I’m some sort of porn addict.

That’s bad because my neighbors watch a lot of Law and Order, and on that show, the porn addicts are always stashing bodies somewhere.

To judge the “goodness” of something, I find a reliable indicator is to gage how much women dislike that something.

For example: ass slapping. Women pretend like they hate getting slapped on the ass, but they love it. It’s a good thing. Also, hearing how much weight they’ve gained or how much they act like their mother. Ignoring a spare tire isn’t going to make it go away. Ignoring is bad. Honesty is good. Rewarding a woman for muttering to herself when she takes issue with something isn’t going to discourage that behavior. That’s like jerking off a dog because he won’t stop humping your leg. That’s sick and wrong.

Men are better than women.

Women dislike late night talk-shows. They would rather watch reruns of Everyone Loves Raymond because that way it would be completely fucking impossible for anyone to have sex with anyone – even themselves.

Late night talk-shows are commercial and promotional machines. If women were hosts, their attention mongering and greed would be the twenty-pound, greasy wrench that ruined the music, movie, and publishing industries.

It takes four women to host the View and that’s only possible because they all hate each other, and their audience is just slightly dumber than the group watching The Wiggles.

Women will never be late night talk-show hosts because a Jeep commercial and a musical interlude is not a perfect segue into a woman talking about her cheating husband. Maybe he cheated because she’s the kind of woman who would go on national television and talk about it. Maybe she preemptively deserved it?

No, that’s not true. That would mean some women don’t pre-emptively deserve it.

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93 Comments in 84 threads.»

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Comment by LivianaMari
2008-07-30 12:03:13

How would you know?

Comment by Hans
2008-07-30 12:54:43

Because he applied his man-brain (which is bigger than yours for a reason) and figured it out from the historical data readily available.
The woman on the other hand just regurgitates the ridiculous feminist propaganda of the patriarchy without even having the slightest sense of how reality really works.

 
 
Comment by Lucy
2008-07-29 04:27:08

Well I just have a few things to say in favor of women. We had to work to get the right to vote, and it was just handed to men. We worked for most of our rights that we have today, while they were just handed to men. Now who sounds like the lazy ones here? If anyone, you men are spoiled and you feel that you have the right to say that we’re whores and such. Actually, porn and prostitution and shit are mostly influenced by men. If there weren’t horny men who couldn’t get laid and had to pay women (like most of you), then there would be no prostitutes. They’re just people trying to get by. They’re not trying to please you, obviously, or they wouldn’t have made you pay.

Comment by studioline
2008-07-29 05:28:35

Yep, Now after you have “motivated” us, by showing us your vomit, we are gonna drop everything, harry up and start chasing your ass, so your incompetent ass can get laid. “Nice try” but no tkanks, we are not interested. bye.

 
Comment by Arbalest
2008-07-29 08:29:07

Work? PFT. Men did most of the work for you. And Many men had to work for the right to vote. Poor white men, black men, etc. Men died to create unions for the working class. Men died to end things like slavery in their countries. Women got their rights because men worked for their rights for them. And about porn, when you girls stop becoming porn stars because it “empowers” you and whatever, then you can start complaining about it. I hate to burst your bubble, but women are in porn because they want to. Get off your spoiled high horse.

 
 
Comment by Helio
2008-06-27 07:49:40

BOY-friend, not MAN.
No man would have you.

Kelly B said:

Okay that made no sense at all… I’m a childless cat-herder? What does that have to do with Dick’s ignorance? It disgusts me I feel like when I come on this website I step 100 years back in time… that’s how backwards and ignorant you men are. Pathetic really. Anyways I’m going to go spend time with my boyfriend now and be happy while you guys sit there and mope and bitch and complain cause no girl will want your sorry fucking asses.

Comment by Hans
2008-07-30 14:09:30

“spend time”? Ah womanspeak for bitch and moan about idiotic things including some site where men dare to not bow and scrape endlessly to the vagina. Unlike your boyfriend who just wants to get laid and even puts up with your brainless drivel. Stupidly thinking he´ll have more peace that way.
Time and experience will tell him differently.

 
 
Comment by MEh
2008-06-27 06:08:57

AllWhoresLoveAssToMouth said:

A. Who the fuck is Chelsea Handler?

B. She probably has a room full of Man writers telling her how not to be a dumb fucking slut on TV, yet she probably still fucks up.

C. I’d google her if I wasnt damn sure that the first 20 links would lose me man points and the second 20 links would be her taking her top off in a mardi gras video or some shit

First quote on her page.

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.”

Yet again with the sex and women joking… damnit…

 
Comment by AllWhoresLoveAssToMouth
2008-05-08 07:14:19

A. Who the fuck is Chelsea Handler?

B. She probably has a room full of Man writers telling her how not to be a dumb fucking slut on TV, yet she probably still fucks up.

C. I’d google her if I wasnt damn sure that the first 20 links would lose me man points and the second 20 links would be her taking her top off in a mardi gras video or some shit

 
Comment by kuntvomit
2008-04-08 01:14:00

who gives a fuck about man points… dick has lost many many white points.. what a piece of shit nigger luvin piece of garbage he is

 
Comment by kuntvomit
2008-04-08 01:07:53

*The presence of a black man in the bedroom (even on television) sends women into a frenetic sexual hysteria.*

i thought all women were racist.. hah fuck i know i am..and that statement is disgusting.. filthy niggers

 
Comment by Erin
2008-02-20 00:17:02

Chode Nugget said:

I was responding to part of the initial question.
“I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host.”

Chelsea Handler.

I don’t usually read the posts because the conclusions people come to are lacking facts. It’s pointless.

Too bad nobody fucking knows who Chelsea Handler is.

That’s because the only thing you probably watch is “Trick My Truck” and “Dog the Bounty Hunter.” Two manly shows for the manliest of the manly. Besides, Chelsea’s tits are better than David Letterman’s… as are the jokes.

 
Comment by Chode Nugget
2008-02-11 23:27:26

I was responding to part of the initial question.
“I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host.”

Chelsea Handler.

I don’t usually read the posts because the conclusions people come to are lacking facts. It’s pointless.

Too bad nobody fucking knows who Chelsea Handler is.

 
Comment by Erin
2008-02-07 22:12:40

King Wang said:

I am sure that made sense to the clairvoyents among us……..Erin.

I was responding to part of the initial question.
“I can’t think of a single late night female talk-show host.”

Chelsea Handler.

I don’t usually read the posts because the conclusions people come to are lacking facts. It’s pointless.

 
Comment by King Wang
2008-02-07 13:44:29

I am sure that made sense to the clairvoyents among us……..Erin.

 
Comment by Erin
2008-02-07 13:36:29

Chelsea Handler.

 
Comment by Cunt Puncher
2008-02-07 07:18:12

Catherine said:

Catherine said:

And if that doesn’t get a “Get the hell off my site” from Dick I don’t know what will. Truth be told, I don’t know why he hasn’t told me that already.

ARE YOU THERE, DICK? IT’S ME, CATHERINE!!!”

That dude seems more like god all the time. Never fulfills a direct request, and then slaps you upside the head when you least expect it.

Chris said:

“Will you supply the meat?”
“I’m ready for you, dick. But you’ll have to wait in line, cause sonyad’s first.”
Rather brazen comments, Cathy. :)

That’s so mild an insult, I smell something of a peace offering about it, Chris. Plus, you’re still talking to me. Perhaps wolfe was right. I know you can’t be nice to me without losing man points, so I’m going to take this for way more than its face value and assume you’re one of the good ones.

@god I promise, if you tell me to get the fuck of the site I will!!! Please, I’m almost begging for it. Hell, I am begging for it!

 
Comment by Doubt Fish
2007-12-12 10:15:16

It’s good that she at least has a nice mangina to define herself by. Of course, more likely than not, her boyfriend knows that she’s just an insecure fuck buddy but she lacks the life experience to accept the blindingly obvious, as girlys always do. Hence, she makes the wedding plans and practices telling him that she won’t want to work after the baby, he notices that she’s a creepy fuck-and-chuck and leaves while he still can.
Run along, little girly-girl. Just the fact that you define today’s society as advanced proves beyond doubt that you are just another stupid little girly-girl. Stupid whore, just fuck off.

alen said:

“I feel like when I come on this website I step 100 years back in time… ”

I can see how you’d feel that way; what with the global military issues , US economy facing financial turmoil, and a small group of people building gender-specific clubs, and directing radical banter at an entire gender.

But those women got it wrong, as they often do, and really screwed things up.
We’re here to fix that.

A-fucking-men. We need to fix things up and put girly-girls like Kelley back on the streets - where they belong, and can show exactly how independent and free-spirited they are. A good first step would be to distribute those girly-girl homepages to suspicious parents along with the necessary forms to get the girly disowned and placed in a special center for special people who are so warped and jaded, they can not contribute to society.

 
Comment by alen
2007-12-12 10:06:12

“I feel like when I come on this website I step 100 years back in time… ”

I can see how you’d feel that way; what with the global military issues , US economy facing financial turmoil, and a small group of people building gender-specific clubs, and directing radical banter at an entire gender.

But those women got it wrong, as they often do, and really screwed things up.
We’re here to fix that.

 
Comment by detached
2007-12-10 13:28:45

Fine by me.

 
Comment by Kelly B
2007-12-10 12:18:53

Okay that made no sense at all… I’m a childless cat-herder? What does that have to do with Dick’s ignorance? It disgusts me I feel like when I come on this website I step 100 years back in time… that’s how backwards and ignorant you men are. Pathetic really. Anyways I’m going to go spend time with my boyfriend now and be happy while you guys sit there and mope and bitch and complain cause no girl will want your sorry fucking asses.

 
Comment by detached
2007-12-07 13:54:24

Kelly B said:

Snipped a bunch of shaming language and victimization propaganda

Dear Kelly B,
I’m sorry your a childless cat-herder. The end.

Comment by Demi
2008-07-30 13:40:11

Dear Detached,
I’m sorry you have to make assumptions and slam people just so you can feel better about yourself and retain your illusions. The end.

 
 
Comment by Kelly B
2007-12-07 12:57:40

Dear Dick,
How many generation will it take for men to grow up and stop trying to repress women? How long will it take for men to stop being ignorant and treat the rest of mankind with respect? Oh man, you make me laugh! Everything I read about you makes me wonder if I’m actually a woman because none of it applies to me… BUT then I realize it doesn’t apply to a lot of women… you are so ignorant and I’m not even trying to insult, I just feel so bad for you. There is no way you can lead a life filled with such disrespect and hate and still look in the mirror and night and think you are a good person. Well, whether you are a good person or not I have no idea, but I do know you have some radical views that are more dangerous than you realize. Is this how you earn your income? Do you like this fame? I know you don’t believe everything you say, you may be able to fool everyone else, but not me. You get on here and you babble about this and that and go off forever on some rant but when I email you with real questions you can’t come up with anything more than “Are you hot?” So what the fuck is the deal?

Comment by John
2008-07-30 13:31:23

By “treat you with respect”, you probably mean the feminist indoctrinated version of “respect” for females, which is equivalent to treating you like an homosexual male.

No thank you. I prefer my women biometrically feminine, obedient and understanding their place (ie. psychologically normal by biological criteria).

Comment by Demi
2008-07-30 13:37:45

Then you’re just an insecure guy who just wants to feel like a big man

Comment by John
2008-07-31 12:37:23

Biological normality as “inadequacy”. Very classic feminist sophistry which falls apart on superficial scrutiny.

If it is “insecurity” about “masculinity” which causes a man to be repelled by women who demonstrate masculine traits and characteristics, then by your logic, those limp-wristed effeminate homosexuals must by the epitome of “masculinity”.

I love those who accuse a man of being “not man enough” to handle a “real woman” (read: a functional female-to-male transexual). No, I prefer my women biologically *normal* and *feminine*, consistent with what millions of years of evolution or divine design has imprinted in the motivational matrix of the psychologically normal human male.

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Comment by Aidan
2007-09-26 20:33:55

Dick you know some femoes actully think men are less evoled than women because our y has less genes but i have one statment for them”less is more”

Comment by John
2008-07-30 13:28:03

Not how it works, but even going by the line of thought that more genetic material = better, men still have the advantage.

Women only have 45 functional chromosomes in each of their somatic body cells due to “X inactivation” during early development. (One random X chromosome is inactivated in each cell, and taken apart to form the Barr body.) Men retain function of all 46 including the Y chromosome.

 
 
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