When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up
People are always asking me what the qualities of the perfect wife are. Mostly men. That’s because women don’t give a fuck about what makes a perfect wife.
Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.
Maybe instead of romantic comedies they should be called documentaries.
The perfect wife is one who knows when to shut the fuck up. That’s it. I think Indiana Jones said it best.
“You’re insulting them and you’re embarrassing me.” -Indiana Jones
That’s all women do when they speak: insult and embarrass; them and me respectively. That’s why the perfect wife just has to know when to shut the fuck up. I’ve always said women are like works of art. Even if they’re atrocious and moody (which they mostly are) they can be enjoyed because you can look away or close your eyes whenever you’re done with them.
For some help on this topic, here’s my helpful set of rules for women on knowing when the fuck to shut the fuck up. I call it Dick’s Guide On The Prudence Of Women Shutting The Fuck Up.
1. Shut up when a man is talking or when a man starts to talk.
2. Shut up when a man stops talking suddenly.
That first rule is a man-obvious one, even wild animals follow it. The second, however, is the key to the perfect wife. It’s the extra mile. See, when a woman is speaking and insulting and embarrassing everyone, the man she’s with will likely stop speaking from insult or embarrassment. It happens every day. I used to be a bartender so you can trust me on that one.
Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave. It’s because everyone else is doing it. That’s all I’m saying here. Women don’t know how to speak or be civilized. It’s like cricket to them. Women just need to take their cues on shutting the fuck up from everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s smart (womanly speaking).
Let me put it like this. You know how we have toilets as a species? That’s because running around shitting all over ourselves and sleeping in it is for animals, not for humans. Humans doing it would be embarrassing. When women speak it’s exactly the same thing. It makes all men feel a little less human. It reminds us that yes, we too were once running around shitting all over ourselves and trying to eat fucking rocks or some stupid shit like that — something nearly as stupid as a twenty minute conversation on why American football is “practically the same game” that football is in the rest of the world.
What the fuck?
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February 21st, 2008 at 8:53 am - IP Man-Hash: c920e0d3b5469
I’m sure he’ll be less garrulous after the Divorce…
February 21st, 2008 at 3:19 pm - IP Man-Hash: c0ffbe38c0a1f
This country would rather have a black president that a women, sad, but true. I guess what I am trying to say is this site is fucked up… Period!!
…Someone tell me that was a idiot and not a regular american. That hurts my brain to read.
February 23rd, 2008 at 1:28 am - IP Man-Hash: 03b48d068c93f
Are you gay? What the fuck would you do without a women? You call us trash and empty space….if we were not around where would you put your fucking nasty cock! when it comes to sex we are not empty space are we?
Your mother must suck you off pretty good if your faggot ass is so anti-women!!
FUCK OFF PRICK!!!
February 23rd, 2008 at 6:27 am - IP Man-Hash: 4b8494f25ae28
We are always right.
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/mael.txt
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/t.txt
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/krs.txt
http://salmonofdoubt.110mb.com/rch.txt
March 10th, 2008 at 4:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: 40a6f327786ab
I am going to kill all of you. I swear. You think this is a joke and I can’t do it, but I swear to God, before the end of my life I will ensure that you die.
You are going to laugh at this, you are going to talk about how I must be a woman, how I need to shut up, etc. It’s fine.
March 10th, 2008 at 4:22 pm - IP Man-Hash: 60bbd967a6d59
You sound like someone to whom this subject is a sore one, friend.
March 10th, 2008 at 4:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 66307f2033b1b
I’m at 40 deg 50′03.25N/74 deg 30′25.51W
Come on down anytime!
March 12th, 2008 at 11:52 am - IP Man-Hash: 57c26bd1792bd
i agree, why is anoyone wasting their time debating on this website? Whether this is just a joke site, or whether this guy really is the idiot he presents himself as, there really is no point in spending a lot of time postnig inlelligent arguments here. THere are better things to do! .. And i’m sure i’ll regret stumbling on this crap website, and spending 30 seconds making this comment.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:53 am - IP Man-Hash: 57c26bd1792bd
I agree, why is anyone wasting their time debating on this website? Whether this is just a joke site, or whether this guy really is the idiot he presents himself as, there really is no point in spending a lot of time posting intelligent arguments here. There are better things to do! … And i’m sure i’ll regret stumbling on this crap website, and spending 30 seconds making this comment.
March 19th, 2008 at 10:14 am - IP Man-Hash: 286b30fc785f3
Ok, you know, when i first saw this article i thought it was a joke. Men are better than women and all that? Load of shit!
1) You can’t have sex without women.
2) You may say they’re useless, but judging by the sort of person you are,
I’m guessing it’s not you who does your cleaning. It’s probably a woman, and if you go to the dry cleaners, there may be women working there!
3) There are millions of women working, probably right now and without them the economy would be totally destabilized.
4) Without women, you can’t have children and the human race WOULD NOT EXIST!
5) Women don’t have any of the male bravado shit which has clearly found its way to you in the masses.
Let me just ask, with that sort of mentality, how many girlfriends have YOU had? Obviously not much, because no sane woman would want to go out with somebody who treated them like shit on their shoe.
Also, to G money, first, I think you need to deal with your racism as you wrote: This country would rather have a black president that a women, sad, but true. Black people are just as important as white people, you ignorant fool. But, getting to the point, what you said about woman not being famous or doing anything, want to know why? BECAUSE OF ARROGANT PRICKS LIKE YOU AND THE PERSON WHO WROTE THIS ARTICLE NOT GIVING THEM A CHANCE.
Is your wife getting back with you soon, writer of the article? I hope she isn’t, the way you feel. You’re obviously just a stupid prick, and i have 2 sentences to prove this:
Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.
You’re just too fucking stupid to understand these movies because of your mindframe! And 2:
Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave.
Um, i’m just 13, and yet I know how a fucking cricket match works, and most people do. Oh no wait, correction. Most people who aren’t arrogant men who are never going to get laid EVER.
You need to get a life, or all you’re going to be reduced to is some stupid fat 60 year old sitting on his mother’s chair having a wank whilst occasionally getting phone calls from other stupid fuckers like you. GET A LIFE.
Oh and BTW i say all this, as a MAN.
March 26th, 2008 at 6:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4913e5320b041
ummmmm…
1.) you have way to much fuckin time on your hands
2.) you are a gigantic homosexual
it’s degenerates like you who are ruining this country. honestly… like 12 people really care what you think and are all fucking ape shit about it. other than that, your opinion really doesn’t matter and it is also kind of sad.
i really don’t understand why you have so much hate in your life… it really is not good for you. i bet you what happened was this guy got COMPLETELY dicked over by some woman that he was maaaadly in love with and then just flew off the handle with rage.
it’s okay. at least you have your cute little website to take your anger out on :)
faaaaaaggggggg
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
March 26th, 2008 at 7:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: d653cff06dec4
Cuck says what?
April 7th, 2008 at 5:12 am - IP Man-Hash: 2ae2c702514ca
there is no need to waste time on iossues like this
hksjh
April 23rd, 2008 at 8:58 am - IP Man-Hash: 7df871ec47ee7
Don’t these rules apply equally to men? Shouldn’t men be quiet if their spouse realises they’ve made a social faux pas?
A statement to the effect of “men don’t make mistakes” is an outright lie, as clearly Dick’s father made at least one, this website is proof enough of that fact.
Further, Dick has failed to state WHY this rule only applys to men and not women. You could switch the two words around in this argument and the logic would work well either way.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:02 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae7411819c740
I think most people need to know when to shut the fuck up.
This extends to all colors, origins, and gonads.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:24 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae7411819c740
I’ll agree, many ladies need to learn to shut the fuck up. But I’ll tell you something, this is a wisdom that you are not transmitting well.
Perhaps you should examine the deeper issue here. And if it is of biological origins, keep in mind the human mind has the potential to do great things, despite itself. A woman can be taught.
In my experience, I believe women do speak extensively because it feels GOOD to them. You know how much we like sex? Feels good right? Well hey, talking is their pleasure. I think that it makes up for feelings of anxiety and fear that they often experience, especially when in the presence of men. In fact, oxytocin is released more in a woman than in men as a result of speaking. With this in mind, the behavior of woman should be forgivable, even if not nurtured. If you are empathetic to a woman’s needs, and make her feel comfortable with your presence, chances are she will not speak excessively about crap. Then again, women also speak more as a form of connection. So maybe if she feels more comfortable with you, she actually will be inclined to speak more! Ahh! There’s no escaping it! Well, at least when they are comfortable with you, they speak with more conviction, and about more significant topics. If you can play your way into their world and their lives, and understand where they are coming from, you will come to appreciate the beauty of their voices. If a woman is talking stupid, attribute it to her being stupid, not to her being a woman. Same with men. I like what Asbi said, “This extends to all colors, origins, and gonads”. I know plenty of women who are intellectual, classy, and speak well. Just face it, women are great. I’m willing to do whatever for them. We may speak different gender languages, but we all have the same goal.
Maybe men need to learn to speak the fuck up. I’m proposing a compromise for the sexes.
Also, men feel the authority to make all definitions, and place all the values. Well, its just not happening. Sure, to us, it is more civilized to know when to shut the fuck up. But to women, its more civilized to not hit, molest, and kill things. “Woah woah woah” We say “We dont all molest! And we only hit and kill things to protect women! Its our nature! You need us to be like this. This is why we were made this way” Well, apply that thinking to the way a woman is. We’re different, that’s clear. But the values of each gender are important to the functioning of society. We keep one another in check.
-Rick
May 6th, 2008 at 3:11 pm - IP Man-Hash: ae7411819c740
I don’t think he’s an idiot. I don’t believe it is a joke site either. You must at least give him the credit due for his wit. C’mon, the man has some creative analogies, wouldn’t ya say? He does make valid points at times, too. Besides, it seems that half of everything he says is poking fun at men. Let’s hope that his spelling errors are the only jokes here.
Don’t be bitter. I could easily make a Dick-like manment right here right now. Observe..
I’m glad you didn’t waste your time typing out a comment on your prediction of your regret about wasting your time typing a comment. However, you have wasted my time with this stupid post. I’m sure there are better things for you to do; like sitting around on your ass, eating all of the food your man purchased for you, and clipping your toe-nails while watching soap-operas like a disgusting woman. Oh wait, that was redundant. Now get the fuck off my site.
See, anybody can be rude while using proper grammar, and seem intelligent. Judging by this tactic, I would say Dick is actually a conniving woman trying to make men look bad.
And it is especially mantastic that he is probably making money off the ever-so-clever remarks of his. See, man making money using manskills; man-points right there. Dick is like religion. Catch my drift?
May 11th, 2008 at 6:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 0ae520af6d01b
Come get some.
May 12th, 2008 at 4:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 2ebb16917b8c1
Somebody plz go and assassinate this scumbag.He doesn’t realize that he was born out of a woman.
May 13th, 2008 at 11:15 am - IP Man-Hash: e5bc526d9851a
SUCK MA DICK
and women should shut the fuck up and suck ma dick.