When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up
People are always asking me what the qualities of the perfect wife are. Mostly men. That’s because women don’t give a fuck about what makes a perfect wife.
Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.
Maybe instead of romantic comedies they should be called documentaries.
The perfect wife is one who knows when to shut the fuck up. That’s it. I think Indiana Jones said it best.
“You’re insulting them and you’re embarrassing me.” -Indiana Jones
That’s all women do when they speak: insult and embarrass; them and me respectively. That’s why the perfect wife just has to know when to shut the fuck up. I’ve always said women are like works of art. Even if they’re atrocious and moody (which they mostly are) they can be enjoyed because you can look away or close your eyes whenever you’re done with them.
For some help on this topic, here’s my helpful set of rules for women on knowing when the fuck to shut the fuck up. I call it Dick’s Guide On The Prudence Of Women Shutting The Fuck Up.
1. Shut up when a man is talking or when a man starts to talk.
2. Shut up when a man stops talking suddenly.
That first rule is a man-obvious one, even wild animals follow it. The second, however, is the key to the perfect wife. It’s the extra mile. See, when a woman is speaking and insulting and embarrassing everyone, the man she’s with will likely stop speaking from insult or embarrassment. It happens every day. I used to be a bartender so you can trust me on that one.
Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave. It’s because everyone else is doing it. That’s all I’m saying here. Women don’t know how to speak or be civilized. It’s like cricket to them. Women just need to take their cues on shutting the fuck up from everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s smart (womanly speaking).
Let me put it like this. You know how we have toilets as a species? That’s because running around shitting all over ourselves and sleeping in it is for animals, not for humans. Humans doing it would be embarrassing. When women speak it’s exactly the same thing. It makes all men feel a little less human. It reminds us that yes, we too were once running around shitting all over ourselves and trying to eat fucking rocks or some stupid shit like that — something nearly as stupid as a twenty minute conversation on why American football is “practically the same game” that football is in the rest of the world.
What the fuck?
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Ladies,
When you get tired of this crap with the men, come to THE WOMANS site on dicks “top 10 reasons” WOMAN HAVE TAKEN IT OVER>>>>
Women should be seen, not heard. All women should follow Dick’s rules about when to shut up.
WOW men vs women is this all you fucking ppl have to talk about get a fucking life! PWN’ED!!!! BTW Sgts graduate from high school, they don’t let retards in the military, unless its the army in which case they smoke weed. Now the Marines thats the guy you wanna fuck!!
were the men…..what men
omg i love this site….gonna get all the WOMAN to come on ere lol
and before you feminist go saying that we men are biased about tests, heres a comment from Diamatik website from a WOMEN:
“It has long been accepted that IQ tests are gender-biased: they are designed by men to test ‘male intelligence’, such as spatial awareness. They simply do not cover all aspects of intelligence. Therefore it is no surprise that a test designed by men, and a study carried out by men, has found that men are ‘more intelligent’ than women.
Jenny, London ”
See here, she refuses to accept the validity of the tests just because they were created by men. Why then does she not refuse to use the tools and inventions that men created because they were made “by men” so they must be “for men” only? Simply fucktarded. Dumb bitches.
Oh, laughing are we there Female? Hows your marriage? On the rocks yet bitch? Fucking hypocritical slut.
Yadayayydya. How smart are you dumb cunt? I gladly suck your vagina but you come off as old and ugly and stinking with STDs. Since we are talking about “smarts” and “graduating high school”, I like you to know that the women who “graduated” through high school like Miss Teen Carolina Slut are the perfect examples of how affirmative action plays in your god damn hands. Smart? LMAO. A WOMEN TALKING ABOUT being smart?
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA. Inventing a space shuttle, thats smart. Formulating equations, thats smart. But talking shit off a MAN’s board, that = fucktarded.
Of course she cheated. Plain and fucking simple. Lets peg the achievements of men vs women and there we have it. Your GENDER COLLECTIVELY fails to beat a single man and here you go saying you beat men in “IQ” tests - lmao.
I dont even know what to say for this loser.. I feel so sorry about his parents
Why would you wish him herpes?
Ah, yes. Spoken by a man who comes off as never graduating high school. Congratulations, you’re not intelligent or witty. Just a moron who can’t seem to shut the fuck up.
Suck my vagina motherfucker.
I’ll take the bait. Why do you think the way you do?
I like the fact you called her Betty (J). J, are you offering yourself up as a sextoy? Sweet! Just like countless others have to me and men in my platoon!
Other than that, the rest of what you said made no sense at all and didn’t drive any point home to anyone. Well, actually you did! I believe this article was “When women should shut the fuck up”. I think you’ve just given us a live demonstration of exactly that! Thanks for being our little example subject. Now go back to your seat at the end of the classroom and speak when we give you permission, and please raise your fucking hand.
I actually appreciate a women who bothers to ask why I think the way I do and shows some signs of life in that dusty, windblown, eroded and desolate, void you call her brain. Here’s a suggestion for you. Why don’t you just go fuck yourself?
MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN!
-Sgt. Reyes
WRONG!!!!!
As a typical woman, you just make up stuff and claim that it is factual. The real proof can be found here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/education/4183166.stm
Men are better than women.
The opposite has already been statistically inferred.
- Mika - Relax [Take It Easy]
Hee hee, that isn’t exactly the case, now, is it?
And so far, there’s been so much beneficial sexism in the schools - you may notice that men are denied their right to an education for being ‘brutish’ and violent…
But sluts are encouraged to attend, and even given a pro-gurl slant, for overcoming their poor decisions in life. Pregnant sluts getting a few points automatically in tests?
And, as I can see, J the slut, you automatically generalize a complex algorithm. It’s alright, you’re a gurl, society lets those things slide all the time in the name of equality. However, consider that our education system is anti-male and pro-conformist. If a man is expelled for, like, looking at a gurl’s cleavage or drawing pictures of guns - and if a gurl does the same thing to a man or draws said awful, horrid images, she’s empowered - it’s really quite a wonder than men continue to outperform gurlz on standardized tests.
You’re just spitting out the trash the media feeds you. Conservative or liberal, they’re all pro-gurl and anti-male. It doesn’t matter if it’s Fox or CNN, they’re all too afraid of the OMG lawsuits if they abuse their 1st amendment.
But hey, free speech that doesn’t involve mandatory castration or the abortion of male fetuses doesn’t suit the feminist agenda.
Just don’t forget that we made the world, and are stronger and smarter than you. A few more men jailed on the words of a stripper - yes, literally what a slut says - and you’ll find yourselves jeered at for being whores. It’s popular opinion, baby.
Heeheeheee
If it were proven to be true that women have higher average IQs than men, would you men even acknowledge it? Or would you just assume that every woman who took the test fucked the test booklet to get a better score? Maybe fucked the desk? Pencil?
Good news, boys!
I found your ideal woman:
She’s up for sex at any hour, and she’ll let you do anything you want. She’ll even do what you want her to do without bitching about it! Oral? You bet! Anal? What the hell?!?
She never leaves the house, but doesn’t cost a dime because she doesn’t eat, need clothing, or even shelter. (What a resilient woman!)
She doesn’t ever start conversations with you (that might interrupt valuable TV time), and doesn’t care if you call her any filthy name in the book.
When you want her to disappear, she’ll hide in a closet, under the bed, or even in a drawer. But anytime you want her, she’s ready to go!
Sound too good to be true? Your ideal mate?
Aww, she’s already been invented. Her name is Betty J. Blow-up-doll.
And I see some of you are already acquainted with her…now there’s a shocker!
Why is it men think they are better then women when scientist prove men are stupider then women? This means women have higher I.Q. Higher I.Q. means we are smarter dummy.
Why don’t men shut the fuck up…..