When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up
People are always asking me what the qualities of the perfect wife are. Mostly men. That’s because women don’t give a fuck about what makes a perfect wife.
Have you ever seen a “romantic” comedy? I say “romantic” because what it should be is “woman” comedy — and by woman I mean “shitty” or “not a”. Those bullshit movies are all about how horrible and fucking stupid women can behave whilst the right thing to do is staring them in face like a Stop sign, and how some poor schmuck with a job that lets him loaf around town all day doing nothing can be guilted into putting up with getting fucked over for two hours and calling a spade with a shrew nose a fucking prize pig by the end of it all.
Maybe instead of romantic comedies they should be called documentaries.
The perfect wife is one who knows when to shut the fuck up. That’s it. I think Indiana Jones said it best.
“You’re insulting them and you’re embarrassing me.” -Indiana Jones
That’s all women do when they speak: insult and embarrass; them and me respectively. That’s why the perfect wife just has to know when to shut the fuck up. I’ve always said women are like works of art. Even if they’re atrocious and moody (which they mostly are) they can be enjoyed because you can look away or close your eyes whenever you’re done with them.
For some help on this topic, here’s my helpful set of rules for women on knowing when the fuck to shut the fuck up. I call it Dick’s Guide On The Prudence Of Women Shutting The Fuck Up.
1. Shut up when a man is talking or when a man starts to talk.
2. Shut up when a man stops talking suddenly.
That first rule is a man-obvious one, even wild animals follow it. The second, however, is the key to the perfect wife. It’s the extra mile. See, when a woman is speaking and insulting and embarrassing everyone, the man she’s with will likely stop speaking from insult or embarrassment. It happens every day. I used to be a bartender so you can trust me on that one.
Imagine you’re at a cricket match. You don’t know how the game works because fucking no one does, but you know when to cheer and when to leave. It’s because everyone else is doing it. That’s all I’m saying here. Women don’t know how to speak or be civilized. It’s like cricket to them. Women just need to take their cues on shutting the fuck up from everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s smart (womanly speaking).
Let me put it like this. You know how we have toilets as a species? That’s because running around shitting all over ourselves and sleeping in it is for animals, not for humans. Humans doing it would be embarrassing. When women speak it’s exactly the same thing. It makes all men feel a little less human. It reminds us that yes, we too were once running around shitting all over ourselves and trying to eat fucking rocks or some stupid shit like that — something nearly as stupid as a twenty minute conversation on why American football is “practically the same game” that football is in the rest of the world.
What the fuck?
Related Articles:
Pages: « 11 10 [9] 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 » Show All
Once again, all western women are like this. We all know them, they’re all nothing but garbage. Stupid, liars, and hypocrites, always assuming they know more than the men doing all of the work. Oh, they could take over their own lives and accept responsibility, it’s just BELOW them to do so.
Let’s see how much longer you say that when in the blink of an eye you’re an lonely bloated 30-something with a useless, quota-enforced degree earned in a pro-pussy education environment and none of us will even give you the time of the day. Oh, karma is funny like that - and karma isn’t a bitch, he’s just fair.
Alright, with being totally confrontational, we should all remind Me why Manginas and being Lamely Gimp-ish is not cool.
But like all whiny retards, Me-opia is cracked the fuck out. Just more of the crack, with a hint of stupid.
I can’t deny banging your mother. She was damned good, even swallowed a little. Hey, gagging old gals is a MANS job, bitch.
Remember, being stupid AND speaking publicly are two things a Hunchback like yourself shouldn’t do. Like you said, one of you is a self-proclaimed Alcohol Whore (you know, flatbacking for free beer), and the other is not even good enough to be ME.
Alright, so without getting confrontational, I think we should all agree that the people on this website aren’t getting laid. Or they are retarded. Possibly a nasty combination of the two.
You can’t deny it. And I think it’s fucking hilarious, please keep at it.
I find this whole debate utterly hilarious. Both sides are just ridiculous. Though I will say, the opposing side I view as pathetic. Why the hell do they try so hard to make a point. Its not worth their time an effort because they’re just feeding the thoughts of the unopposed. Obviously the person who wrote it is either not getting laid, or he really IS that big of an ass, so people shouldn’t waist their breath. Get over yourselves. If you wanna save the world, go do something more productive. I’m beerbitch and I am a chick. Peaceout.
At least I dont sit on my ass all day infront of a com like you growing fat without anything to show for.
How do you pull that 5 lines of drivel together? If you actually read her post, you would notice both the ad hominems and the correlation to a screeching harpy. But as always, you love to have your ass kissed and to kiss ass.
Careful Ms Human. He’s getting angry soon he may need to prove himself to you by listing his high school achievements….
Proof? No one takes an ad hominem screeching harpy seriously. Fuck off this website.
See!! Now you got him all delusional and he is hearing screeching sounds. Well done Ms Human…you’ve sent him into a state of psychosis in which he hears high pitched sounds and randomly demands sexual favours so he feels as though he is superior. LMAO
You’re missing the point…..She’s discrediting it because she has obviously picked up that men are better at spatial awareness and the like, and this is what apparently determines most of the intelligence. And it just so happens that it is a study carried out by men, that asses intelligence with the greater emphasis on area in which men succeed.
Oh really? I dont think so. EQUAL to man? EQUAL? No, fuck no. Lick my nuts, no.
Proof? No one takes an ad hominem screeching harpy seriously. Fuck off this website.
The facts are that women have invented many many things that you to use in your everyday life and have had many scientific breakthroughs that have probably helped you or could very well help you in the future.
Of course in a patriarchal society tests made by western men for western men would ensure that men do better- that is just comman sense- I know you don’t have any however try very very hard to use what little brain you have to understand this.
These tests also put at a disadvantge men of other cultures how do you explain that???
How do you explain also the many women who do better then men on these tests???? I also imagine that most women and people of other cultures despit the disadvantages of such tests -to them -would still do far and away better then you. This is also a fact! I know you don’t uderstand why it is a fact- just the very fact that you use a web site like this to justify your pathetic ideas is testament to this!
Wouldn’t that be great -then you men would be in real trouble as the female would become far more valuable then they are now - and all of the men on here who obviously hate women because they find it almost impossible to get laid- would find it absolutely impossible. You sure wouldn’t ever get a woman then. China is realising it’s mistake because there are so many men who are now forced to be gay or celibate- just like all of the men on here- so you have something in comman allready. So don’t sweat it weirdo.
Women are a waste of space, china seems to have the right idea by killing the fuckers off.
Reread my actual post, go back to first grade then come back and tell me you were wrong.
@ Marc: Women are not allowed. Fuck off.
Congratulations Marc you are a woman and an asshole. To many caps and mentioning your man usually means you’re not one. Unless you’re one of the limp wristed variety.
Your insulting every living thing by calling yourselves MEN, your NOT men,
your an embarssment to conscienceness itself. I’m guessing that you are jelous that wonan have what you crave, pussies. You hate them because they don’t like you, thay don’t like you cuz your a war mungering fuck up, and you take it out on them. Have no fear ASSHOLES, your day WILL come. You are NOT getting away with anything, but your minds are far too small to understand even that. I’ll bet your good at killing things, arnt you. Go back to your WAR, where your can kill each other off, leave love, respect, and understanding to the rest of us, you obviously can’t handel it, after all, you KILL things. Even GOD can’t help YOU. I am a MAN, you are
wast of DNA.
Oooo, I found a great site. It is the top ten reasons men are better than women. It has nothing but women on it. Bye Bye you loosers.
Wow, I just came onto this site. I can’t believe the way you peeps are. And this Sgt. Reyes, please tell me he is not really in the military, THIS is what we have fighting for our country? Also, the Mansvoice, what is HIS problem? Why does he not think a woman can score high IQ test scores? You people need some real help. Anyone care for the name of a good therapist?
Ladies,
When you get tired of this crap with the men, come to THE WOMANS site on dicks “top 10 reasons” WOMAN HAVE TAKEN IT OVER>>>>
Women should be seen, not heard. All women should follow Dick’s rules about when to shut up.
WOW men vs women is this all you fucking ppl have to talk about get a fucking life! PWN’ED!!!! BTW Sgts graduate from high school, they don’t let retards in the military, unless its the army in which case they smoke weed. Now the Marines thats the guy you wanna fuck!!
were the men…..what men