Why Can’t Women Hook Up a VCR?
There are two things women can’t do:
Hook up a VCR and Everything.
If you have ever seen a woman do either of those two things, you were either manlucinating or watching a transvestite. Loss of Man Points for the latter.
The only thing a woman has ever hooked up is her best friend with probably the worst boyfriend she will have ever had. Women love setting their friends up with progressively shitty boyfriends. They’re like some manly explorers club where men in dapper hats and monocles congregate and discuss manly things like jungle safari adventures and shit, trying to top each other with daring and heroic exploits; except it’s women and their only goal is to fuck each other’s lives as horribly as possible.
That may sound deplorable and even ridiculous to you as a man, but as a man you also realize women love misery. They wear it like a medallion or a pair of uncomfortable shoes that were discounted at a price no one gives a fuck about. In the culture of women, which is a stupid and backward one, if one woman isn’t actively trying to fuck up the lives of all other women around her, she isn’t being a very good friend.
Chew on that with your man teeth.
It’s the same with a VCR. If the VCR is “working”, then there’s nothing to complain about. If there’s nothing to complain about, then a woman just might as well throw herself into traffic because she sure as hell can’t be productive like a man can. Look at it this way, when do you put new batteries in your smoke detector? After a fire of course. Women are the smoke detectors of life. When you’re already choking on burning timber, it’s their job to tell you so in the most obnoxious way possible. If men were smoke detectors the smoke detector would text message you with things to remember during a fire like stay down and keep your mouth covered and all the things you should drag out of the house.
And why the fuck do smoke detectors run on batteries anyway if they’re so fucking important. My doorbell never needs to be replaced.
The answer is because they’re exactly like women: useless and a poorly designed. I know when my house is on fire because my ass will be on fire. I know when the VCR is not hooked up because I will be in the middle of fucking hooking it up. I’m a man. I don’t need any alarm shrieking in my fucking ear like it knows a goddamn thing about anything.
Women can’t do shit, they can’t build shit, they can’t even eat delicious things like The Truth unless you shove it down their fucking throats. Why can’t they do a simple thing like hook up a VCR? Maybe they think it’s rape. How the fuck should I know.
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chicks can do anything men can do.
Really get them to do it then. Start with abolishing female sports. See how much of a living they make if they compete against males. If men stopped doing everything they do society would fail. If women did the same men would merely step into the jobs they’d vacated. So a few tax wasting jobs would stop if we prioritised.
Nope whimmin can not approach men.
whimmin can not kiss a man first.
whimmin can not give to a man a pelasure
whimmin can not call a man first.
whimmin can not buy a man a drink.
….
….
In fact whimmin do nothing else but invent lists of what they can not do and make threats to each other that if they did, they would be “SLUTS”.
At the end all whimmin can “do” is sit on their cunts and do nothing and be usefull for nothing.
Chrissy, you deserve a few bullets plugging up your head. Any takers?
That’s never gonna get you laid.
I feel honoured. You changed your name to attack me on my own. I really do think I’m falling in love with you. Here’s my email harryfjr@live.co.uk. If you’re not a fatty send some pics, maybe I’ll find some time to play with you a bit. *kiss*
Fellas: Have fun,I hope tonights date is still on a diet.
That’s “you’re” lying, you typical INFERIOR, stupid little PRICK.
You uneducated, lazy-minded turds deserve to be treated like the garbage you are. :)
English isn’t even my first language. And when you are as eloquent in German and French as I am in English… THEN you may comment on my spelling whore.
Now go make yourself useful, wrap your lips around a cock and play like a nice little sperm vacuum.
This is never gonna get you laid.
Harry, can you kill yourself? Please? You know you have no worth…….nobody thinks you are a man in the real world. :)
Where it REALLY starts to get funny…… is when these cunts are ALWAYS praying, hoping and dreaming to meet/date/marry men who are better than them…..
Better. Stronger. Smarter. Funnier. Wealthier. More stable. Capable. etc.
But then they like to PRETEND TO HAVE A PROBLEM with men who actually ARE better than them.
And you wish you could tell these stupid women….
“Honey, you will never be able to ENJOY a man like that, if you are going to pretend to have a problem with men who actually ARE like that.”
That’s whats so fucked up about women.
They hope and pray for men like this….but they HATE men who are like this, because they don’t know how to KEEP one of us interested for more than anything but her fuckhole.
And then they blame MEN for it….
Instead of themselves.
Just like those aging, pathetic, turkey-neck, martini guzzling, SexAndTheCity 40+ useless hookers.
Poor Chrissy, his girlfriend doesn’t want his stinking little tool anymore.
Where’s a knife when you need one? LOL
Poor Harry, came home early one day as an 8 year old to find his jobless daddy ramming one of his whores up the ass and can never find it in his heart to blame his father for being an abusive ass. :)
What’s the collective point, Harry, you UGLY, pathetic little excuse for a man? LOL
Run along, I think your 3 year old son wants his butthole stretched. :)
Shame we can’t meet eye to eye ;)
Its SHE who clearly wants her bunghole stretched.
Some women only deserve anal.
One of the sure fire ways to avoid the baby trap too ;)
I’m not sure this one deserves any time spent on her by a man.
Doesn’t matter.
Women will do ANYTHING for male attention. They will go out of their way, to intrude, try to insult, ANYTHING for more male attention.
They don’t know how to be lovely people, so being a cunt is easier for them. A woman would rather be beaten and abused – than ignored.
Sometimes is fucking disgusting what women will do and put themselves through.
Whatever.
I think I migght be falling in love with this one though, she’s so classy. Someone hit me quick.
”Women will do ANYTHING for male attention. They will go out of their way, to intrude, try to insult, ANYTHING for more male attention.”
She’s probably having a bad day on phone/cam sex.
Whatever the reason… women are never cunts to themselves.
Chris: Be happy in the knowledge you are actually better than her and you’ll earn your way like a man.
Harry, you couldn’t earn your way as your entire parasitic family has been living off the government teat for generations.
Try again, uneducated one. :)
Harry: I am actually happy that SHE knows we are better than her. And she went out of her way to prove it.
And she’ll prove it again by coming back with her shame attempts because she has nothing else. Water off a ducks back.
Poor Chrissy, nobody want he states, his own mother wishes she’d have beat his sorry head against a rock just after birth.
You are unwanted and obviously not getting any, FAG……….deal with it, you don’t even rate as human, BOY. :)
Harry, why didn’t your unfit parents ever register in school so you could have gotten an education and have made something out of your sorry excuse for a life?
Boy, you are so useless it’s FUNNY.
*kiss kiss*
Where it REALLY starts to get funny…… is when these cunts are ALWAYS praying, hoping and dreaming to meet/date/marry men who are better than them…..
Better. Stronger. Smarter. Funnier. Wealthier. More stable. Capable. etc.
But then they like to PRETEND TO HAVE A PROBLEM with men who actually ARE better than them.
And you wish you could tell these stupid women….
“Honey, you will never be able to ENJOY a man like that, if you are going to pretend to have a problem with men who actually ARE like that.”
That’s whats so fucked up about women.
They hope and pray for men like this….but they HATE men who are like this, because they don’t know how to KEEP one of us interested for more than anything but her fuckhole.
And then they blame MEN for it….
Instead of themselves.
Just like those aging, pathetic, turkey-neck, martini guzzling, SexAndTheCity 40+ useless hookers.
Right, I’m making ready to go out. I wonder how little I can get away with paying for it tonight ;).
See you’s.
Girl who doesn’t post her own name: Don’t worry hun, you’ll have better luck tomorrow with your chat clients. ;)
Have an excellent time.
Always remember–>> The only difference between sex for money and sex for free…. is that sex for money costs a HELL of a lot less.
Cheers bud, like I’ve said, that should be written in stone somewhere.
Chrissy boy, have you done the world a favour and killed that abusive piece of garbage who fathered you yet?
It’s not women’s fault you are so angry, boy, it’s that filth who fathered you. Kill the old bastard……the world is waiting! :)
Who thinks Dicko Masterson is just a failure in life because he’s so butt ugly?
Hands up, people……
Thanks for your input, wonderfully proving our point.
Hey, Chrissy, sad that LAZY, uneducated, stupid male losers like YOU who feel the world owes them a living aren’t doing very well in this economy? LOL
I find it HILARIOUS………….
Hey, Chrissy, shitboy, loser, closet homo, ugly piece of shit………..find a gun now……..
Go on, garbage…….waste yourself, the world wants a good laugh. :)
Hey, Chrissy, what 11 year old abused girl did your ugly, fucked up piece of child rapist shit have to rape to produce YOU, you ugly subhuman?
Die soon, loser…..you are garbage with NO life. You don’t rate, boy, you are utter SHIT. :)
You are just jealous.
Hey, Chrissy, is your mouth dirtier than your filthy, cheese-ridden little cock?
LOL No wonder your own mother wishes she killed you at birth. Run along, shitboy, you are ugly, stupid, and worthless. :)
Cheese ridden?
Honey if a man pulls his cock out of you and there is “cheese” on it…. is that really HIS problem?
LMAO. If this one speaks like this in real life, she’s going to become a statistic for sure.
Obviously you don’t personally know any English majors or anyone with any kind of education. You can’t come up with a decent rebuttle so your trying to pick apart grammatical and form errors in an informal writing environment. Loser.
I would indeed try to come up with a decent ‘rebuttle’ [sic] if I actually knew what a ‘rebuttle’ was. LOL, English Literature degree!
N, you are suffering from delusions of competency! It’s good that you can change a light bulb or tie your own shoe laces all by yourself, but what does that really prove? That you’re as smart as a circus chimp? (At very least you would give it a good run for its money)
N, permit me to ask a rather personal question, are you currently taking any form of medication or suffered any serious head trauma recently?
So uh I’m not a feminist but the shit you wrote is too stupid to ignore, I build the cabinets and shit, not only do I hook up the fucking vcr, I have to program it for the fucking retard MALE I’m dating, I change the lightbulbs, I change the oil and my tires. My IQ is 136 and I’m Megan Fox hot. The only fucking flaw I seem to have is not being able to overlook the opinions of fucking morons like yourself, your so fucking dumb you shouldn’t be allowed to fucking speak. People like you are useless and perpetuate moronic fucking ideas, shut the fuck up, you contribute ABSOULTELY NOTHING TO SOCIETY YOU STUPID FUCK.
P.S. Women are technologically impaired? IT’S 2008 WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL USING A VCR? FUCKING STUPID!
- N
So you’re saying being illiterate is not a flaw?
Oh I’m sorry! I thought your lot would only be able to comprehend my ideas if I put it to them in a “manly manner”. It’s ironic that you should use the term “illiterate” to describe my previous message as if the article itself does not use the exact same type of discourse. I happen to have a degree in English literature so please go ‘fuck’ yourself as I am not without culture, intellect, or education.
-N
LMFAO!!! YOU have a degree in English literature!!!!
If you are going to lie, at least make it believable.
When I read your post I laughed so much my sides actually hurt.
How do I know you do not have a degree in English lit.?
Well, generally those people with ACTUAL English degrees have a firm grasp of grammar, spelling and punctuation, you do not. Also I could not help but notice that, like many females, you have no idea what the word ‘ironic’ actually means.
Is any of this making sense to you?
Let’s be honest N, if you were any more stupid they would have to water you twice a week!
You jealous piece of shit, you don’t seem to notice how all the so-called superior males here couldn’t spell better than a 5 year old.
You stupid pricks are worse than garbage. No wonder why women don’t want you…….run along, shoot yourself or your Dad or something. Be useful.
I can spell in 3 languages, cunt.
Better make that 5.
Including classical music and computer programming.
Men are better than women.
Exactly – you have a degree in English Literature, which obviously HASN’T qualified you to understand patterns of distribution, specifically as they relate to your insinuation that because YOU build cabinets and can hook up a VCR, that whimmin in general are NEARLY as adept at such tasks as the average male (in point of fact, they’re NOT; and Dick’s use of satire in pointing this out in no measure compares to the poor logic of hasty generalization you interject with your indignation insinuating that whimmin, ON AVERAGE, are as capable or inclined to such a task – for again, they are not).
Therefore, what you term “opinions of fucking morons like yourself,” can much more easily be attached to whimmin like yourself, who use EMOTIONAL REASONING in their rebuttals which simultaneously PROVE they lack a fundamental understanding of AVERAGES (How entertaining or ACCURATE would Dick’s article title be if it was “Why can’t whimmin – save for N and a few others I haven’t discovered yet – hook up a VCR?”).
The point is, while a generaliztion, it’s GENERALLY true (men are better at such tasks, and more interested in them; while whimmin aren’t as interested, and get flustered often enough to turn the task over to a man).
Additionally, your claims of being an English Lit graduate seem to me, specious, as you don’t seem to recognize SATIRE (entertaining exaggeration, with a core and extent of truth) when it’s right in front of you.
“I’mNotAFeminist-ButYouShouldn’tBeAllowedToSpeak”
Nothing wrong with being a feminist, toots, feminists gave you the rights you take for granted.
Be grateful, hon.
why couldn t Helen Keller drive a car?? Because she was a woman:P
Well, Helen Keller was blind, deaf and mute yet she was still way more decent, educated, and intelligent than YOU could EVER be.
You are just a sorry, envious, stupid little fuck……like every male in your sickening family. :)
smoke detectors have batteries because if the power’s out, you’d still like to know if there’s a fire on the other side of your house, yeah?
silly man. :)
Jenna:: And to all the other fems that pipe in. Dick is generalising about females. You know, like women have been about men for decades with your put downs. Of course there will be the odd few of you who don’t fit the bill, or say you don’t. Common sense and logic would tell you that. Well done on hooking up the vcr by the way, now go try a google search.
I’m a woman. I can hook up a VCR. So, you’re wrong.
This woman sets hooking up a VCR as an accomplishment. Is it a wonder the unrestrained woman causes nothing but trouble?
hmmm, some people just can’t get it… and by people I mean stupid people.
She didn’t say it was an accomplishment, or even set it up as one. She just said your statement was false by giving an example. If someone said to me, “Physics majors can’t walk backwards 10 steps without falling,” I would tell them that’s not true and that I can. It wouldn’t mean I was boasting about walking backwards, it would just mean that I was giving an example of why they are wrong.
No you can’t. Now you’re not only incompetent, but a liar. And not even an effective liar. So you’re also an incompetent liar.
Jesus Fucking Christ.
It’s amusing how you guys respond, it seems inevitable for you to just not answer a woman’s comment, even more, the way you answer, as if a dog had bitten you in the ass. Ironic, given that you all find annoying that we women bitch about everything… look who’s bitching now.
OK try and wrap your head around this for ONCE in your life – JUST ONCE.
OK, here it is…
MEN ARE NOT REQUIRED TO RESPOND IN THE WAY YOU EXPECT, TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, OR BE INTERESTED IN EITHER.
Dod you get that? Repeat it to yourself over and over again until it sinks in to your dense, fat skull.
MEN ARE NOT REQUIRED TO RESPOND IN THE WAY YOU EXPECT, TELL YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR, OR BE INTERESTED IN EITHER.
Tell your “friends”. Tell every cunt you know. And stop behaving like Men are supposed to give a flying fuck about you – especially when you are not welcome or invited to be here.
You DO bitch about everything.
Just listen to yourself.
You bitch more than Jesus did(!) when he was crucified.
Menarebetterthanwomen.
Hey Chris!How’s everything going??I don’t even waste my time commenting on these dumb bitches now.I just leave small comments and let them figure out what I meant for themselves.
Happy bitchwrangling!
RB.
@RB – I’m excellent thanks.
Well you know RB, it’s not enough to just tap a bitch on the shoulder anymore…. you have to hit her over the head with a sledgehammer.
I prefer to use my dick,
Because she’ll take it as a compliment,
or she won’t get to take it at all.
That’s just the kind of guy I am,
and at least it gets a girl laid.
What she’s doing – won’t.
She should just say “thank you”, and be on her way.
The problem is SHE CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH. DEEP DOWN IN PLACES THEY DON’T TALK ABOUT AT STARBUCKS THEY KNOW THEY WANT THAT COCK IN THEIR MOUTH; THEY NEED THAT COCK IN THEIR MOUTH!!! THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO GET A MAN OFF AND WE HAVE NEITHER THE TIME, NOR THE INCLINATION, TO SIT HERE AND EXPLAIN OURSELVES!!!
woa… you are officially one step to suck each other’s dicks. Bravo.
PD: See? it’s inevitable.
He’s quoting Jack Nicholson you stupid bitch.
“He’s quoting Jack Nicholson you stupid bitch.”
Haha.
“You snotty little bastard. I want you to stand there, in that faggoty white uniform, and with your Harvard mouth extend me some fucking courtesy.”
Nicholson kicks ass.
“Do you think God knew what he was doing when he created ‘whoomin’??? Or do you think it was another one of his MINOR MISTAKES…. like tidal waves, earthquakes, FLOODS!”
- Jack Nicholson
The Witches of Eastwick 1988
Bob, watch your mouth speaking to a woman. So you watched a movie, who CARES?
Grow a brain, you ugly piece of shit.
Why are you pretend there is any consiquence for a man to say ANYTHING HE WANTS to a woman’s face?
FACT: THERE IS ZERO CONSIQUENCE IN SAYING ANYTHING YOU WANT TO A WOMAN’S FACE.
So why would a man have to “watch it”?
did you check and see if you had a penis?
cause if you dont….. i think your lying.
-KG
Obviously someone who has never heard of generalisations and exceptions to the rule
You know why women can’t hook up a VCR? Because they’re stupid. You even said it yourself. So why bitch about it if you already know the truth?
Sweety I’m a women. im better with electronics then you’ll ever be. :)
I fix computers at schools, companys, and other places.
If thats too hard for you “big man brain muscles” to comprehend, sit back in think about it for a while.
My mother is a lawyer and my father a pet co worker.
My stepfather is a fat lazy guy who sits on his ass and drinks the beer that my mother supplies for him, while watching the cable my mother pays for.
Wow. Dont think to hard sweety, i dont want your “man brain” to overheat. <3
“My stepfather is a fat lazy guy who sits on his ass and drinks the beer that my mother supplies for him, while watching the cable my mother pays for.”
your step dad gets a shitload of man points for finding a woman such as this. what a manly man he must be
You fix computers at schools and company’s?! no fucking way!!
Now I’ve never met you but judging by every tech guy I’ve seen anybody with rudimentary knowledge of computers can do this…I know i could get past any security system my school had through my teen years.
Also thanks for your consideration in not wanting me to think to hard I won’t have to. :)
This is normal reasoning for a female brain. It simply cannot comprehend that there is the exception from a rule. Instead it elevates these rare cases into a common occurrence and thus thinks the argument is won. *sigh
Men > women.
Damn fuckin right.
why should he have to pay for beer?