Why Does My Mother Wear Army Boots?
I received this email today from a woman reader by the name of Kelly who, like most women, is allergic to grammar and capital letters. Instead of printing her thoughts out and wiping my ass with them as I enjoy doing with all female inquiries and any other emails that should have been written with an e-crayon, I decided to answer it on this month’s Ask Dick.
i don’t know what has happened to you, maybe you are just some single man, (which, by reading some of your articles, i would bet good money on)…
If I weren’t too manly to know that obnoxious little configuration of commas and colons that looks like its rolling its eyes, I would type it here — but I am so I cannot.
Women can’t start, stop, or be in the middle of asking anything without being condescending and insulting. That’s why all female bosses and managers are referred to as bitches — because they are bitches. QED.
I’ll summarize Miss Princess Complex’s email instead of pasting it verbatim because you’re all men and I don’t want to waste your valuable time.
…why would we [women] go into the military? i personally, am going into the air force. Why would i do such a thing if i would follow hitler?
Quick answer: for all the wrong fucking reasons.
Women never do anything for the right reasons. It’s just like how they drive places or eventually figure out how to turn on your stereo when you expressly told them not to fucking touch it since they were too impatient to learn how to turn it on properly and toplessly. Sure, they might get to the end of the maze, they might get your five thousand dollar B&W’s to pump some Dixie Chicks, but at no point were they on the right path.
Why would we go into the military?
Women who enter the military are trying to prove something. It doesn’t matter who they’re trying to prove it to: their fathers, their husbands, God; it’s all the same person: a man. And that’s the end of my explanation. That’s also the end of my explanation for why women shouldn’t be allowed in the military to begin with.
Women are frantic and retarded in the face of stress. Haven’t we all seen the face of a woman trapped in a yellow light or waiting helplessly in the checkout line for her boyfriend to fetch a bottle of soda? Is that the face we want in the cockpit of a fighter pilot with her petrified thumb on a half ton of cluster bomb? Sounds like a half ton of clusterfuck to me.
Of course not. But we men have sewn ourselves into a dickle of a pickle. Instead of shuffling women to the side of life as our great mancestors did before us, we invented technology to cover up for the female creedo of blundery. Things like automatically shifting cars and cameras for those pesky parked cement blockades that come at reversing cars recklessly at up to seven miles an hour — we invented those things to help women cope with life. However, not even technology can make the army female friendly.
Women shouldn’t be in the military because they’re only there to show that they can run, jump, and shoot as good as a man — and not any and all men, just a few of them. Just the one that shoots his mouth off the most. Good for you, sweetheart. All you proved is that the glass ceiling is very real, it’s painted with rainbows of fantasy and delusion, and it’s buried about a mile below ground. See, being in the military is about a hell of a lot more than proving something to yourself. It’s about honor and service and going above and beyond every fucking thing you think you ever were.
Have any of you seen those planes that can take off vertically? How about a stealth bombers? Those are military planes. Regular planes look at those and say to themselves, ‘fuck that’s above and beyond every fucking thing I thought I ever was.’ And that is exactly what I’m talking about.
If your goal is to be as good as a few men, well then you already fucking failed because the Army tee box for men is about a mile back up the road. And what the fuck does Hitler have to do with anything?
Related Articles:
Pages: [3] 2 1 » Show All
If all the pop tarts that want to demonize, marginalize, and minimize the sacrifices MEN have made for this country fighting in combat, let me say this to these loud mouthed wenches; if you believe that you are ‘man enough’ to go into combat and carry the load, get all your sisters together like you always do, march on Washington, D.C., and demand, like you always do, the right to go into combat, enmasse. That won’t happen in a million years because you’re all pussies and could NOT carry the load that men carry to protect your ungrateful, sorry asses.
Women should not be allowed in the military. I’ve been in the Army for 4 years, and every single woman I’ve met in the army except 2 has been a filthy lying lazy slut. They don’t do a God damn thing except sit there and fucking whine, all the while not helping us work, then once duty hours are over theyre fucking every penis that comes their way. Army wives are almost as bad, they sit around, get fat, dont do anything but sit around at home, dont get a job, then a week or two after their husband leaves for Iraq of Afghanistan they’re trolling the base for some non-deployed dick. Men are vastly superior to women, and women should never be in the military, unless they make “being a whore” their job specialty.
Funny you say that them making being a whore a job specialty, unofficially in the civil war large groups of fem-tards would follow around Union Army units commanded by Gen. Joseph Hooker. They would “please’ the men before battles and cook their meals and double as “nurses”. Hence the the origin of the term hooker being applied to women. God, you gotta love military history!
YOU SAID IT BROTHER! PREACH THE TRUTH! WELL SAID!!!
dick you are the fucking man
words can not describe your awesome manliness
fuck you women who want to join the army
suck my dick
if they shut the fuck up and listened to men their lives would be easier and they’d have less shit to complain about thus forth making our lives better
bitches be hating but they all know they’re about as worthless as insects
Uh, without getting into a rant, there IS a reason why the Army doesn’t allow women in the Infantry, Rangers, Special Forces (all the cool MOS). Enuf said.
I think he wants you to take his virginity.
Um, ok, but isn’t it equally demeaning when they have child soldiers fighting as well…?
Brilliant! (And, precisely bullet’d, thanks!). How did the useful and nobel female patriot, the WAC of WWII (grandmother of today’s whackjob) loose her damn way? And they’re all dying off. Nobody ever mentions the duty women are on before they even sign up-O.T.R. Or, what ya doining w/ party favors-you’re not on leave. Or-are you going to acknowledge that you literally have water on your brain once a month, or just keep begging off for some sympathy game? Makes no sense at all.
No doubt America in the Frontier days oft times had the wife on the other end of the saw if a cabin was going to get built. People begged the Lord for sons. Was this optimal? Hell no, but necessary. I think that’s how it should be w/ women; auxillary only. Sure, train them-but they need to have the intelligence to understand why they don’t present next to a man, or their simply not fit for what they could do in a support position or breeding, for that matter.
Somebody will get an ‘A’ in Obvious Class before the sun goes down today.
Sounds pretty hip to me. If women are smart enough to be Doctors and Lawyers and stand for President, they are smart enough to serve the country that gives them those privileges. Maybe not in the front line where they might endanger good men’s lives, but they should certainly be drafted to serve their country. Nothing wrong with them being killed, either – good thing, in fact. The more, the merrier.
But the vast majority are homophobic Nazi cunts.
That’s silly. Women are Amoral. Most every women will lickity split.
you’re not a gentleman
You’re not a Lady.
massagers?
Crap…more idiocy.
To all of the women who respond to Dick’s Post-
Dick makes this because of your annoyances.
You reply because of your insecurities. That’s right. You’re trying to prove something; Something wrong.
Please, for the sake of humanity’s advancement…Keep your cock massagers closed.
Sgt. Reyes, I’m with you that Jessica Lynch got waaay over-covered, and she was only covered at all because she was a woman. In her defense, though, she has denied that she is a hero, and has avoided the limelight.
Men do make better soldiers than women. As well as better firefighters, police, and professional athletes. Sorry ladies, it’s true.
Funny how we saw Jessica Lynch all over the news and she received the “Bronze Star” for all sorts of shit. I’ve served with buddies who have been shot multiple times, evaded capture and turned the tide of many a firefight, fought against trained guerillas. Where is their Bronze Star? Where is the news coverage of them?
Men succeed and receive no acknowledgment from the media.
A Woman fails and gets captured, we bail her ass out and she becomes “America’s Hero”!
Bull-fucking-Shit! That’s all I have to say about that.
Yes i’d really hate to be in a combat unit that actually had to face the enemy, with female soldiers to the left and right of me! Sure there’s the occasional female rambo that has the guts of a man but they are 1 in a thousand if that many. Even if the soldierette has got the guts, and thats a huge IF – she doesnt have the strength a male has, and i wouldnt want some 110 pound female trying to haul my bloody wounded ass 3 klicks to a dust-off chopper, because any fool would know she is just not physically capable of doing this.
The only reason the military wants females is to free up more swinging dicks to be the trigger-pullers – and hopefully not to replace them on the front lines – which would be the stupidest idea ever implemented.
Yeah. GI Jane was about the closest to SF or SOG that a female will ever get to. A movie. That’s all it was and all it will ever be. Everyone has a “deer in the headlights” moment when their cherry gets popped in 1st time combat, but I don’t (and have actually seen this happen) want a woman next to me to get that moment, then not pull out of it, then start crying about how she can’t take a human life?! Of course, shortly thereafter said female is either dead or dashing for cover. No thanks. You’re not covering my ass!
MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN
-SGT REYES
Here’s a joke about women in the military.
A colonel in command of an all-woman regiment had problems with trying to get his unit to attack the enemy on the front lines. The women weren’t physically fast enough or capable of following such orders in going to battle. Many of them were too scared to fight at all.
Until the colonel came up with a brilliant plan. He makes an announcement to his women soldiers and they swarmed over the enemy lines like a pissed-off nest of bees, leaving few survivors.
“What did you tell them, sir?” asked an astonished major.
“I told them that the enemy got a good look at their lines and said that they all look fat in their uniforms.” the colonel replied with a smirk.
Simple as that. Women don’t belong in the military unless they’re only nurses to tend to our wounded, something they did without complaint since the War of Revolution. Women want equality? It’s simply bullshit because none of them were ever drafted to die for their country. And if women WERE drafted, they could simply protest about it and get off scot-free while men who do the same thing are beaten and arrested as draft-evaders.
Show me a group of women who are willing to go to the front line and die in combat, and I’ll show you some beach property in Arizona that I can sell you.
Yes i’d really hate to be in a combat unit that actually had to face the enemy, with female soldiers to the left and right of me! Sure there’s the occasional female rambo that has the guts of a man but they are 1 in a thousand if that many. Even if the soldierette has got the guts, and thats a huge IF – she doesnt have the strength a male has, and i wouldnt want some 110 pound female trying to haul my bloody wounded ass 3 klicks to a dust-off chopper, because any fool would know she is just not physically capable of doing this.
The only reason the military wants females is to free up more swinging dicks to be the trigger-pullers – and hopefully not to replace them on the front lines – which would be the stupidest idea ever implemented.
[...] Why Does My Mother Wear Army Boots?I received this email today from a woman reader by the name of Kelly who, like most women, is allergic … [...]
I’m an optimist here and I will say maybe she joined the army because she needed money to go to college? get yourself an education and not be a retart?.. maybe she wants to be a better person by having the experience of joining the army or air force or whatever the fuck she was joining?.. Serve your great country for honor?
of course these are my optimisms and I am sure I am wrong when I say she joined because of them.
yes…Imagine as a soldier you come into base and said ” I killed three women today !”.
According to the feminasties, he should be proud to have done it as they believe that women should die more often.
Personally, I think this is a good thing as it will finally bring home the lies, the total mis-information those nasty feminazies have been feeding women.
Want to die for the cause ?
Just sign up, “be a man” and die in a foreign country and do what the feminazy expect you to do.
The hive mind is any interesting thing to behold.
I think it’s demeaning to the enemy to have them killed by women. It is disrespectful towards the enemy and dishonourable for both the enemy (to be killed by women) and the home army to have women even serving (remember Iraq’s pow camp?) let alone fighting. It diminishes the already dwindling honour and dignity of modern warfare as well as modern woman.
What happened to equality? If these women soldiers want equality, they need to do equal work. The only women who MIGHT belong in the military are the ones who can do the exact same things as the men who are already there.