Women are the Spleen of Civilization

Here’s an interesting scientific thought experiment for you.

Everyone knows that women belong at home and not in the workplace. Just like everyone knows that men are responsible for being the providers in the family unit. That’s why lesbianism doesn’t work and doesn’t exist. It’s like having a car with no steering wheel and a 2 hp engine.

That’s called bumper cars. They sound fun, but really they’re just a waste of your fucking time.

Technology. When it comes to science, it doesn’t get more “science” than technology. That’s a man fact that you can take to your man grave.

Technology’s job is to improve life. That’s why men invented it in the first place. Everyone was having a hard time dragging their shit across the dirt and dying of syphilis at 23, so men invented technology to help with that. Women invented denial for similar purposes, but that hasn’t progressed in ten thousand years — just like women.

Here’s the thought experiment. Over the years, technology has improved life at home equally to how it has improved life in the workplace. You’d think that would lead to lazier employees, but it hasn’t. The truth is today’s modern man-employee has to be just as attentive, productive, and proactive when it comes to learning these new technologies as he ever has; even when not in a technology field, such a crab fishing or being a detective. Technology has not begotten laziness in the workplace, no sir.

But what about in the home?

Businesses are designed to maximize productivity and money. The home is not. The home is more like a crossword puzzle. You sit down, solve a few riddles never straying outside the box, and then you’re free to eat another “healthy breakfast” bar. Have you seen how much fucking sugar is in those things?

Of course not because you’re a man and that’s not a man’s breakfast.

What’s left for women to do at home after the automatic, no-scrub dishwashing machine has cleaned up from last night’s supper? You can’t extra wash dishes. That doesn’t make any sense, so that job’s done. And what’s to do while the rechargeable floor sweeping robot — which actually exists — is cleaning up after the children? Flirt with the UPS guy? Yea, that sounds about right. And speaking of children, is there any real mothering to be done anymore? What with televisions and Speak n’ Spells and Happy Meal Educational inserts.

No.

Technology has taken women — who used to be probably the colon of civilization, and transmogrified them into the spleen. That little mass of flesh (well on its way to being replaced by the liver) that hasn’t had a real purpose in thousands of years.

That’s why women hate and suck at technology.

Related Articles: