Cooking Up Trouble
To be a great chef it takes dedication, knowledge of various spices, and some amount of sensitivity. That’s why men make better chefs than women, because women have none of those three. Knowing that cinnamon tastes good on their Frapacinos, or whatever candy-ass coffee nightmare that cost a man somewhere 3.95, is not a knowledge of spices.
The kind of chefs women make are the Martha Stewart types; putting glitter on pinecones and that kind of childish bullshit. In other words, making something shitty even shittier by fucking around with it with no purpose.
When a man is a chef, he makes plans and then he executes them — man style. That means directly and as fastidiously as a fucking comet. That’s a recipe for a phenomenal meal. When a woman is a chef, however, she behaves exactly as all women behave in their daily lives: traipsing around like drunken marionettes with their heads in Mexico and without a thought in the world for consequences.
Often times you will hear of a woman’s life being ridiculously fucked up and you’ll wonder, how could it have gotten so bad? Was this woman just traipsing around like a drunken marionette with her head in Mexico?
Yup, you got it.
Note also that the title chef cannot be bastardized into the feminine form. For example: policewoman or lady doctor. This can also be said for the title of judge, which I find interesting. Knowing women as I do, though, I’m sure they’ll find a way to ruin a good thing. Perhaps cheftress?
Women are terrible chefs because they ricochet off their own actions like pinball, never knowing what in the fuck is going on at all. They have zero philosophy.
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May 17th, 2005 at 3:23 pm - IP Man-Hash: 272b77d9ce10f
Obviously, neither of you have been a widowed mother of three who not only held down a full-time job, but also cooked, cleaned, shopped, etc.
P.S. By the way, my cooking is fabulous:)
P.P.S. What century are you guys living in? I don’t know any couples where both husband AND wife don’t BOTH have to work these days. And in those households, a woman is lucky if her husband shares any of the household chores.
May 17th, 2005 at 5:05 pm - IP Man-Hash: 198450b4642a5
Oh Gee, people just tell you your cooking is fabulous to be polite. And as far as women working, there are two reasons why women are hired.
1. Eye candy
2. They are required to hire them, so they wont be labeled as sexist. Even though any man could do the job better, unless its something useless like working in a fabric store or something. Women are good at those useless jobs.
As far as household chores men fix shit. We also open the lid when you can’t get it open, so you can go cook. Even though your cooking sucks.
May 26th, 2005 at 10:29 am - IP Man-Hash: 38ae76999b940
Jeff, Dick. Did your mother ever cook you dinner. If she didnt I feel bad for you. My mother cooked me dinner every night when i was younger and her cooking was great, she also worked all day, took care of me and my sibilings and cleaned the house, while still having hobbies and a life. My father on the other hand although he worked very hard he cannot cook to save his life. There is not a single one of my friends whoes father is the better cook. I have gotten an A in my food technology cource which NO boy in my class achieved and my teacher is a very comotent women. As for women not being as good as men in the work place how do you explain women you become doctors, layers, buisness women and many other careers who get promoted all above men?
May 26th, 2005 at 11:02 am - IP Man-Hash: 38ae76999b940
If you think the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach you’re aiming way too high
June 11th, 2005 at 12:26 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7c80bffc377e6
Men are better chefs huh? I thought mindless housewives did the cooking?
You want to go out and serve a women whom you slaved away cooking for?
Where in hell did you get that notion, I can’t even bother to comprehend it. I thought women were stereotyped for cooking while the man was hunting, he killed the meat and the woman made it taste good.
You buy coffee for three fucking dollars, are you bloody insane?
I bought a coffee today for 89 cents and it was pretty damn good.
You’re just lazy now, have to make things up so people don’t come to your website(Which by the way looks really shitty) and get totally bored with a lack of content, and Jeff, good idea, use examples that aren’t even real people, score one for the team! What women are you meeting Dickshit that give you these ideas, are they in padded cells or selling their bodies on the street by any chance, or are you all just American. Find something better to bitch about like Goths and whiny teenyboppers, not imaginary women.
April 13th, 2006 at 9:04 am - IP Man-Hash: 356b2e2244d02
Men are the better chefs, which is why entire teams of men can be found in the kitchens of the best restaurants all around the world.
Women lack in efficiency and chatter too much, they rarely last more than 5 minutes in a professional kitchen.
It really is no contest.
September 16th, 2006 at 11:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
then the only question that remains is…dick, dear, what’s for dinner…
September 16th, 2006 at 11:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
what’s for dinner, you dingbat, is what i meant[al] to say…
September 16th, 2006 at 12:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Why, a kebab of course, you batty bird.
September 20th, 2006 at 11:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 88c1e58dc3ca7
sonyad, i idiotically overlooked the obvious - and i sincerely thank you for your clairification - it was a stupid question and it won’t happen again.
mark my words, it will not happen again.
i may be an idiot, but am also a quick study and can follow the leader once prodded; i have been adequately prodded—-ouch, deservedly.
September 20th, 2006 at 5:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: a5f1091917224
What? The NO WOMEN ALLOWED sign?
September 21st, 2006 at 6:00 am - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I have no bloody clue what she meant^.
June 3rd, 2007 at 10:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 6a7de0d3ef70b
Most women tend to fail at everything solely because they’re lazy as shit and don’t understand the concept of working to better themselves. Atleast you’re doing something, unlike the general female population.
July 8th, 2007 at 7:06 am - IP Man-Hash: 766da8096c559
Yes, Dick, write an entire article about Al Bundy. He is the hero of every man and the manliest man ever. We are all interestd in this.
P Coderch
July 25th, 2007 at 10:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 368b565c60eda
Are you sitting down for this??
MY EX THOUGHT “SEPARATE THE EGGS” MEANT PUSHING THEM APART ON THE COUNTER.
That’s only ONE reason why she’s an EX.
LMFAO!!!
July 26th, 2007 at 4:46 am - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
Does she happen to be a blonde?
July 26th, 2007 at 10:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 5fd634f6ed1ed
Right now I’m making roast potatoes and kebabas. Delicious.
September 25th, 2007 at 7:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
Are you seeking sympathy, or saying Men should all marry widowed mothers of three?
Amusingly, EVERY woman on the planet will always say SHE’S “not like that” when told about evil harpy behaviour.
MABTW helps spread the wide word to watch what women DO, not what they SAY. That’s the true indicator. Most women fail the test.
April 13th, 2008 at 4:30 am - IP Man-Hash: 815f3775cf668
I agree. I’ve been with alot of women over the years, and I’ve only been with TWO who could cook good enough as for me to allow her into my kitchen. And in both cases I still was a better cook. And the pinball reference you made was so spots-on, dick… I swear. AND it made me laugh so hard I almost sharted.
Nothing is manlier than sharting. NOTHING.
~Manos.
May 7th, 2008 at 12:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 7bc1dcbf72119
Have you ever seen Gordan Ramsays Kitchen Nightmares?…
well if you have like me you will find that even though gordan’s a man, so are most of the other losers who can’t cook for shit….
Most mothers in the household cook, including my mother. She is extremely good. She can whiz up anything anybody suggests and still make it taste delicious.
My dad, on the other hand, can’t even cook toast without setting off the fire-alarm…and sadly, i’m serious.
My next-door neighbour owns a cafe called: Cozy Cafe, it’s running good business. She’s cooked food as simple as crepes turning them into a scrumptious looking master-piece, decorated with strawberries, blueberries and rolled over, sprinkled lightly with sugar over the top.
She has cooked food as difficult and time-consuming as Spinach and Fetta Pie with Filo-pastry and it is my favourite food - no other dish beats it. She has come over to our place on many occasions - ’she’ is of course a woman.
Dick, some of your posts on this web-site may have started off still in my opinion bullshit, but possibly reliable and it some cases, quite believable. But, the desperate shit your scraping from the bottom of the barrel now, like how women can’t cook - when they have been doing it for centuries - well that, is just laughable, there’s no other way to put it.
- Captain COOK