One Cheeseburger, Please. Hold The Jibber Jabber.
If you’re pressed for time on your lunch break and you walk into your favorite restaurant only to see a teamful of broads manning the registers, just turn around and walk the fuck out because you are definitely going to be late for work. Unless you want to be late for work for whatever man reasons you might have. In that case, signal that you’d like all employees in earshot to being a round of bullshit chatting by walking up to the register and ordering.
“Hi. I’d like a cheeseburger and five minutes of giggling. Oh great. Thanks. You already started.”
From Dell to Jack in the Box, women serve customers about as well as they serve pithy, insulting remarks — very poorly. Here’s why.
Everyone knows that men have natural instincts to conquer land and animals. Over ten thousand years, that instinct has evolved to produce thriving economies and the ass kicking’s of diseases and hunger all over the world. Without men grabbing bulls by the horns, the human race wouldn’t even have words for “shelter”, or “no dysentery” or “abortion clinic”. And that would be a waste of everyone’s time.
Women, however, have what is commonly called a “nesting” instinct.
That’s horseshit though. “Nesting” is just another nice name we’ve given to something terrible that women do all the time. Like “empowered”. That’s a nice name we have to use to describe women who behave like whores. “Career driven”. You guessed it: un-fucking-dateable.
What is called a woman’s nesting instinct should be called an infecting instinct. It’s a woman’s natural desire to get into any situation and sour the whole shit with touches of the only things she knows: endless jibber-jabber and kitschy, homey, chumpy little knick knacks and inappropriateness’s. And even with their pictures and plants and hour long birthday breaks, the bottom line is that women are never comfortable at work. That’s why there are so many sexual harassment lawsuits — because women who have jobs are wound up tighter than an epileptic in Vegas.
Women are also extremely insensitive. See for yourself if you want to lose your job. Just tell a hilarious joke to a woman. If women hear anything even slightly off-colour the reason they automatically assume the worst is because that’s how they would have meant it, and that’s insensitive.
The equation here is that women bring their love of sitting at home and gabbing or doing jack shit into the workplace; instead of going with the flow or fitting in the way that men do. When multiplied by a staggering insensitivity to the customer, that equals shitty customer service. And that’s poor business.
That’s why I always say:
A penny saved is a woman fired.
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September 1st, 2007 at 7:57 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9851720c1d69c
Dick,
Why would you make this website anyway?? Do you honestly think that you are going to do anything but piss a bunch of women (and men) off? Also, WHY DO YOU HATE WOMEN SO MUCH??? I am looking foreward to how you are going to ansewer my two questions:)
September 2nd, 2007 at 7:43 am - IP Man-Hash: 5556903c41ed8
Any way you cut it, their horseshit still doesn’t make sense. Watching them clumsily try to divert attention from this with ad-hominems, is amusing.
September 2nd, 2007 at 8:54 am - IP Man-Hash: e36376410e1aa
“joey”, why did you enter an email address of katie.pember@yahoo.com?
-Dick
September 2nd, 2007 at 10:03 am - IP Man-Hash: e15ec06c93df1
… because of the laws of women. I have to point out that we all knew joey was a she when we saw her spell “foreward.”
September 3rd, 2007 at 11:53 am - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
@diamatik good one. For me it was the five question marks when two would do. But we’re all slightly smarter than the average bear. Or joey. Or woman.
-wolfe
September 3rd, 2007 at 11:54 am - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Hmmm that is me… let’s see if this set of credentials prove it.
September 3rd, 2007 at 1:55 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
Apparently not.
September 3rd, 2007 at 2:18 pm - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
Indeed. Turns out I have to sign in in upper case. Thanks, wordpress, for violating 30 years of convention in case.
-wolfe
September 3rd, 2007 at 3:54 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
I thought you enjoyed little pleasure like that. Don’t you code in see?
- Booka Shade - Vertigo
September 4th, 2007 at 3:06 am - IP Man-Hash: a13ba81333017
@Sony I did. Not so much these days. And C lets you choose case. Ditto BSD. WP does precisely the reverse; it forces the first letter to be uppercase. Personally I’m in favor of user choice.
-wolfe
September 5th, 2007 at 4:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 136ce8ec894be
I have to admit, women do chat a lot when they could be doing more productive things. I’m like my dad, without the asshole, I like things to be done quickly and effeciently.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:14 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4555637db20cf
WTF?
September 5th, 2007 at 5:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: 9b7a2b3eaa486
She must defecate through her vagina.
September 5th, 2007 at 5:32 pm - IP Man-Hash: 980cc8a8ac1a7
What does that make anyone who’s ever laid her?
- booka shade - double identity
October 18th, 2007 at 11:39 am - IP Man-Hash: 0f679f9371b1a
Dick Masterson said:
“joey”, why did you enter an email address of katie.pember@yahoo.com?
Hahahahahahahaha Dick you deserve an award. This not the first time you have caught females pretending to be men on this website!
October 18th, 2007 at 11:57 am - IP Man-Hash: c4d026b819ad4
Only a woman would be stupid enough to give her actual email address to someone she hates.
-Dick
October 18th, 2007 at 8:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 844bc4f871fb2
Joey(katie) you got to realize all men who read anything can almost instantly pick the sex of the person who wrote it.
March 3rd, 2008 at 11:17 am - IP Man-Hash: 31debd98bdcb9
While it’s kind of unnecessary for me to point out what’s wrong with this, I’ll do so anyway.
1. As a young woman with a job at a grocery store, I’m going to tell you that I don’t give a fuck about talking to any customers. Don’t flatter yourself, asshole; I have no desire to talk to you. All I want to do is get you the hell out of there as fast as possible.
2. Most people with a minimum wage job at a place such as a fast food place or grocery store are not “career-oriented.” The majority of us are getting an education to get a REAL career so we can stop being slaves to complete assholes.
April 12th, 2008 at 9:20 am - IP Man-Hash: 09b607c8c4b90
You seem to have missed the point. Those were examples of euphemisms. They did not apply to the burger-broad in question. Perhaps your education should have included reading skills?
April 16th, 2008 at 3:01 am - IP Man-Hash: 468e63350fb82
Dick,
I’m going to keep this short and simple. I agree with your comments on this topic 100%. Now, to all you fucking ladies out there….fuck off.
-charleythebrown