Public Sperking…I Mean Speaking
I can count the number of great women public speakers throughout history on one hand. Zero.
Women make lousy public speakers. They can’t engage an audience and they certainly can’t keep the attention of an audience for longer than a few minutes without relying on some kind of charlatan, amateur sexual provocation. That much is no secret.
What is worth discussing is just how much better than women men are when it comes to being eloquent with the mouth — lots better.
To begin any public address, a man will start with a joke to warm up the audience. This device has worked brilliantly for millennia of oration; from Homer to Hitler. Right off the top, this is completely out for women. Women can’t be funny, so instead of a joke, you get a completely flummoxed pseudo-expert in a skirt babbling on about statistics or milestones or other nonsense straight out of the gate. That’s exactly what a crowd of people wants to do before they’ve finished their first cup of coffee: math.
Another reason why men are so good and so much better than women at speaking is that they know what they’re talking about. Men know quite a bit about a lot of things. We’re renaissance men after all — all of us in our own way are renaissance men. But before climbing onto a stage to discourse on a topic, men perform additional and extensive research on it. We just don’t like to embarrass ourselves by getting caught with our pants around our ankles and our lack of facts hanging out for everyone to see. That’s not a man’s style.
Women on the other hand, most likely got into their position as “expert” through some hiring quota or affirmative action mandate. Who knows what it was, we all know what it wasn’t: being an expert. And while these mandates and diversity quotas are essential to the “gender equality” movement, they are pure poison to the art of public speaking.
Most importantly, however, is that men will stand up and be counted for what they’re saying. They’ll put it all on the line if what they think they’re saying is true — and for that reason it might as well be. Women have never had the courage to do this. As soon as someone starts tossing heads of lettuce and tomatoes at them for speaking their minds, they throw up facts and datums like popcorn at attacking seagulls and dive behind the podium for cover. Did Thomas Paine or Guy Fawkes ever pull that kind of shit? Certainly no, they did not.
I don’t even want to get into how clumsily women throw their sentences together. All I will say is that if the human brain spontaneously combusted if the word ‘basically’ was said more than like a hundred times during a half hour stretch, women wouldn’t even be allowed to open their mouths in public anymore. A chimp with a Speak and Spell strapped to its back could throw thoughts that stuck to the wall in a more cohesive pattern.
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July 8th, 2005 at 12:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: da58acfef5874
Um, Let me be the first to say that receiving oral sex is pretty fucking sweet, but, asking for you to give head multiple times a day is a little over the top. It’s understandable that he might want it often, and that he doesn’t want to have to ask you all the time. Therefore, maybe you should give it once in a while, when you feel comfortable. But, if it’s something you hate doing, talk to him about it, figure out why you hate it and see if things can be done to make the experience more pleasureable for both of you. Plus, someone who asks you to be late to work, or possibly make your strep throat worse so he can get off really isn’t much of a person. I hope he distributed the oral sex with you as much as he wanted it for himself, and I hope, for your sake, he was damn good. I can’t say I’m sorry you aren’t dating anymore. Selfish people rarely make good partners, especially in bed.
July 9th, 2005 at 3:24 am - IP Man-Hash: 22c56efac587a
Vanessa, quite a cunning riposte. Subtle subjugation coupled with a dig at a male’s personal grooming habits, incapacity for personal compassion and a males unwillingness to accept a woman’s ability to earn money ahead of giving head. Very droll. You should be a man.
July 9th, 2005 at 2:52 pm - IP Man-Hash: c8b404fe6e4f0
CB, I humbly accept your gracious compliments. You are too kind, and in a perfect world perhaps I would have been born a man. Alas, it was not my lot, and so I must make do as I am (this site is really helping!). Namaste to you, sir, and a good day as well.
July 12th, 2005 at 12:35 am - IP Man-Hash: b9ccf0bcef0c9
I would like to draw the attention of readers to this seminal document regarding women and communication: 75 Reasons Why Women Should Not Have Free Speech.
July 13th, 2005 at 8:18 am - IP Man-Hash: 0cfc016d624bb
Try Sojurner Truth. And Catherine of Siena. Also, if you really want to get into history, even before the Greeks, women were successful lawyers in Sumeria. And they didn’t file briefs in writing back then. Sorry, lad!
July 13th, 2005 at 12:58 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
If nothing was filed in writing, how do you know they were successful lawyers?
Did a Cosmo quiz tell you that?
-Dick
July 13th, 2005 at 1:44 pm - IP Man-Hash: 0cfc016d624bb
I didn’t say nothing was filed in writing. I said briefs weren’t filed in writing. There are written records of verdicts.
No. Your mom.
July 14th, 2005 at 11:55 am - IP Man-Hash: f1d2bf7024b36
I wish to say here, and I don’t say it with any authority and I don’t say it as a prophet, I merely tell you–I merely tell you the more people you lock up, the more will be the idealists who will take their place; the more of the human voice you suppress, the greater and louder and the profounder will be the human voice. At present it is a mere rumbling, but that rumbling is increasing in volume, it is growing in depth, it is spreading all over the country until it will be raised into a thunder and people of America will rise and say, we want to be a democracy, to be sure, but we want the kind of democracy which means liberty and opportunity to every man and woman in America (Great and continued applause).
Excerpt of Speech given by Emma Goldman, “Against Conscription and War.” It was reported that, “Miss Goldman’s remarks were so frequently interrupted by cheering and applause that reference to such interruptions will not be made in this report further.”
July 14th, 2005 at 1:27 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Michael, that is an interesting point.
I observed (while not engaging in) a similar phenomenon when I saw Star Wars: Episode III.
-Dick
July 15th, 2005 at 7:41 am - IP Man-Hash: 7c9ec4269a80e
Andy, your posts leave me beffudled. In the first post, you paint yourself as the uppity scholar with:
“One of my major’s was in Classical Humanities.”
I consulted with three interpreters (all men) and that translates to “One of my major is was in Wasting My Parents’ Money.” You then go on to further illustrate your haughtiness with:
“If you happen to know the what the Ancient Greeks found funny at the time Homer was writing, please let the Classics community know.”
…which is to say that either 1) the Ancienct Greeks found nothing funny or 2) nobody knows what the Ancient Greeks found funny. I can tell you what they found funny: dick and fart jokes. Dick and fart jokes are the cockroaches of humor. In a post-apocalyptic world, where everyone has or is dying of radioactive poisoning, the remaining people (likely men, due to our astounding heartiness) will still find comfort in the well-timed humor of dick and fart jokes.
In your second post, you start out with the good, manly statement that “receiving oral sex is pretty fucking sweet”, then you totally fuck everything up and throw in the very non-manly “but, …” Your original manliness was squandered via the following paragraph of sympathetic, Dear Abby, limp-dick bullshit. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a woman posing as a man.
Edit from Dick
While sending an email to me, “Andy� accidentally disclosed that she is really Megan Strobel.
Nice work Esther. Your instincts were correct.
July 15th, 2005 at 9:16 am - IP Man-Hash: 2f36d039d7e6f
Esther, don’t talk about shit you don’t know, asshole.
July 15th, 2005 at 9:34 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Ah, and now we see the woman that lies beneath, eh “Andy”?
-Dick
July 15th, 2005 at 3:39 pm - IP Man-Hash: fa48aa19ef342
Hang on; Andy can’t be a woman because according to you Dick women don’t swear.
Unless that is of course that your wrong. But your ego is much to big to admit that, isn’t it Dick?
July 15th, 2005 at 4:04 pm - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Nicole,
Could you turn down your sarcasm from say an 11 to a 4 or a 5. Otherwise people might think you’re frantic and desperate for attention, and that’s clearly not true.
-Dick
July 15th, 2005 at 6:08 pm - IP Man-Hash: 7c9ec4269a80e
Manstincts, I like to call them. They’re always right on. Gotta love this Y Chromosome!
July 16th, 2005 at 7:12 am - IP Man-Hash: fa48aa19ef342
Dick, once again you have proved that you have nothing against my actual argument to say by launching a personal insult, that and correcting minor details make up the majority of your comments.
Dick, just get over the fact that no one cares about perfect punctuation on a website, correction, no one with a life cares.
Oooo look I can correct too. (Sorry, were you offended by the sarcasm? O wait I don’t care)
July 16th, 2005 at 2:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: a7f089c29910a
Nicole,
You sound like you have a huge ass.
July 16th, 2005 at 3:06 pm - IP Man-Hash: cc0d45fa29251
Elliot-
I have seen pictures, and yes, the ass is enormous to match her pompously large head.
July 16th, 2005 at 5:43 pm - IP Man-Hash: b6b703e9911a5
Dick-
In researching info on sexism I ran across your website. As a trained professional I will try to respect the fact that it is not your fault that you are ignorant in your views on gender, gender roles, and sexism, it is just the way that you were brought up. Or, perhaps it was a vulnerable moment in your life in which you were scorned or threatened by the power of a woman. It does make me curious as to how it is that you have chosen to continue in your own ignorance? I also wonder how it is that you have come to believe such truths about the opposite sex and what need it fulfills within you to demean them further through this website?
July 16th, 2005 at 8:07 pm - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
Talyn,
Demeaning women? I don’t understand the confusion of ideas that would lead to that statement.
I’m no slouch on the golf course, but if Tiger Woods or Superman came up to me and said, “Dick. You’re not as good at golfing as I am.” Would that also be a demeaning comment? Hardly.
I would simply have to say, “That’s a fair assessment of my abilities.”
That’s exactly the same thing as men being better than women at everything.
-Dick