Public Sperking…I Mean Speaking
I can count the number of great women public speakers throughout history on one hand. Zero.
Women make lousy public speakers. They can’t engage an audience and they certainly can’t keep the attention of an audience for longer than a few minutes without relying on some kind of charlatan, amateur sexual provocation. That much is no secret.
What is worth discussing is just how much better than women men are when it comes to being eloquent with the mouth — lots better.
To begin any public address, a man will start with a joke to warm up the audience. This device has worked brilliantly for millennia of oration; from Homer to Hitler. Right off the top, this is completely out for women. Women can’t be funny, so instead of a joke, you get a completely flummoxed pseudo-expert in a skirt babbling on about statistics or milestones or other nonsense straight out of the gate. That’s exactly what a crowd of people wants to do before they’ve finished their first cup of coffee: math.
Another reason why men are so good and so much better than women at speaking is that they know what they’re talking about. Men know quite a bit about a lot of things. We’re renaissance men after all — all of us in our own way are renaissance men. But before climbing onto a stage to discourse on a topic, men perform additional and extensive research on it. We just don’t like to embarrass ourselves by getting caught with our pants around our ankles and our lack of facts hanging out for everyone to see. That’s not a man’s style.
Women on the other hand, most likely got into their position as “expert” through some hiring quota or affirmative action mandate. Who knows what it was, we all know what it wasn’t: being an expert. And while these mandates and diversity quotas are essential to the “gender equality” movement, they are pure poison to the art of public speaking.
Most importantly, however, is that men will stand up and be counted for what they’re saying. They’ll put it all on the line if what they think they’re saying is true — and for that reason it might as well be. Women have never had the courage to do this. As soon as someone starts tossing heads of lettuce and tomatoes at them for speaking their minds, they throw up facts and datums like popcorn at attacking seagulls and dive behind the podium for cover. Did Thomas Paine or Guy Fawkes ever pull that kind of shit? Certainly no, they did not.
I don’t even want to get into how clumsily women throw their sentences together. All I will say is that if the human brain spontaneously combusted if the word ‘basically’ was said more than like a hundred times during a half hour stretch, women wouldn’t even be allowed to open their mouths in public anymore. A chimp with a Speak and Spell strapped to its back could throw thoughts that stuck to the wall in a more cohesive pattern.
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July 6th, 2005 at 2:33 am - IP Man-Hash: 295f9cf3ae166
That is briliant!
If I hear a crappy speaker say ‘basically’ everytime ’she’ is stuck, my brain will spontaneously combust.
Great site you have here, it is nice to see people celebrating the greatness of men. I’m sick of all the feminist bashing of men that has been the last generation. With almost 50 years of feminism, is the world better, or worse?
Keep up the good work…
July 6th, 2005 at 12:40 pm - IP Man-Hash: 22c56efac587a
As an adjunctive to Dick’s compostulation, it would be erudite of oneself to elucidate the readership on other feminine public speaking faux pas.
1. Their inability to structure a convincing argumentation based on logicality or principal factoid phenomona. Females always resort to emotivish postulation when concerned with their logicality argumentation.
2. Tonal deliverance is consistent with the beckoning alert commonly utilised by canine education facilitators. The auditonability of the argumentation can’t be sustained within the audible awareness range of the male of the species. An inbuilt genetic “switch” will indicate sub-neuretically within the man, diverting his attention-mind to a more intricate and appropriate thoughtness processification. This is consistent with the male becoming aware of the size of the tonal deliverers’ mammary glands or, to whit, the shape of the female posterior.
3. Quantum mechanics are often required to calculate the suitable awareness duration of the deliverance. Should your awareness be required for longer than two parsecs, the space-time continuum will be fluxottically affected. The immediate preventative rectificality of this potential paradox imposition is to remove the object creating a disturbance within the quantum field and send it back to the meal preparation area, from whence it originated.
4. Deliberate obsfucation is a tool of the cunning yet dynamically inept presenter. After introducing an emotive postulation and finding an unreceptive auditory receptor, the presenter will revert to yet another specious postulation based on “feelings” and be required to assert the diametric opposite of the original proposal to gain a positive acceptance from the receptor. The presenter will fail to see the logicality of this argument as being patently false, quite often because they often fail to see the proboscis on the front of their visage!
July 7th, 2005 at 10:13 am - IP Man-Hash: 3462880e2fe5a
When did Homer ever start an epic with a joke? And if we are talking about shitty public speakers, you can count our dear president as one of them. Without his team of speech writers, he couldn’t talk his way out of a wet paper bag with two hands and a flashlight. And Hitler starting with a joke? Who was laughing?
Edit from Dick
While sending an email to me, “Andy� accidentally disclosed that she is really Megan Strobel.
Innocent malfeascence or a benchmark of woman’s integrity?
July 7th, 2005 at 10:27 am - IP Man-Hash: f3ae1ac46a2e3
Andy, this isn’t a website about how and when Homer did or said what. We’re all here to discuss how and when men are better than women — all the time and in every way.
I’m sure there are resources out there with the information you’re looking for.
-Dick
July 7th, 2005 at 10:31 am - IP Man-Hash: 3462880e2fe5a
One of my major’s was in Classical Humanities. If you happen to know the what the Ancient Greeks found funny at the time Homer was writing, please let the Classics community know. But, if your knowledge of ancient greek humor is as unscholarly as your desire to back your assertions with Classical references in order to get a laugh, then don’t bother them.
July 7th, 2005 at 2:53 pm - IP Man-Hash: 4aedcdc0be577
Okay, I know that since I am a lady, I’m technically not allowed to be here. Also I realize that, because of what I am about to say, I may receive a chilly reception from the other ladies who are not supposed to be here. Call me a self-hating female but…
But goddamn, Dick, everything you say is true! And being a woman I think I can say, from personal experience, that men are so much better. At everything. All across the board. (Except maybe in being bad at things, because women certainly excel at that, obviously.)
So the question I must pose to you is this: as a woman, what can I do to conquer my bitchy and wheedling nature and be a better human? How can I take good, manish qualities and make them suitably feminine (though I hope this is not a contradition of terms) for myself?
I await your reply with anticipation!
July 7th, 2005 at 7:30 pm - IP Man-Hash: 22c56efac587a
Perhaps you could start by subverting your female peers with logic. Denounce their emotive ramblings with the truth of the matter. Ask them to explain their fevered rantings without resorting to ‘cos I said so!’
July 8th, 2005 at 12:08 am - IP Man-Hash: ac62c77584632
Vanessa, that’s a great question. Let me start off by saying that asking questions is a good solid step in the right direction.
Women hate to ask questions — to their detriment and embarrassment. They hate to ask questions because they are the first to think less of someone for doing so. They also hate to ask questions because they hate being asked questions.
Women don’t know anything, so when someone asks a woman a question, she thinks it is a deliberate attack to expose her as the fraud and phony that she secretly fears she is.
Just remember this: if you’re only asking, can you even be wrong?
-Dick
July 8th, 2005 at 9:53 am - IP Man-Hash: cd8d093b5b07b
Dick,
Yeah, I completely see your point. Like, here’s a really good personal example. My ex would always (constantly) bemoaned the fact that I never asked him if he wanted head. He said he consistently (and we’re talking multiple times a day, here) had to ask for it himself, and that I always got pissy when he did ask, and that I always had some excuse, like I had to be at work in 10 minutes, or that my case of strep throat made it uncomfortable, or that I wasn’t feeling “into it” because he hadn’t showered in three days. Anyways, I can now definitely see how my persistent avoidance of asking pertinent questions like that, as well as my resistance to being asked, probably contributed the lion’s share of reasons for the demise of the relationship. Believe me, it won’t be a mistake I make in the future!
Thanks for the tip, you’re brilliant!