Women Ruined Valentine’s Day

Did you know Valentine’s Day started in the first century, when warring factions of the Roman Empire sent barrels of pig hearts to one another as a token of their disgust?

It’s a relief to know little of Valentine’s Day has changed over the manturies.

Women are so fucking selfish that they would rather some kid die in a ditch somewhere in Africa than give up just one of their precious Valentine’s Day presents and extravagant meals. Men are better than women at Valentine’s Day. Women ruined it with their selfishness.

Kids have a holiday a lot like Valentine’s Day. It’s called Christmas, and kids are allowed to act like little bastards during Christmas because they’re kids. Women have no excuse. They can vote.

I did some quick calculations to find out just how selfish women indeed are. What I found was shocking. Researchers estimate women will suck up approximately 13.7 billion dollars in Valentine’s Day bullshit this year. That’s 13.7 billion dollars in flowers, jewelry, and lingerie women will wear once because for some stupid reason women think lingerie is like soap. The more you use it, the faster it wears out; and then I guess she can’t dress up like a naughty nurse when she’s 70. It’s too bad women don’t think their asses work in that way. You use it, you lose it.

Now chew on this.

According to some commercials I’ve seen, it costs only pennies a day to improve the lives of impoverished African children. Pennies a day is a maximum of four pennies. If it cost five pennies a day to save starving children, then they would just say a nickel because that’s shorter to say and the saved commercial air time could be turned into food.

13.7 billion dollars divided by four pennies is 342 trillion starving African children. I don’t need to check a globe to know there are less than that many starving African children in Africa. There aren’t even that many starving African children in the whole world.

You see my point. That princess you’re buying a puppy for next week is taking a puppy’s worth of meals out of the mouths of kids halfway across the world. And she loves every second of it.

Here’s another statistic I found proving men are better than women.

The average amount a man will spend this year is $135.67
The average amount a woman will spend is $68.64

Isn’t that called a pay gap?

Women don’t even know how expensive flowers are. A dozen roses is like eighty dollars. Does it make her a whore because it’s over forty bucks? Don’t be absurd. It makes her a whore for accepting them in the first place.

If women were really so packed full of compassion and nurturing, then the most wasteful holiday of the year wouldn’t be dedicated to them. If women were stuffed with any caring at all, Valentine’s Day would be about volunteering at the local homeless shelter. It would be about buying a star and naming it after her, except instead of a star it would be a short bus full of starving African kids.

Valentine’s Day is the biggest waste in history. But who cares? Women sure don’t. They’re selfish as fuck.

Maybe all those starving kids should just eat some cake.

V Day losses

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92 Responses to “Women Ruined Valentine’s Day”

Pages: [1] 2 3 4 5 »

  1. Gabby Says:

    We are cousins

  2. Gabby Says:

    Anyway, So where is Sonyad? I like to here him chat. lol

  3. me Says:

    this ain no dating service u know
    stop look man
    he probably gone

  4. Gabby Says:

    Awww…. I want to here His condescending tone. He’s always trying to sound bright. Lol.

  5. Gabby Says:

    Why do we have the same hash?

  6. Gabby Says:

    The hash is per computer or per area?

  7. Gabby Says:

    Or the hash is per network?

  8. sonyad Says:

    The hash is per feather.

    - pepe deluxe - before you leave 1.12

  9. PFM Says:

    Now why is it that so, so many women come here? You women don’t know when to stay the fuck out of something. Of course, I do realize you only come here out of spite for us men. And of course you only hate us because none of us will touch you with a ten-foot pole. Of course, this could be due to many things. For example, you may be fat. No man wants a fat chick. Or you may have disgusting manners. Or the lack of brain power (indicated by constant LOLs). Now because of you, we men have one more thing on you women. We can follow instructions. You can’t. Now get your stupid, fat, feminist asses the fuck off this site.

  10. Billy Says:

    That is why there are no more men only universities any longer.
    But there are now hundreds of women only universities.
    Women can’t stand to be left out of anything that men create.
    And men create most eveything. Yet women have a right to their privacy. Such hypocracy in eveything women do.
    Women are a flakey bunch.

  11. Tyler Says:

    Valentines Day used to be like any other day, until women ruined the entire thing by wanting their boyfriends/husbands to buy them useless shit that will not be used for anything better but a paperweight. A woman will get upset if you don’t buy her a set of $5,000 earrings, regardless that she’ll only wear them once because she has 10,000 other pairs.
    Valentines Day is the dumps.

  12. e v i l e d d y Says:

    Steak and Blowjob day is awesome!

  13. Howard Says:

    Women ruin every holiday.

  14. Doubt Says:

    Jakob said:

    This is exactly what I expected to find out after reading the title Ruined Valentine’s Day. Thanks for informative article

    I want to kill you.

  15. Lolerscaters Says:

    Women are bad because they will not give me a blowjob.

  16. HELLSPAWN Says:

    The only good thing about Valentine’s day is fucking all the lonely M.I.L.F.’s and then not giving them shit in return. Spending 1$ for a card for a 4 hour fuck is the cheapest prostitute in the world. Thailand’s not even that fucking cheap. Other than that, Carlos Mencia was right… if I’m gonna buy a woman shit for Valentine’s I better not get a fucking pen and tie for Father’s Day. I’d better get a damn lap dance and rolex watch…. BITCH!

    -Sgt Reyes

  17. Doubt Says:

    A $1 card is 25 starving African children. It’s a shame that she doesn’t just cut the shit-chat and put out without hassle for someone who doesn’t have nasty unwashed black hair and must constantly remind everyone how much corporate America sucks, even though he’s wearing brand-name apparel endorsed by his sell-out Punk bands. I wouldn’t have to involve every discussion with the phrase ‘what your thoughts as a woman are on _____.’ But then, I wouldn’t want to have some stock-class losers who have grown a ’subculture’ in place of a personality and an individual thought thinking I want to be associated with them. Unless they’re bleeders, because black nail polish on a little white college chick with big tits and a nice ass is still hot. Granted the new meaning for ‘associated with’ is ‘having sex.’
    I suppose it may be a subconscious understanding that another word for emotional is jaded, and weak chicks are easy fucks.

  18. kristina Says:

    you know you almost had me for a second DIck. I almost thought you maybe cared for the kids in Africa. Quit mentioning them please. You don’t know every female on the face of the planet and until you do, you really have no true knowledge of us. I don’t claim to know every man in the world and to know what every man is, do assume you know what every female is. After all, How can I be selfish and not give up anything expensive when I’ve never gotten anything like that? And i don’t ask for it either. Each boyfriend I get who wants to buy me something expensive I tell no, don’t do that. Then they tell me to shut up and let them spoil me. Hmm….
    I’m not selfish Dick. Men just like to buy women expensive things.

  19. PETER SUREWOOD. Says:

    Claudius, the emperor of Rome needed to halt the downward spiral in enrollment the army. He believed wives and families were the cause of men not wanting to re-enlist in the army. So he outlawed all marriages and engagements like a wise man. Some douche bag named St. Valentine decides to be a common criminal and break the law. So he starts marrying people. The idiot gets caught and is beat to death with clubs.

    So when your lover is picturing the person they want to fuck as they sleep with you during valentines day, please remember what you’re celebrating. Some dude getting beat to death with clubs for marrying people.

  20. mantastic Says:

    Marcella said:

    u can say what u want but all i know i love valentines cuz i gutless and i love chocolate its a free way in gettin it and u guys want de pun pun so u gun get it for us u all moo moo to cuz u aiding in the expense nobody puttin a gun to u head oh. they got two sides to the story so dont cum with that.

    You’re beyond the most ignorant CUNT i’ve ever had the displeasure of reading…or attempting to read. You ghetto want to be fucking retard, shut the fuck up and blow me.

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